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Saudade
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"Depends...does it require romantic love, or is it love in a more general sense?" Both, for sure. | |||
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"Yes twice." Do you find the feeling useful, painful, positive? | |||
"Yes. It's a similar feel to the Welsh hiraeth." 
Is it healthy to try and dive into this feeling (like trying to hang on to a dream you're enjoying as you start to wake up) or should one not chase it? | |||
"Yes, but in hindsight I’m glad it came to nothing. " No regrets at all? | |||
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""Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a "vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist." It's interesting that saudade accommodates in one word the haunting desire for a lost love, or for an imaginary, impossible, never-to-be-experienced love. Whether the object has been lost or will never exist, it feels the same to the seeker, and leaves them in the same place: They have a desire with no future. Saudade doesn't distinguish between a ghost, and a fantasy. Nor do our broken hearts, much of the time." Have you experienced the exquisite pain of saudade? The yearn and loss of something you've not had or the absence of an actual lost love? " Oh yes, my last two exes were Portuguese and Brazilian, so, the word is/was rather poignant to me. | |||
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"Yes, but in hindsight I’m glad it came to nothing. No regrets at all?" None. No regrets. | |||
and not always a sad thing. It's a feeling that can be drawn upon for a warm glow, an invisible hug.
And it's a great word 
Peach x | |||
"Yes, but in hindsight I’m glad it came to nothing. " For the one that never was, I agree with this. For the lost love that was maliciously and jealously taken away I often wondered what if... | |||
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"This is a word and sentiment very close to my heart, in all sorts of ways and for all sorts of reasons, especially today! " How serendipitous! Are you ok? | |||
""Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a "vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist." It's interesting that saudade accommodates in one word the haunting desire for a lost love, or for an imaginary, impossible, never-to-be-experienced love. Whether the object has been lost or will never exist, it feels the same to the seeker, and leaves them in the same place: They have a desire with no future. Saudade doesn't distinguish between a ghost, and a fantasy. Nor do our broken hearts, much of the time." Have you experienced the exquisite pain of saudade? The yearn and loss of something you've not had or the absence of an actual lost love? Oh yes, my last two exes were Portuguese and Brazilian, so, the word is/was rather poignant to me. " Aha! | |||
"It's a beautiful ache and not always a sad thing. It's a feeling that can be drawn upon for a warm glow, an invisible hug.
And it's a great word
Peach x"Yes and really no easy way to translate it | |||
"Once and it left me broken for a good few years "Hugs | |||
"Yes, but in hindsight I’m glad it came to nothing. No regrets at all? None. No regrets."  | |||
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"It's a beautiful ache and not always a sad thing. It's a feeling that can be drawn upon for a warm glow, an invisible hug.
And it's a great word
Peach x"I agree. I find it an indulgent comforting pain/yearn not necessarily good or bad but like a time out and a necessary memory but also a safe place. It's confusing. | |||
"Yes, but in hindsight I’m glad it came to nothing. For the one that never was, I agree with this. For the lost love that was maliciously and jealously taken away I often wondered what if..." Nods | |||
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" I think we all believe we've felt it, and it would be arrogant and dismissive of me to claim that many of us are mistaken, but I think lots are. As stated above the word hiraeth has similar meaning. I've felt sadness and felt lost when I've lost people or places have been left behind thousands of miles away, but you know for sure when you have that true feeling in you. A feeling you won't let fade, regardless of opportunities and paths to take. It's bitter, it's sweet and it's all consuming but cometh the hour I'll smile and know I once had it and it was so perfect." Ooooft. Yes. | |||
"God yeah what a beautiful word to describe it. I messed up my world in a big way and have had this feeling for ages. I’m hopefully coming out the other side and have the feeling that life is going to be good again. " It will be... time heals all eventually fella | |||
"I had a dream once, it involved a man. I never saw his face and it wasn't a sexual dream at all. More of a romantic air to it, but i couldn't remember details. When i woke from the dream i had a terrible sense of loss. I felt weepy all day. And i have no idea why. It wasn't a man i knew/recognised. But i've never had that feeling since. Was very unsettling. Silly really i guess. I think that's the closest i've ever come to it." Not silly at all. | |||
"I guess this also covers the loss of something you thought would be. Like when you fall head over heels and have such great hopes and expectations for a person or a dream in life but it just doesnt work out. That disappointment when you realise its not what you hoped it would be can be devastating. " Exactly. It can be. | |||
"God yeah what a beautiful word to describe it. I messed up my world in a big way and have had this feeling for ages. I’m hopefully coming out the other side and have the feeling that life is going to be good again. It will be... time heals all eventually fella " | |||
"The love that remains after someone is gone. Yes I’ve experienced it. It hurts and is difficult to explain to someone that hasn’t experienced it. " Nods. It's a sound that is impossible to form. | |||
"God yeah what a beautiful word to describe it. I messed up my world in a big way and have had this feeling for ages. I’m hopefully coming out the other side and have the feeling that life is going to be good again. " Hugs. Keep going. | |||
"Depends...does it require romantic love, or is it love in a more general sense? Both, for sure." Well then, yes I have. I don't much like it and I think it promotes, in myself anyway, a sense of stagnation. | |||
"I guess this also covers the loss of something you thought would be. Like when you fall head over heels and have such great hopes and expectations for a person or a dream in life but it just doesnt work out. That disappointment when you realise its not what you hoped it would be can be devastating. " You've summed up what I was going to say, better than me | |||
"Yes. It's a similar feel to the Welsh hiraeth.
