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Important cow safety advice
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Cows stood at the gate? Want to give them a scratch?
Always reach over the gate never through it, if they lift their heads suddenly they can break your arm.
Enjoy the countryside and stay safe you freaky fabsters.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cows stood at the gate? Want to give them a scratch?
Always reach over the gate never through it, if they lift their heads suddenly they can break your arm.
Enjoy the countryside and stay safe you freaky fabsters. "
 |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Cows stood at the gate? Want to give them a scratch?
Always reach over the gate never through it, if they lift their heads suddenly they can break your arm.
Enjoy the countryside and stay safe you freaky fabsters. "
Good advice.. Also cows can run very fast and you can easily get trampled on. If unsure don't walk through fields with cows in them especially if your walking your dog. |
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"Cows stood at the gate? Want to give them a scratch?
Always reach over the gate never through it, if they lift their heads suddenly they can break your arm.
Enjoy the countryside and stay safe you freaky fabsters.
Good advice.. Also cows can run very fast and you can easily get trampled on. If unsure don't walk through fields with cows in them especially if your walking your dog. "
A number of people are killed each year by cows apparently. |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Cows stood at the gate? Want to give them a scratch?
Always reach over the gate never through it, if they lift their heads suddenly they can break your arm.
Enjoy the countryside and stay safe you freaky fabsters.
Good advice.. Also cows can run very fast and you can easily get trampled on. If unsure don't walk through fields with cows in them especially if your walking your dog.
A number of people are killed each year by cows apparently."
This is true |
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"Cows stood at the gate? Want to give them a scratch?
Always reach over the gate never through it, if they lift their heads suddenly they can break your arm.
Enjoy the countryside and stay safe you freaky fabsters. "
Useful advice.
If you're ever threatened by an angry goose bend your elbow and wrist to make a goose like shape and point it at the offended bird. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cows stood at the gate? Want to give them a scratch?
Always reach over the gate never through it, if they lift their heads suddenly they can break your arm.
Enjoy the countryside and stay safe you freaky fabsters.
Useful advice.
If you're ever threatened by an angry goose bend your elbow and wrist to make a goose like shape and point it at the offended bird."
This also works on villa fans |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Cows stood at the gate? Want to give them a scratch?
Always reach over the gate never through it, if they lift their heads suddenly they can break your arm.
Enjoy the countryside and stay safe you freaky fabsters. "
...please tell me that you are not speaking from personal experience... |
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"Don't pee on an electric fence."
This is wise advice. I would also counsel against licking one.
Another useful piece of country lore is never put a dead wasp on the end of your nose just because your brother dares you. |
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"Don't pee on an electric fence.
This is wise advice. I would also counsel against licking one.
Another useful piece of country lore is never put a dead wasp on the end of your nose just because your brother dares you."
Ha stings  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve been chased across a field by a herd of cows. It’s scary and they run fast for big uns don’t trust a cow! "
People are killed by cows because they don't know how to act in their presence.
If they come over to you in a field it's because they're being nosey, they're never aggressive (unless you're walking a dog when they have youngsters with them - best avoided). If they're making you nervous don't run, walk away at a normal pace. If they follow turn and confront them and wave your arms, clap, shout etc. Don't be fooled into thinking you're faster than them either in reaction time or running. They are surprisingly nimble, can run at 40mph and weigh the same as a small car. I've been hit by one at full gallop and, trust me, it hurts.
If a bull is in a field on it's own it will see you as challenging it's territory and will likely attack - avoid at all costs. If a bull is with a herd of cows it will likely be too distracted to bother with you - proceed with caution.
Have fun. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I’ve been chased across a field by a herd of cows. It’s scary and they run fast for big uns don’t trust a cow!
People are killed by cows because they don't know how to act in their presence.
If they come over to you in a field it's because they're being nosey, they're never aggressive (unless you're walking a dog when they have youngsters with them - best avoided). If they're making you nervous don't run, walk away at a normal pace. If they follow turn and confront them and wave your arms, clap, shout etc. Don't be fooled into thinking you're faster than them either in reaction time or running. They are surprisingly nimble, can run at 40mph and weigh the same as a small car. I've been hit by one at full gallop and, trust me, it hurts.
If a bull is in a field on it's own it will see you as challenging it's territory and will likely attack - avoid at all costs. If a bull is with a herd of cows it will likely be too distracted to bother with you - proceed with caution.
