FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Thanks but not interested
Thanks but not interested
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I think fab should introduce an automatic reply button to press that sends a message saying thanks but not interested. Far better than just being rude and deleting messages and not replying. No wonder people get irritated by others on here. Thoughts fab? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Source: FAQs
Q:There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!
A:It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Can I refer the learned gentleman to the 1379 other threads this year on the subject.
No reply is not considered rude round here per the site FAQs and should be taken as a "thanks not interested" - the problem with actual replies in that vein is some are then encouraged to send messages asking for reasons for the lack of interest. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've found that even when you do reply with a 'no thanks' you get the;
"but why?"
"You won't be disappointed"
"I see you've read my message, are you not interested?"
"Well?"
And it goes on...
So reply or no reply. Sometimes it makes little difference. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think fab should introduce an automatic reply button to press that sends a message saying thanks but not interested. Far better than just being rude and deleting messages and not replying. No wonder people get irritated by others on here. Thoughts fab?"
Rude? Really?
Tell you what; I’ll divert my inbox to yours and you can try replying to the 344 messages I have since yesterday.
It’s a full time job. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If they do then I'd like multiple options from a polite 'no thanks' to 'fuck off you idiot'. The latter coming with delete and block as standard. Or OP you could just assume you fall somewhere between the two versions?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Ive asked for a general reply. Some i have touched a nerve with which i cant help. Some would feel hapier with a form of response i feel. My post is by no means a way to engage in a heated debate. So ill kindly ask for you to be non verbly abusive towards me if thats how you feel your going to be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If they do then I'd like multiple options from a polite 'no thanks' to 'fuck off you idiot'. The latter coming with delete and block as standard. Or OP you could just assume you fall somewhere between the two versions? "
You're onto something there.
'No thanks, you're not what we're looking for'
'No thanks, we're/I'm not meeting men'
'No thanks, you live too far away'
'No thanks, your profile is shit and can't be arsed to waste time finding out more'
'No thanks, you're fugly'
'No thanks, you're profile is shit, and you're fugly'
'No thanks, words can't describe how little I desire to meet you'
Any more?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Half of me agrees with you Op, that mail you personally wrote was ignorantly ignored.
half of me agrees with the women that they can't personally answer every mail they get.
But, if you don't like it, don't send anyma to the women. Problem solved. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ive asked for a general reply. Some i have touched a nerve with which i cant help. Some would feel hapier with a form of response i feel. My post is by no means a way to engage in a heated debate. So ill kindly ask for you to be non verbly abusive towards me if thats how you feel your going to be. "
If you're referring to me OP I wasn't verbally abusive towards you  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think there should be an automatic button that says read the profile you fucking numpty before anyone is allowed to send a message.
"
I was trying to be diplomatic with my auto options |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've found that even when you do reply with a 'no thanks' you get the;
"but why?"
"You won't be disappointed"
"I see you've read my message, are you not interested?"
"Well?"
And it goes on...
So reply or no reply. Sometimes it makes little difference."
This |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"Ive asked for a general reply. Some i have touched a nerve with which i cant help. Some would feel hapier with a form of response i feel. My post is by no means a way to engage in a heated debate. So ill kindly ask for you to be non verbly abusive towards me if thats how you feel your going to be. "
I don't think anyone's been abusive. Oh, and you've not replied to everyone who answered you. Bit rude  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ive asked for a general reply. Some i have touched a nerve with which i cant help. Some would feel hapier with a form of response i feel. My post is by no means a way to engage in a heated debate. So ill kindly ask for you to be non verbly abusive towards me if thats how you feel your going to be. "
 there weren't any posts that were abusive towards you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago
marlow |
"Ive asked for a general reply. Some i have touched a nerve with which i cant help. Some would feel hapier with a form of response i feel. My post is by no means a way to engage in a heated debate. So ill kindly ask for you to be non verbly abusive towards me if thats how you feel your going to be. "
You asked for comments..... you got them.... you may not like them all but that’s the way it is. There is a thread everyday from men moaning that people don’t reply..... it’s getting tedious and that is probably the reason for some of the responses.
If you don’t get a reply take it as a ‘ no thanks’ and move on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
A man didn't reply to my first message last week. Shock horror! I mean does he not understand I'm that entitled unicorn of fab, the single bi fem?!! Rather than get prissy I just blocked him as he's clearly not interested, it's not rocket science and everyone's entitled to choice. And then we say 'Next!' |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Imagine reading the well executed message, browsing the sky remote comparison photos and then typing out thanks but no thanks five hundred times a day, it’s like detention only worse, if you send a message and it just gets read or deleted then move on, get over it and be thankful it’s not you with a full inbox |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think fab should introduce an automatic reply button to press that sends a message saying thanks but not interested. Far better than just being rude and deleting messages and not replying. No wonder people get irritated by others on here. Thoughts fab?"
Nah, if you delete a message without replying it blocks them automatically..  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think fab should introduce an automatic reply button to press that sends a message saying thanks but not interested. Far better than just being rude and deleting messages and not replying. No wonder people get irritated by others on here. Thoughts fab?"
