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Your Christmas Letter to Father Christmas
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Mine reads:
I haven't been good and I don't care
Please send me a burka and 2 x 365 bottles of white zinfandel. Oh and a cock or two if there's any worth having 
Love from
Minxyrella69 xxx
*******
What does your letter say?  |
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
Dear Santa
Please give me the gift of more free time, to be able to travel all around the country to meet all my sexy friends.
Love Tee
PS I've been a naughty fucker this year, but what do you expect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dear Santa
We’d like some honey
The mince pie and whiskey will be in the usual place, please pass on my apologies to rudolf, Lacey keeps buying that organic stuff. It’s good enough for the snowman’s nosey but I’ll try and get rudolf a proper one.
Thanks, you da man.
Love from sam  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Santa
Please give me the gift of more free time, to be able to travel all around the country to meet all my sexy friends.
Love Tee
PS I've been a naughty fucker this year, but what do you expect."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Santa
We’d like some honey
The mince pie and whiskey will be in the usual place, please pass on my apologies to rudolf, Lacey keeps buying that organic stuff. It’s good enough for the snowman’s nosey but I’ll try and get rudolf a proper one.
Thanks, you da man.
Love from sam "
How cute is that?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Adina-Santeress
Buy me lotsa stuff, and cherry brandy and coffee tequila!
Your truly
Myself x
 "
Lol I've been buying my own xmas stuff for years now it's way more specific to what I actually want to receive lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wrote a song about this 
I like songs
I'm not sure whether to bring it out on vinyl "
Do one of them there utube thingies like what was popular a while back on here.
Ppllllllleeeeaasssse |
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"I wrote a song about this
I like songs
I'm not sure whether to bring it out on vinyl
Do one of them there utube thingies like what was popular a while back on here.
Ppllllllleeeeaasssse "
I'm aiming for next Christmas |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Plus I'm not judgemental like Santa so I can be myself year in year out without being threatened at the end of each year... It's a way more relaxing lifestyle imo |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Adina-Santeress
Buy me lotsa stuff, and cherry brandy and coffee tequila!
Your truly
Myself x
Lol I've been buying my own xmas stuff for years now it's way more specific to what I actually want to receive lol x"
To be honest I don't care what I get as I buy myself what I want but I thought as there are few serious threads going on I just wanted to inject a little fun into the mix |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dear Adina-Santeress
Buy me lotsa stuff, and cherry brandy and coffee tequila!
Your truly
Myself x
Lol I've been buying my own xmas stuff for years now it's way more specific to what I actually want to receive lol x
To be honest I don't care what I get as I buy myself what I want but I thought as there are few serious threads going on I just wanted to inject a little fun into the mix "
Are you saying cherry brandy and coffee tequila aren't fun?? ... I'm really looking forward to pretending to be surprised when I open those presents up in crimbo day!!!! lol x (srly I wrap up the presents I bought for myself) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Adina-Santeress
Buy me lotsa stuff, and cherry brandy and coffee tequila!
Your truly
Myself x
Lol I've been buying my own xmas stuff for years now it's way more specific to what I actually want to receive lol x
To be honest I don't care what I get as I buy myself what I want but I thought as there are few serious threads going on I just wanted to inject a little fun into the mix
Are you saying cherry brandy and coffee tequila aren't fun?? ... I'm really looking forward to pretending to be surprised when I open those presents up in crimbo day!!!! lol x (srly I wrap up the presents I bought for myself)"
Lol no! I meant other threads in the forums can be a bit serious ... alcohol is always fun
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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago
Dorset |
We would ask if he could possibly cast some spell or other over everyone so they wouldn't even think of Christmas until it's December, this shit all started in October by the time it arrives we will all be advertised out, remember it was a festival of religion not just a mass shopping opportunity  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dear Adina-Santeress
Buy me lotsa stuff, and cherry brandy and coffee tequila!
Your truly
Myself x
Lol I've been buying my own xmas stuff for years now it's way more specific to what I actually want to receive lol x
To be honest I don't care what I get as I buy myself what I want but I thought as there are few serious threads going on I just wanted to inject a little fun into the mix
Are you saying cherry brandy and coffee tequila aren't fun?? ... I'm really looking forward to pretending to be surprised when I open those presents up in crimbo day!!!! lol x (srly I wrap up the presents I bought for myself)
Lol no! I meant other threads in the forums can be a bit serious ... alcohol is always fun
"
It's always fun till the room starts spinning and you have to go and call god on the big white ceramic telephone!!... Us humans never seem to remember how unfun booze can be till it's waaaay too late lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dear Santa you predictable wanker, I knew you'd be out tonight and have come to Lapland and am currently holding all your workers and wife at gunpoint..
