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Written communication
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’m always fascinated by the inferences we place on people’s written words. You know, where we decide if they’re joking or teasing or being provocative or are upset or angry or bitter.
It’s interesting because I guesstimate tone/emotion probably bang on sometimes and probably waaaaaaaay off on others. I know this because the prescription people apply to me is so varied in accuracy. Even when people know me, they can be completely wrong.
Written communication is a potential minefield, but I love it too.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m always fascinated by the inferences we place on people’s written words. You know, where we decide if they’re joking or teasing or being provocative or are upset or angry or bitter.
It’s interesting because I guesstimate tone/emotion probably bang on sometimes and probably waaaaaaaay off on others. I know this because the prescription people apply to me is so varied in accuracy. Even when people know me, they can be completely wrong.
Written communication is a potential minefield, but I love it too. "
Lack of intonation causes wars
I often wonder if I come across as a sarky, facetious bitch on here
When really I'm a big fluffy kitten |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I'm guilty of drawing inferences from people's previous posts content.
There's a poster on here I always interpret as arrogant, when perhaps the words could be read differently. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I think I'm guilty of drawing inferences from people's previous posts content.
There's a poster on here I always interpret as arrogant, when perhaps the words could be read differently. "
No, you’re right. I am arrogant  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m always fascinated by the inferences we place on people’s written words. You know, where we decide if they’re joking or teasing or being provocative or are upset or angry or bitter.
It’s interesting because I guesstimate tone/emotion probably bang on sometimes and probably waaaaaaaay off on others. I know this because the prescription people apply to me is so varied in accuracy. Even when people know me, they can be completely wrong.
Written communication is a potential minefield, but I love it too.
Lack of intonation causes wars
I often wonder if I come across as a sarky, facetious bitch on here
When really I'm a big fluffy kitten"
Miaow!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" I think I'm guilty of drawing inferences from people's previous posts content.
There's a poster on here I always interpret as arrogant, when perhaps the words could be read differently. "
So true! I’m as guilty. Hell, we can all misinterpret intent in face to face comms, so no wonder we do it in written without all the additional cues (despite the cues not always being accurate anyhow).
And people are also allowed to have different personas at different times, with different people and on different topics. There’s a poster on here that I know if they sat down and talked and listened to me without what I can only describe as “an already listening filter” (a predetermined judgement of my intent that skews how they hear me) then the irony is they would realise our viewpoints are not that far off, just operating from different personal experiences of the topic!! It’s laughable! But you know, I choose who I want to do emotional labour for in life and who I don’t. And I’m certainly not perfect either.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's so easy to take written words out of context of the original tone.
Now you don't know if I am being matter-of-fact, sarcastic, or angry :p"
I don’t. Which were you being? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Emojis definitely help and their inclusion can alter the entire tone of the text.
So easy to be misinterpreted when communicating through text only."
They can sometimes cause more harm though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" I think I'm guilty of drawing inferences from people's previous posts content.
There's a poster on here I always interpret as arrogant, when perhaps the words could be read differently.
No, you’re right. I am arrogant "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The first emoji was a smiley face so it could be used to ensure that the reader knew that it was meant to be a joke.
Which emoji? Which post?.
Not on here but in the real world. "
I thought it started with the heart emoji actually. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think I'd had to agree to an extent....though I pretty good at reading between the lines and in general day to day reading on conversations.
 "
And how do you fact check your accuracy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thats what emojiis are for
They do help enormously!
They do  "
It's easy to hide a barbed comment behind a or
Nice tits for example. Someone once told me that the can mean so many things. They may have just been him though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thats what emojiis are for
They do help enormously!
They do
It's easy to hide a barbed comment behind a or
Nice tits for example. Someone once told me that the can mean so many things. They may have just been him though."
Awww DJ x |
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Written communication will always be open to more interpretation as it misses out on some essentials. There is no tone, inflection, pitch or volume to the voice, there is also no supporting body language.
When this is added to the ping pong nature of written communication with people you don't know, it can be a minefield.
Written communication also loses clarity over the spoken word. Usually because people tend to be briefer and subconsciously assume that the reader will understand the writers message and fill in the gaps. |
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Emojis are for people who struggle to communicate. That includes the reader/viewer of written communication.
Written communication skills, including spelling, punctuation and grammar are at a considerable premium in these times. Users of this website will not find this difficult to recognise.
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"Emojis are for people who struggle to communicate. That includes the reader/viewer of written communication.
