FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Are you a vindictive person?
Are you a vindictive person?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Normally, if someone has wronged me, I would say my piece or do whatever I could to make sure that person knows he/she is in the wrong, then walk away with my head held high, as I believe what goes round, comes around.
However, the devil/imp in me has been known to be vindictive on rare occasions.    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends... I can be very if I want to be..but its not something my Master encourages...
I have been known to wait years for the chance to be vindictive.. 
But I do prefer to let them think its not even bothered me.. as that is sometimes the very best revenge.
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd like to think I am not vindictive and believe I am because unfortunately I have broad shoulders which means I'll never be able to get in a size 14 dress, bawls uncontrollably  "
Revenge is a dish best served cold. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No I'm not really. That's not to say that I couldn't be, but it would have to be something major for me to be vindictive, and that would be something to drastically hurt me or certainly hurt my kids.
If it was someone on here that I wasn't keen on for example, then I wouldn't be vindictive cos its only swinging so that doesn't warrant it. No matter what disagreements I may have had on the site, I'd be sympathetic to anyones problems.
I honestly can say that if someone was in trouble I wouldn't take any pleasure out of that. But if it was someone who had say assaulted me or caused me real harm or who had hurt my children then I'd have a different outlook.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Life is too short to be overly vindictive. What seems like a terrible "crime" against today, will be forgotton in a year or so. So no, I don't carry things over.
Of course the best way to wind people up is to forget that they exist  |
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I think that if someone wronged you in private thats how it should stay, private.
I don't wash my dirty laundry in public.
Some people take great pleasure in humiliation, but sometimes it does come round and bite them firmly on the bum.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not vindictive in that I would go sneaking around trying to take revenge surreptitiously.
If someone has wronged me, I have no issue in taking the person to account face to face and voicing my displeasure.
By the same token, if someone has crossed me, they can forget second chances.
I can cut off quite easily and have been accused of being 'cold' towards people who have abused my friendship and trust.
But with people who, in terms of friendship and trust, are open and honest (even when sometimes their honesty is hard to take), they will always have total loyalty in my friendship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Normally, if someone has wronged me, I would say my piece or do whatever I could to make sure that person knows he/she is in the wrong, then walk away with my head held high, as I believe what goes round, comes around.
However, the devil/imp in me has been known to be vindictive on rare occasions. "
usually im not yet with a text i had last night makes me want to be vindictive and completely kill the twat |
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Yes and No.
The vast majority of things I forget before the paint has dried, but I do have a pet hate which is my line of weakness when it comes to tolerance. Once that line is crossed I seldom forgive or forget.
Disagree with me, argue with me, call me names, whatever… what do I care what you think.
Lie about me to someone else…. that’s the line crossed.
Would I take pleasure from hearing some form of bad news about someone who had crossed that line… yep.
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
Gosh! I ain't got time to be vindictive! Of course if someone who did something to me gets payback, so much the better, but I wouldn't bother. Karma is a wonderful thing.
I don't intentionally upset other people, in fact although I can put a case quite forcefully, I am always prepared to listen too. BUT.. A few times I have stated my views about some subject and have ended up in hot water! It does kinda make you wonder if you should get in first! Lol
Even on here, when I have put something on this forum that others haven’t liked, I have had mail being really quite nasty! Should I report? Nah! I have broad shoulders. (can’t fit a size 14 either!! Lol) and while they are raggin me, perhaps they will leave others alone.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes you dont have to do much...
The others meanwhile carry on making snide comments and parade their petty jealousies which show everyone else the sort of person you really are.
Showing the world and his wife the lack of obvious maturity and playground mentality.
Job done
hence a dish best served cold  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I think that if someone wronged you in private thats how it should stay, private.
I don't wash my dirty laundry in public.
Some people take great pleasure in humiliation, but sometimes it does come round and bite them firmly on the bum.
"
Agree with you and Iconic and few others who said they were not vindictive. Life is too short for that and it would cost MY energy and time to be vindictive. I would rather seek peace with whoever, and if that's not possible I would forgive and forget and avoid a repeat in future. That's just me.. And....
...
....
Didn't know Petillante was wearing underwear...;-) |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Yes and No.
The vast majority of things I forget before the paint has dried, but I do have a pet hate which is my line of weakness when it comes to tolerance. Once that line is crossed I seldom forgive or forget.
Disagree with me, argue with me, call me names, whatever… what do I care what you think.
Lie about me to someone else…. that’s the line crossed.
Would I take pleasure from hearing some form of bad news about someone who had crossed that line… yep.
"
I think it depends what's, been said and done, but for the majority of the time im in full agreement with you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone said something about me, say a lie about me and that lie had dire consequences then I might be vindictive ie, if someone told your employer you were a thief and you never got promotion, even tho it was a lie. That would be cause for possibly feeling happy if they got their comeuppance.
On a swinging site tho, no not at all. It doesn't warrant it. People can say what lies they like, does it really matter. Swinging is not important. Its a free site so you've got the potential for anything. You don't really know who you're talking to, it could be someone with 10 other profiles, each contacting youd talking about the others. So therefore take anything you hear with a pinch of salt.
