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'First dates' programme -what would you say?
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
So I've been 'dating' this guy,still not 100% sure I want to dive fully in to be honest. I like certain aspects of being single.
Anyways when we first met he told me someone in his family had applied for him to go on the First dates programme some time ago. Unexpectedly a couple of day's ago he got the call to say he'd been selected.
Now I didn't want to come over all bitch like and say I didn't want him to go on it and miss the experience,afterall we may not be together by then. How do you think you may have dealt with it?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would be much worse if he hadn't told you. Two things to consider:
1 - If you want to date him tell him, if not then no issue
2 - What is the likelihood of meeting anyone that way
If it bothers you date him and see how it goes. |
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My personal opinion is that it should be his decision not yours anyway. If he decides that he doesn't want to go on, then that could indicate a level of confidence in the relationship he has with you, and obviously the converse is also true.
If I was you, I would probably tell him that the choice is his and that whatever he decides, you'll be fine with his choice.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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its one date with a stranger if u think that threatens ur "relationship" in anyway then think u need to worry about the "relationship" a lot more than the date |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"My personal opinion is that it should be his decision not yours anyway. If he decides that he doesn't want to go on, then that could indicate a level of confidence in the relationship he has with you, and obviously the converse is also true.
If I was you, I would probably tell him that the choice is his and that whatever he decides, you'll be fine with his choice.
Cal"
God yeah it definitely is his decision,I would never tell him not to go on it. But...what if it's 6 months down the line and we're in a relationship and he still wants to go on it?! Yeah clearly that's the end of that |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"It would be much worse if he hadn't told you. Two things to consider:
1 - If you want to date him tell him, if not then no issue
2 - What is the likelihood of meeting anyone that way
If it bothers you date him and see how it goes."
It appears to work for some of them and they run off into the night together |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Why did he tell you about it? Was it just to say he is doing it or to see how you reacted to it?
I think the fact he told you about it is good but it depends of he wants to do it or not. "
He told me on our first ever date and because it was some time ago he didn't think he had got through.
When he told me yesterday I felt a bit put out to be honest,I just kinda laughed it off saying I'll apply with some sob story and be on the table next to him or come storming in on his date with a few kid's in tow pretending to be his wife  |
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"My personal opinion is that it should be his decision not yours anyway. If he decides that he doesn't want to go on, then that could indicate a level of confidence in the relationship he has with you, and obviously the converse is also true.
If I was you, I would probably tell him that the choice is his and that whatever he decides, you'll be fine with his choice.
Cal
God yeah it definitely is his decision,I would never tell him not to go on it. But...what if it's 6 months down the line and we're in a relationship and he still wants to go on it?! Yeah clearly that's the end of that "
Without a doubt that’s the end of that !
I don’t agree that it’s his decision alone either .
If you’re in any kind of relationship as things stand then it should be discussed first . If that’s not the case then clearly the relationship isn’t worth it really is it ? |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"its one date with a stranger if u think that threatens ur "relationship" in anyway then think u need to worry about the "relationship" a lot more than the date"
Well technically speaking we're not in a relationship yet,it's still early stages. Making that final commitment is hard for me. Everything is a threat though isn't it even one date! They may find a woman that's more suited to him than myself,jesus I feel like calling it a day... 
Bloody hormones are all over the place |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"My personal opinion is that it should be his decision not yours anyway. If he decides that he doesn't want to go on, then that could indicate a level of confidence in the relationship he has with you, and obviously the converse is also true.
If I was you, I would probably tell him that the choice is his and that whatever he decides, you'll be fine with his choice.
Cal
God yeah it definitely is his decision,I would never tell him not to go on it. But...what if it's 6 months down the line and we're in a relationship and he still wants to go on it?! Yeah clearly that's the end of that
Without a doubt that’s the end of that !
I don’t agree that it’s his decision alone either .