Written communication skills, including spelling, punctuation and grammar are at a considerable premium in these times. Users of this website will not find this difficult to recognise.
"
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I think we all do it at times - and it's even word if your mind works analytically and you have a tendency to over think things - especially when you read a response to something you've said and immediately feel a need to go back with something along the lines of "You may have misunderstood me...." followed by a long drawn out explanation of what you had originally said!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Written communication will always be open to more interpretation as it misses out on some essentials. There is no tone, inflection, pitch or volume to the voice, there is also no supporting body language.
When this is added to the ping pong nature of written communication with people you don't know, it can be a minefield.
Written communication also loses clarity over the spoken word. Usually because people tend to be briefer and subconsciously assume that the reader will understand the writers message and fill in the gaps. "
I agree, although with your last paragraph I’d insert that this is in an online forum/message arena, and not all written comms, as written communication can actually be more clear than spoken sometimes — in terms of permanence allowing review to ensure read correctly (versus what did I hear?) and the effort/time put in to find the exact words used eg. a researched article or report or a book. Although not all. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I post something I think is humerus i’ll add an
If I post something I think is going to sound sarcastic it’s a  something I don’t agree with or question is a  , so you can use them to show what you mean but I suppose they are still open to interpretation and indeed for passive aggressive purposes too  "
Only your ‘armful words get the then?
I’m joking  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Emojis are for people who struggle to communicate. That includes the reader/viewer of written communication.
Written communication skills, including spelling, punctuation and grammar are at a considerable premium in these times. Users of this website will not find this difficult to recognise.
"
I think you need to be able to utilise different styles of communication though. Emojis, whether you’re a fan or not, are commonplace in this form of written comms these days.
I think your comment could be viewed as overly reductionist, when you make it an absolute. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don’t see the need for a smiley face when you can just use a lol to add emotion
Lmao pto rvsp rip
Is that right?
Yep how pdq of you "
Amrmsmemhmomlme! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think we all do it at times - and it's even word if your mind works analytically and you have a tendency to over think things - especially when you read a response to something you've said and immediately feel a need to go back with something along the lines of "You may have misunderstood me...." followed by a long drawn out explanation of what you had originally said!!"
Word! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think written communication can be both better and worse than spoken communication - but it depends on the type of written communication.
For example, I think articles and scholarly publications can be great because they allow people to be precise and really think about what they are saying, with references, footnotes, and research. But then, there's also texts and, dare I say it, internet forums, where we can have all the downsides of spoken communication (lack of research, little precision, etc) with the addition of a lack of emotional signalling, timing, and other downfalls of written communication. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think written communication can be both better and worse than spoken communication - but it depends on the type of written communication.
For example, I think articles and scholarly publications can be great because they allow people to be precise and really think about what they are saying, with references, footnotes, and research. But then, there's also texts and, dare I say it, internet forums, where we can have all the downsides of spoken communication (lack of research, little precision, etc) with the addition of a lack of emotional signalling, timing, and other downfalls of written communication."
Absolutely agree.
(Emotionally signalling my love and agreement right now, it’s manifesting in the form of dance) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I think I'm guilty of drawing inferences from people's previous posts content.
There's a poster on here I always interpret as arrogant, when perhaps the words could be read differently.
No, you’re right. I am arrogant "
oh sorry make that 2  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
You already know how crappy I am at understanding intent at times OP. I try to remember now to actually ask for clarification if I'm uncertain - some things are too unclear and I don't want to give a negative narrative to someone's post when there's no valid reason to do so.
I find that even when I actually type 'this is what I meant by x, y and z' a few will challenge it and tell me I meant otherwise. If they have a set perception of what you are like, they are more likely to view all your posts as being that way. |
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"I’m always fascinated by the inferences we place on people’s written words. You know, where we decide if they’re joking or teasing or being provocative or are upset or angry or bitter.
It’s interesting because I guesstimate tone/emotion probably bang on sometimes and probably waaaaaaaay off on others. I know this because the prescription people apply to me is so varied in accuracy. Even when people know me, they can be completely wrong.
Written communication is a potential minefield, but I love it too. "
Thanks very similar to your thread the other week, about questioning people's intentions, missunderstandings (which I misunderstood ironically) all down to the written word as we try to work out it's context and meaning without seeing facial expressions and hearing tone of voice.
Again I'll say...
The written word is the greatest form of (mis)communication. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think written communication can be both better and worse than spoken communication - but it depends on the type of written communication.