Have fun. "
Great advice! I no longer walk in fields with cows. I certainly don’t run ... I have a pelvic floor and breasts to consider |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve been chased across a field by a herd of cows. It’s scary and they run fast for big uns don’t trust a cow!
People are killed by cows because they don't know how to act in their presence.
If they come over to you in a field it's because they're being nosey, they're never aggressive (unless you're walking a dog when they have youngsters with them - best avoided). If they're making you nervous don't run, walk away at a normal pace. If they follow turn and confront them and wave your arms, clap, shout etc. Don't be fooled into thinking you're faster than them either in reaction time or running. They are surprisingly nimble, can run at 40mph and weigh the same as a small car. I've been hit by one at full gallop and, trust me, it hurts.
If a bull is in a field on it's own it will see you as challenging it's territory and will likely attack - avoid at all costs. If a bull is with a herd of cows it will likely be too distracted to bother with you - proceed with caution.
Have fun.
Great advice! I no longer walk in fields with cows. I certainly don’t run ... I have a pelvic floor and breasts to consider "
Haha, i don't have either but i know i still could never outrun one.
Cows cause problems because they're misunderstood. Being prey animals they're essentially fear based and their curiosity is continually in conflict with this. If you follow the aforementioned tips (appearing to be aggressive yourself) you'll be perfectly safe.  |
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"Cows stood at the gate? Want to give them a scratch?
Always reach over the gate never through it, if they lift their heads suddenly they can break your arm.
Enjoy the countryside and stay safe you freaky fabsters. "
But on the plus side, you'll be able to reach that awkward spot on your back that's tricky to itch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute. "
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
|
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"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
"
Wow this thread got dark very quickly. |
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"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute. "
I'm always respectful of cows - or any other animal - but admit I'm batty enough to have sometimes stopped the car to scratch/stroke or to simply have a good look at them if they're leaning over a fence  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
Wow this thread got dark very quickly."
I finished it with the gesture of the caring ear scratch  |
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"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
Wow this thread got dark very quickly.
I finished it with the gesture of the caring ear scratch "
I'm sure the cow appreciated it LOL |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute. "
I don't play with my food.
I mean I wouldn't pet a carrot.
A cow would eat you giving half a chance so get them before they get you I say. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
"
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives."
Like showing it your nice leather shoes and saying I'm going to get your arse made a pair just like it |
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"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
I don't play with my food.
I mean I wouldn't pet a carrot.
A cow would eat you giving half a chance so get them before they get you I say. "
In India the cow is a sacred animal.
I'm not Indian, however...
I  Beef |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't like them when they stare at you .I always think they are going to chase you or bite .
I'd like to see you running for some reason!!"
Ohh I wonder why  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives.
Like showing it your nice leather shoes and saying I'm going to get your arse made a pair just like it "
This is not a thread about the ethics of eating animals. I suggest you start one of your own. I love cows and i love beef and i have no problem with that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives.
Like showing it your nice leather shoes and saying I'm going to get your arse made a pair just like it
This is not a thread about the ethics of eating animals. I suggest you start one of your own. I love cows and i love beef and i have no problem with that."
No I'll not bother ...... I'll refrain from trying to spread a little humour in your threads as it obviously goes right over your head |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives.
Like showing it your nice leather shoes and saying I'm going to get your arse made a pair just like it
This is not a thread about the ethics of eating animals. I suggest you start one of your own. I love cows and i love beef and i have no problem with that.
No I'll not bother ...... I'll refrain from trying to spread a little humour in your threads as it obviously goes right over your head "
It was meant to be funny? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives.
Like showing it your nice leather shoes and saying I'm going to get your arse made a pair just like it
This is not a thread about the ethics of eating animals. I suggest you start one of your own. I love cows and i love beef and i have no problem with that.
No I'll not bother ...... I'll refrain from trying to spread a little humour in your threads as it obviously goes right over your head
It was meant to be funny? "
Obviously not to people with overly precious sensibilities.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives.
Like showing it your nice leather shoes and saying I'm going to get your arse made a pair just like it
This is not a thread about the ethics of eating animals. I suggest you start one of your own. I love cows and i love beef and i have no problem with that.
No I'll not bother ...... I'll refrain from trying to spread a little humour in your threads as it obviously goes right over your head
It was meant to be funny?
Obviously not to people with overly precious sensibilities.. "
Personally i'm glad that i don't find that kind of 'humour' appealling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives.
Like showing it your nice leather shoes and saying I'm going to get your arse made a pair just like it
This is not a thread about the ethics of eating animals. I suggest you start one of your own. I love cows and i love beef and i have no problem with that.