If you’re in any kind of relationship as things stand then it should be discussed first . If that’s not the case then clearly the relationship isn’t worth it really is it ? "
I know this is stupid but I'm so confused. It was nearly over during the weekend anyway,I've been single for about 6 year's now and throwing myself into someone fulltime is hard as I still like my own space. He sees the fact I don't need to see him every day or texting all the time as me not being interested.
If someone comes on too strong I pull away,which I've told him. Maybe we're just not compatible at all,we are so different in many way's. I wish he'd just ditch me in one sense... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its one date with a stranger if u think that threatens ur "relationship" in anyway then think u need to worry about the "relationship" a lot more than the date
Well technically speaking we're not in a relationship yet,it's still early stages. Making that final commitment is hard for me. Everything is a threat though isn't it even one date! They may find a woman that's more suited to him than myself,jesus I feel like calling it a day...
Bloody hormones are all over the place "
what ever stage u are at in ur friendship relationship o what ever it is a date with tv cameras staring at u aint gonna be all that...if he was interested in other women its the ones in everyday life that would be a concern x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It would be much worse if he hadn't told you. Two things to consider:
1 - If you want to date him tell him, if not then no issue
2 - What is the likelihood of meeting anyone that way
If it bothers you date him and see how it goes.
It appears to work for some of them and they run off into the night together "
Well if you feel that way grab him and tell him you want him...then you'll know |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"It would be much worse if he hadn't told you. Two things to consider:
1 - If you want to date him tell him, if not then no issue
2 - What is the likelihood of meeting anyone that way
If it bothers you date him and see how it goes.
It appears to work for some of them and they run off into the night together
Well if you feel that way grab him and tell him you want him...then you'll know"
Well I did say I'll fight my corner,but I shouldn't need to should I! |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
If I thought that he was someone I could make a go of things with and he chose to go ahead I think I'd be a little miffed.
It would be his decision at the end of the day though, I think.
They try and pair people up who they see as compatible don't they? If he's not due to go on it for a few months things might have changed for you two and he could easily pull out. |
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"My personal opinion is that it should be his decision not yours anyway. If he decides that he doesn't want to go on, then that could indicate a level of confidence in the relationship he has with you, and obviously the converse is also true.
If I was you, I would probably tell him that the choice is his and that whatever he decides, you'll be fine with his choice.
Cal
God yeah it definitely is his decision,I would never tell him not to go on it. But...what if it's 6 months down the line and we're in a relationship and he still wants to go on it?! Yeah clearly that's the end of that
Without a doubt that’s the end of that !
I don’t agree that it’s his decision alone either .
If you’re in any kind of relationship as things stand then it should be discussed first . If that’s not the case then clearly the relationship isn’t worth it really is it ?
I know this is stupid but I'm so confused. It was nearly over during the weekend anyway,I've been single for about 6 year's now and throwing myself into someone fulltime is hard as I still like my own space. He sees the fact I don't need to see him every day or texting all the time as me not being interested.
If someone comes on too strong I pull away,which I've told him. Maybe we're just not compatible at all,we are so different in many way's. I wish he'd just ditch me in one sense..."
Gosh you are in two minds aren't you! Sounds like you want him to "choose you" without actually being sure you choose him? Maybe seeing him on tv will help you decide one way or another lol!? Bottom line until you commit to 'something' you're just dating and still free to date others. Fix something up for yourself that night! |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"If I thought that he was someone I could make a go of things with and he chose to go ahead I think I'd be a little miffed.
It would be his decision at the end of the day though, I think.
They try and pair people up who they see as compatible don't they? If he's not due to go on it for a few months things might have changed for you two and he could easily pull out. "
It wouldn't be hard for them to find someone more compatible to be honest as we are so different. I told him this early on and he asked if it was a problem we're so different. I said no at the time,but I fear time will prove it will be for both of us.