Is it healthy to try and dive into this feeling (like trying to hang on to a dream you're enjoying as you start to wake up) or should one not chase it? "Hmm. I believe in a good wallow every now and then since denying it leads to it niggling. Similar to a bruise. You know when you have one and you prod it because even though it hurts it's a sweet pain - but if you catch it unexpectedly it makes you gasp in ouchy shock? I think of choosing to have a good wallow as the former rather than the latter. | |||
"It's a beautiful ache and not always a sad thing. It's a feeling that can be drawn upon for a warm glow, an invisible hug.
And it's a great word
Peach x"Yeah so true  sometimes you have to celebrate the moments we did have in each other’s company in that scenario
Choc x | |||
"Depends...does it require romantic love, or is it love in a more general sense? Both, for sure. Well then, yes I have. I don't much like it and I think it promotes, in myself anyway, a sense of stagnation. " I know what you mean. I've reconciled that fear of stagnating feeling as there being something I'm learning still, or being reminded of to be careful of currently. There is, however, in my opinion also a happiness or familiarity in jumping back (trip down memory lane-esque) aspect that I don't find negative and somewhat enjoyable to indulge in. | |||
"Yes. It's a similar feel to the Welsh hiraeth.
Is it healthy to try and dive into this feeling (like trying to hang on to a dream you're enjoying as you start to wake up) or should one not chase it?
Hmm. I believe in a good wallow every now and then since denying it leads to it niggling. Similar to a bruise. You know when you have one and you prod it because even though it hurts it's a sweet pain - but if you catch it unexpectedly it makes you gasp in ouchy shock? I think of choosing to have a good wallow as the former rather than the latter. "This... you need to process it and move on or it will fester and mess you up | |||
"I guess this also covers the loss of something you thought would be. Like when you fall head over heels and have such great hopes and expectations for a person or a dream in life but it just doesnt work out. That disappointment when you realise its not what you hoped it would be can be devastating. You've summed up what I was going to say, better than me " | |||
"Yes. It's a similar feel to the Welsh hiraeth.
Is it healthy to try and dive into this feeling (like trying to hang on to a dream you're enjoying as you start to wake up) or should one not chase it?
Hmm. I believe in a good wallow every now and then since denying it leads to it niggling. Similar to a bruise. You know when you have one and you prod it because even though it hurts it's a sweet pain - but if you catch it unexpectedly it makes you gasp in ouchy shock? I think of choosing to have a good wallow as the former rather than the latter. "Perfectly put. Yes! | |||
"It's a beautiful ache and not always a sad thing. It's a feeling that can be drawn upon for a warm glow, an invisible hug.
And it's a great word
Peach x
Yeah so true sometimes you have to celebrate the moments we did have in each other’s company in that scenario
Choc x" | |||
"Depends...does it require romantic love, or is it love in a more general sense? Both, for sure. Well then, yes I have. I don't much like it and I think it promotes, in myself anyway, a sense of stagnation. I know what you mean. I've reconciled that fear of stagnating feeling as there being something I'm learning still, or being reminded of to be careful of currently. There is, however, in my opinion also a happiness or familiarity in jumping back (trip down memory lane-esque) aspect that I don't find negative and somewhat enjoyable to indulge in. " Yes, I see what you mean. In my case, I'm thinking of the loss of a loved one. It can be nice to stew in the feeling for a bit, but in the past I've let it get the best of me to the point where I was unhappy (and probably unhealthy). So now I just avoid it completely. | |||
"Depends...does it require romantic love, or is it love in a more general sense? Both, for sure. Well then, yes I have. I don't much like it and I think it promotes, in myself anyway, a sense of stagnation. I know what you mean. I've reconciled that fear of stagnating feeling as there being something I'm learning still, or being reminded of to be careful of currently. There is, however, in my opinion also a happiness or familiarity in jumping back (trip down memory lane-esque) aspect that I don't find negative and somewhat enjoyable to indulge in. Yes, I see what you mean. In my case, I'm thinking of the loss of a loved one. It can be nice to stew in the feeling for a bit, but in the past I've let it get the best of me to the point where I was unhappy (and probably unhealthy). So now I just avoid it completely." That makes sense. Hugs. | |||
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""Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a "vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist." It's interesting that saudade accommodates in one word the haunting desire for a lost love, or for an imaginary, impossible, never-to-be-experienced love. Whether the object has been lost or will never exist, it feels the same to the seeker, and leaves them in the same place: They have a desire with no future. Saudade doesn't distinguish between a ghost, and a fantasy. Nor do our broken hearts, much of the time." Have you experienced the exquisite pain of saudade? The yearn and loss of something you've not had or the absence of an actual lost love? " This has to be a philosophical thought as it's not based on experience. I have had both. Both bring a sense of loss/grief but actual loss is accompanied by memories with strong emotions attached. The yearning for love is an emptiness, an assumption. Something I cannot experience again as I have now have had what I previously yearned for. However, I can still grieve for the loss of my first love. | |||