No I'll not bother ...... I'll refrain from trying to spread a little humour in your threads as it obviously goes right over your head
It was meant to be funny?
Obviously not to people with overly precious sensibilities..
Personally i'm glad that i don't find that kind of 'humour' appealling."
Well you'd be an expert on that matter |
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"A cow would eat you giving half a chance so get them before they get you I say. "
They would be busy as they only have front teeth at the bottom so can't bite you. Their jaws could give you a hearty squeeze though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives.
Like showing it your nice leather shoes and saying I'm going to get your arse made a pair just like it
This is not a thread about the ethics of eating animals. I suggest you start one of your own. I love cows and i love beef and i have no problem with that.
No I'll not bother ...... I'll refrain from trying to spread a little humour in your threads as it obviously goes right over your head
It was meant to be funny?
Obviously not to people with overly precious sensibilities..
Personally i'm glad that i don't find that kind of 'humour' appealling.
Well you'd be an expert on that matter "
I would point to the word 'personally'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives.
Like showing it your nice leather shoes and saying I'm going to get your arse made a pair just like it
This is not a thread about the ethics of eating animals. I suggest you start one of your own. I love cows and i love beef and i have no problem with that.
No I'll not bother ...... I'll refrain from trying to spread a little humour in your threads as it obviously goes right over your head
It was meant to be funny?
Obviously not to people with overly precious sensibilities..
Personally i'm glad that i don't find that kind of 'humour' appealling.
Well you'd be an expert on that matter
I would point to the word 'personally'."
I'll tell you what....
Your responses are becoming increasingly clumsy so I'll leave you to your thread and allow you to exert control over content of your thread as I obvious you not able to do that with me... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives.
Like showing it your nice leather shoes and saying I'm going to get your arse made a pair just like it
This is not a thread about the ethics of eating animals. I suggest you start one of your own. I love cows and i love beef and i have no problem with that.
No I'll not bother ...... I'll refrain from trying to spread a little humour in your threads as it obviously goes right over your head
It was meant to be funny?
Obviously not to people with overly precious sensibilities..
Personally i'm glad that i don't find that kind of 'humour' appealling.
Well you'd be an expert on that matter
I would point to the word 'personally'.
I'll tell you what....
Your responses are becoming increasingly clumsy so I'll leave you to your thread and allow you to exert control over content of your thread as I obvious you not able to do that with me... "
Thanks. In future try to put a bit more thought and effort into your 'wit' as it's clearly fallen short of the mark in this instance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives.
Like showing it your nice leather shoes and saying I'm going to get your arse made a pair just like it
This is not a thread about the ethics of eating animals. I suggest you start one of your own. I love cows and i love beef and i have no problem with that.
No I'll not bother ...... I'll refrain from trying to spread a little humour in your threads as it obviously goes right over your head
It was meant to be funny?
Obviously not to people with overly precious sensibilities..
Personally i'm glad that i don't find that kind of 'humour' appealling.
Well you'd be an expert on that matter
I would point to the word 'personally'.
I'll tell you what....
Your responses are becoming increasingly clumsy so I'll leave you to your thread and allow you to exert control over content of your thread as I obvious you not able to do that with me...
Thanks. In future try to put a bit more thought and effort into your 'wit' as it's clearly fallen short of the mark in this instance."
I's like shooting fish in a barrel .....
Your true colours come shinning through |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives.
Like showing it your nice leather shoes and saying I'm going to get your arse made a pair just like it
This is not a thread about the ethics of eating animals. I suggest you start one of your own. I love cows and i love beef and i have no problem with that.
No I'll not bother ...... I'll refrain from trying to spread a little humour in your threads as it obviously goes right over your head
It was meant to be funny?
Obviously not to people with overly precious sensibilities..
Personally i'm glad that i don't find that kind of 'humour' appealling.
Well you'd be an expert on that matter
I would point to the word 'personally'.
I'll tell you what....
Your responses are becoming increasingly clumsy so I'll leave you to your thread and allow you to exert control over content of your thread as I obvious you not able to do that with me...
Thanks. In future try to put a bit more thought and effort into your 'wit' as it's clearly fallen short of the mark in this instance.
I's like shooting fish in a barrel .....
Your true colours come shinning through "
Tiresome. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A cow would eat you giving half a chance so get them before they get you I say.
They would be busy as they only have front teeth at the bottom so can't bite you. Their jaws could give you a hearty squeeze though."
They could sit on you though!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives.