This really shouldn't be this hard should it,I think I'll just go back to meeting random people from a sex/swingers site thing's were simpler then. Ok not hugely fulfilling emotionally wise but simple! |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"My personal opinion is that it should be his decision not yours anyway. If he decides that he doesn't want to go on, then that could indicate a level of confidence in the relationship he has with you, and obviously the converse is also true.
If I was you, I would probably tell him that the choice is his and that whatever he decides, you'll be fine with his choice.
Cal
God yeah it definitely is his decision,I would never tell him not to go on it. But...what if it's 6 months down the line and we're in a relationship and he still wants to go on it?! Yeah clearly that's the end of that
Without a doubt that’s the end of that !
I don’t agree that it’s his decision alone either .
If you’re in any kind of relationship as things stand then it should be discussed first . If that’s not the case then clearly the relationship isn’t worth it really is it ?
I know this is stupid but I'm so confused. It was nearly over during the weekend anyway,I've been single for about 6 year's now and throwing myself into someone fulltime is hard as I still like my own space. He sees the fact I don't need to see him every day or texting all the time as me not being interested.
If someone comes on too strong I pull away,which I've told him. Maybe we're just not compatible at all,we are so different in many way's. I wish he'd just ditch me in one sense...
Gosh you are in two minds aren't you! Sounds like you want him to "choose you" without actually being sure you choose him? Maybe seeing him on tv will help you decide one way or another lol!? Bottom line until you commit to 'something' you're just dating and still free to date others. Fix something up for yourself that night! "
Oh my god you're right I'm so going to tell him I'll going to fix my own date up on that night,thankyou for that light bulb moment!
They don't film all the couples anyway do they so may not see him,I don't think I could watch him with someone else. It's kinda you do but don't thing really,watch it between your fingers thing!
...and yes there's only been one other time in life when I've been totally and utterly confused. That was giving up on having my own children and choosing adoption instead,I went for councilling for that! |
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If I start dating someone and it has potential you always have a dilemma in this internet dating age.
Both are likely in contact with other potential dates.
They way I've approached this in the past is to discuss the issue and ideally reach an agreement where both agree to pass on dating sites and other dates to give the fledgling relationship a chance and see where it goes.
The same approach would very definitely apply to a dating TV show in my opinion.
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"At least he has been honest about it.
Fair play to him, although I can certainly see your point of view.
Best of luck. 
Thankyou,I think I need it!"
Apologies it wasn't much assistance. It's a very different situation.
Personally if I was him I would be seeking clarification from you but if I was "with" someone then I would tell the show "thanks but no thanks, my situation has changed." |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"If I start dating someone and it has potential you always have a dilemma in this internet dating age.
Both are likely in contact with other potential dates.
They way I've approached this in the past is to discuss the issue and ideally reach an agreement where both agree to pass on dating sites and other dates to give the fledgling relationship a chance and see where it goes.
The same approach would very definitely apply to a dating TV show in my opinion.
"
Well I'm pretty sure he isn't dating other people I'm certainly not. Dating one man at a time is more than enough for me.
If we are still together though and he goes on it I will be doing auditions for myself that night |
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"If I start dating someone and it has potential you always have a dilemma in this internet dating age.
Both are likely in contact with other potential dates.
They way I've approached this in the past is to discuss the issue and ideally reach an agreement where both agree to pass on dating sites and other dates to give the fledgling relationship a chance and see where it goes.
The same approach would very definitely apply to a dating TV show in my opinion.
Well I'm pretty sure he isn't dating other people I'm certainly not. Dating one man at a time is more than enough for me.
If we are still together though and he goes on it I will be doing auditions for myself that night "
It sounds like you haven't had "the talk" where you ascertain where your at together as you don't know for sure if he's dating others. Which may be absolutely fine for where your both at. Or it may not be? Basically I think that if your relationship truly has potential these things should be discussed rather than tit for tat revenge dating  |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"If I start dating someone and it has potential you always have a dilemma in this internet dating age.