"Yes definitely! Since 25.09.2017 "Awwww. Is there no pleasure in the feeling for you at all? | |||
""Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a "vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist." It's interesting that saudade accommodates in one word the haunting desire for a lost love, or for an imaginary, impossible, never-to-be-experienced love. Whether the object has been lost or will never exist, it feels the same to the seeker, and leaves them in the same place: They have a desire with no future. Saudade doesn't distinguish between a ghost, and a fantasy. Nor do our broken hearts, much of the time." Have you experienced the exquisite pain of saudade? The yearn and loss of something you've not had or the absence of an actual lost love? This has to be a philosophical thought as it's not based on experience. I have had both. Both bring a sense of loss/grief but actual loss is accompanied by memories with strong emotions attached. The yearning for love is an emptiness, an assumption. Something I cannot experience again as I have now have had what I previously yearned for. However, I can still grieve for the loss of my first love." You can yearn for a love with someone you've not met yet without negating having had love previously elsewhere. | |||
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"Prob not in the sense you mean, romantically .However i miss the ones I loved who have passed now ,everyday and it still hurts at times. Miss" That's still very much the feels. | |||
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""Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a "vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist." It's interesting that saudade accommodates in one word the haunting desire for a lost love, or for an imaginary, impossible, never-to-be-experienced love. Whether the object has been lost or will never exist, it feels the same to the seeker, and leaves them in the same place: They have a desire with no future. Saudade doesn't distinguish between a ghost, and a fantasy. Nor do our broken hearts, much of the time." Have you experienced the exquisite pain of saudade? The yearn and loss of something you've not had or the absence of an actual lost love? This has to be a philosophical thought as it's not based on experience. I have had both. Both bring a sense of loss/grief but actual loss is accompanied by memories with strong emotions attached. The yearning for love is an emptiness, an assumption. Something I cannot experience again as I have now have had what I previously yearned for. However, I can still grieve for the loss of my first love. You can yearn for a love with someone you've not met yet without negating having had love previously elsewhere. " My POV from experience is that I can yearn for a love again (and have) and yes it doesn't negate a previous love, in fact the previous love is my point of reference. My point is that it is totally different from my first yearning (and my lost love). | |||
"Yes in both contexts. My first love, who passed away (so is truly lost), and another where we're at opposite ends of the country, with full lives and grown up commitments, so it will never quite have the opportunity of being what it should be. There's pain and bliss in both of those. Best to focus only on the bliss I find "Absolutely. | |||
""Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a "vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist." It's interesting that saudade accommodates in one word the haunting desire for a lost love, or for an imaginary, impossible, never-to-be-experienced love. Whether the object has been lost or will never exist, it feels the same to the seeker, and leaves them in the same place: They have a desire with no future. Saudade doesn't distinguish between a ghost, and a fantasy. Nor do our broken hearts, much of the time." Have you experienced the exquisite pain of saudade? The yearn and loss of something you've not had or the absence of an actual lost love? This has to be a philosophical thought as it's not based on experience. I have had both. Both bring a sense of loss/grief but actual loss is accompanied by memories with strong emotions attached. The yearning for love is an emptiness, an assumption. Something I cannot experience again as I have now have had what I previously yearned for. However, I can still grieve for the loss of my first love. You can yearn for a love with someone you've not met yet without negating having had love previously elsewhere. My POV from experience is that I can yearn for a love again (and have) and yes it doesn't negate a previous love, in fact the previous love is my point of reference. My point is that it is totally different from my first yearning (and my lost love)." So you disagree with the concept proposed in the quote. Fair enough. | |||
"Yes. It's a similar feel to the Welsh hiraeth.
Is it healthy to try and dive into this feeling (like trying to hang on to a dream you're enjoying as you start to wake up) or should one not chase it? "I never felt much love as a child which resulted in me marrying someone abusive. My yearning did not help me to be proactive in changing my circumstances. It was painful to acknowledge my emptiness and needs. In fact pending motherhood for the third time in a weakened state pushed me to end the nightmare. Oddly enough now, that emptiness would cause me to be proactive as I recognize the value of self. | |||
"Yes. It's a similar feel to the Welsh hiraeth.