I agree. It would be even better if when they delete the mail, Fab automatically sends the "sorry, not for me" email. Because lots of people wouldn't even bother pressing the button to send the "sorry.." mail.
But on the other hand- if they are rude and don't reply then at least you know you're lucky you never had to meet them.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Imagine reading the well executed message, browsing the sky remote comparison photos and then typing out thanks but no thanks five hundred times a day, it’s like detention only worse, if you send a message and it just gets read or deleted then move on, get over it and be thankful it’s not you with a full inbox"
like detention only worse |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think an option to write a personalised auto response would be a good feature.
I'd have, thanks for the message, I've had a look at your profile and pictures and although you're handsome you're not the type I go for, thanks again for the message and take care. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If they do then I'd like multiple options from a polite 'no thanks' to 'fuck off you idiot'. The latter coming with delete and block as standard. Or OP you could just assume you fall somewhere between the two versions?
You're onto something there.
'No thanks, you're not what we're looking for'
'No thanks, we're/I'm not meeting men'
'No thanks, you live too far away'
'No thanks, your profile is shit and can't be arsed to waste time finding out more'
'No thanks, you're fugly'
'No thanks, you're profile is shit, and you're fugly'
'No thanks, words can't describe how little I desire to meet you'
Any more? "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think fab should introduce an automatic reply button to press that sends a message saying thanks but not interested. Far better than just being rude and deleting messages and not replying. No wonder people get irritated by others on here. Thoughts fab?"
I do this anyways to most and you would not believe the amount of people who do not actually respect or appreciate it... I acknowledge people for acknowledging me... Which is what we all want. I state I'm not looking to interact with anyone new on my profile and people choose to disregard that which imo is kinda rude in itself... I don't want to put my filters up be side I can't see what's going on on the updates stream otherwise,.. I also don't understand why adults can't act mature and just respect other people's blatant wishes when they're trying to get their own wishes respected too??... It's hard work communicating sometimes lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Ive asked for a general reply. Some i have touched a nerve with which i cant help. Some would feel hapier with a form of response i feel. My post is by no means a way to engage in a heated debate. So ill kindly ask for you to be non verbly abusive towards me if thats how you feel your going to be. "
There has been no abusive responses can you imagine how sensitive you would then feel if you received 10 x no thanks messages
I think you should scrap that idea lol  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Genuine question, OP, which knocks your confidence more, being ignored or an inbox full of 'no's?
I'd imagine the latter would be quite crushing to some |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ive asked for a general reply. Some i have touched a nerve with which i cant help. Some would feel hapier with a form of response i feel. My post is by no means a way to engage in a heated debate. So ill kindly ask for you to be non verbly abusive towards me if thats how you feel your going to be. "
Sending any kind of reply.. automated or not.. generates a whole more messages asking why or dishing abuse.
Accept a no reply and a no reply! Whats so difficult? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Ive asked for a general reply. Some i have touched a nerve with which i cant help. Some would feel hapier with a form of response i feel. My post is by no means a way to engage in a heated debate. So ill kindly ask for you to be non verbly abusive towards me if thats how you feel your going to be.
If you're referring to me OP I wasn't verbally abusive towards you "
no one has been verbally abusive |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m all for the thanks but no thanks method.. it’s polite if nothing else, after that by all means delete at will but manners in the first instance chat not a penny |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Ive asked for a general reply. Some i have touched a nerve with which i cant help. Some would feel hapier with a form of response i feel. My post is by no means a way to engage in a heated debate. So ill kindly ask for you to be non verbly abusive towards me if thats how you feel your going to be.
I don't think anyone's been abusive. Oh, and you've not replied to everyone who answered you. Bit rude "
my thoughts exactly, nothing to complain about then. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m all for the thanks but no thanks method.. it’s polite if nothing else, after that by all means delete at will but manners in the first instance chat not a penny "
Sadly thanks by no thanks generates 'why not' or abuse or thanks for replying which clogs up inboxes even more. The bottom line is thanks but no thanks is exactly the same answer as a no reply. Sorry guys you might just have to accept that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Source: FAQs
Q:There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!
A:It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?"
Notice you just referred to ladies and couples getting hundreds of messages! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think fab should introduce an automatic reply button to press that sends a message saying thanks but not interested. Far better than just being rude and deleting messages and not replying. No wonder people get irritated by others on here. Thoughts fab?"
Sounds unnecessary when it is stated in the FAQs that a no reply is to be taken as a no thank you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think an option to write a personalised auto response would be a good feature.
I'd have, thanks for the message, I've had a look at your profile and pictures and although you're handsome you're not the type I go for, thanks again for the message and take care. "
If you reply with this, do you get many abusive replies? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m all for the thanks but no thanks method.. it’s polite if nothing else, after that by all means delete at will but manners in the first instance chat not a penny
Sadly thanks by no thanks generates 'why not' or abuse or thanks for replying which clogs up inboxes even more. The bottom line is thanks but no thanks is exactly the same answer as a no reply. Sorry guys you might just have to accept that. "
I do accept this and have never hassled a sole with anymore than one message, although I also accept that it’s ones choice or not to reply. I ask you this if someone walked past you in the street and said good morning would not ignore them or say good morning back? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I’m all for the thanks but no thanks method.. it’s polite if nothing else, after that by all means delete at will but manners in the first instance chat not a penny
Sadly thanks by no thanks generates 'why not' or abuse or thanks for replying which clogs up inboxes even more. The bottom line is thanks but no thanks is exactly the same answer as a no reply. Sorry guys you might just have to accept that.
