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Honeys helpline
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"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline.
What seems to be the problem today?
"
I shoved my cock into a cartoon character shaped hot water bottle to warm it up and now I've got 3rd degree burns and a penguin stuck on my cock |
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"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline.
What seems to be the problem today?
I shoved my cock into a cartoon character shaped hot water bottle to warm it up and now I've got 3rd degree burns and a penguin stuck on my cock "
Rachel can help |
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 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline.
What seems to be the problem today?
I shoved my cock into a cartoon character shaped hot water bottle to warm it up and now I've got 3rd degree burns and a penguin stuck on my cock
Rachel can help "
At your service. What I don’t know about cock isn’t worth knowing.  |
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"I've been away for a few weeks and come back to find some of my friends have gone unlos.. Now feeling very unloved..
I'm still here 
Ahh thanks..
But we are not friends..  "
You need to rectify that |
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"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline.
What seems to be the problem today?
I shoved my cock into a cartoon character shaped hot water bottle to warm it up and now I've got 3rd degree burns and a penguin stuck on my cock
Rachel can help
At your service. What I don’t know about cock isn’t worth knowing. "
It's a penguin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline.
What seems to be the problem today?
I shoved my cock into a cartoon character shaped hot water bottle to warm it up and now I've got 3rd degree burns and a penguin stuck on my cock
Rachel can help
At your service. What I don’t know about cock isn’t worth knowing.
It's a penguin."
Oh. I know next to fuck all about penguins  |
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By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago
Iceland, but Aldi is closer.. |
"I've been away for a few weeks and come back to find some of my friends have gone unlos.. Now feeling very unloved..
I'm still here
Ahh thanks..
But we are not friends..
You need to rectify that "
Ok...
Will you be my friend?
There, that should do it..  |
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"I've been away for a few weeks and come back to find some of my friends have gone unlos.. Now feeling very unloved..
I'm still here
Ahh thanks..
But we are not friends..
You need to rectify that
Ok...
Will you be my friend?
There, that should do it.. "
yes, yes I will |
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|
By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago
Iceland, but Aldi is closer.. |
"I've been away for a few weeks and come back to find some of my friends have gone unlos.. Now feeling very unloved..
I'm still here
Ahh thanks..
But we are not friends..
You need to rectify that
Ok...
Will you be my friend?
There, that should do it.. yes, yes I will "
Aww shucks.. |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been away for a few weeks and come back to find some of my friends have gone unlos.. Now feeling very unloved..
I'm still here
Ahh thanks..
But we are not friends..
You need to rectify that
Ok...
Will you be my friend?
There, that should do it.. yes, yes I will
Aww shucks.. "
Careful. She has pictures of her hairy chest in her friends pics. It’s really quite shocking.  |
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"I've been away for a few weeks and come back to find some of my friends have gone unlos.. Now feeling very unloved..
I'm still here
Ahh thanks..
But we are not friends..
You need to rectify that
Ok...
Will you be my friend?
There, that should do it.. yes, yes I will
Aww shucks..
Careful. She has pictures of her hairy chest in her friends pics. It’s really quite shocking. "
Shhhh |
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|
By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago
Iceland, but Aldi is closer.. |
"I've been away for a few weeks and come back to find some of my friends have gone unlos.. Now feeling very unloved..
I'm still here
Ahh thanks..
But we are not friends..
You need to rectify that
Ok...
Will you be my friend?
There, that should do it.. yes, yes I will
Aww shucks..
Careful. She has pictures of her hairy chest in her friends pics. It’s really quite shocking. "
Really?
It's fortunate I have a yeti fetish.. Hairier the better..  |
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Today I'm blowing things!
Sadly only fuses
Got in my car earlier, no lights, indicators, running lights, head lights, brake lights all gone.
Had to plan my drive to the garage around arm signals & right turns!
Got home, chucked a pitta in the toaster. BANG!
Whole house plunged into darkness!
Currently having kitchen refitted so my fridge freezer in living room, had to move it to get to the lecy cupboard. It's a bloody big double american thing, weighs a ton.
Trouble comes in 3s,just waiting for the next thing to blow now |
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"Today I'm blowing things!
Sadly only fuses
Got in my car earlier, no lights, indicators, running lights, head lights, brake lights all gone.
Had to plan my drive to the garage around arm signals & right turns!
Got home, chucked a pitta in the toaster. BANG!
Whole house plunged into darkness!
Currently having kitchen refitted so my fridge freezer in living room, had to move it to get to the lecy cupboard. It's a bloody big double american thing, weighs a ton.
Trouble comes in 3s,just waiting for the next thing to blow now "
Ergh! Find a man to blow |
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"Today I'm blowing things!
Sadly only fuses
Got in my car earlier, no lights, indicators, running lights, head lights, brake lights all gone.
Had to plan my drive to the garage around arm signals & right turns!
Got home, chucked a pitta in the toaster. BANG!
Whole house plunged into darkness!
Currently having kitchen refitted so my fridge freezer in living room, had to move it to get to the lecy cupboard. It's a bloody big double american thing, weighs a ton.
Trouble comes in 3s,just waiting for the next thing to blow now
Ergh! Find a man to blow "
That's tomorrows plan |
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"Today I'm blowing things!
Sadly only fuses
Got in my car earlier, no lights, indicators, running lights, head lights, brake lights all gone.
Had to plan my drive to the garage around arm signals & right turns!
Got home, chucked a pitta in the toaster. BANG!
Whole house plunged into darkness!
Currently having kitchen refitted so my fridge freezer in living room, had to move it to get to the lecy cupboard. It's a bloody big double american thing, weighs a ton.
Trouble comes in 3s,just waiting for the next thing to blow now
Ergh! Find a man to blow
That's tomorrows plan "
Good girl  |
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"Today I'm blowing things!
