FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > FAB Advice - desires and sex
FAB Advice - desires and sex
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Sat talking to a male FAB friend and struggling with how I feel about this site and sex clubs etc
I don’t want to have sex with everyone who asks me. Some men don’t turn me on at all in the slightest. I wish I could let go but I don’t know how.
Any advice, as I’m perceived at “up tight or a
Cock tease” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why would you have sex with everyone who asks?!
It's your body and your choice. No matter what the circumstances you always have a choice and should never feel like you "have" to do anything. |
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
"Why would you have sex with everyone who asks?!
It's your body and your choice. No matter what the circumstances you always have a choice and should never feel like you "have" to do anything. "
Couldn't have said it better. And that's from me a fan fella. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sat talking to a male FAB friend and struggling with how I feel about this site and sex clubs etc
I don’t want to have sex with everyone who asks me. Some men don’t turn me on at all in the slightest. I wish I could let go but I don’t know how.
Any advice, as I’m perceived at “up tight or a
Cock tease”"
I'd try not to worry about how others see you.
fabs a strange site from my experience, sometimes it and the
people on it instills confidence and other times it can lead to unwanted abuse.
if it is getting too much take a break, you can always come back to it if you 'miss' it
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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago
Traffic land |
I went to the Heathrow Social with a (male) fab friend last night and we both approach Fab quite differently.
There was a lot of piss taking about me being a rubbish swinger. I’m quite shy, I agonise over the pictures I post, I then seemingly put obstacles in the way even with people I have had a social with and do want to move on to a meet.
But despite the piss taking, I’m happy with that, it’s my way and it works for me, because the meets I have had, have been great.
Do what you want to do, I met you in Birmingham and you struck me as a sassy confident woman. Use that and do it your way! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have sex with everyone who asks and I don't care what anyone thinks of me. I'm getting plenty of sex with men I'm attracted to. So it's working for me. I don't like the sound of clubs, so I don't go to them.
Do what you want. It's your body and you're the one who has to feel good about what you do. |
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OP I must uptight and a cock tease too because I'm very choosy about who I want to fuck.
When I go to clubs I turn down far more people than I choose to play with and I always have a great night even if I decide not to play with anyone.
We all see swinging differently and if what you choose to do works for you that's all that matters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sat talking to a male FAB friend and struggling with how I feel about this site and sex clubs etc
I don’t want to have sex with everyone who asks me. Some men don’t turn me on at all in the slightest. I wish I could let go but I don’t know how.
Any advice, as I’m perceived at “up tight or a
Cock tease”"
As long as you happy with who you are don't even think or worry about what others think, sod 'em.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sat talking to a male FAB friend and struggling with how I feel about this site and sex clubs etc
I don’t want to have sex with everyone who asks me. Some men don’t turn me on at all in the slightest. I wish I could let go but I don’t know how.
Any advice, as I’m perceived at “up tight or a
Cock tease”"
In life Everyone approaches every task differently, why should fab be any different? If you’re not comfortable with something, don’t do it and if people don’t agree with your approach.... fuck em. (Not literally)
We’ve been here around 18months and only got jiggy once, we’re very happy.
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You have to be true to yourself - if you force yourself to go through with anything, let alone something so intimate, when all your instincts are screaming 'no' then the likelihood of you hating yourself after is high. What's the point of doing that?
I don't want to have sex with everyone who asks either. I suspect that's true for a majority of women here, and, contrary to popular opinion, a significant number of men too. Even if I did, there simply wouldn't be enough hours in the day (and that holds true for most Fab females due to the numbers imbalance on the site) so however accommodating I was, people would *still* lose out, still be disappointed, still be flinging abuse when they were turned down. If you're being called names when you decline to shag men who don't do it for you, maybe it'd be an idea to block them as soon as you send the 'no thanks' mail to protect yourself against that possibility? I know not all men are like that so if you feel that 'bad' about blocking you could perhaps also add a line to the rejection reply along the lines of 'no offence intended but I will now be blocking you as we're not compatible' or some such.
If you're also getting verbal abuse at clubs (it wasn't clear from your post) you should inform the staff - any decent club owner would want to know about that as its clientele should always be able to say no without fear of any unpleasant repercussions.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Contrary to the common assumption about men I've had sex with very few women that we've met including most of those Mrs Orjee has played with.
If I don't fancy somebody, I'm not interested in playing with them. This has never been a problem. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn’t have sex with everyone who asked either!
If you don’t fancy them, don’t fuck them 
Wot they said.