I do accept this and have never hassled a sole with anymore than one message, although I also accept that it’s ones choice or not to reply. I ask you this if someone walked past you in the street and said good morning would not ignore them or say good morning back? "
that's a real life situation, just to turn it around, how many people say no thanks to junk mail or spam email? I notice that the OP hasn't replied to every post on here as well, so that could be construed as rude. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m all for the thanks but no thanks method.. it’s polite if nothing else, after that by all means delete at will but manners in the first instance chat not a penny
Sadly thanks by no thanks generates 'why not' or abuse or thanks for replying which clogs up inboxes even more. The bottom line is thanks but no thanks is exactly the same answer as a no reply. Sorry guys you might just have to accept that.
I do accept this and have never hassled a sole with anymore than one message, although I also accept that it’s ones choice or not to reply. I ask you this if someone walked past you in the street and said good morning would not ignore them or say good morning back? "
In the street, you’d say good morning and carry on walking past.
Not quite the same scenario on here is it? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m all for the thanks but no thanks method.. it’s polite if nothing else, after that by all means delete at will but manners in the first instance chat not a penny
Sadly thanks by no thanks generates 'why not' or abuse or thanks for replying which clogs up inboxes even more. The bottom line is thanks but no thanks is exactly the same answer as a no reply. Sorry guys you might just have to accept that.
I do accept this and have never hassled a sole with anymore than one message, although I also accept that it’s ones choice or not to reply. I ask you this if someone walked past you in the street and said good morning would not ignore them or say good morning back? that's a real life situation, just to turn it around, how many people say no thanks to junk mail or spam email? I notice that the OP hasn't replied to every post on here as well, so that could be construed as rude."
I don't see how it's the same as junk mail. They are advertising that they want to fuck xyz but then bitching when xyz mails them.
That would be the same as someone sticking posters in their windows saying they want pizza then bitching when they get pizza flyers through the door. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m all for the thanks but no thanks method.. it’s polite if nothing else, after that by all means delete at will but manners in the first instance chat not a penny
Sadly thanks by no thanks generates 'why not' or abuse or thanks for replying which clogs up inboxes even more. The bottom line is thanks but no thanks is exactly the same answer as a no reply. Sorry guys you might just have to accept that.
I do accept this and have never hassled a sole with anymore than one message, although I also accept that it’s ones choice or not to reply. I ask you this if someone walked past you in the street and said good morning would not ignore them or say good morning back?
In the street, you’d say good morning and carry on walking past.
Not quite the same scenario on here is it? "
It is if your polite it’s hi thanks for the message but not interested took me 12 seconds to write that polite and to the point after this if they continue to message then by all means block delete whatever but sleep well knowing you were polite, and your parents would be proud lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m all for the thanks but no thanks method.. it’s polite if nothing else, after that by all means delete at will but manners in the first instance chat not a penny
Sadly thanks by no thanks generates 'why not' or abuse or thanks for replying which clogs up inboxes even more. The bottom line is thanks but no thanks is exactly the same answer as a no reply. Sorry guys you might just have to accept that.
I do accept this and have never hassled a sole with anymore than one message, although I also accept that it’s ones choice or not to reply. I ask you this if someone walked past you in the street and said good morning would not ignore them or say good morning back? that's a real life situation, just to turn it around, how many people say no thanks to junk mail or spam email? I notice that the OP hasn't replied to every post on here as well, so that could be construed as rude.
I don't see how it's the same as junk mail. They are advertising that they want to fuck xyz but then bitching when xyz mails them.
That would be the same as someone sticking posters in their windows saying they want pizza then bitching when they get pizza flyers through the door. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Lol!
What is worse is when you spend time chatting and arranging to meet and then they stop replying and responding, Yes, I would rather they selected any of the above options and responded accordingly !!!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m all for the thanks but no thanks method.. it’s polite if nothing else, after that by all means delete at will but manners in the first instance chat not a penny
Sadly thanks by no thanks generates 'why not' or abuse or thanks for replying which clogs up inboxes even more. The bottom line is thanks but no thanks is exactly the same answer as a no reply. Sorry guys you might just have to accept that.
I do accept this and have never hassled a sole with anymore than one message, although I also accept that it’s ones choice or not to reply. I ask you this if someone walked past you in the street and said good morning would not ignore them or say good morning back?
In the street, you’d say good morning and carry on walking past.
Not quite the same scenario on here is it?
It is if your polite it’s hi thanks for the message but not interested took me 12 seconds to write that polite and to the point after this if they continue to message then by all means block delete whatever but sleep well knowing you were polite, and your parents would be proud lol"
Should I be polite to the men who message me and who have clearly not read my profile or read it and blatantly ignored what I’ve said?