Is it healthy to try and dive into this feeling (like trying to hang on to a dream you're enjoying as you start to wake up) or should one not chase it?
I never felt much love as a child which resulted in me marrying someone abusive. My yearning did not help me to be proactive in changing my circumstances. It was painful to acknowledge my emptiness and needs. In fact pending motherhood for the third time in a weakened state pushed me to end the nightmare.
Oddly enough now, that emptiness would cause me to be proactive as I recognize the value of self.
"I'm not sure it's the same feeling that the concept of saudade is that you're referencing. | |||
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"Interesting stelly, although I cannot relate to this in a relationship aspect as I’m still very much part of my first and so far only love I feel I can relate to the feeling on another level. Since age and injury put paid to my sporting career I do go through periods of painful longing, it does effect me deeply and sometimes the feeling is overwhelming, so much so that I do on occasion question whether I’ll ever be truly happy again. Apologies if this doesn’t apply or isn’t the kind of reply you were looking for " No, I think that makes sense. It's the longing part and the what could have been. | |||
"I had a dream once, it involved a man. I never saw his face and it wasn't a sexual dream at all. More of a romantic air to it, but i couldn't remember details. When i woke from the dream i had a terrible sense of loss. I felt weepy all day. And i have no idea why. It wasn't a man i knew/recognised. But i've never had that feeling since. Was very unsettling. Silly really i guess. I think that's the closest i've ever come to it." At the time of my emptiness (no love, yearning for love) I had three dreams, involving different time periods. I believe these were messages from previous lives to tell me I have loved and lost. Perhaps to tell me i will love (and lose) again (which i did). I have grown from these. The greatest love, is to love yourself. | |||
"I had a dream once, it involved a man. I never saw his face and it wasn't a sexual dream at all. More of a romantic air to it, but i couldn't remember details. When i woke from the dream i had a terrible sense of loss. I felt weepy all day. And i have no idea why. It wasn't a man i knew/recognised. But i've never had that feeling since. Was very unsettling. Silly really i guess. I think that's the closest i've ever come to it. At the time of my emptiness (no love, yearning for love) I had three dreams, involving different time periods. I believe these were messages from previous lives to tell me I have loved and lost. Perhaps to tell me i will love (and lose) again (which i did). I have grown from these. The greatest love, is to love yourself." I remember the last dream as though it was a memory and is poignant to my life. | |||
""Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a "vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist." It's interesting that saudade accommodates in one word the haunting desire for a lost love, or for an imaginary, impossible, never-to-be-experienced love. Whether the object has been lost or will never exist, it feels the same to the seeker, and leaves them in the same place: They have a desire with no future. Saudade doesn't distinguish between a ghost, and a fantasy. Nor do our broken hearts, much of the time." Have you experienced the exquisite pain of saudade? The yearn and loss of something you've not had or the absence of an actual lost love? This has to be a philosophical thought as it's not based on experience. I have had both. Both bring a sense of loss/grief but actual loss is accompanied by memories with strong emotions attached. The yearning for love is an emptiness, an assumption. Something I cannot experience again as I have now have had what I previously yearned for. However, I can still grieve for the loss of my first love. You can yearn for a love with someone you've not met yet without negating having had love previously elsewhere. My POV from experience is that I can yearn for a love again (and have) and yes it doesn't negate a previous love, in fact the previous love is my point of reference. My point is that it is totally different from my first yearning (and my lost love). So you disagree with the concept proposed in the quote. Fair enough. " Yes I disagree with it feeling the same to the person, simply because we (should) evolve from all our experiences. | |||
""Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a "vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist." It's interesting that saudade accommodates in one word the haunting desire for a lost love, or for an imaginary, impossible, never-to-be-experienced love. Whether the object has been lost or will never exist, it feels the same to the seeker, and leaves them in the same place: They have a desire with no future. Saudade doesn't distinguish between a ghost, and a fantasy. Nor do our broken hearts, much of the time." Have you experienced the exquisite pain of saudade? The yearn and loss of something you've not had or the absence of an actual lost love? This has to be a philosophical thought as it's not based on experience. I have had both. Both bring a sense of loss/grief but actual loss is accompanied by memories with strong emotions attached. The yearning for love is an emptiness, an assumption. Something I cannot experience again as I have now have had what I previously yearned for. However, I can still grieve for the loss of my first love. You can yearn for a love with someone you've not met yet without negating having had love previously elsewhere. My POV from experience is that I can yearn for a love again (and have) and yes it doesn't negate a previous love, in fact the previous love is my point of reference. My point is that it is totally different from my first yearning (and my lost love). So you disagree with the concept proposed in the quote. Fair enough. Yes I disagree with it feeling the same to the person, simply because we (should) evolve from all our experiences." That's not what it's talking about though. | |||
"Yes. It's a similar feel to the Welsh hiraeth.