For example, I think articles and scholarly publications can be great because they allow people to be precise and really think about what they are saying, with references, footnotes, and research. But then, there's also texts and, dare I say it, internet forums, where we can have all the downsides of spoken communication (lack of research, little precision, etc) with the addition of a lack of emotional signalling, timing, and other downfalls of written communication.
Absolutely agree.
(Emotionally signalling my love and agreement right now, it’s manifesting in the form of dance)"
I approve of anything that manifests itself in the form of dance....carry on.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You already know how crappy I am at understanding intent at times OP. I try to remember now to actually ask for clarification if I'm uncertain - some things are too unclear and I don't want to give a negative narrative to someone's post when there's no valid reason to do so.
I find that even when I actually type 'this is what I meant by x, y and z' a few will challenge it and tell me I meant otherwise. If they have a set perception of what you are like, they are more likely to view all your posts as being that way. "
That’s incredibly true, Meli — sometimes it’s not even about you and failing to grasp or accept your intent (I mean anyone could be the person they refute, not just you) as they’re actually just needing to play out something for themselves and you’ve become the person that they do that at. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m always fascinated by the inferences we place on people’s written words. You know, where we decide if they’re joking or teasing or being provocative or are upset or angry or bitter.
It’s interesting because I guesstimate tone/emotion probably bang on sometimes and probably waaaaaaaay off on others. I know this because the prescription people apply to me is so varied in accuracy. Even when people know me, they can be completely wrong.
Written communication is a potential minefield, but I love it too.
Thanks very similar to your thread the other week, about questioning people's intentions, missunderstandings (which I misunderstood ironically) all down to the written word as we try to work out it's context and meaning without seeing facial expressions and hearing tone of voice.
Again I'll say...
The written word is the greatest form of (mis)communication."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words.
Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us.
And smiley faces |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words.
Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us.
And smiley faces "
I think it’s more 55% bl, 38% tone and 7% words. Tone is more important than people imagine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words.
Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us.
And smiley faces
I think it’s more 55% bl, 38% tone and 7% words. Tone is more important than people imagine. "
I'll ceed to those numbers, when I think about how we talk to babies and animals, there's an awful lot of communication through tone.
Isn't there "my little cuddly chops" for instance needs to be said in a certain tone, otherwise it would be quite weird. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words.
Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us.
And smiley faces
I think it’s more 55% bl, 38% tone and 7% words. Tone is more important than people imagine.
I'll ceed to those numbers, when I think about how we talk to babies and animals, there's an awful lot of communication through tone.
Isn't there "my little cuddly chops" for instance needs to be said in a certain tone, otherwise it would be quite weird. "
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"Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words.
Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us.
And smiley faces
I think it’s more 55% bl, 38% tone and 7% words. Tone is more important than people imagine. "
Had a very difficult meeting with someone yesterday. Not fab related. I could feel my body change as the time got closer.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words.
Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us.
And smiley faces
I think it’s more 55% bl, 38% tone and 7% words. Tone is more important than people imagine.
Had a very difficult meeting with someone yesterday. Not fab related. I could feel my body change as the time got closer. "
Did it go okay in the end? |
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"Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words.
Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us.
And smiley faces
I think it’s more 55% bl, 38% tone and 7% words. Tone is more important than people imagine.
Had a very difficult meeting with someone yesterday. Not fab related. I could feel my body change as the time got closer.
Did it go okay in the end?"
Yes pretty much. A smile from them as they entered the room made things so much better. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words.
Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us.
And smiley faces
I think it’s more 55% bl, 38% tone and 7% words. Tone is more important than people imagine.
Had a very difficult meeting with someone yesterday. Not fab related. I could feel my body change as the time got closer.
Did it go okay in the end?
Yes pretty much. A smile from them as they entered the room made things so much better. "
Hurrah! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So based on the percentages above, what about talking on the telephone when no one can see you? Surely the weighting will shift ..."
Undoubtedly it does. The % above are purely based on face to face comms and it’s often used as interview prep training.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us introverts, the ‘shy’ people, verbal communication can be very difficult in a lot of situations especially with people we don’t know.
Written communication then becomes key and preferred. I love to communicate through messages be it here or elsewhere. This is more important when I’m not as comfortable with someone yet but want to get to know them. It then takes time, usually, to build that trust.
If I am spending months getting to know someone then we will be messaging a lot usually. I’d hope that we would know each other quite well so that if we did then meet, we’d know what each other wants.
Getting the write level of tone and content can be a tricky thing to balance and I don’t want the other person getting the wrong end of the stick. One or both of us could end up feeling unhappy if I don’t get the messaging right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words.
Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us.
And smiley faces
I think it’s more 55% bl, 38% tone and 7% words. Tone is more important than people imagine.
I'll ceed to those numbers, when I think about how we talk to babies and animals, there's an awful lot of communication through tone.
Isn't there "my little cuddly chops" for instance needs to be said in a certain tone, otherwise it would be quite weird. "
Apparently using it in a work email is unprofessional.  |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"For us introverts, the ‘shy’ people, verbal communication can be very difficult in a lot of situations especially with people we don’t know.
Written communication then becomes key and preferred. I love to communicate through messages be it here or elsewhere. This is more important when I’m not as comfortable with someone yet but want to get to know them. It then takes time, usually, to build that trust.
If I am spending months getting to know someone then we will be messaging a lot usually. I’d hope that we would know each other quite well so that if we did then meet, we’d know what each other wants.
Getting the write level of tone and content can be a tricky thing to balance and I don’t want the other person getting the wrong end of the stick. One or both of us could end up feeling unhappy if I don’t get the messaging right."
Not all of us are verbally confident. I am, however, confident in my thoughts and can often be more comfortable expressing those through the written word. At first, anyway. I also don't mind a companionable silence with someone similar to me, especially when the wry smile you share acknowledges understanding of mutual shyness without words having to be exchanged. Non verbal communication, be it written, body language or facial expressions can be every bit as important and using emojis doesn't mean I lack written communication skills, not if the medium lends itself to their use and it helps clarify meaning and/or intent. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I confess to sometimes intentionally posting things in a way which means it's not clear how they should be taken, an emoji would make it obvious but I don't use one just for my own entertainment really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's obvious how difficult it is even with emojis, by reading threads on here and the misunderstandings that happen. One person can read something one way and someone else a totally different way. Even when I write something one way and read it back it can seem totally different to my intent . I have to read everything through loads of times to check and then you loose the spontaneity of what you wanted to say (I'm surprised this ramble got through) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I confess to sometimes intentionally posting things in a way which means it's not clear how they should be taken, an emoji would make it obvious but I don't use one just for my own entertainment really."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I confess to sometimes intentionally posting things in a way which means it's not clear how they should be taken, an emoji would make it obvious but I don't use one just for my own entertainment really."
You devil. Wouldn't catch me doing that. |
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One of the reasons that I don't do extensive chains of text messages that aren't interrupted by voice chat, as written communication - especially if brief - loses much of the potential for greater understanding and connection between people.
In contrast, expertly crafted writing can be bliss, with phenomenal power to enable crystal clear understanding. It's just that our everyday texts are more like notes written in a hurry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m a big texter/written communicator but there are some types of conversation that I would rather have in person.
I find now that I have more conversation at work to avoid issues with (mis) interpretation of emails etc. Or I’ll have the initial conversation face to face and then confirm the discussion via email. |
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"For us introverts, the ‘shy’ people, verbal communication can be very difficult in a lot of situations especially with people we don’t know.
Written communication then becomes key and preferred. I love to communicate through messages be it here or elsewhere. This is more important when I’m not as comfortable with someone yet but want to get to know them. It then takes time, usually, to build that trust.
If I am spending months getting to know someone then we will be messaging a lot usually. I’d hope that we would know each other quite well so that if we did then meet, we’d know what each other wants.
Getting the write level of tone and content can be a tricky thing to balance and I don’t want the other person getting the wrong end of the stick. One or both of us could end up feeling unhappy if I don’t get the messaging right."
Knowing what you both want when you meet is so important and can make meeting much more fulfilling. Lack of good communication before meeting is a recipe for disaster |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My written communication is often incomprehensible nonsense - it’s a wonder anyone ever understands it. I don’t understand why I wrote what I wrote most of the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We were having this discussion the other day. The problem with written/text communication these days is we need everything to be easyier,quicker and less time consuming, the problem with that we tend to seperate any emotion from communication with a text.
The ironic thing is we send 20 texts to communicate a conversation that would have taken a 30 seconds on the phone. |
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"One of the reasons that I don't do extensive chains of text messages that aren't interrupted by voice chat, as written communication - especially if brief - loses much of the potential for greater understanding and connection between people.
In contrast, expertly crafted writing can be bliss, with phenomenal power to enable crystal clear understanding. It's just that our everyday texts are more like notes written in a hurry."
Before the days of limitless minutes, I used to use whatsapp voice messaging to have long conversations...I really enjoyed using them, I rather miss it as a medium, you can think about each reply carefully! |
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