These are men who probably don’t understand what the word no means, |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I don’t get loads of messages but I don’t see any point in replying or conversing with people that don’t interest me"
Neither do I and therefore I don't bother! Men can hate me all they want, but I couldn't give a shit lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m all for the thanks but no thanks method.. it’s polite if nothing else, after that by all means delete at will but manners in the first instance chat not a penny
Sadly thanks by no thanks generates 'why not' or abuse or thanks for replying which clogs up inboxes even more. The bottom line is thanks but no thanks is exactly the same answer as a no reply. Sorry guys you might just have to accept that.
I do accept this and have never hassled a sole with anymore than one message, although I also accept that it’s ones choice or not to reply. I ask you this if someone walked past you in the street and said good morning would not ignore them or say good morning back?
In the street, you’d say good morning and carry on walking past.
Not quite the same scenario on here is it?
It is if your polite it’s hi thanks for the message but not interested took me 12 seconds to write that polite and to the point after this if they continue to message then by all means block delete whatever but sleep well knowing you were polite, and your parents would be proud lol"
I've got a job vacancy going if you'd like it. The tasks include replying that 12 second response example to 1,000 messages per month, and dealing with the resultant responses. The position is unpaid and may come with abuse. Interested?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m all for the thanks but no thanks method.. it’s polite if nothing else, after that by all means delete at will but manners in the first instance chat not a penny
Sadly thanks by no thanks generates 'why not' or abuse or thanks for replying which clogs up inboxes even more. The bottom line is thanks but no thanks is exactly the same answer as a no reply. Sorry guys you might just have to accept that.
I do accept this and have never hassled a sole with anymore than one message, although I also accept that it’s ones choice or not to reply. I ask you this if someone walked past you in the street and said good morning would not ignore them or say good morning back?
In the street, you’d say good morning and carry on walking past.
Not quite the same scenario on here is it?
It is if your polite it’s hi thanks for the message but not interested took me 12 seconds to write that polite and to the point after this if they continue to message then by all means block delete whatever but sleep well knowing you were polite, and your parents would be proud lol
I've got a job vacancy going if you'd like it. The tasks include replying that 12 second response example to 1,000 messages per month, and dealing with the resultant responses. The position is unpaid and may come with abuse. Interested? "
Lmao yes I’d be polite like I was raised to be |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think fab should introduce an automatic reply button to press that sends a message saying thanks but not interested. Far better than just being rude and deleting messages and not replying. No wonder people get irritated by others on here. Thoughts fab?"
Definitely costs nothing to reply. Great idea |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Genuine question, OP, which knocks your confidence more, being ignored or an inbox full of 'no's?
I'd imagine the latter would be quite crushing to some "
It depends. Some men don't send out hundreds. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Mostly everyone is blocked. No messages
When I take off the block I will respond with, thank you but yr not for me. Will allow one more response as it is generally a thank you for actually responding to their message. Then I block to save going thro the process again
Simples x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks? "
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored? "
I think it’s from receiving more than a few messages which are obviously cut and paste jobs. Maybe we don’t think that they may only be sending the odd few |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored?
I think it’s from receiving more than a few messages which are obviously cut and paste jobs. Maybe we don’t think that they may only be sending the odd few "
But do you treat each male on here as individuals? Or do you consider we all do the same?
Because that's what I keep hearing the women want. A personalised message, well, like the op, I'd like a personalised reply!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored?
I think it’s from receiving more than a few messages which are obviously cut and paste jobs. Maybe we don’t think that they may only be sending the odd few
But do you treat each male on here as individuals? Or do you consider we all do the same?
Because that's what I keep hearing the women want. A personalised message, well, like the op, I'd like a personalised reply!
"
Yes, I try to. I individually ignore the one word messages, I reply with a different wording to each message from someone who’s not read the profile, I individually block those who are abusive, and I start individual conversations with messages which are either personalised to the recipient or relevant to a forum conversation |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored? "
trouble is, women have no way of knowing in advance if someone is going to be abusive...and once you've had a few rude ones, then yes, its a lot easier to delete...and, as has been pointed out ad nauseam, the site itself advises no reply is to be taken as a no thank you. What might be a good idea is to have that in big block capitals where everyone can see it the minute they sign up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored?
I think it’s from receiving more than a few messages which are obviously cut and paste jobs. Maybe we don’t think that they may only be sending the odd few
But do you treat each male on here as individuals? Or do you consider we all do the same?
Because that's what I keep hearing the women want. A personalised message, well, like the op, I'd like a personalised reply!
Yes, I try to. I individually ignore the one word messages, I reply with a different wording to each message from someone who’s not read the profile, I individually block those who are abusive, and I start individual conversations with messages which are either personalised to the recipient or relevant to a forum conversation "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored?
trouble is, women have no way of knowing in advance if someone is going to be abusive...and once you've had a few rude ones, then yes, its a lot easier to delete...and, as has been pointed out ad nauseam, the site itself advises no reply is to be taken as a no thank you. What might be a good idea is to have that in big block capitals where everyone can see it the minute they sign up. "
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Yes, I try to. I individually ignore the one word messages, I reply with a different wording to each message from someone who’s not read the profile, I individually block those who are abusive, and I start individual conversations with messages which are either personalised to the recipient or relevant to a forum conversation "
This if we didn't treat each individually then we wouldn't have met half the fabulous people we have so far! It's fun having a bit of banter even if a meet isn't on the cards
Peach x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored?
trouble is, women have no way of knowing in advance if someone is going to be abusive...and once you've had a few rude ones, then yes, its a lot easier to delete...and, as has been pointed out ad nauseam, the site itself advises no reply is to be taken as a no thank you. What might be a good idea is to have that in big block capitals where everyone can see it the minute they sign up.