Both are likely in contact with other potential dates.
They way I've approached this in the past is to discuss the issue and ideally reach an agreement where both agree to pass on dating sites and other dates to give the fledgling relationship a chance and see where it goes.
The same approach would very definitely apply to a dating TV show in my opinion.
Well I'm pretty sure he isn't dating other people I'm certainly not. Dating one man at a time is more than enough for me.
If we are still together though and he goes on it I will be doing auditions for myself that night
It sounds like you haven't had "the talk" where you ascertain where your at together as you don't know for sure if he's dating others. Which may be absolutely fine for where your both at. Or it may not be? Basically I think that if your relationship truly has potential these things should be discussed rather than tit for tat revenge dating "
I think we've both just presumed we're not dating other people really,we live 5 min's from each other so have seen each other fairly regularly,maybe I should ask him . He'll only get him,he'll probably get grumpy if I do.
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"If I start dating someone and it has potential you always have a dilemma in this internet dating age.
Both are likely in contact with other potential dates.
They way I've approached this in the past is to discuss the issue and ideally reach an agreement where both agree to pass on dating sites and other dates to give the fledgling relationship a chance and see where it goes.
The same approach would very definitely apply to a dating TV show in my opinion.
Well I'm pretty sure he isn't dating other people I'm certainly not. Dating one man at a time is more than enough for me.
If we are still together though and he goes on it I will be doing auditions for myself that night
It sounds like you haven't had "the talk" where you ascertain where your at together as you don't know for sure if he's dating others. Which may be absolutely fine for where your both at. Or it may not be? Basically I think that if your relationship truly has potential these things should be discussed rather than tit for tat revenge dating "
Yes, the talk is definitely required, and that in itself may end the confusion! I was not suggesting revenge dating, more a legitimate distraction in a non-relationship situation!! Once you decide to 'go for it' then all such things should cease by mutual agreement - and both parties wanting that. |
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Not everything is a threat to a good relationshi but what is a threat is insecurity and questioning.
I think it would be unfair of someone to go on first dates if they were in a relationship because the person they would be meeting would be missing the chance of a potential relationship.
If a relationship is strong meeting someone on telly and eating a bit of dinner isn't going to break it. If it's going to end it'll end one way or another.
This is six months in the future why worry about it now? |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Not everything is a threat to a good relationshi but what is a threat is insecurity and questioning.
I think it would be unfair of someone to go on first dates if they were in a relationship because the person they would be meeting would be missing the chance of a potential relationship.
If a relationship is strong meeting someone on telly and eating a bit of dinner isn't going to break it. If it's going to end it'll end one way or another.
This is six months in the future why worry about it now?"
That's food for thought actually! It would be unfair of him to do it as far as his date is concerned especially if we are more 'together' by then. If I do have strong feelings for him,then I wouldn't want him to do it fullstop,why put temptation in his way!
But I see what you're saying. |
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"Not everything is a threat to a good relationshi but what is a threat is insecurity and questioning.
I think it would be unfair of someone to go on first dates if they were in a relationship because the person they would be meeting would be missing the chance of a potential relationship.
If a relationship is strong meeting someone on telly and eating a bit of dinner isn't going to break it. If it's going to end it'll end one way or another.
This is six months in the future why worry about it now?
That's food for thought actually! It would be unfair of him to do it as far as his date is concerned especially if we are more 'together' by then. If I do have strong feelings for him,then I wouldn't want him to do it fullstop,why put temptation in his way!
But I see what you're saying."
Temptation is put in our way daily, rarely in front of the viewing public on a popular television show though .
I did see the show once where a guy said he'd got in to a relationship since applying and I thought it was really unfair of him. The woman he met missed out and someone else could have taken his place.
I wouldn't want Mr N to go on it not because it would put temptation in his way but because I can't see any reason why he would need to.
