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By *lue Narwhal OP Man
over a year ago
Iceland, but Aldi is closer.. |
EARTHQUAKE in Romford,Essex
An earthquake measuring 4.3 on the Richter scale hit Romford in the early hours, with the epicentre in Strait road. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Fuuuckinell".
The tremor decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair.
Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived. The Daily echo reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still coming to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Romford. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "it was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes come running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning".
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship crates of koppelberg to some of the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
There is an appeal to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Baseball caps
Full matching tracksuits
Nike Huarachi trainers
Tartan pyjamas
UGG Boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Microwave meals, Pot Noodles, Tins of baked beans, ice cream, Cans of Strong Bow or Special Brew and of course pies.
22p buys a biro for filling in compensation forms.
£10 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
£15 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"EARTHQUAKE in Romford,Essex
An earthquake measuring 4.3 on the Richter scale hit Romford in the early hours, with the epicentre in Strait road. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Fuuuckinell".
The tremor decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair.
Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived. The Daily echo reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still coming to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Romford. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "it was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes come running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning".
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship crates of koppelberg to some of the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
There is an appeal to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Baseball caps
Full matching tracksuits
Nike Huarachi trainers
Tartan pyjamas
UGG Boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Microwave meals, Pot Noodles, Tins of baked beans, ice cream, Cans of Strong Bow or Special Brew and of course pies.
22p buys a biro for filling in compensation forms.
£10 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
£15 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9."
Il admit to lol at this  |
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By *lue Narwhal OP Man
over a year ago
Iceland, but Aldi is closer.. |
"Has a United Nations Taskforce been set up to co-ordinate the relief effort?  "
No, but the engineers have been sent in...
British gas engineers that is in an attempt to get McDonald's friers working to full capacity. . |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Has a United Nations Taskforce been set up to co-ordinate the relief effort?
No, but the engineers have been sent in...
British gas engineers that is in an attempt to get McDonald's friers working to full capacity. . "
Thank goodness... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Give now and save...
Romford???
Text 12345... And give £250000000000000
Romford needs your help
(Don't forget syrupy voice over)
Repeat on channel everywhere at 15 second intervals |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Has a United Nations Taskforce been set up to co-ordinate the relief effort?
No, but the engineers have been sent in...
British gas engineers that is in an attempt to get McDonald's friers working to full capacity. . "
I hope they don't have alloy wheels on their vehicles.. |
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By *lue Narwhal OP Man
over a year ago
Iceland, but Aldi is closer.. |
"Give now and save...
Romford???
Text 12345... And give £250000000000000
Romford needs your help
(Don't forget syrupy voice over)
Repeat on channel everywhere at 15 second intervals "
And for every £10 you give, we will send you a cuddley mockney called Gaz absolutely free, who will live with you and make your life poorer..This cuddley Gaz comes with his own off white vest and crate of Stella and curfew preventing him from being out after 9 and going to the Brewery shopping centre..
Also you will receive weekly updates from the people renting his council house, letting you know there's mildew on the walls and the heating isn't working...
So sign up now by texting "mug" to 69690... |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Give now and save...
Romford???
Text 12345... And give £250000000000000
Romford needs your help
(Don't forget syrupy voice over)
Repeat on channel everywhere at 15 second intervals
And for every £10 you give, we will send you a cuddley mockney called Gaz absolutely free, who will live with you and make your life poorer..This cuddley Gaz comes with his own off white vest and crate of Stella and curfew preventing him from being out after 9 and going to the Brewery shopping centre..
Also you will receive weekly updates from the people renting his council house, letting you know there's mildew on the walls and the heating isn't working...
So sign up now by texting "mug" to 69690..."
Does cuddly Gaz come with a brand new ankle tag? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Give now and save...
Romford???
Text 12345... And give £250000000000000
Romford needs your help
(Don't forget syrupy voice over)
Repeat on channel everywhere at 15 second intervals
And for every £10 you give, we will send you a cuddley mockney called Gaz absolutely free, who will live with you and make your life poorer..This cuddley Gaz comes with his own off white vest and crate of Stella and curfew preventing him from being out after 9 and going to the Brewery shopping centre..
Also you will receive weekly updates from the people renting his council house, letting you know there's mildew on the walls and the heating isn't working...
So sign up now by texting "mug" to 69690...
Does cuddly Gaz come with a brand new ankle tag?"
That would be his gf Shaz with an ankle tag engraved HW...
Not that they were married |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Give now and save...
Romford???
Text 12345... And give £250000000000000
Romford needs your help
(Don't forget syrupy voice over)
Repeat on channel everywhere at 15 second intervals
And for every £10 you give, we will send you a cuddley mockney called Gaz absolutely free, who will live with you and make your life poorer..This cuddley Gaz comes with his own off white vest and crate of Stella and curfew preventing him from being out after 9 and going to the Brewery shopping centre..
Also you will receive weekly updates from the people renting his council house, letting you know there's mildew on the walls and the heating isn't working...
So sign up now by texting "mug" to 69690...
Does cuddly Gaz come with a brand new ankle tag?
That would be his gf Shaz with an ankle tag engraved HW...
Not that they were married "
|
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"I still laughed. It's like Christmas this joke ....... comes every year but we still love it.
It comes once a year?
Fuck me, it's like me as well as Christmas... "
Oh stop it with the sympathy seekin...... tsk ... |
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By *lue Narwhal OP Man
over a year ago
Iceland, but Aldi is closer.. |
"I still laughed. It's like Christmas this joke ....... comes every year but we still love it.
It comes once a year?
Fuck me, it's like me as well as Christmas...
Oh stop it with the sympathy seekin...... tsk ... "
A man's gotta try..
Now where the feck is that violinist when you need him... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I used to work in Romford.
It is rough. Very rough.
More than half the men who fucked me had been to jail for something or other.
But that's why the men are so manly and fuck so hard.  
No jokes.
Ladies if you fancy a real hard Rogering from a proper GEEZER then meet a Romford man. Guaranteed sore pussy.
|
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"Has a United Nations Taskforce been set up to co-ordinate the relief effort?
No, but the engineers have been sent in...
British gas engineers that is in an attempt to get McDonald's friers working to full capacity. . "
 |
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By *lue Narwhal OP Man
over a year ago
Iceland, but Aldi is closer.. |
"I used to work in Romford.
It is rough. Very rough.
More than half the men who fucked me had been to jail for something or other.
But that's why the men are so manly and fuck so hard.
No jokes.
Ladies if you fancy a real hard Rogering from a proper GEEZER then meet a Romford man. Guaranteed sore pussy.
"
Now that's a glowing reference if ever I've seen one.... |
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