Now we've established an understanding here is my list of seasonal demands
Three pairs of sports socks.
Some deodorant.
Possibly something chocolate based.
That's about it really.
Yours irrationally
Christos
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We would ask if he could possibly cast some spell or other over everyone so they wouldn't even think of Christmas until it's December, this shit all started in October by the time it arrives we will all be advertised out, remember it was a festival of religion not just a mass shopping opportunity "
I was trying to be lighthearted here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Adina-Santeress
Buy me lotsa stuff, and cherry brandy and coffee tequila!
Your truly
Myself x
Lol I've been buying my own xmas stuff for years now it's way more specific to what I actually want to receive lol x
To be honest I don't care what I get as I buy myself what I want but I thought as there are few serious threads going on I just wanted to inject a little fun into the mix
Are you saying cherry brandy and coffee tequila aren't fun?? ... I'm really looking forward to pretending to be surprised when I open those presents up in crimbo day!!!! lol x (srly I wrap up the presents I bought for myself)
Lol no! I meant other threads in the forums can be a bit serious ... alcohol is always fun
It's always fun till the room starts spinning and you have to go and call god on the big white ceramic telephone!!... Us humans never seem to remember how unfun booze can be till it's waaaay too late lol x"
Yeah but aren't the phone calls fun? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Santa you predictable wanker, I knew you'd be out tonight and have come to Lapland and am currently holding all your workers and wife at gunpoint..
Now we've established an understanding here is my list of seasonal demands
Three pairs of sports socks.
Some deodorant.
Possibly something chocolate based.
That's about it really.
Yours irrationally
Christos
"
You can't hold up the Elves ...
Mrs Clause maybe |
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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago
between havant and chichester |
"Dear Santa
Your not real but in the spirit of Xmas can i bang the fuck out of your Mrs
Cheers then.
"
what do you mean he's not really ur be saying there's no tooth fairy or easter bunny next shame on you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mine would read:
Dear santa
Please can i have a new french maid outfit, please can Will have a new flogger ... we have worn the ones out.
I would ask you to put them in my stockings but im still in them
Love
K & W xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Santa
Your not real but in the spirit of Xmas can i bang the fuck out of your Mrs
Cheers then.
what do you mean he's not really ur be saying there's no tooth fairy or easter bunny next shame on you"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dear Santa
So all those people that bought into the bullshit spouted by Farage and that cunt Boris.
Any chance you can not give them anything and instead deliver an extra gift to everyone working their arses off in the NHS, they are far more deserving.
Love DB |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dear Santa
You forgot to send me the doxy wand last year so would it be at all possible if I could have it this year please
And of course the chocolate selection box and satsuma that I always get ....ta muchly
I will leave the whiskey out for you as usual  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Santa
So all those people that bought into the bullshit spouted by Farage and that cunt Boris.
Any chance you can not give them anything and instead deliver an extra gift to everyone working their arses off in the NHS, they are far more deserving.
Love DB"
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Santa
You forgot to send me the doxy wand last year so would it be at all possible if I could have it this year please
And of course the chocolate selection box and satsuma that I always get ....ta muchly
I will leave the whiskey out for you as usual "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Santa
You forgot to send me the doxy wand last year so would it be at all possible if I could have it this year please
And of course the chocolate selection box and satsuma that I always get ....ta muchly
I will leave the whiskey out for you as usual "
No wonder he forgot your doxy, with all the Whiskey he gets through |
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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago
Traffic land |
"Dear Adina-Santeress
Buy me lotsa stuff, and cherry brandy and coffee tequila!
Your truly
Myself x
Lol I've been buying my own xmas stuff for years now it's way more specific to what I actually want to receive lol x
To be honest I don't care what I get as I buy myself what I want but I thought as there are few serious threads going on I just wanted to inject a little fun into the mix
Are you saying cherry brandy and coffee tequila aren't fun?? ... I'm really looking forward to pretending to be surprised when I open those presents up in crimbo day!!!! lol x (srly I wrap up the presents I bought for myself)"
I have a friend at work who does a stocking for herself. She does it so early she says she’s forgotten most of it by Christmas |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Santa
You forgot to send me the doxy wand last year so would it be at all possible if I could have it this year please
And of course the chocolate selection box and satsuma that I always get ....ta muchly
I will leave the whiskey out for you as usual No wonder he forgot your doxy, with all the Whiskey he gets through "
Sssssshhhhh I was hoping he'd leave me a few extra pressies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dear Santa. Please no more lynx bodyspray from my grandson and cheers for never leaving Me a skateboard when I was a lad. In the end I saved up and and got it myself. You beardy old tosser.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dear Santa
Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but......well, I guess it wasn't much use as I heard you passed it on pretty quickly.  I'd quite like it back if possible, as I've since learned it can be quite helpful....
