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Swinging on a budget......
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Pensioners! Unemployed! Wastrels! How do you afford to swing ??
C'mon .... im going to be penniless soon.
How do I keep going ?
Suggest some substitutes and non negotiables....
e.g. reusable condoms ? sheep gut washable ones ?
wtf do I do for make up n nibbles ?
Are vibrators a thing of the past?
What the Fugg do I wear ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hurry up and claim your Silver Swinger allowance. It's a non means-tested benefit that funds the purchase of lube, johnnys and mattress protectors. Looks like it might be one of the benefits to be cut to reduce government spending. |
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By *INKKKYMan
over a year ago
LIVERPOOL/ WIRRAL |
"Pensioners! Unemployed! Wastrels! How do you afford to swing ??
C'mon .... im going to be penniless soon.
How do I keep going ?
Suggest some substitutes and non negotiables....
e.g. reusable condoms ? sheep gut washable ones ?
wtf do I do for make up n nibbles ?
Are vibrators a thing of the past?
What the Fugg do I wear ?? "
get a younger man to supply food drinks and condoms??  p.s as for the vibrators use the batteries out your remote control, tele is crap these days anyway!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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just get a electric charger plug into the mains and hey no need for battries
as for free
make me person buy the drinks pay for the hotel have sex and say Thanks and go your own merry way
( please note i have never done the above but i bet some have lol) |
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"I can steal some more batteries from work for you Granny... you'll have to wait till tomorrow though cause I'm not going in on a Sunday!  "
Your'e so kind. Can you steal a rotary mix and attachments to go with them ?
P.S. Im not penniless yet.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Go to hotel, sneak a key from chambermaid, then go to kitchen bins and grab some left overs, and hey presto nibbles and a bed. On way out take the free coffe/tea/sugar and the toiletries and you then have your freebies. Leave key back where you found it and run(or walk as fast as you can)  "
Better still, go to the hotel dressed as a chambermaid and barge into each room on the pretext of housekeeping and if you surprise a handsome stud in bed nursing a hard on, you know what to do...
On your way out grab some of the booze from his mini bar. |
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"Go to hotel, sneak a key from chambermaid, then go to kitchen bins and grab some left overs, and hey presto nibbles and a bed. On way out take the free coffe/tea/sugar and the toiletries and you then have your freebies. Leave key back where you found it and run(or walk as fast as you can)
Better still, go to the hotel dressed as a chambermaid and barge into each room on the pretext of housekeeping and if you surprise a handsome stud in bed nursing a hard on, you know what to do...
On your way out grab some of the booze from his mini bar."
damn i knew i forgot something ... the booze |
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To resolve the situation of flat batteries....
Stuff a carrot up your front bottom and grab your bus pass. I recommend the number 68.... it goes over 61 speed humps every 45 minutes.
When you have finished... slice the carrot into batons and that's your nibbles sorted.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To resolve the situation of flat batteries....
Stuff a carrot up your front bottom and grab your bus pass. I recommend the number 68.... it goes over 61 speed humps every 45 minutes.
When you have finished... slice the carrot into batons and that's your nibbles sorted.
"
....we have some fab ladies on this site guaranteed to make you smile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To resolve the situation of flat batteries....
Stuff a carrot up your front bottom and grab your bus pass. I recommend the number 68.... it goes over 61 speed humps every 45 minutes.
When you have finished... slice the carrot into batons and that's your nibbles sorted.
....we have some fab ladies on this site guaranteed to make you smile "
and of course some FAb guys ..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pensioners! Unemployed! Wastrels! How do you afford to swing ??
C'mon .... im going to be penniless soon.
How do I keep going ?
Suggest some substitutes and non negotiables....
e.g. reusable condoms ? sheep gut washable
ones ?
wtf do I do for make up n nibbles ?
Are vibrators a thing of the past?
What the Fugg do I wear ?? "
Come live wi me then we can be broke together lol xx  |
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For fake tan use a used tea bag rub all over body and let it dry, if you want sparkley tan add some glitter.
For make-up food colouring might be a help just mix and match.
P.S still working on the vibrator substitute, so will get back to you. |
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"To resolve the situation of flat batteries....
Stuff a carrot up your front bottom and grab your bus pass. I recommend the number 68.... it goes over 61 speed humps every 45 minutes.
When you have finished... slice the carrot into batons and that's your nibbles sorted.
"
Moist floppy batons ? Sounds a bit Heston to me ..... |
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"For fake tan use a used tea bag rub all over body and let it dry, if you want sparkley tan add some glitter.
For make-up food colouring might be a help just mix and match.
P.S still working on the vibrator substitute, so will get back to you. "
Excellent idea. Im sitting in a beetroot blusher as we speak ..... axle grease isn't the best lipgloss i've ever had |
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"stick your meet phone down yer pants on vibrate then if you get a call even if you cant afford to go you get some pleasure "
Best idea yet...... im going to put my fuck phone number in the meet this minute sextion n see how many calls to orgasm ...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You will obviously have to economise on messages, I suggest a cut and paste policy, maybe with something original and imaginative perhaps, "Fancy a fuck"..... |
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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago
between havant and chichester |
rent out any spare rooms to young student hunks
apply for meals on wheels
have a affair with local shopkeepers for food
now all you need is a driver with a 4x4 to ram raid off licence |
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