Can you get in to the mind set of dealing with it if it comes to it? A lot of water can flow under the bridge in six months and it would be a shame to spoil a budding relationship just in case he does something in the future. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why did he tell you about it? Was it just to say he is doing it or to see how you reacted to it?
I think the fact he told you about it is good but it depends of he wants to do it or not. "
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"If I start dating someone and it has potential you always have a dilemma in this internet dating age.
Both are likely in contact with other potential dates.
They way I've approached this in the past is to discuss the issue and ideally reach an agreement where both agree to pass on dating sites and other dates to give the fledgling relationship a chance and see where it goes.
The same approach would very definitely apply to a dating TV show in my opinion.
Well I'm pretty sure he isn't dating other people I'm certainly not. Dating one man at a time is more than enough for me.
If we are still together though and he goes on it I will be doing auditions for myself that night
It sounds like you haven't had "the talk" where you ascertain where your at together as you don't know for sure if he's dating others. Which may be absolutely fine for where your both at. Or it may not be? Basically I think that if your relationship truly has potential these things should be discussed rather than tit for tat revenge dating
I think we've both just presumed we're not dating other people really,we live 5 min's from each other so have seen each other fairly regularly,maybe I should ask him . He'll only get him,he'll probably get grumpy if I do.
"
if he gets "grumpy" if you ask him if he's still dating "on the side" then he doesn't sound like a particularly considerate kind of guy  |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"
Temptation is put in our way daily, rarely in front of the viewing public on a popular television show though .
I did see the show once where a guy said he'd got in to a relationship since applying and I thought it was really unfair of him. The woman he met missed out and someone else could have taken his place.
I wouldn't want Mr N to go on it not because it would put temptation in his way but because I can't see any reason why he would need to.
Can you get in to the mind set of dealing with it if it comes to it? A lot of water can flow under the bridge in six months and it would be a shame to spoil a budding relationship just in case he does something in the future."
I will tell him it's unfair on the other person if he goes ahead with it and we're properly together. I hadn't looked at it from the other person's point of view,but you're right it wouldn't be fair of him.
I'm not sure I could get my head around it to be honest,my head is full of contradictions at the moment. One minute I'm up the next I'm down,it's doing my bonce in! I think I would try to be oblivious to it and just let him do what he wants.
I'm not normally a jealous person,but just him hugging a woman the other day made me feel jealous which is crazy! . Perimenipausal rubbish rearing it's stupid head! |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"
if he gets "grumpy" if you ask him if he's still dating "on the side" then he doesn't sound like a particularly considerate kind of guy "
I may have used the wrong word there. I called him grumpy yesterday when I said on Saturday I just needed to hibernate away from people and didn't want company,for their sake as well as mine!
He said he was grumpy just disappointed...
There's nothing like overthinking things is there! |
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"
if he gets "grumpy" if you ask him if he's still dating "on the side" then he doesn't sound like a particularly considerate kind of guy
I may have used the wrong word there. I called him grumpy yesterday when I said on Saturday I just needed to hibernate away from people and didn't want company,for their sake as well as mine!
He said he was grumpy just disappointed...
There's nothing like overthinking things is there! "
It's easily done when you have time on your hands! I'm guilty if that to. But conversely I also have the ability to put things to the back of my mind and ignore/forget them. I know some people can't do that though.
I still think you simehow need to clear up the is he /isn't he regarding dating others, particularly if your hormones aren't coping well with that possibility currently, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've been 'dating' this guy,still not 100% sure I want to dive fully in to be honest. I like certain aspects of being single.
Anyways when we first met he told me someone in his family had applied for him to go on the First dates programme some time ago. Unexpectedly a couple of day's ago he got the call to say he'd been selected.
Now I didn't want to come over all bitch like and say I didn't want him to go on it and miss the experience,afterall we may not be together by then. How do you think you may have dealt with it?
"
As you arent 100% sure i dont think you handled it badly.