Is it healthy to try and dive into this feeling (like trying to hang on to a dream you're enjoying as you start to wake up) or should one not chase it?
I never felt much love as a child which resulted in me marrying someone abusive. My yearning did not help me to be proactive in changing my circumstances. It was painful to acknowledge my emptiness and needs. In fact pending motherhood for the third time in a weakened state pushed me to end the nightmare.
Oddly enough now, that emptiness would cause me to be proactive as I recognize the value of self.
I'm not sure it's the same feeling that the concept of saudade is that you're referencing. "The yearning for (a) love that I had never had, longing to love and be loved? Not knowing whether it would ever materialise? I think it matches up with what you've described. | |||
""Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a "vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist." It's interesting that saudade accommodates in one word the haunting desire for a lost love, or for an imaginary, impossible, never-to-be-experienced love. Whether the object has been lost or will never exist, it feels the same to the seeker, and leaves them in the same place: They have a desire with no future. Saudade doesn't distinguish between a ghost, and a fantasy. Nor do our broken hearts, much of the time." Have you experienced the exquisite pain of saudade? The yearn and loss of something you've not had or the absence of an actual lost love? This has to be a philosophical thought as it's not based on experience. I have had both. Both bring a sense of loss/grief but actual loss is accompanied by memories with strong emotions attached. The yearning for love is an emptiness, an assumption. Something I cannot experience again as I have now have had what I previously yearned for. However, I can still grieve for the loss of my first love. You can yearn for a love with someone you've not met yet without negating having had love previously elsewhere. My POV from experience is that I can yearn for a love again (and have) and yes it doesn't negate a previous love, in fact the previous love is my point of reference. My point is that it is totally different from my first yearning (and my lost love). So you disagree with the concept proposed in the quote. Fair enough. Yes I disagree with it feeling the same to the person, simply because we (should) evolve from all our experiences. That's not what it's talking about though. " Feel free to elucidate. | |||
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""Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a "vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist." It's interesting that saudade accommodates in one word the haunting desire for a lost love, or for an imaginary, impossible, never-to-be-experienced love. Whether the object has been lost or will never exist, it feels the same to the seeker, and leaves them in the same place: They have a desire with no future. Saudade doesn't distinguish between a ghost, and a fantasy. Nor do our broken hearts, much of the time." Have you experienced the exquisite pain of saudade? The yearn and loss of something you've not had or the absence of an actual lost love? This has to be a philosophical thought as it's not based on experience. I have had both. Both bring a sense of loss/grief but actual loss is accompanied by memories with strong emotions attached. The yearning for love is an emptiness, an assumption. Something I cannot experience again as I have now have had what I previously yearned for. However, I can still grieve for the loss of my first love. You can yearn for a love with someone you've not met yet without negating having had love previously elsewhere. My POV from experience is that I can yearn for a love again (and have) and yes it doesn't negate a previous love, in fact the previous love is my point of reference. My point is that it is totally different from my first yearning (and my lost love). So you disagree with the concept proposed in the quote. Fair enough. Yes I disagree with it feeling the same to the person, simply because we (should) evolve from all our experiences. That's not what it's talking about though. Feel free to elucidate." It's merely suggesting the same pull of emotions can occur for something real and lost as for something unreal and hoped for. You're extrapolating. | |||
"The French have a term for that feeling you get when your standing on top of something tall and your brain just tells you to jump, or step out infront of a car or something of that sort. It's something that happens to everyone for no apparent reason, its l'appel du vide, or in English, the call of the void. I've felt this one much more than the one you speak of" I know that feeling, but hadn't known the French phrase -- that's a beautiful description of it. Thank you. | |||
"The French have a term for that feeling you get when your standing on top of something tall and your brain just tells you to jump, or step out infront of a car or something of that sort. It's something that happens to everyone for no apparent reason, its l'appel du vide, or in English, the call of the void. I've felt this one much more than the one you speak of I know that feeling, but hadn't known the French phrase -- that's a beautiful description of it. Thank you. " That is indeed beautiful and highly recognisable | |||
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"Not for a person but a place , somewhere I've visited several times and from the very first moment I stepped off the plane it felt like home and I have a terrible feeling of sadness every time I leave and yearn for the next time I can return " Oh, can we ask where? | |||
"Not for a person but a place , somewhere I've visited several times and from the very first moment I stepped off the plane it felt like home and I have a terrible feeling of sadness every time I leave and yearn for the next time I can return Oh, can we ask where? " Cleethorpes | |||
"Yes definitely! Since 25.09.2017
Awwww. Is there no pleasure in the feeling for you at all? "Unfortunately not, a year of struggling with depression and anxiety, i do not live my life, i dont have one, i merely exist from 1 day to the next and its soul destroying. | |||
"" It's merely suggesting the same pull of emotions can occur for something real and lost as for something unreal and hoped for. You're extrapolating." Yeah I can see how it pulls on the same/similar emotions but the consequential behaviour can be different and in turn emotions from the resulting behaviour will be different. It's very subjective discussing emotions, for example, both losing a love and yearning for a love can produce sadness but other emotions may accompany them - one may have have a hopefulness and the other a helplessness... And I'm probably still not getting my point across  | |||
"Yes definitely! Since 25.09.2017
Awwww. Is there no pleasure in the feeling for you at all?