Sadly only fuses
Got in my car earlier, no lights, indicators, running lights, head lights, brake lights all gone.
Had to plan my drive to the garage around arm signals & right turns!
Got home, chucked a pitta in the toaster. BANG!
Whole house plunged into darkness!
Currently having kitchen refitted so my fridge freezer in living room, had to move it to get to the lecy cupboard. It's a bloody big double american thing, weighs a ton.
Trouble comes in 3s,just waiting for the next thing to blow now
Ergh! Find a man to blow
That's tomorrows plan
Good girl "
Hehe! Glad you approve x |
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
Dear Helpline
I've been having an affair with a mother (gilf) and her daughter (milf). Do I end it now before it goes too Jeremy Kyle or do I carry it on and see if I can do the treble and nail the granny (nilf???) too???
|
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"Dear Helpline
I've been having an affair with a mother (gilf) and her daughter (milf). Do I end it now before it goes too Jeremy Kyle or do I carry it on and see if I can do the treble and nail the granny (nilf???) too???
"
My darling. You need to seek help. And go to the fantasy section. You have the makings of a good story here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline.
What seems to be the problem today?
"
I’ve pulled my calf muscle and I’m in desperate need of it to ease off a little |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can you teach people to read please xxx
They need to come to my finishing school.
 "
Is it auto correct issue? Isn't that suppose to spell as fisting school? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do. 
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks and power. I'm perfect "
“oh Lord it’s hard to be humble,
When I’m perfect in every way
Each time I look in the mirror
I get better looking each day.” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hmmm tell me what you wearing, touch ur pussy....
Ohh sorry wrong number
I'm wearing grey panties and string vest"
Don't you not ask me what I am wearing? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks, power and a hairy chest. I’m perfect
I love you too. "
Sssh. I’m married. She’ll hear you. X |
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"Can you teach people to read please xxx
They need to come to my finishing school.
Is it auto correct issue? Isn't that suppose to spell as fisting school? "
No. Finishing school.
Where I finish off inept men |
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"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks and power. I'm perfect
“oh Lord it’s hard to be humble,
When I’m perfect in every way
Each time I look in the mirror
I get better looking each day.”"
You have the same struggle. |
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"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks, power and a hairy chest. I’m perfect
I love you too.
Sssh. I’m married. She’ll hear you. X"
I love her too. |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline.
What seems to be the problem today?
I’ve pulled my calf muscle and I’m in desperate need of it to ease off a little
You need a rub?"
And a whiskey. I have the whiskey so yes but don’t know anyone with the ability to help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks and power. I'm perfect
“oh Lord it’s hard to be humble,
When I’m perfect in every way
Each time I look in the mirror
I get better looking each day.”
You have the same struggle. "
What struggle? I’m perfect: |
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"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks and power. I'm perfect
“oh Lord it’s hard to be humble,
When I’m perfect in every way
Each time I look in the mirror
I get better looking each day.”
You have the same struggle.
What struggle? I’m perfect: "
Did someone mention stwuggling? |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks and power. I'm perfect
“oh Lord it’s hard to be humble,
When I’m perfect in every way
Each time I look in the mirror
I get better looking each day.”
You have the same struggle.
What struggle? I’m perfect:
Did someone mention stwuggling?"
You having trouble with your ars? |
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"Miss honey - which is worse hangover horn or hangover hunger?"
I'm taking this one Miss H.
Neither, the worst thing is the offensive smell to others. Hungover people stink 
It's gonna be me at the weekend |
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"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks and power. I'm perfect
“oh Lord it’s hard to be humble,
When I’m perfect in every way
Each time I look in the mirror
I get better looking each day.”
You have the same struggle.
What struggle? I’m perfect:
Did someone mention stwuggling?"
 . Terrible stwuggle |
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"Miss honey - which is worse hangover horn or hangover hunger?
I'm taking this one Miss H.
Neither, the worst thing is the offensive smell to others. Hungover people stink
It's gonna be me at the weekend "
I find rum breath a turn on |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Miss honey - which is worse hangover horn or hangover hunger?
I'm taking this one Miss H.
Neither, the worst thing is the offensive smell to others. Hungover people stink
It's gonna be me at the weekend
I find rum breath a turn on "
Spiced I hope |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline.
What seems to be the problem today?
"
It's two more days before I get to see Kitten again. Any chance you have a time machine in your back of tricks? I'm sure plenty of other would appreciate a jump to Thursday
C |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks, power and a hairy chest. I’m perfect
I love you too.
Sssh. I’m married. She’ll hear you. X
I love her too. "
Fuck. Don’t tell her that! |
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"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline.
What seems to be the problem today?
It's two more days before I get to see Kitten again. Any chance you have a time machine in your back of tricks? I'm sure plenty of other would appreciate a jump to Thursday
C"
If I had a time machine I should very much like to go backwards and undo some things |
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"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks, power and a hairy chest. I’m perfect
I love you too.
Sssh. I’m married. She’ll hear you. X
I love her too.
Fuck. Don’t tell her that! "
Shhh |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline.
What seems to be the problem today?
It's two more days before I get to see Kitten again. Any chance you have a time machine in your back of tricks? I'm sure plenty of other would appreciate a jump to Thursday
C
If I had a time machine I should very much like to go backwards and undo some people "
FTFY
C |
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"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline.
What seems to be the problem today?
It's two more days before I get to see Kitten again. Any chance you have a time machine in your back of tricks? I'm sure plenty of other would appreciate a jump to Thursday
C
If I had a time machine I should very much like to go backwards and undo some people
FTFY
C"
Yes and that |
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didn't you learn how to make a proper snowman?