Like showing it your nice leather shoes and saying I'm going to get your arse made a pair just like it
This is not a thread about the ethics of eating animals. I suggest you start one of your own. I love cows and i love beef and i have no problem with that.
No I'll not bother ...... I'll refrain from trying to spread a little humour in your threads as it obviously goes right over your head
It was meant to be funny?
Obviously not to people with overly precious sensibilities..
Personally i'm glad that i don't find that kind of 'humour' appealling.
Well you'd be an expert on that matter
I would point to the word 'personally'.
I'll tell you what....
Your responses are becoming increasingly clumsy so I'll leave you to your thread and allow you to exert control over content of your thread as I obvious you not able to do that with me...
Thanks. In future try to put a bit more thought and effort into your 'wit' as it's clearly fallen short of the mark in this instance.
I's like shooting fish in a barrel .....
Your true colours come shinning through
Tiresome. "
Again you're the expert on that subject |
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"Cows stood at the gate? Want to give them a scratch?
Always reach over the gate never through it, if they lift their heads suddenly they can break your arm.
Enjoy the countryside and stay safe you freaky fabsters.
Useful advice.
If you're ever threatened by an angry goose bend your elbow and wrist to make a goose like shape and point it at the offended bird."
Those buggers take some fighting off once they're on you! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives.
Like showing it your nice leather shoes and saying I'm going to get your arse made a pair just like it
This is not a thread about the ethics of eating animals. I suggest you start one of your own. I love cows and i love beef and i have no problem with that.
No I'll not bother ...... I'll refrain from trying to spread a little humour in your threads as it obviously goes right over your head
It was meant to be funny?
Obviously not to people with overly precious sensibilities..
Personally i'm glad that i don't find that kind of 'humour' appealling.
Well you'd be an expert on that matter
I would point to the word 'personally'.
I'll tell you what....
Your responses are becoming increasingly clumsy so I'll leave you to your thread and allow you to exert control over content of your thread as I obvious you not able to do that with me...
Thanks. In future try to put a bit more thought and effort into your 'wit' as it's clearly fallen short of the mark in this instance.
I's like shooting fish in a barrel .....
Your true colours come shinning through
Tiresome.
Again you're the expert on that subject "
And childish too. Would someone please send this guy a message as he's clearly desperate for some kind of human interaction. Or better still, why not just admit that your post wasn't that funny after all and move on. It doesn't hurt to admit you're wrong once in a while. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives.
Like showing it your nice leather shoes and saying I'm going to get your arse made a pair just like it
This is not a thread about the ethics of eating animals. I suggest you start one of your own. I love cows and i love beef and i have no problem with that.
No I'll not bother ...... I'll refrain from trying to spread a little humour in your threads as it obviously goes right over your head
It was meant to be funny?
Obviously not to people with overly precious sensibilities..
Personally i'm glad that i don't find that kind of 'humour' appealling.
Well you'd be an expert on that matter
I would point to the word 'personally'.
I'll tell you what....
Your responses are becoming increasingly clumsy so I'll leave you to your thread and allow you to exert control over content of your thread as I obvious you not able to do that with me...
Thanks. In future try to put a bit more thought and effort into your 'wit' as it's clearly fallen short of the mark in this instance.
I's like shooting fish in a barrel .....
Your true colours come shinning through
Tiresome.
Again you're the expert on that subject
And childish too. Would someone please send this guy a message as he's clearly desperate for some kind of human interaction. Or better still, why not just admit that your post wasn't that funny after all and move on. It doesn't hurt to admit you're wrong once in a while."
I've had a lot of messages but I don't think you'd appreciate their content..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Cows stood at the gate? Want to give them a scratch?
Always reach over the gate never through it, if they lift their heads suddenly they can break your arm.
Enjoy the countryside and stay safe you freaky fabsters.
Useful advice.
If you're ever threatened by an angry goose bend your elbow and wrist to make a goose like shape and point it at the offended bird.
Those buggers take some fighting off once they're on you! "
We had a few geese on a farm i once worked at when i was a teenager. The gander was forever chasing me across the yard. Apparently they make better guard dogs than actual guard dogs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Apparently a swan can break a mans arm  "
I've heard this too.
In reference to an earlier post about walking next to a wall so you can jump over it because cows can't jump. Actually they can though it's very rare, i've only ever witnessed it once when one of our cows jumped over a barbed wire fence. She had to be stiched up afterwards.