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water. "
i agree with you in principle, it would be really nice not to feel the need to block or ignore messages...but what do you suggest as an alternative? Unfortunately as long as some people have such a massive chip on their shoulders that a polite 'no thank you' means they respond with abuse then i'm not sure what alternative women have. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored?
trouble is, women have no way of knowing in advance if someone is going to be abusive...and once you've had a few rude ones, then yes, its a lot easier to delete...and, as has been pointed out ad nauseam, the site itself advises no reply is to be taken as a no thank you. What might be a good idea is to have that in big block capitals where everyone can see it the minute they sign up.
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water.
i agree with you in principle, it would be really nice not to feel the need to block or ignore messages...but what do you suggest as an alternative? Unfortunately as long as some people have such a massive chip on their shoulders that a polite 'no thank you' means they respond with abuse then i'm not sure what alternative women have. "
More emphasis for women on the filters in the FAQs.
For horny men...there is no hope!
I don't know what the answer is, but I can see when something isn't working, and to say "a delete is a polite no" is sweeping s problem under a rug. It's literally igoming it! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored?
trouble is, women have no way of knowing in advance if someone is going to be abusive...and once you've had a few rude ones, then yes, its a lot easier to delete...and, as has been pointed out ad nauseam, the site itself advises no reply is to be taken as a no thank you. What might be a good idea is to have that in big block capitals where everyone can see it the minute they sign up.
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water.
i agree with you in principle, it would be really nice not to feel the need to block or ignore messages...but what do you suggest as an alternative? Unfortunately as long as some people have such a massive chip on their shoulders that a polite 'no thank you' means they respond with abuse then i'm not sure what alternative women have.
More emphasis for women on the filters in the FAQs.
For horny men...there is no hope!
I don't know what the answer is, but I can see when something isn't working, and to say "a delete is a polite no" is sweeping s problem under a rug. It's literally igoming it! "
Why is it there are so many threads about women deleting messages and maybe 1/2 about men being abusive?
Maybe effort should be made to educate those who send a load of insults, then maybe the ignore rate would decrease? Just a thought |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored?
trouble is, women have no way of knowing in advance if someone is going to be abusive...and once you've had a few rude ones, then yes, its a lot easier to delete...and, as has been pointed out ad nauseam, the site itself advises no reply is to be taken as a no thank you. What might be a good idea is to have that in big block capitals where everyone can see it the minute they sign up.
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water.
i agree with you in principle, it would be really nice not to feel the need to block or ignore messages...but what do you suggest as an alternative? Unfortunately as long as some people have such a massive chip on their shoulders that a polite 'no thank you' means they respond with abuse then i'm not sure what alternative women have.
More emphasis for women on the filters in the FAQs.
For horny men...there is no hope!
I don't know what the answer is, but I can see when something isn't working, and to say "a delete is a polite no" is sweeping s problem under a rug. It's literally igoming it!
Why is it there are so many threads about women deleting messages and maybe 1/2 about men being abusive?
Maybe effort should be made to educate those who send a load of insults, then maybe the ignore rate would decrease? Just a thought "
Maybe there's only half the men sending abusive messages than there are woman ignoring them.
Your right, there's an answer. Again when signing up, a flipping tutorial on how to use the site, I didn't have a clue when I joined. I got stuck in the forum only because I know how forums work.
I've never mailed someone to see if they fancy a shag. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored?
trouble is, women have no way of knowing in advance if someone is going to be abusive...and once you've had a few rude ones, then yes, its a lot easier to delete...and, as has been pointed out ad nauseam, the site itself advises no reply is to be taken as a no thank you. What might be a good idea is to have that in big block capitals where everyone can see it the minute they sign up.
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water.
i agree with you in principle, it would be really nice not to feel the need to block or ignore messages...but what do you suggest as an alternative? Unfortunately as long as some people have such a massive chip on their shoulders that a polite 'no thank you' means they respond with abuse then i'm not sure what alternative women have.
More emphasis for women on the filters in the FAQs.
For horny men...there is no hope!
I don't know what the answer is, but I can see when something isn't working, and to say "a delete is a polite no" is sweeping s problem under a rug. It's literally igoming it!
Why is it there are so many threads about women deleting messages and maybe 1/2 about men being abusive?
Maybe effort should be made to educate those who send a load of insults, then maybe the ignore rate would decrease? Just a thought
Maybe there's only half the men sending abusive messages than there are woman ignoring them.
Your right, there's an answer. Again when signing up, a flipping tutorial on how to use the site, I didn't have a clue when I joined. I got stuck in the forum only because I know how forums work.
I've never mailed someone to see if they fancy a shag. "
Maybe one abusive message is enough to elicit 10 ignores?