Unfortunately not, a year of struggling with depression and anxiety, i do not live my life, i dont have one, i merely exist from 1 day to the next and its soul destroying."Mindfulness The charity MIND Sleep hygiene Exercise Talking therapies Medications Support Value yourself and every step into recovery no matter how small. Don't isolate yourself. Take up a hobby. Distraction techniques. Recognize your qualities as well as your foibles. Proper nutrition. Avoid mood hoovers/vampires (people who zap your emotions and bring you down). Find the silver lining in every cloud... There is one. There is light at the end of the tunnel, we just don't know how long the tunnel is. | |||
"The French have a term for that feeling you get when your standing on top of something tall and your brain just tells you to jump, or step out infront of a car or something of that sort. It's something that happens to everyone for no apparent reason, its l'appel du vide, or in English, the call of the void. I've felt this one much more than the one you speak of I know that feeling, but hadn't known the French phrase -- that's a beautiful description of it. Thank you. " Not a problem, I always find it interesting where other countries and cultures have terms for things that we may all feel at some point but do not have a term or ability to describe it in English | |||
"Yes definitely! Since 25.09.2017
Awwww. Is there no pleasure in the feeling for you at all?
Unfortunately not, a year of struggling with depression and anxiety, i do not live my life, i dont have one, i merely exist from 1 day to the next and its soul destroying.
Mindfulness
The charity MIND
Sleep hygiene
Exercise
Talking therapies
Medications
Support
Value yourself and every step into recovery no matter how small.
Don't isolate yourself.
Take up a hobby.
Distraction techniques.
Recognize your qualities as well as your foibles.
Proper nutrition.
Avoid mood hoovers/vampires (people who zap your emotions and bring you down).
Find the silver lining in every cloud... There is one.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, we just don't know how long the tunnel is."I listen to a guided sleep meditation every night to get to sleep, the mindful way through depression by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I sleep to much, dont eat enough, counselling didn't help it made me feel worse, I'm on various meds and have monthly GP reviews, isolated myself a long time ago then started going out to the pub once a fortnight (fab group socials) but I've slipped due to time of year and isolated again, my social circle is the fab forums. I paint when I have motivation like i have today. I have No self confidence or self worth. My only normality is for 3hrs a day mon-fri when I have my 2 little kids and that's a struggle sometimes, but they give me a hug and wipe my tears for me, I hate them seeing me like that but can't always hide it, especially when my arm shakes with anxiety. I do the best I can, its just not good enough, i do try tho | |||
"Yes definitely! Since 25.09.2017
Awwww. Is there no pleasure in the feeling for you at all?
Unfortunately not, a year of struggling with depression and anxiety, i do not live my life, i dont have one, i merely exist from 1 day to the next and its soul destroying.
Mindfulness
The charity MIND
Sleep hygiene
Exercise
Talking therapies
Medications
Support
Value yourself and every step into recovery no matter how small.
Don't isolate yourself.
Take up a hobby.
Distraction techniques.
Recognize your qualities as well as your foibles.
Proper nutrition.
Avoid mood hoovers/vampires (people who zap your emotions and bring you down).
Find the silver lining in every cloud... There is one.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, we just don't know how long the tunnel is.
I listen to a guided sleep meditation every night to get to sleep, the mindful way through depression by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I sleep to much, dont eat enough, counselling didn't help it made me feel worse, I'm on various meds and have monthly GP reviews, isolated myself a long time ago then started going out to the pub once a fortnight (fab group socials) but I've slipped due to time of year and isolated again, my social circle is the fab forums. I paint when I have motivation like i have today. I have No self confidence or self worth. My only normality is for 3hrs a day mon-fri when I have my 2 little kids and that's a struggle sometimes, but they give me a hug and wipe my tears for me, I hate them seeing me like that but can't always hide it, especially when my arm shakes with anxiety. I do the best I can, its just not good enough, i do try tho "Counselling can make you feel worse initially. It can also be exhausting. Try to stick at it. Be your own best friend and wise counsel. Know this state of being is not going to last forever. | |||
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"Yes definitely! Since 25.09.2017
Awwww. Is there no pleasure in the feeling for you at all?
Unfortunately not, a year of struggling with depression and anxiety, i do not live my life, i dont have one, i merely exist from 1 day to the next and its soul destroying.