Its nsa, therefore I take that to mean not just the people we are playing with, but the links we form under the large umbrella of swinging.
Is anyone on here worth laughing about any misfortune they have. I don't think so. Take everything as fantasy
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"
Is anyone on here worth laughing about any misfortune they have. I don't think so. Take everything as fantasy
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Is anyone they show on 'You've Been Framed' worth laughing at for the misfortune they have?
Oops yeah, it could be worth £250.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes and No.
The vast majority of things I forget before the paint has dried, but I do have a pet hate which is my line of weakness when it comes to tolerance. Once that line is crossed I seldom forgive or forget.
Disagree with me, argue with me, call me names, whatever… what do I care what you think.
Lie about me to someone else…. that’s the line crossed.
Would I take pleasure from hearing some form of bad news about someone who had crossed that line… yep.
I think it depends what's, been said and done, but for the majority of the time im in full agreement with you "
I have a habit of laughing, really annoys some. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Normally, if someone has wronged me, I would say my piece or do whatever I could to make sure that person knows he/she is in the wrong, then walk away with my head held high, as I believe what goes round, comes around.
However, the devil/imp in me has been known to be vindictive on rare occasions. "
I might have a bit of revenge now and then but normally cant be bothered. I do find it funny hearing how some people get revenge though. Some are so inventive and funny. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally it takes a lot to even upset me, water of a ducks back, but if i do take offence i never get vindictive, life is to short, to hold a grudge.
This is a generalisation though and on a rare occasion i have taken offence it has taken a long time to forgive, i usually give second chances but rarely a third.
And those who consistently mistreat others usually end up friendless and distrusted so life gives them what they deal out in the end.
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I think there is a difference between seeking revenge and being vindictive…. not that one is any better than the other, but I am far too lazy to actually go and seek revenge, it sounds like far too much effort. Being vindictive from time to time is far less demanding. |
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By *eaboMan
over a year ago
marden |
no, not vindictive at all, its far too much hassle for me. I will say my piece, row, remonstrate, shout, wave my arms in the air and then thats the end of it as far as i am concerned. Life is far too short for grudges. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot has been said about a vindictive streak coming out if they were really seriously wronged.
In my experience vindictive behaviour is usually over petty things. I think really wronged people are in such a state of shock and disappointment that they go within themselves and vindictiveness or revenge is the last thing on their minds because they are busy trying to come to terms with what has happened.
I watched the docu Someone's Daughter Someone's Son and the parents and siblings of murdered children were so overwhelmed with grief they could hardly function and showed very few traits of wanting revenge most just wanted inner peace, which they were never going to get. I heard no talk of come uppance either.
If you are basically a good loving honest person you will not suddenly become vindictive because of a huge life change. People are either vindictive or they're not. It's not a trait that changes with circumstances in my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that's very true Jech, vindictiveness is either in your make up or it isn't. I don't find other peoples misfortune funny at all, even if previously they might have said something uncomplimentary about me.
I'm quite glad I'm not vindictive, its a character trait I would not wish to have, |
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Oops, I almost forgot.... if someone does something nasty and spiteful to a (RL) friend. I actually think I am more inclined to be vindictive about what people do to others I care about than what they do to me. I am a bit protective that way.
However, I'll cut a friend off in the blink of an eye if I find out they fed me bullshit in that sort of situation. |
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"A lot has been said about a vindictive streak coming out if they were really seriously wronged.
In my experience vindictive behaviour is usually over petty things. I think really wronged people are in such a state of shock and disappointment that they go within themselves and vindictiveness or revenge is the last thing on their minds because they are busy trying to come to terms with what has happened.
I watched the docu Someone's Daughter Someone's Son and the parents and siblings of murdered children were so overwhelmed with grief they could hardly function and showed very few traits of wanting revenge most just wanted inner peace, which they were never going to get. I heard no talk of come uppance either.
If you are basically a good loving honest person you will not suddenly become vindictive because of a huge life change. People are either vindictive or they're not. It's not a trait that changes with circumstances in my opinion."
I am confused.
You start your post by implying circumstances do have an impact on how a person reacts " ...vindictiveness or revenge is the last thing on their minds because they are busy trying to come to terms with what has happened" ... and then end stating the circumstances don't and people either have the trait or they don't.
Me... I believe a good percentage of the population are grudge barers by nature.... if psychometrics are anything to go by. EI then comes into play as to how quickly and how often they are prepared to let that side of them run free.
I take with a pinch of salt the number of people who claim to be totally grudge free..... especially when the rest of the psychometrics don't match up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot has been said about a vindictive streak coming out if they were really seriously wronged.
In my experience vindictive behaviour is usually over petty things. I think really wronged people are in such a state of shock and disappointment that they go within themselves and vindictiveness or revenge is the last thing on their minds because they are busy trying to come to terms with what has happened.
I watched the docu Someone's Daughter Someone's Son and the parents and siblings of murdered children were so overwhelmed with grief they could hardly function and showed very few traits of wanting revenge most just wanted inner peace, which they were never going to get. I heard no talk of come uppance either.
If you are basically a good loving honest person you will not suddenly become vindictive because of a huge life change. People are either vindictive or they're not. It's not a trait that changes with circumstances in my opinion."