I’m not sure I believe that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored?
trouble is, women have no way of knowing in advance if someone is going to be abusive...and once you've had a few rude ones, then yes, its a lot easier to delete...and, as has been pointed out ad nauseam, the site itself advises no reply is to be taken as a no thank you. What might be a good idea is to have that in big block capitals where everyone can see it the minute they sign up.
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water.
i agree with you in principle, it would be really nice not to feel the need to block or ignore messages...but what do you suggest as an alternative? Unfortunately as long as some people have such a massive chip on their shoulders that a polite 'no thank you' means they respond with abuse then i'm not sure what alternative women have.
More emphasis for women on the filters in the FAQs.
For horny men...there is no hope!
I don't know what the answer is, but I can see when something isn't working, and to say "a delete is a polite no" is sweeping s problem under a rug. It's literally igoming it!
Why is it there are so many threads about women deleting messages and maybe 1/2 about men being abusive?
Maybe effort should be made to educate those who send a load of insults, then maybe the ignore rate would decrease? Just a thought "
exactly! Unfortunately the prevalence of men on here who seem to think its some sort of menu of free hookers makes abuse become par for the course, which it should never be...and i really don't know what can be done about that when it's not a site based problem, but a huge problem with some men's views of women in general. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've avoided dealing with any messages I receive that I haven't started, as I find it quite hard to be blunt and say not interested straight off the bat, especially if they have sent a polite message.
I'd have no problem ignoring rudeness or crazy
I do feel a bit guilty not reading/replying sometimes and are thinking as I don't get that many I could start . If I end up with dozens of conversations I can't finish I'll just blame you fab lot  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored?
trouble is, women have no way of knowing in advance if someone is going to be abusive...and once you've had a few rude ones, then yes, its a lot easier to delete...and, as has been pointed out ad nauseam, the site itself advises no reply is to be taken as a no thank you. What might be a good idea is to have that in big block capitals where everyone can see it the minute they sign up.
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water.
i agree with you in principle, it would be really nice not to feel the need to block or ignore messages...but what do you suggest as an alternative? Unfortunately as long as some people have such a massive chip on their shoulders that a polite 'no thank you' means they respond with abuse then i'm not sure what alternative women have.
More emphasis for women on the filters in the FAQs.
For horny men...there is no hope!
I don't know what the answer is, but I can see when something isn't working, and to say "a delete is a polite no" is sweeping s problem under a rug. It's literally igoming it!
Why is it there are so many threads about women deleting messages and maybe 1/2 about men being abusive?
Maybe effort should be made to educate those who send a load of insults, then maybe the ignore rate would decrease? Just a thought
exactly! Unfortunately the prevalence of men on here who seem to think its some sort of menu of free hookers makes abuse become par for the course, which it should never be...and i really don't know what can be done about that when it's not a site based problem, but a huge problem with some men's views of women in general."
Does seem to be more prevalent on here than in the real world though? It’s an age old problem to be sure |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored?
trouble is, women have no way of knowing in advance if someone is going to be abusive...and once you've had a few rude ones, then yes, its a lot easier to delete...and, as has been pointed out ad nauseam, the site itself advises no reply is to be taken as a no thank you. What might be a good idea is to have that in big block capitals where everyone can see it the minute they sign up.
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water.
i agree with you in principle, it would be really nice not to feel the need to block or ignore messages...but what do you suggest as an alternative? Unfortunately as long as some people have such a massive chip on their shoulders that a polite 'no thank you' means they respond with abuse then i'm not sure what alternative women have.
More emphasis for women on the filters in the FAQs.
For horny men...there is no hope!
I don't know what the answer is, but I can see when something isn't working, and to say "a delete is a polite no" is sweeping s problem under a rug. It's literally igoming it!
Why is it there are so many threads about women deleting messages and maybe 1/2 about men being abusive?
Maybe effort should be made to educate those who send a load of insults, then maybe the ignore rate would decrease? Just a thought
exactly! Unfortunately the prevalence of men on here who seem to think its some sort of menu of free hookers makes abuse become par for the course, which it should never be...and i really don't know what can be done about that when it's not a site based problem, but a huge problem with some men's views of women in general."
Abuse isn't tolerated though. Everyone has that protection. Report. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored?
trouble is, women have no way of knowing in advance if someone is going to be abusive...and once you've had a few rude ones, then yes, its a lot easier to delete...and, as has been pointed out ad nauseam, the site itself advises no reply is to be taken as a no thank you. What might be a good idea is to have that in big block capitals where everyone can see it the minute they sign up.
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water.
i agree with you in principle, it would be really nice not to feel the need to block or ignore messages...but what do you suggest as an alternative? Unfortunately as long as some people have such a massive chip on their shoulders that a polite 'no thank you' means they respond with abuse then i'm not sure what alternative women have.
More emphasis for women on the filters in the FAQs.
For horny men...there is no hope!
I don't know what the answer is, but I can see when something isn't working, and to say "a delete is a polite no" is sweeping s problem under a rug. It's literally igoming it!
Why is it there are so many threads about women deleting messages and maybe 1/2 about men being abusive?