You also told me, in no uncertain terms, what I would get if my behaviour didn't "improve". I've worked hard to make sure it didn't, so it's time to put your money where your mouth is!
Merry Xmas!
T xx
Ps - bring a few elves, we'll make it a party! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We would ask if he could possibly cast some spell or other over everyone so they wouldn't even think of Christmas until it's December, this shit all started in October by the time it arrives we will all be advertised out, remember it was a festival of religion not just a mass shopping opportunity "
I think about xmas the week just before and the week afterwards when the sales are on, which is when I buy lotsa stuff lol.
I'm not religious, never was so why are we supposed to revere a mass commercial religious holiday the whole planet's been indoctrinated into fake celebrating?... If Jesus saw whatagoan in his name I reckon he'd definitely bring on a Christian zombie Apocolypse!!!.
I celebrate Winter solstice, it's a beautiful time of year and the sea looks so beautiful in the Winter months. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dear santa.
It's an incredibly busy time of year for you and the gang so what I propose is, that you let the reindeer loose in our back garden as there's loads of goodies for them to munch on. In the meantime, we've got booze, food, and women. I suggest you get yourself in here, forget all that rushing around delivering presents bollocks, and get your party on. The hot blonde with the shaven haven has her eyes on you.
You're welcome.
Mr 'n' Mrs N
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Santa. Please no more lynx bodyspray from my grandson and cheers for never leaving Me a skateboard when I was a lad. In the end I saved up and and got it myself. You beardy old tosser.
"
 |
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Dear Santa.
I'd like to feel loved this Xmas.
Please make it possible for me to see my self proclaimed sister and nephews.
Oh, and may I have lots of new saucy clothes and pervy items.
Nice one you greedy mince pie eating cunt. You must be a cunt, I mean, who gives kids an umbrella as a gift? I've never forgiven you for that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Santa.
Nice one you greedy mince pie eating cunt. You must be a cunt, I mean, who gives kids an umbrella as a gift? I've never forgiven you for that."
OMG ... hope you got a million other lovely things with it? |
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"Dear Santa.
Nice one you greedy mince pie eating cunt. You must be a cunt, I mean, who gives kids an umbrella as a gift? I've never forgiven you for that.
OMG ... hope you got a million other lovely things with it? "
Just one of the many reasons I'm not a fan of "good ole crimbo"
Let's just say birthdays and Xmas weren't exactly special in my house growing up.
This year is the first birthday I'm actually celebrating. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Santa.
Nice one you greedy mince pie eating cunt. You must be a cunt, I mean, who gives kids an umbrella as a gift? I've never forgiven you for that.
OMG ... hope you got a million other lovely things with it?
Just one of the many reasons I'm not a fan of "good ole crimbo"
Let's just say birthdays and Xmas weren't exactly special in my house growing up.
This year is the first birthday I'm actually celebrating. "
I hate Xmas actually I just thought this might be a bit of fun...hope I haven't opened old wounds for you xx |
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"Dear Santa.
Nice one you greedy mince pie eating cunt. You must be a cunt, I mean, who gives kids an umbrella as a gift? I've never forgiven you for that.
OMG ... hope you got a million other lovely things with it?
Just one of the many reasons I'm not a fan of "good ole crimbo"
Let's just say birthdays and Xmas weren't exactly special in my house growing up.
This year is the first birthday I'm actually celebrating.
I hate Xmas actually I just thought this might be a bit of fun...hope I haven't opened old wounds for you xx"
Nahhh, it doesn't bother me at all. Was what it was. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Santa.
Nice one you greedy mince pie eating cunt. You must be a cunt, I mean, who gives kids an umbrella as a gift? I've never forgiven you for that.
OMG ... hope you got a million other lovely things with it?
Just one of the many reasons I'm not a fan of "good ole crimbo"
Let's just say birthdays and Xmas weren't exactly special in my house growing up.
This year is the first birthday I'm actually celebrating.
I hate Xmas actually I just thought this might be a bit of fun...hope I haven't opened old wounds for you xx
Nahhh, it doesn't bother me at all. Was what it was. "
 |
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"Dear Santa
We’d like some honey
The mince pie and whiskey will be in the usual place, please pass on my apologies to rudolf, Lacey keeps buying that organic stuff. It’s good enough for the snowman’s nosey but I’ll try and get rudolf a proper one.