Just cos this is a swingers site doesn't mean its a "free for all".  "
Thank you, I just get the comments all the time “you’re not a swinger” “you need to work out what you want” I know what I want and how I feel afterwards so don’t do things I don’t want to do. I’m just fed up of the comments  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I went to the Heathrow Social with a (male) fab friend last night and we both approach Fab quite differently.
There was a lot of piss taking about me being a rubbish swinger. I’m quite shy, I agonise over the pictures I post, I then seemingly put obstacles in the way even with people I have had a social with and do want to move on to a meet.
But despite the piss taking, I’m happy with that, it’s my way and it works for me, because the meets I have had, have been great.
Do what you want to do, I met you in Birmingham and you struck me as a sassy confident woman. Use that and do it your way!"
Aww thank you lovely lady. I’ll think about this more as it is meant to be fun xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn’t have sex with everyone who asked either!
If you don’t fancy them, don’t fuck them
Wot they said.
Just cos this is a swingers site doesn't mean its a "free for all".
Thank you, I just get the comments all the time “you’re not a swinger” “you need to work out what you want” I know what I want and how I feel afterwards so don’t do things I don’t want to do. I’m just fed up of the comments "
Just ignore them, who cares what anyone else thinks. Do what you want to do.
Maybe try mail filters or take "men" off the looking for list- that takes you off searches. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OP I must uptight and a cock tease too because I'm very choosy about who I want to fuck.
When I go to clubs I turn down far more people than I choose to play with and I always have a great night even if I decide not to play with anyone.
We all see swinging differently and if what you choose to do works for you that's all that matters."
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You have to be true to yourself - if you force yourself to go through with anything, let alone something so intimate, when all your instincts are screaming 'no' then the likelihood of you hating yourself after is high. What's the point of doing that?
I don't want to have sex with everyone who asks either. I suspect that's true for a majority of women here, and, contrary to popular opinion, a significant number of men too. Even if I did, there simply wouldn't be enough hours in the day (and that holds true for most Fab females due to the numbers imbalance on the site) so however accommodating I was, people would *still* lose out, still be disappointed, still be flinging abuse when they were turned down. If you're being called names when you decline to shag men who don't do it for you, maybe it'd be an idea to block them as soon as you send the 'no thanks' mail to protect yourself against that possibility? I know not all men are like that so if you feel that 'bad' about blocking you could perhaps also add a line to the rejection reply along the lines of 'no offence intended but I will now be blocking you as we're not compatible' or some such.
If you're also getting verbal abuse at clubs (it wasn't clear from your post) you should inform the staff - any decent club owner would want to know about that as its clientele should always be able to say no without fear of any unpleasant repercussions.
"
Thank you great advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why would you have sex with everyone who asks?!
It's your body and your choice. No matter what the circumstances you always have a choice and should never feel like you "have" to do anything. "
As already said, this is so true....be yourself |
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"I wouldn’t have sex with everyone who asked either!
If you don’t fancy them, don’t fuck them
Wot they said.
Just cos this is a swingers site doesn't mean its a "free for all".
Thank you, I just get the comments all the time “you’re not a swinger” “you need to work out what you want” I know what I want and how I feel afterwards so don’t do things I don’t want to do. I’m just fed up of the comments "
What's making people comment in that way? I'm the female half of this couple and have turned people many times and with one or two exceptions they have all accepted gracefully. These people seem very rude.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn’t have sex with everyone who asked either!
If you don’t fancy them, don’t fuck them
Wot they said.
Just cos this is a swingers site doesn't mean its a "free for all".
Thank you, I just get the comments all the time “you’re not a swinger” “you need to work out what you want” I know what I want and how I feel afterwards so don’t do things I don’t want to do. I’m just fed up of the comments
What's making people comment in that way? I'm the female half of this couple and have turned people many times and with one or two exceptions they have all accepted gracefully. These people seem very rude.
"
Im it sure. The only thing I can think of is because I’m easy going in most things but not this |
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"I wouldn’t have sex with everyone who asked either!
If you don’t fancy them, don’t fuck them
Wot they said.
Just cos this is a swingers site doesn't mean its a "free for all".
Thank you, I just get the comments all the time “you’re not a swinger” “you need to work out what you want” I know what I want and how I feel afterwards so don’t do things I don’t want to do. I’m just fed up of the comments
What's making people comment in that way? I'm the female half of this couple and have turned people many times and with one or two exceptions they have all accepted gracefully. These people seem very rude.
Im it sure. The only thing I can think of is because I’m easy going in most things but not this"
Is it to your face or in messages? Some guys get a bit frustrated if you politely turn them down after a couple of messages.