Maybe effort should be made to educate those who send a load of insults, then maybe the ignore rate would decrease? Just a thought
exactly! Unfortunately the prevalence of men on here who seem to think its some sort of menu of free hookers makes abuse become par for the course, which it should never be...and i really don't know what can be done about that when it's not a site based problem, but a huge problem with some men's views of women in general.
Abuse isn't tolerated though. Everyone has that protection. Report. "
If you got 5 abusive messages in a row (all from 5 different people), would you then bother with the next 5? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water.
i agree with you in principle, it would be really nice not to feel the need to block or ignore messages...but what do you suggest as an alternative? Unfortunately as long as some people have such a massive chip on their shoulders that a polite 'no thank you' means they respond with abuse then i'm not sure what alternative women have.
More emphasis for women on the filters in the FAQs.
For horny men...there is no hope!
I don't know what the answer is, but I can see when something isn't working, and to say "a delete is a polite no" is sweeping s problem under a rug. It's literally igoming it!
Why is it there are so many threads about women deleting messages and maybe 1/2 about men being abusive?
Maybe effort should be made to educate those who send a load of insults, then maybe the ignore rate would decrease? Just a thought
exactly! Unfortunately the prevalence of men on here who seem to think its some sort of menu of free hookers makes abuse become par for the course, which it should never be...and i really don't know what can be done about that when it's not a site based problem, but a huge problem with some men's views of women in general.
Abuse isn't tolerated though. Everyone has that protection. Report.
If you got 5 abusive messages in a row (all from 5 different people), would you then bother with the next 5? "
Did you report all 5.
And then you report the next 5.
Maybe then Admin will see that there is a problem, or, carry on deleting and in effect ignoring them. .
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored?
trouble is, women have no way of knowing in advance if someone is going to be abusive...and once you've had a few rude ones, then yes, its a lot easier to delete...and, as has been pointed out ad nauseam, the site itself advises no reply is to be taken as a no thank you. What might be a good idea is to have that in big block capitals where everyone can see it the minute they sign up.
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water.
i agree with you in principle, it would be really nice not to feel the need to block or ignore messages...but what do you suggest as an alternative? Unfortunately as long as some people have such a massive chip on their shoulders that a polite 'no thank you' means they respond with abuse then i'm not sure what alternative women have.
More emphasis for women on the filters in the FAQs.
For horny men...there is no hope!
I don't know what the answer is, but I can see when something isn't working, and to say "a delete is a polite no" is sweeping s problem under a rug. It's literally igoming it!
Why is it there are so many threads about women deleting messages and maybe 1/2 about men being abusive?
Maybe effort should be made to educate those who send a load of insults, then maybe the ignore rate would decrease? Just a thought
exactly! Unfortunately the prevalence of men on here who seem to think its some sort of menu of free hookers makes abuse become par for the course, which it should never be...and i really don't know what can be done about that when it's not a site based problem, but a huge problem with some men's views of women in general.
Abuse isn't tolerated though. Everyone has that protection. Report. "
again, i agree...but as grown adults we shouldn't have to resort to that as a routine thing surely? ...which is why its a lot less hassle to just delete sometimes..and reporting for being abusive, well, sorry but all that happens is the 2 people are blocked from each other....does nothing to stop the guy doing the same to the next person..if anything, probably makes them worse if thy're wound up and angry. If it was clear that they lost their accounts, then maybe that would make a difference. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water.
i agree with you in principle, it would be really nice not to feel the need to block or ignore messages...but what do you suggest as an alternative? Unfortunately as long as some people have such a massive chip on their shoulders that a polite 'no thank you' means they respond with abuse then i'm not sure what alternative women have.
More emphasis for women on the filters in the FAQs.
For horny men...there is no hope!
I don't know what the answer is, but I can see when something isn't working, and to say "a delete is a polite no" is sweeping s problem under a rug. It's literally igoming it!
Why is it there are so many threads about women deleting messages and maybe 1/2 about men being abusive?
Maybe effort should be made to educate those who send a load of insults, then maybe the ignore rate would decrease? Just a thought
exactly! Unfortunately the prevalence of men on here who seem to think its some sort of menu of free hookers makes abuse become par for the course, which it should never be...and i really don't know what can be done about that when it's not a site based problem, but a huge problem with some men's views of women in general.
Abuse isn't tolerated though. Everyone has that protection. Report.
If you got 5 abusive messages in a row (all from 5 different people), would you then bother with the next 5?
Did you report all 5.
And then you report the next 5.
Maybe then Admin will see that there is a problem, or, carry on deleting and in effect ignoring them. .
"
Am currently having an experiment in my inbox having taken on the suggestions outlined in this thread, I’ll keep you posted |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water.
i agree with you in principle, it would be really nice not to feel the need to block or ignore messages...but what do you suggest as an alternative? Unfortunately as long as some people have such a massive chip on their shoulders that a polite 'no thank you' means they respond with abuse then i'm not sure what alternative women have.
More emphasis for women on the filters in the FAQs.
For horny men...there is no hope!
I don't know what the answer is, but I can see when something isn't working, and to say "a delete is a polite no" is sweeping s problem under a rug. It's literally igoming it!
Why is it there are so many threads about women deleting messages and maybe 1/2 about men being abusive?