Mindfulness
The charity MIND
Sleep hygiene
Exercise
Talking therapies
Medications
Support
Value yourself and every step into recovery no matter how small.
Don't isolate yourself.
Take up a hobby.
Distraction techniques.
Recognize your qualities as well as your foibles.
Proper nutrition.
Avoid mood hoovers/vampires (people who zap your emotions and bring you down).
Find the silver lining in every cloud... There is one.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, we just don't know how long the tunnel is.
I listen to a guided sleep meditation every night to get to sleep, the mindful way through depression by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I sleep to much, dont eat enough, counselling didn't help it made me feel worse, I'm on various meds and have monthly GP reviews, isolated myself a long time ago then started going out to the pub once a fortnight (fab group socials) but I've slipped due to time of year and isolated again, my social circle is the fab forums. I paint when I have motivation like i have today. I have No self confidence or self worth. My only normality is for 3hrs a day mon-fri when I have my 2 little kids and that's a struggle sometimes, but they give me a hug and wipe my tears for me, I hate them seeing me like that but can't always hide it, especially when my arm shakes with anxiety. I do the best I can, its just not good enough, i do try tho
Counselling can make you feel worse initially. It can also be exhausting. Try to stick at it.
Be your own best friend and wise counsel.
Know this state of being is not going to last forever."I did online CBT sessions and they were pointless before i had a breakdoen. I saw a counsellor for about a year but it would take me 3 weeks to recover from each monthly session and I couldn't face going anymore. Occasionally I will open up on here like I am doing now, it helps a little but i have to be in the right frame if mind to talk. I have a plan in place to emotionally open up to others in a few weeks and I'm hoping it will do some good. | |||
" have a plan in place to emotionally open up to others in a few weeks and I'm hoping it will do some good." as you're someone who's been coping with this for a not inconsiderable time, and accessing professional health services already, I wouldn't dream of patronising you with information that of course you'll be aware of. Good on you for having a plan. It's fucking hard. You're doing amazingly. | |||
" have a plan in place to emotionally open up to others in a few weeks and I'm hoping it will do some good. as you're someone who's been coping with this for a not inconsiderable time, and accessing professional health services already, I wouldn't dream of patronising you with information that of course you'll be aware of. Good on you for having a plan. It's fucking hard. You're doing amazingly." Thank you I really appreciate that, but i really aren't | |||
"She lives 2 miles away from me, I see her at least twice a week, whenever I see her I want her to be a complete bitch to me, just so that I find it easier to let her go, but she wouldn't know how, she loves me, I can't let her get hurt by me, she's such a gentle soul, our world's are the same geographically, but when it comes to the people we have grown to be, we are poles apart. So yeah, that yearning for what can never be is real, and can last over 25 years, but you get used to it and work around it, forcing it out of your mind with other things " That's so poignantly beautiful. The French have a term for I miss you but it translates to "you are missing from my life" which I think is beautifully sad. I had a moment at the tender age of 16 towards the end of a beautiful day spent with my first boyfriend. I was looking out at the view and he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me resting his head on my shoulder. No words were spoken but a sense of calm, belonging and safety came over me and I thought this is a moment I will always remember and I have. It makes me smile now but for year's it didn't as I felt it highlighted what was missing from my life. A beautiful word Estella, thank you. How is it pronounced? Madame Boo | |||
"Yes definitely! Since 25.09.2017
Awwww. Is there no pleasure in the feeling for you at all?
Unfortunately not, a year of struggling with depression and anxiety, i do not live my life, i dont have one, i merely exist from 1 day to the next and its soul destroying.
Mindfulness
The charity MIND
Sleep hygiene
Exercise
Talking therapies
Medications
Support
Value yourself and every step into recovery no matter how small.
Don't isolate yourself.
Take up a hobby.
Distraction techniques.
Recognize your qualities as well as your foibles.
Proper nutrition.
Avoid mood hoovers/vampires (people who zap your emotions and bring you down).
Find the silver lining in every cloud... There is one.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, we just don't know how long the tunnel is.
I listen to a guided sleep meditation every night to get to sleep, the mindful way through depression by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I sleep to much, dont eat enough, counselling didn't help it made me feel worse, I'm on various meds and have monthly GP reviews, isolated myself a long time ago then started going out to the pub once a fortnight (fab group socials) but I've slipped due to time of year and isolated again, my social circle is the fab forums. I paint when I have motivation like i have today. I have No self confidence or self worth. My only normality is for 3hrs a day mon-fri when I have my 2 little kids and that's a struggle sometimes, but they give me a hug and wipe my tears for me, I hate them seeing me like that but can't always hide it, especially when my arm shakes with anxiety. I do the best I can, its just not good enough, i do try tho
Counselling can make you feel worse initially. It can also be exhausting. Try to stick at it.
Be your own best friend and wise counsel.
Know this state of being is not going to last forever.