I obviously don't know how you interact with people so can only comment based on what I've read here. Some guys feel that if women are on fab and actually interact with them that it will automatically lead to sex. Hence the cock tease and not proper swinger comments. Its a shame. |
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"I wouldn’t have sex with everyone who asked either!
If you don’t fancy them, don’t fuck them
Wot they said.
Just cos this is a swingers site doesn't mean its a "free for all".
Thank you, I just get the comments all the time “you’re not a swinger” “you need to work out what you want” I know what I want and how I feel afterwards so don’t do things I don’t want to do. I’m just fed up of the comments "
You are doing nothing wrong.
We have met people through here at socials, in the chat rooms, and even at clubs and parties, and got on great.... but, if that spark isn't there, it isn't going to happen.
You can never tell how you really feel about someone until you meet face-to-face, they can have stunning pics, say all the right things, push all the right buttons... but still fall short of that certain "thing" that lights your fuse.
If you aint feeling it, walk away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn’t have sex with everyone who asked either!
If you don’t fancy them, don’t fuck them
Wot they said.
Just cos this is a swingers site doesn't mean its a "free for all".
Thank you, I just get the comments all the time “you’re not a swinger” “you need to work out what you want” I know what I want and how I feel afterwards so don’t do things I don’t want to do. I’m just fed up of the comments "
It sounds like you already have and it's very simple.
It about what you want if you want and how you want...just like the real world.
There is no compulsion here and if your ever uncomfortable or unhappy about something just don't do it.
No one here with any respect for others will ever think less of you for that...
Those who complain about your choices...why would you ever want to meet them anyway..
It's your fab OP your way your rules...
Be happy enjoy and do only what you want to do x |
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"Sat talking to a male FAB friend and struggling with how I feel about this site and sex clubs etc
I don’t want to have sex with everyone who asks me. Some men don’t turn me on at all in the slightest. I wish I could let go but I don’t know how.
Any advice, as I’m perceived at “up tight or a
Cock tease”"
You don't need to change they need to look at their expectations, especially in clubs x
This site works on a million different levels. People like just chat, the thrill of it, the freedom of being able to post sexy pics of themselves or fucking whoever takes their fancy. Find your level |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn’t have sex with everyone who asked either!
If you don’t fancy them, don’t fuck them
Wot they said.
Just cos this is a swingers site doesn't mean its a "free for all".
Thank you, I just get the comments all the time “you’re not a swinger” “you need to work out what you want” I know what I want and how I feel afterwards so don’t do things I don’t want to do. I’m just fed up of the comments
It sounds like you already have and it's very simple.
It about what you want if you want and how you want...just like the real world.
There is no compulsion here and if your ever uncomfortable or unhappy about something just don't do it.
No one here with any respect for others will ever think less of you for that...
Those who complain about your choices...why would you ever want to meet them anyway..
It's your fab OP your way your rules...
Be happy enjoy and do only what you want to do x"
Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It doesn't matter if you like the many or the few, it's your choice.
It's no strings attraction and interaction in the ways that work for each of us.
"
Yeah that’s true but sure why I took it to heart yesterday (probably alcohol related  ) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sat talking to a male FAB friend and struggling with how I feel about this site and sex clubs etc
I don’t want to have sex with everyone who asks me. Some men don’t turn me on at all in the slightest. I wish I could let go but I don’t know how.
Any advice, as I’m perceived at “up tight or a
Cock tease”
You don't need to change they need to look at their expectations, especially in clubs x
This site works on a million different levels. People like just chat, the thrill of it, the freedom of being able to post sexy pics of themselves or fucking whoever takes their fancy. Find your level "
Thank you, yeah notches aren’t for me. I guess people are saying that it’s the wrong type of site for me |
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"Sat talking to a male FAB friend and struggling with how I feel about this site and sex clubs etc
I don’t want to have sex with everyone who asks me. Some men don’t turn me on at all in the slightest. I wish I could let go but I don’t know how.
Any advice, as I’m perceived at “up tight or a
Cock tease”
You don't need to change they need to look at their expectations, especially in clubs x
This site works on a million different levels. People like just chat, the thrill of it, the freedom of being able to post sexy pics of themselves or fucking whoever takes their fancy. Find your level
Thank you, yeah notches aren’t for me. I guess people are saying that it’s the wrong type of site for me "
the way they use the site isn't for you, doesn't mean you don't belong here.
if it's guys saying you shouldn't be here, it's usually their cocks talking. you perked their pecker up and are hurt you don't want to play with them. |
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