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I sometimes feel I've accidentally stumbled into Bible class on here.
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By *olgateMan
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
AH HAVE SINNED!!!!
In my best tv preacher voice
PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY FO MAH BLESSING
please leave your credit card details not forgetting the security code.
Terms and conditions apply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bible Class?
Are we yanks now?
Make up your mind Jimi, you were wanting people to read more a minute ago... 
It's not "bible Class" here, it's "Sunday School".  "
I could benefit from more teaching by your mother tongue.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bible Class?
Are we yanks now?
Make up your mind Jimi, you were wanting people to read more a minute ago...
It's not "bible Class" here, it's "Sunday School".
I could benefit from more teaching by your mother tongue. "
Mother. Not mother's. Jim's mum is enough for me.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Bible Class?
Are we yanks now?
Make up your mind Jimi, you were wanting people to read more a minute ago...
It's not "bible Class" here, it's "Sunday School". "
We ain't 5 any more Jim. 
(although some of us act it) |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening. Any clothing or leather that has semen on it must be washed with water, and it will be unclean till evening. When a man has sexual relations with a woman and there is an emission of semen, both of them must bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening."
So, after daytime sex shower, stay indoors and don't touch anything and it'll be all fine again by the evening. That's my bible study for the day done. Phew! |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
We don't have "Bible Class" in the UK, despite of our age. Apart from anything else, it's not how we word things. See also: Bible Study.
There is also the slight aside that "Bible Study" is possibly an oxymoron... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening. Any clothing or leather that has semen on it must be washed with water, and it will be unclean till evening. When a man has sexual relations with a woman and there is an emission of semen, both of them must bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening."
So, after daytime sex shower, stay indoors and don't touch anything and it'll be all fine again by the evening. That's my bible study for the day done. Phew!"
But if there are sexual relations and NO semen...then what? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always liked this one, Liggy:
Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread abroad. Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits. (Song of Songs 4:16) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We don't have "Bible Class" in the UK, despite of our age. Apart from anything else, it's not how we word things. See also: Bible Study.
There is also the slight aside that "Bible Study" is possibly an oxymoron..."
Are you fucking preaching Jim?
Are you?
This is not " Sunday School" you know |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always liked this one, Liggy:
Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread abroad. Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits. (Song of Songs 4:16)"
Now if that don't condone infidelity |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening. Any clothing or leather that has semen on it must be washed with water, and it will be unclean till evening. When a man has sexual relations with a woman and there is an emission of semen, both of them must bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening."
So, after daytime sex shower, stay indoors and don't touch anything and it'll be all fine again by the evening. That's my bible study for the day done. Phew!
But if there are sexual relations and NO semen...then what?"
And, what if it is evening? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always liked this one, Liggy:
Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread abroad. Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits. (Song of Songs 4:16)
Now if that don't condone infidelity "
It's all about the scrumpy-pumpy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always liked this one, Liggy:
Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread abroad. Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits. (Song of Songs 4:16)
Now if that don't condone infidelity
It's all about the scrumpy-pumpy. "
Utter filth that bible is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always liked this one, Liggy:
Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread abroad. Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits. (Song of Songs 4:16)
Now if that don't condone infidelity
It's all about the scrumpy-pumpy.
Utter filth that bible is. "
This one takes it too far for me though....
My beloved put his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him. (Song of Songs 5:4) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always liked this one, Liggy:
Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread abroad. Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits. (Song of Songs 4:16)
Now if that don't condone infidelity
It's all about the scrumpy-pumpy.
Utter filth that bible is.
This one takes it too far for me though....
My beloved put his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him. (Song of Songs 5:4)"
There's something to be said about a good bowel movements
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Boring Prophet; ...there shall, in that time, be *rumors* of things going astray, errrm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things wi - with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock. Yea, it is written in the book of Cyril... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Boring Prophet; ...there shall, in that time, be *rumors* of things going astray, errrm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things wi - with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock. Yea, it is written in the book of Cyril..."
That sounds very Pythonesque. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
This one takes it too far for me though....
My beloved put his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him. (Song of Songs 5:4)"
Poohing through the hole of a door into someone's hand ... ewwww  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Boring Prophet; ...there shall, in that time, be *rumors* of things going astray, errrm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things wi - with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock. Yea, it is written in the book of Cyril...
That sounds very Pythonesque. "
Nooooo, straight out of the old testament is that  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Boring Prophet; ...there shall, in that time, be *rumors* of things going astray, errrm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things wi - with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock. Yea, it is written in the book of Cyril...
That sounds very Pythonesque.
Nooooo, straight out of the old testament is that "
I must have missed that class |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
This one takes it too far for me though....
My beloved put his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him. (Song of Songs 5:4)
Poohing through the hole of a door into someone's hand ... ewwww "
I think the hole of the door is a euphemism |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
This one takes it too far for me though....
My beloved put his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him. (Song of Songs 5:4)
Poohing through the hole of a door into someone's hand ... ewwww
I think the hole of the door is a euphemism "
Probably a crap translation from the original language. They meant to write cunt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
This one takes it too far for me though....
My beloved put his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him. (Song of Songs 5:4)
Poohing through the hole of a door into someone's hand ... ewwww
I think the hole of the door is a euphemism
Probably a crap translation from the original language. They meant to write cunt. "
|
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity."
So, it's OK to break up a fight as long as you don't grab someone by the cock in the process. I think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity."
So, it's OK to break up a fight as long as you don't grab someone by the cock in the process. I think."
*nods thoughtfully* fair enough, good explanation |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity."
So, it's OK to break up a fight as long as you don't grab someone by the cock in the process. I think."
We can grab him by the throat. Or stick a finger up his bum. But don't touch the danglers. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Matthew 5:28 “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
"
I totally get that one. |
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By *arksMan
over a year ago
in the centre |
""If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity."
So, it's OK to break up a fight as long as you don't grab someone by the cock in the process. I think."
Surely she's just trying to cop a sneaky feel while her fella is getting a slap , taking advantage of a bad situation , filthy mare |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"[Removed by poster at 26/10/17 00:47:42]
Sod it. I'm not going to say the truth. 
DO.
IT!"
It's disappointingly tame and rather sweet. I prefer to start some coprophilic rumours. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"[Removed by poster at 26/10/17 00:47:42]
Sod it. I'm not going to say the truth.
DO.
IT!
It's disappointingly tame and rather sweet. I prefer to start some coprophilic rumours. "
We'll that's shit
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"[Removed by poster at 26/10/17 00:47:42]
Sod it. I'm not going to say the truth.
DO.
IT!
It's disappointingly tame and rather sweet. I prefer to start some coprophilic rumours.
"
Referring to the bible quote! |
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By *arksMan
over a year ago
in the centre |
"[Removed by poster at 26/10/17 00:47:42]
Sod it. I'm not going to say the truth.
DO.
IT!
It's disappointingly tame and rather sweet. I prefer to start some coprophilic rumours.
Referring to the bible quote! "
oh  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...on your knees!, and pray for forgiveness
If it's forgiveness you are seeking...
Sister LisaB  "
When's the collection box coming round so we can all go home |
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