I did online CBT sessions and they were pointless before i had a breakdoen. I saw a counsellor for about a year but it would take me 3 weeks to recover from each monthly session and I couldn't face going anymore. Occasionally I will open up on here like I am doing now, it helps a little but i have to be in the right frame if mind to talk. I have a plan in place to emotionally open up to others in a few weeks and I'm hoping it will do some good."Going to Counselling can be like picking at scabs. Until you start picking at it, you don't know how deep it can go and how painful it can be. Which is why some people are in therapy for years. You're being proactive, which is excellent - harping back to my list, I stated something about recognising each step of your recovery, no matter how small. During the journey of depression, you will not recognize the strength you have to get through it. Once the journey has reached its destination, you will | |||
"I guess this also covers the loss of something you thought would be. Like when you fall head over heels and have such great hopes and expectations for a person or a dream in life but it just doesnt work out. That disappointment when you realise its not what you hoped it would be can be devastating. " This yes. But lost lust not love. | |||
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"Yes definitely! Since 25.09.2017
Awwww. Is there no pleasure in the feeling for you at all?
Unfortunately not, a year of struggling with depression and anxiety, i do not live my life, i dont have one, i merely exist from 1 day to the next and its soul destroying.
Mindfulness
The charity MIND
Sleep hygiene
Exercise
Talking therapies
Medications
Support
Value yourself and every step into recovery no matter how small.
Don't isolate yourself.
Take up a hobby.
Distraction techniques.
Recognize your qualities as well as your foibles.
Proper nutrition.
Avoid mood hoovers/vampires (people who zap your emotions and bring you down).
Find the silver lining in every cloud... There is one.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, we just don't know how long the tunnel is.
I listen to a guided sleep meditation every night to get to sleep, the mindful way through depression by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I sleep to much, dont eat enough, counselling didn't help it made me feel worse, I'm on various meds and have monthly GP reviews, isolated myself a long time ago then started going out to the pub once a fortnight (fab group socials) but I've slipped due to time of year and isolated again, my social circle is the fab forums. I paint when I have motivation like i have today. I have No self confidence or self worth. My only normality is for 3hrs a day mon-fri when I have my 2 little kids and that's a struggle sometimes, but they give me a hug and wipe my tears for me, I hate them seeing me like that but can't always hide it, especially when my arm shakes with anxiety. I do the best I can, its just not good enough, i do try tho
Counselling can make you feel worse initially. It can also be exhausting. Try to stick at it.
Be your own best friend and wise counsel.
Know this state of being is not going to last forever.
I did online CBT sessions and they were pointless before i had a breakdoen. I saw a counsellor for about a year but it would take me 3 weeks to recover from each monthly session and I couldn't face going anymore. Occasionally I will open up on here like I am doing now, it helps a little but i have to be in the right frame if mind to talk. I have a plan in place to emotionally open up to others in a few weeks and I'm hoping it will do some good.
Going to Counselling can be like picking at scabs. Until you start picking at it, you don't know how deep it can go and how painful it can be. Which is why some people are in therapy for years.
You're being proactive, which is excellent - harping back to my list, I stated something about recognising each step of your recovery, no matter how small.
During the journey of depression, you will not recognize the strength you have to get through it. Once the journey has reached its destination, you will "I keep telling myself I'm stronger than I think, I may believe myself one day. I've come a long way but slipping back down is scary, disheartening and makes me feel worthless some days. | |||
" have a plan in place to emotionally open up to others in a few weeks and I'm hoping it will do some good. as you're someone who's been coping with this for a not inconsiderable time, and accessing professional health services already, I wouldn't dream of patronising you with information that of course you'll be aware of. Good on you for having a plan. It's fucking hard. You're doing amazingly. Thank you I really appreciate that, but i really aren't "You really are. You're alive. You're doing brilliant. | |||
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"Yes I've felt this very deeply over the last year. I've posted on it under https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/stories/540852. It gets better over time but there is still deep loss and regret there and not a day goes by where I don't think of him. What I had was so wonderful and deeply connected then just ripped away from me, it's left a void in my life. " Not so secretly a softie | |||
" have a plan in place to emotionally open up to others in a few weeks and I'm hoping it will do some good. as you're someone who's been coping with this for a not inconsiderable time, and accessing professional health services already, I wouldn't dream of patronising you with information that of course you'll be aware of. Good on you for having a plan. It's fucking hard. You're doing amazingly. Thank you I really appreciate that, but i really aren't
You really are. You're alive. You're doing brilliant."Thank you so much  | |||
"Never mind, looked it up. Sow da ché it sounds as good as it's meaning." Sorry, I was elsewhere when you asked! | |||
"Never mind, looked it up. Sow da ché it sounds as good as it's meaning. Sorry, I was elsewhere when you asked! "No problem I love pronunciation and accents...one of my quirks | |||