Good point i reckon its definitely a part of someone's character rather than circumstance, just sometimes circumstance triggers the behaviour or is used as an excuse, i am certainly more inclined to get introspective when wronged, and any ill will is usually out of some desire for them to understand the ramifications of their actions, which is mostly pointless if they lack any real empathy.
Always better to let it go and move on where possible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot has been said about a vindictive streak coming out if they were really seriously wronged.
In my experience vindictive behaviour is usually over petty things. I think really wronged people are in such a state of shock and disappointment that they go within themselves and vindictiveness or revenge is the last thing on their minds because they are busy trying to come to terms with what has happened.
I watched the docu Someone's Daughter Someone's Son and the parents and siblings of murdered children were so overwhelmed with grief they could hardly function and showed very few traits of wanting revenge most just wanted inner peace, which they were never going to get. I heard no talk of come uppance either.
If you are basically a good loving honest person you will not suddenly become vindictive because of a huge life change. People are either vindictive or they're not. It's not a trait that changes with circumstances in my opinion.
Good point i reckon its definitely a part of someone's character rather than circumstance, just sometimes circumstance triggers the behaviour or is used as an excuse, i am certainly more inclined to get introspective when wronged, and any ill will is usually out of some desire for them to understand the ramifications of their actions, which is mostly pointless if they lack any real empathy.
Always better to let it go and move on where possible. "
No people bite when annoyed enough. Its like turning the other cheek thing. If people get annoyed they lash out if they have the balls to do so.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot has been said about a vindictive streak coming out if they were really seriously wronged.
In my experience vindictive behaviour is usually over petty things. I think really wronged people are in such a state of shock and disappointment that they go within themselves and vindictiveness or revenge is the last thing on their minds because they are busy trying to come to terms with what has happened.
I watched the docu Someone's Daughter Someone's Son and the parents and siblings of murdered children were so overwhelmed with grief they could hardly function and showed very few traits of wanting revenge most just wanted inner peace, which they were never going to get. I heard no talk of come uppance either.
If you are basically a good loving honest person you will not suddenly become vindictive because of a huge life change. People are either vindictive or they're not. It's not a trait that changes with circumstances in my opinion.
Good point i reckon its definitely a part of someone's character rather than circumstance, just sometimes circumstance triggers the behaviour or is used as an excuse, i am certainly more inclined to get introspective when wronged, and any ill will is usually out of some desire for them to understand the ramifications of their actions, which is mostly pointless if they lack any real empathy.
Always better to let it go and move on where possible.
No people bite when annoyed enough. Its like turning the other cheek thing. If people get annoyed they lash out if they have the balls to do so. "
True but reacting in retaliation is not the same as being vindictive. That is more reactive than premeditated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot has been said about a vindictive streak coming out if they were really seriously wronged.
In my experience vindictive behaviour is usually over petty things. I think really wronged people are in such a state of shock and disappointment that they go within themselves and vindictiveness or revenge is the last thing on their minds because they are busy trying to come to terms with what has happened.
I watched the docu Someone's Daughter Someone's Son and the parents and siblings of murdered children were so overwhelmed with grief they could hardly function and showed very few traits of wanting revenge most just wanted inner peace, which they were never going to get. I heard no talk of come uppance either.
If you are basically a good loving honest person you will not suddenly become vindictive because of a huge life change. People are either vindictive or they're not. It's not a trait that changes with circumstances in my opinion.
Good point i reckon its definitely a part of someone's character rather than circumstance, just sometimes circumstance triggers the behaviour or is used as an excuse, i am certainly more inclined to get introspective when wronged, and any ill will is usually out of some desire for them to understand the ramifications of their actions, which is mostly pointless if they lack any real empathy.
Always better to let it go and move on where possible.
No people bite when annoyed enough. Its like turning the other cheek thing. If people get annoyed they lash out if they have the balls to do so.
True but reacting in retaliation is not the same as being vindictive. That is more reactive than premeditated."
Someone pisses me off and i give them a swiftie toe poker in the albert halls they don't care if its reactive, vindictive, aggressive or psychotic they have a pair of aches and are in pain what ever you want to call it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can be, more when it comes to family and friends, im too thick skinned for peoples actions/comments towards my self bother me to the extent that i would want to be vindictive. Water of a ducks back as they say.
I must say iv found some reply's on this thread interesting and quite funny, a very strong smell of shit around here me thinks.
kat |
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Kiss me and I will kiss you back with greater passion... is that vindictive?
Punch me in the gob and I will punch you back 'with greater passion' Is that vindictive?
Con me out of money and it will cost you twice as much... is that vindictive?
We used to have the neighbours from hell living next door, tried to terrorise us and make our lives a misery for 5 years. We did absolutely nothing, which seemed to enrage them all the more... is that vindictive?
Other neighbours would say "You must hate them!" and "Bet you want to kill them!" My answer to that was, "I do not suffer from the emotion called hate and I do not wish to hurt them, they are doing enough of that to themselves"... is that vindictive?
Am I vindictive? No, I don't think so but I do like to keep things in balance
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