Thanks, you da man.
Love from sam "
Any particular Honey? |
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"Dear Santa.
I'd like to feel loved this Xmas.
Please make it possible for me to see my self proclaimed sister and nephews.
Oh, and may I have lots of new saucy clothes and pervy items.
Nice one you greedy mince pie eating cunt. You must be a cunt, I mean, who gives kids an umbrella as a gift? I've never forgiven you for that."
Oh you. I love you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear Santa,
For all those working in the Publc Sector over Christmas, can you give them a trouble free shift on Christmas Day.
For those working in Westminster, the gift of common sense.
For those doing Charity Work, the opportunity see the good that they do.
For Teachers, may their pupils be receptive to the knowledge you pass on.
For the mechanics, plumbers electricians, may they get at least one job that plays out like a porno film.
For those who are ill, may their recovery be swift.
For those who are terminally ill, may their days be filled with joy.
For the Fab Gents, may they find at least one playmate to have fun with.
For the Fab ladies, may the guy you think fits the bill, be your knight in shining armour and not a Knave in tin foil.
For you Fab couples, may their relationships stay rock solid.
For the Fab TV/CD, may their stockings remain ladder free.
For the Fab TS, may they be treated with respect and be seen by others as the gender they have struggled to become.
For my hotlist, may they remain hot.
For my friends list, may they continue to be truly special people who get all their wishes.
As for me? Santa, sort all of the above and job's a good un. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Santa,
For all those working in the Publc Sector over Christmas, can you give them a trouble free shift on Christmas Day.
For those working in Westminster, the gift of common sense.
For those doing Charity Work, the opportunity see the good that they do.
For Teachers, may their pupils be receptive to the knowledge you pass on.
For the mechanics, plumbers electricians, may they get at least one job that plays out like a porno film.
For those who are ill, may their recovery be swift.
For those who are terminally ill, may their days be filled with joy.
For the Fab Gents, may they find at least one playmate to have fun with.
For the Fab ladies, may the guy you think fits the bill, be your knight in shining armour and not a Knave in tin foil.
For you Fab couples, may their relationships stay rock solid.
For the Fab TV/CD, may their stockings remain ladder free.
For the Fab TS, may they be treated with respect and be seen by others as the gender they have struggled to become.
For my hotlist, may they remain hot.
For my friends list, may they continue to be truly special people who get all their wishes.
As for me? Santa, sort all of the above and job's a good un."
And you didn't think to mention the OP? 
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"Dear Santa.
I'd like to feel loved this Xmas.
Please make it possible for me to see my self proclaimed sister and nephews.
Oh, and may I have lots of new saucy clothes and pervy items.
Nice one you greedy mince pie eating cunt. You must be a cunt, I mean, who gives kids an umbrella as a gift? I've never forgiven you for that.
Oh you. I love you "
I love you too xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Santa,
For the Fab ladies, may the guy you think fits the bill, be your knight in shining armour and not a Knave in tin foil."
That's you OP...
"For my hotlist, may they remain hot.
For my friends list, may they continue to be truly special people who get all their wishes."
Thats you again
"And you didn't think to mention the OP?
"
There you go |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Dear Santa,
For the Fab ladies, may the guy you think fits the bill, be your knight in shining armour and not a Knave in tin foil. That's you OP...
For my hotlist, may they remain hot.
For my friends list, may they continue to be truly special people who get all their wishes.Thats you again
And you didn't think to mention the OP?
There you go "
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
" Hey Santa Claus You cunt, Where's my fucking bike? I've unwrapped all this other shit, and there's nothing that I like! "
I wrote you a fucking letter and I come to see you twice.
You worn out geriatric cart, you forgot my fucking bike!
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" Hey Santa Claus You cunt, Where's my fucking bike? I've unwrapped all this other shit, and there's nothing that I like!
I wrote you a fucking letter and I come to see you twice.
You worn out geriatric cart, you forgot my fucking bike!
"
at last |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" Hey Santa Claus You cunt, Where's my fucking bike? I've unwrapped all this other shit, and there's nothing that I like!
I wrote you a fucking letter and I come to see you twice.
You worn out geriatric cart, you forgot my fucking bike!
"
What about the children |
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" Hey Santa Claus You cunt, Where's my fucking bike? I've unwrapped all this other shit, and there's nothing that I like!
I wrote you a fucking letter and I come to see you twice.
You worn out geriatric cart, you forgot my fucking bike!
"
I always thought it was fart not cart lol |
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