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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As it’s Thirsday and I believe ranting posts are the norm today I thought I’d throw mine in. It’s more of a moan than rant.
I understand that people are popular and get lots of messages but I must have the ability to message those types as I find a lot of my messages go unread.
What makes messages stand out from the rest? Or do people look at the avatar and decide not to read those messages?
I always give the benefit of the doubt and think they will come back to read mine. But they never do.
ok Rant/moan over. I’ll go back to looking at profiles and fabbing a few pics now.
Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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maybe i dont need to reply to every message on here!
and do you respond to every junk email, junk mail through the door and unsolicited phone calls hmmm? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to look at location and age and then if they match what I'm looking for I'll check the profile before deciding whether to open a message.
If there's no pics on profile and I can see there's not one attached I might not open it unless the bit of message I can see looks enticing.
I also am unlikely to open a short hi or how are you message unless something in the profile has tempted me. |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"Always wondered myself. What's perhaps more intriguing is when they are read and retained. Again, you're left wondering if they plan to follow up later ..... still waiting 
"
Maybe they’ve read your message and read your profile and veris and their veris and then real life beckons so they have to go do something else. Then by the time they get back to fab, they’ve had another 50- 100 message so your’s gets lost. It does happen believe me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm guilty of looking at profile before I read messages. And you have a few things on your profile that may put *some* people off .. and I have to admit I'm very bad at deleting messages!  "
Thanks for the advice. I am going to edit my profile anyway to remove what I suspect could be putting some off. But I’d rather keep one thing on as I’d like to be honest. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"maybe i dont need to reply to every message on here!
and do you respond to every junk email, junk mail through the door and unsolicited phone calls hmmm?"
Thank you for your evocative reply. I’ll adopt our ethos to all of my work emails.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Always wondered myself. What's perhaps more intriguing is when they are read and retained. Again, you're left wondering if they plan to follow up later ..... still waiting
"
That happens too.
At the end of the day it’s just missed opportunities on both sides. |
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"As it’s Thirsday and I believe ranting posts are the norm today I thought I’d throw mine in. It’s more of a moan than rant.
I understand that people are popular and get lots of messages but I must have the ability to message those types as I find a lot of my messages go unread.
What makes messages stand out from the rest? Or do people look at the avatar and decide not to read those messages?
I always give the benefit of the doubt and think they will come back to read mine. But they never do.
ok Rant/moan over. I’ll go back to looking at profiles and fabbing a few pics now.
Thanks"
Op I suspect that you may be having difficulty meeting people due to being married. However, please don't remove this when you revamp your profile. I applaud your honesty!
While meeting attached people is not for everyone, there will be people who are ok with it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think people tend to look at a profile before reading messages,we do anyway.
Miss"
Ok. At least you know where you stand when you see the message is deleted. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Op I suspect that you may be having difficulty meeting people due to being married. However, please don't remove this when you revamp your profile. I applaud your honesty!
While meeting attached people is not for everyone, there will be people who are ok with it. "
Don’t worry I’m keeping that part in. And I accept meeting attached people isn’t for everyone. |
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"I'm guilty of looking at profile before I read messages. And you have a few things on your profile that may put *some* people off .. and I have to admit I'm very bad at deleting messages!
Thanks for the advice. I am going to edit my profile anyway to remove what I suspect could be putting some off. But I’d rather keep one thing on as I’d like to be honest. "
It wasn't a criticism it was an observation... The things that put me off are often things that the other person can't change! Just keep at it. You will find what you are after if you work at it ... I understand it must be frustrating But concentrate on what you do get rather than what you don't ! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We often look at the profile, location, details etc to see if they fit our needs. If they don't we do tend to message them but if we did have loads of messages it might just get deleted.
If more men read the profile they wouldn't waste time messaging people who aren't interested or who aren't going to reply.
I often don't see the point in replying if they haven't made the effort to read the profile.
~Mia |
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"Always wondered myself. What's perhaps more intriguing is when they are read and retained. Again, you're left wondering if they plan to follow up later ..... still waiting
Maybe they’ve read your message and read your profile and veris and their veris and then real life beckons so they have to go do something else. Then by the time they get back to fab, they’ve had another 50- 100 message so your’s gets lost. It does happen believe me"
I can imagine, I'm a realist but always optimistic 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We often look at the profile, location, details etc to see if they fit our needs. If they don't we do tend to message them but if we did have loads of messages it might just get deleted.
If more men read the profile they wouldn't waste time messaging people who aren't interested or who aren't going to reply.
I often don't see the point in replying if they haven't made the effort to read the profile.
~Mia"
Exactly this! It's very obvious when a guy hasn't read my profile. I don't even need to read his message to see that. So as such his message is deleted and sometimes blocked without reply.
Just because someone sends a message, doesn't mean they're owed something in return. Site rules clearly state deleted messages means not interested and we are all to take that as an answer.
If guys read profiles before wasting their own time and that of the female etc, then they may just have a very different outcome! Loads do not. Far too much arrogance on this site. Just because you like the look of someone, doesn't mean you fit what they're seeking.
Effort in = effort out! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"30 unopened in my mailbox......
All from straight guy looking to meet ......
Only 30?  Must be a slow day for you"
I think a few have got the message by now ......