He was honest and told you he applied (ok someone in his family did hmmm )
its one of those circumstances where he could be trying to Gage if something more is happening between you and he wanted n answer to see if its worth him going on it.
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"If I thought that he was someone I could make a go of things with and he chose to go ahead I think I'd be a little miffed.
It would be his decision at the end of the day though, I think.
They try and pair people up who they see as compatible don't they? If he's not due to go on it for a few months things might have changed for you two and he could easily pull out.
It wouldn't be hard for them to find someone more compatible to be honest as we are so different. I told him this early on and he asked if it was a problem we're so different. I said no at the time,but I fear time will prove it will be for both of us.
This really shouldn't be this hard should it,I think I'll just go back to meeting random people from a sex/swingers site thing's were simpler then. Ok not hugely fulfilling emotionally wise but simple! "
Oh I don't find that more simple at all - on the contrary I yearn for the FREEDOM to just totally let rip with one person again - to fully and freely love and trust and receive the same back!! All this juggling is so bloody tiring, and the more I let go emotionally the better the sex is anyway!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd be pissed off he was going to do it anyway. He clearly wouldn't think much of me of he was trying a date with someone else. I'd take it as a sign to end it with him. |
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"I'd be pissed off he was going to do it anyway. He clearly wouldn't think much of me of he was trying a date with someone else. I'd take it as a sign to end it with him. "
That's a little bit presumptuous if you've never even discussed going exclusive!!I think such dilemmas simply focus the mind - is it time to agree to something together? I hate ambiguity - far better to have the talk and decide!
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"I'd be pissed off he was going to do it anyway. He clearly wouldn't think much of me of he was trying a date with someone else. I'd take it as a sign to end it with him.
That's a little bit presumptuous if you've never even discussed going exclusive!!I think such dilemmas simply focus the mind - is it time to agree to something together? I hate ambiguity - far better to have the talk and decide!
"
I think the term is have a shit or get off the pot |
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"I'd be pissed off he was going to do it anyway. He clearly wouldn't think much of me of he was trying a date with someone else. I'd take it as a sign to end it with him.
That's a little bit presumptuous if you've never even discussed going exclusive!!I think such dilemmas simply focus the mind - is it time to agree to something together? I hate ambiguity - far better to have the talk and decide!
I think the term is have a shit or get off the pot "
Lol, not in my social circle it's not... |
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"I'd be pissed off he was going to do it anyway. He clearly wouldn't think much of me of he was trying a date with someone else. I'd take it as a sign to end it with him.
That's a little bit presumptuous if you've never even discussed going exclusive!!I think such dilemmas simply focus the mind - is it time to agree to something together? I hate ambiguity - far better to have the talk and decide!
I think the term is have a shit or get off the pot
Lol, not in my social circle it's not..."
You're probably posher than me |
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"I'd be pissed off he was going to do it anyway. He clearly wouldn't think much of me of he was trying a date with someone else. I'd take it as a sign to end it with him.
That's a little bit presumptuous if you've never even discussed going exclusive!!I think such dilemmas simply focus the mind - is it time to agree to something together? I hate ambiguity - far better to have the talk and decide!
I think the term is have a shit or get off the pot
Lol, not in my social circle it's not...
You're probably posher than me "
I think I must be haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It sounds as though you're both skirting around the issue. Testing the waters as it is, but neither of you willing to say first that you want to try a committed relationship. You obviously think more of him than your letting yourself believe. I know it's scary being emotionally vulnerable but you could be missing out on something special. If you don't try you'll always have those what ifs x |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"I'd be pissed off he was going to do it anyway. He clearly wouldn't think much of me of he was trying a date with someone else. I'd take it as a sign to end it with him.
That's a little bit presumptuous if you've never even discussed going exclusive!!I think such dilemmas simply focus the mind - is it time to agree to something together? I hate ambiguity - far better to have the talk and decide!