Maybe effort should be made to educate those who send a load of insults, then maybe the ignore rate would decrease? Just a thought
exactly! Unfortunately the prevalence of men on here who seem to think its some sort of menu of free hookers makes abuse become par for the course, which it should never be...and i really don't know what can be done about that when it's not a site based problem, but a huge problem with some men's views of women in general.
Abuse isn't tolerated though. Everyone has that protection. Report.
If you got 5 abusive messages in a row (all from 5 different people), would you then bother with the next 5?
Did you report all 5.
And then you report the next 5.
Maybe then Admin will see that there is a problem, or, carry on deleting and in effect ignoring them. .
Am currently having an experiment in my inbox having taken on the suggestions outlined in this thread, I’ll keep you posted "
Good...but please be aware abusive men are far far less vocal when dealing with couples... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
On the rare occasion I get a thanks but not my type, I always reply thanking them for the courtesy of a response. I think that's fair enough.
I don't expect a reply though, so that's just a bonus. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water.
i agree with you in principle, it would be really nice not to feel the need to block or ignore messages...but what do you suggest as an alternative? Unfortunately as long as some people have such a massive chip on their shoulders that a polite 'no thank you' means they respond with abuse then i'm not sure what alternative women have.
More emphasis for women on the filters in the FAQs.
For horny men...there is no hope!
I don't know what the answer is, but I can see when something isn't working, and to say "a delete is a polite no" is sweeping s problem under a rug. It's literally igoming it!
Why is it there are so many threads about women deleting messages and maybe 1/2 about men being abusive?
Maybe effort should be made to educate those who send a load of insults, then maybe the ignore rate would decrease? Just a thought
exactly! Unfortunately the prevalence of men on here who seem to think its some sort of menu of free hookers makes abuse become par for the course, which it should never be...and i really don't know what can be done about that when it's not a site based problem, but a huge problem with some men's views of women in general.
Abuse isn't tolerated though. Everyone has that protection. Report.
If you got 5 abusive messages in a row (all from 5 different people), would you then bother with the next 5?
Did you report all 5.
And then you report the next 5.
Maybe then Admin will see that there is a problem, or, carry on deleting and in effect ignoring them. .
Am currently having an experiment in my inbox having taken on the suggestions outlined in this thread, I’ll keep you posted
Good...but please be aware abusive men are far far less vocal when dealing with couples..."
I did wonder that. Presumably a pissed off husband is more of a deterrent than a single lady? Which is even more awful in a way! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water.
i agree with you in principle, it would be really nice not to feel the need to block or ignore messages...but what do you suggest as an alternative? Unfortunately as long as some people have such a massive chip on their shoulders that a polite 'no thank you' means they respond with abuse then i'm not sure what alternative women have.
More emphasis for women on the filters in the FAQs.
For horny men...there is no hope!
I don't know what the answer is, but I can see when something isn't working, and to say "a delete is a polite no" is sweeping s problem under a rug. It's literally igoming it!
Why is it there are so many threads about women deleting messages and maybe 1/2 about men being abusive?
Maybe effort should be made to educate those who send a load of insults, then maybe the ignore rate would decrease? Just a thought
exactly! Unfortunately the prevalence of men on here who seem to think its some sort of menu of free hookers makes abuse become par for the course, which it should never be...and i really don't know what can be done about that when it's not a site based problem, but a huge problem with some men's views of women in general.
Abuse isn't tolerated though. Everyone has that protection. Report.
If you got 5 abusive messages in a row (all from 5 different people), would you then bother with the next 5?
Did you report all 5.
And then you report the next 5.
Maybe then Admin will see that there is a problem, or, carry on deleting and in effect ignoring them. .
Am currently having an experiment in my inbox having taken on the suggestions outlined in this thread, I’ll keep you posted
Good...but please be aware abusive men are far far less vocal when dealing with couples...
I did wonder that. Presumably a pissed off husband is more of a deterrent than a single lady? Which is even more awful in a way! "
isn't it! ridiculous, but true! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you would prefer a inbox full of messages saying no thanks?
Why, he may have only sent two or three.
Does everyone automatically think men are throwing themselves around?
A reply is always better than being ignored. Am I wrong? Do you like being ignored?
trouble is, women have no way of knowing in advance if someone is going to be abusive...and once you've had a few rude ones, then yes, its a lot easier to delete...and, as has been pointed out ad nauseam, the site itself advises no reply is to be taken as a no thank you. What might be a good idea is to have that in big block capitals where everyone can see it the minute they sign up.
Just because the everyone including the site advises its the way to do it, it does t make it the best way. Why do you think there is hundreds of threads about this? It isn't working and isn't giving a good vibe.
I try to do what I feel is the right way to deal with things, I never do what everyone else is doing. That's how lemmings get in hot water. "
When my profile is 'live' I reply to all first messages. I can count on one hand the abusive replies I've had in 5 years.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I was on another site that had that button style feature then all the guys just moaned that replying like that wasn't personal enough
This is one of those things where you can't win for losing
Weather you get a replying telling you no or not the answer is still the same so I don't see what the big deal is. This is coming from a lady that has sent first messages and had them go unread/deleted too
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