This does remind me of a youtube video i saw a while ago of a young lady in Germany who'd taught her favourite heifer to showjump would you believe? It was quite a sight. |
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"Cows stood at the gate? Want to give them a scratch?
Always reach over the gate never through it, if they lift their heads suddenly they can break your arm.
Enjoy the countryside and stay safe you freaky fabsters.
Useful advice.
If you're ever threatened by an angry goose bend your elbow and wrist to make a goose like shape and point it at the offended bird.
Those buggers take some fighting off once they're on you!
We had a few geese on a farm i once worked at when i was a teenager. The gander was forever chasing me across the yard. Apparently they make better guard dogs than actual guard dogs. "
We used to have geese when I was a kid and teenager. Mum and I had to run the gauntlet of stroppy geese and gander just to hang the washing out. I don't know why we bothered because the damn goats would eat it if we didn't put the prop up high enough |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I've been chased by geese, butted by a goat and a horse bolted while I was riding bareback with a head collar on
That sounds one hell of a party"
Just to clarify the horse was wearing a head collar, not me and I wasn't using a saddle, hence bareback |
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"I've been chased by geese, butted by a goat and a horse bolted while I was riding bareback with a head collar on
That sounds one hell of a party
Just to clarify the horse was wearing a head collar, not me and I wasn't using a saddle, hence bareback "
Too late. Your reputation is in tatters or increased immeasurably depending on how you look at it |
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"I've been chased by geese, butted by a goat and a horse bolted while I was riding bareback with a head collar on
That sounds one hell of a party
Just to clarify the horse was wearing a head collar, not me and I wasn't using a saddle, hence bareback "
Too late. Your reputation is in tatters or increased immeasurably depending on how you look at it |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I've been chased by geese, butted by a goat and a horse bolted while I was riding bareback with a head collar on
That sounds one hell of a party
Just to clarify the horse was wearing a head collar, not me and I wasn't using a saddle, hence bareback
Too late. Your reputation is in tatters or increased immeasurably depending on how you look at it "
Fingers engaged before brain lol |
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"I've been chased by geese, butted by a goat and a horse bolted while I was riding bareback with a head collar on
That sounds one hell of a party
Just to clarify the horse was wearing a head collar, not me and I wasn't using a saddle, hence bareback "
That cleaned that image up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't pee on an electric fence."
Once worked with a guy who did just that he screamed like the end of the world had happened . He had trouble walking for days |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I've been chased by geese, butted by a goat and a horse bolted while I was riding bareback with a head collar on
That sounds one hell of a party
Just to clarify the horse was wearing a head collar, not me and I wasn't using a saddle, hence bareback
That cleaned that image up "
Nearly as bad as our friend from coleraine's shaved doggy thread lol |
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"Why would you want to scratch a cow?
Because they're cute.
Yeah real cute hung from their hooves with their throat cut and their disembowel innards railing on the floor....
I'm sure the last thing that goes through their mind was that bloke who scratched their ear ........
That's an interesting perspective. For me this is just part of the natural order, such animals exist for one sole purpose. However, this does not mean that they shouldn't be treated with kindness and respect during their lives.
Like showing it your nice leather shoes and saying I'm going to get your arse made a pair just like it
This is not a thread about the ethics of eating animals. I suggest you start one of your own. I love cows and i love beef and i have no problem with that.
No I'll not bother ...... I'll refrain from trying to spread a little humour in your threads as it obviously goes right over your head
It was meant to be funny?
Obviously not to people with overly precious sensibilities..
Personally i'm glad that i don't find that kind of 'humour' appealling.
Well you'd be an expert on that matter
I would point to the word 'personally'.
I'll tell you what....
Your responses are becoming increasingly clumsy so I'll leave you to your thread and allow you to exert control over content of your thread as I obvious you not able to do that with me...
Thanks. In future try to put a bit more thought and effort into your 'wit' as it's clearly fallen short of the mark in this instance.
I's like shooting fish in a barrel .....
Your true colours come shinning through
Tiresome.
Again you're the expert on that subject
And childish too. Would someone please send this guy a message as he's clearly desperate for some kind of human interaction. Or better still, why not just admit that your post wasn't that funny after all and move on. It doesn't hurt to admit you're wrong once in a while."
Can I just say, I sniggered at soxy's post. It was quite funny |
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"Don't pee on an electric fence.
Once worked with a guy who did just that he screamed like the end of the world had happened . He had trouble walking for days "
I saw a lad do it when we were on a school trip |
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"I've been in a car surrounded by hundreds of monkeys while the little blighters attempted to strip every removable item of body work. That was SCARY!"