I hate the idea of cluttering my profile bio with negativity so when I'm not in the mood to relentlessly mock their hypocrisy I just fucking ignore their messages lol  |
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"I tend to look at location and age and then if they match what I'm looking for I'll check the profile before deciding whether to open a message.
If there's no pics on profile and I can see there's not one attached I might not open it unless the bit of message I can see looks enticing.
I also am unlikely to open a short hi or how are you message unless something in the profile has tempted me. "
Pretty much do the same x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Exactly this! It's very obvious when a guy hasn't read my profile. I don't even need to read his message to see that. So as such his message is deleted and sometimes blocked without reply.
Just because someone sends a message, doesn't mean they're owed something in return. Site rules clearly state deleted messages means not interested and we are all to take that as an answer.
If guys read profiles before wasting their own time and that of the female etc, then they may just have a very different outcome! Loads do not. Far too much arrogance on this site. Just because you like the look of someone, doesn't mean you fit what they're seeking.
Effort in = effort out! "
I’m not moaning about not getting a reply. I’m just interested in how people decide to read or not read a message. Also what makes someone decide to read certain messages and not others.
I read profiles as I want to know what they like and see what “instructions” they have included. I won’t message those who I know I won’t stand a chance with such as bbc or vwe or not married.
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"Always wondered myself. What's perhaps more intriguing is when they are read and retained. Again, you're left wondering if they plan to follow up later ..... still waiting
"
I retain all messages for safety reasons. Obviously, this is only possible for people who get few messages. |
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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago
marlow |
"We often look at the profile, location, details etc to see if they fit our needs. If they don't we do tend to message them but if we did have loads of messages it might just get deleted.
If more men read the profile they wouldn't waste time messaging people who aren't interested or who aren't going to reply.
I often don't see the point in replying if they haven't made the effort to read the profile.
~Mia
Exactly this! It's very obvious when a guy hasn't read my profile. I don't even need to read his message to see that. So as such his message is deleted and sometimes blocked without reply.
Just because someone sends a message, doesn't mean they're owed something in return. Site rules clearly state deleted messages means not interested and we are all to take that as an answer.
If guys read profiles before wasting their own time and that of the female etc, then they may just have a very different outcome! Loads do not. Far too much arrogance on this site. Just because you like the look of someone, doesn't mean you fit what they're seeking.
Effort in = effort out! "
This  |
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We've never disregarded a message just because it was as short as Hello or Hi. After all, none of us would walk up to a complete stranger in the street and launch into our life story followed by 20 questions.
If your profile picture is eye catching then a hi is more than enough for us to check out your profile. If thats informative then a Hi is more than enough to get a reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What makes messages stand out . . .
a) they fit what we are looking for,
b) they give their first name,
c) they've sent a face picture and
d) they write something that indicates they have actually read the profile text we took the time to write.
Text speak, generic obviously cut and pasted messages, a gallery full of cock pics or pictures of them with other people and I delete.
Vixen |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What makes messages stand out . . .
a) they fit what we are looking for,
b) they give their first name,
c) they've sent a face picture and
d) they write something that indicates they have actually read the profile text we took the time to write.
Text speak, generic obviously cut and pasted messages, a gallery full of cock pics or pictures of them with other people and I delete.
Vixen"
That’s good to know. But from your reply it means you’ve actually read their message |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your sent message and what happens to it no longer belongs to you or is under your control.
"
There lies the problem I guess. It’s out of my control.
I’ve resigned myself to the fact that if a message goes unread It goes unread and I should forget about it.
I may need to review my hotlist too to remove those who don’t reply. Ha ha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We often look at the profile, location, details etc to see if they fit our needs. If they don't we do tend to message them but if we did have loads of messages it might just get deleted.
If more men read the profile they wouldn't waste time messaging people who aren't interested or who aren't going to reply.
I often don't see the point in replying if they haven't made the effort to read the profile.
~Mia
Exactly this! It's very obvious when a guy hasn't read my profile. I don't even need to read his message to see that. So as such his message is deleted and sometimes blocked without reply.
Just because someone sends a message, doesn't mean they're owed something in return. Site rules clearly state deleted messages means not interested and we are all to take that as an answer.
If guys read profiles before wasting their own time and that of the female etc, then they may just have a very different outcome! Loads do not. Far too much arrogance on this site. Just because you like the look of someone, doesn't mean you fit what they're seeking.
Effort in = effort out! "
Yeah definitely. It is always very obvious when they haven't so what's the point in giving them the time of day sometimes.
Sometimes I do reply "read the profile" if I would meet them. But I tend not to bother
~Mia
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What makes messages stand out . . .
a) they fit what we are looking for,
b) they give their first name,
c) they've sent a face picture and
d) they write something that indicates they have actually read the profile text we took the time to write.
Text speak, generic obviously cut and pasted messages, a gallery full of cock pics or pictures of them with other people and I delete.
Vixen
That’s good to know. But from your reply it means you’ve actually read their message "
I was answering your question "What makes a message stand out". |
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Ignore your sent message folder. Take action when you get a reply.
People here are looking for no pressure or complications interaction.
If you inadvertently signal that you are pressuring them, they may find it a deterrent to communicate with you. |
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