Barbury apes are vicious.
James May said so, when taking the convertible people carrier to Woburn safari park. |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
"Cows stood at the gate? Want to give them a scratch?
Always reach over the gate never through it, if they lift their heads suddenly they can break your arm.
Enjoy the countryside and stay safe you freaky fabsters.
Useful advice.
If you're ever threatened by an angry goose bend your elbow and wrist to make a goose like shape and point it at the offended bird.
Those buggers take some fighting off once they're on you!
We had a few geese on a farm i once worked at when i was a teenager. The gander was forever chasing me across the yard. Apparently they make better guard dogs than actual guard dogs. "
Some distilleries in Scotland use them to guard premises plus over 30 years ago, Bells Whisky used geese to guard their Distribution warehouses as they were better than guard dogs, made one hell of a racket when disturbed andmore efficient too. |
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"Lie down in a field of cows....everyone of them will surround u in a circle....not for the faint hearted"
I lost my virginity in a field full of cows, they looked quite bemused and I think they were saying "Get orrrf my laaand!" |
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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
I remember getting to Ireland as a child and being so excited as we had a field full of pet cows next door. My first few weeks in the country was like a bloody marathon! I was chased by cow's, bullock's, goats, geese, and a pig! I learned eventually to stay on my side of the fence or be able to clear that fence lively.
The field full of bullock's next door were the nosiest animals ever. We eventually became friends as I loved singing despite my lack of talent, they were an avid audience. I would go to the fence and sing the first line and they would come charging up to me. Very therapeutic but stay on the right side of the fence is my advice.
Madame Boo |
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"Lie down in a field of cows....everyone of them will surround u in a circle....not for the faint hearted
I lost my virginity in a field full of cows, they looked quite bemused and I think they were saying "Get orrrf my laaand!" "
Did they give you a pat on the back when you'd finished? |
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"Lie down in a field of cows....everyone of them will surround u in a circle....not for the faint hearted
I lost my virginity in a field full of cows, they looked quite bemused and I think they were saying "Get orrrf my laaand!" "
Some kind of weird gang bang |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
What’s the advice around Highland Cattle which have been let out of a field on the opposite side of the road on a blind bend. They’re big and they do not respect or fear cars. I know this because they surrounded me yesterday. The size of their horns |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Are cows cheeky?"
Yes. In order to achieve the most efficient use of pasture we would strip graze using portable electric fencing. We had one cow that discovered the plastic fence posts were insulated and didn't give a shock. She would push the posts over with her nose which earthed out the fence on the grass rendering it useless. The rest of the herd were then free to run amok over the entire field ruining the rest of the grass.
Needless to say she was soon sold on to become someone else's problem.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are cows cheeky?
Yes. In order to achieve the most efficient use of pasture we would strip graze using portable electric fencing. We had one cow that discovered the plastic fence posts were insulated and didn't give a shock. She would push the posts over with her nose which earthed out the fence on the grass rendering it useless. The rest of the herd were then free to run amok over the entire field ruining the rest of the grass.
Needless to say she was soon sold on to become someone else's problem.
"
Not just cheeky then but very very naughty!
The devil makes work for light hooves |
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"Apparently a swan can break a mans arm
I've heard this too.
In reference to an earlier post about walking next to a wall so you can jump over it because cows can't jump. Actually they can though it's very rare, i've only ever witnessed it once when one of our cows jumped over a barbed wire fence. She had to be stiched up afterwards.
This does remind me of a youtube video i saw a while ago of a young lady in Germany who'd taught her favourite heifer to showjump would you believe? It was quite a sight."
An old arthritic bull with feet the size of dinner plates once pulled a halter out of my hands and clearned a netting and barbed wire fence from a standing start, just to get to his harem. Oh yes the buggers can jump alright. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Are cows cheeky?
Yes. In order to achieve the most efficient use of pasture we would strip graze using portable electric fencing. We had one cow that discovered the plastic fence posts were insulated and didn't give a shock. She would push the posts over with her nose which earthed out the fence on the grass rendering it useless. The rest of the herd were then free to run amok over the entire field ruining the rest of the grass.
Needless to say she was soon sold on to become someone else's problem.
Not just cheeky then but very very naughty!
The devil makes work for light hooves"
I think they're a lot smarter than people give them credit for. We had one young cow that would always walk at the back of the herd on the wy to the parlour. She would refuse to move and look at me expectantly until i'd given a damn good scratch. |
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Madame Boo