"
but I think that's the problem I can't decide if he's right for me. One minute I think yes,the next minute no |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"I'd be pissed off he was going to do it anyway. He clearly wouldn't think much of me of he was trying a date with someone else. I'd take it as a sign to end it with him. "
I'm seeing him later I'll ask if he called them back,all I can do is just go with it at the moment. Tit's! |
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"I'd be pissed off he was going to do it anyway. He clearly wouldn't think much of me of he was trying a date with someone else. I'd take it as a sign to end it with him.
That's a little bit presumptuous if you've never even discussed going exclusive!!I think such dilemmas simply focus the mind - is it time to agree to something together? I hate ambiguity - far better to have the talk and decide!
but I think that's the problem I can't decide if he's right for me. One minute I think yes,the next minute no "
I hear it! But my feeling is you have nothing to lose by going for it - it'll either work or won't, suck it and see lol! |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"It sounds as though you're both skirting around the issue. Testing the waters as it is, but neither of you willing to say first that you want to try a committed relationship. You obviously think more of him than your letting yourself believe. I know it's scary being emotionally vulnerable but you could be missing out on something special. If you don't try you'll always have those what ifs x "
I know it's why I don't want to finish it completely. I'm just so damn confused as to whether we're suited,if I'm honest we're probably not.
He's more bubbly,upbeat and positive,I'm not. He has a problem with bisexuality which I don't understand,he's never had casual sex,group sex etc. He loves fancy dress,I hate it. He goes all out at Halloween,I hibernate now my kid's are older! I'm not even sure what he sees in me |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"I'd be pissed off he was going to do it anyway. He clearly wouldn't think much of me of he was trying a date with someone else. I'd take it as a sign to end it with him.
That's a little bit presumptuous if you've never even discussed going exclusive!!I think such dilemmas simply focus the mind - is it time to agree to something together? I hate ambiguity - far better to have the talk and decide!
but I think that's the problem I can't decide if he's right for me. One minute I think yes,the next minute no
I hear it! But my feeling is you have nothing to lose by going for it - it'll either work or won't, suck it and see lol!"
That's what I'm doing,but because I want to go at my speed it's frustrating him. He used to text early in the morning before my alarm went off then late at night to say goodnight. I told him to stop that,he barely need's any sleep but I do!
...and god damn it he snored when I stayed over  |
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"Why did he tell you about it? Was it just to say he is doing it or to see how you reacted to it?
I think the fact he told you about it is good but it depends of he wants to do it or not. "
I agree with the above, does he know you're on here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So he goes and falls for this date. Well you were never going to last anyway, so it's all for the best.
He goes and decides he actually wants to be with you, not anyone else. Well that's good too.
Seems an odd thing to be asking on a site for swinging to be honest. |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Why did he tell you about it? Was it just to say he is doing it or to see how you reacted to it?
I think the fact he told you about it is good but it depends of he wants to do it or not.
I agree with the above, does he know you're on here?"
Yes I mentioned it to him after a discussion the other week. Well I didn't tell him the name of the site to be precise,just that I was on the forum's. Which I am!
He hasn't questioned it since,but I would certainly tell him if he ask's. I'm very open. |
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"I'd be pissed off he was going to do it anyway. He clearly wouldn't think much of me of he was trying a date with someone else. I'd take it as a sign to end it with him.
That's a little bit presumptuous if you've never even discussed going exclusive!!I think such dilemmas simply focus the mind - is it time to agree to something together? I hate ambiguity - far better to have the talk and decide!
but I think that's the problem I can't decide if he's right for me. One minute I think yes,the next minute no
I hear it! But my feeling is you have nothing to lose by going for it - it'll either work or won't, suck it and see lol!
That's what I'm doing,but because I want to go at my speed it's frustrating him. He used to text early in the morning before my alarm went off then late at night to say goodnight. I told him to stop that,he barely need's any sleep but I do!
"
Haha, I love all that.....just turn the sound off on your phone when you go to sleep! |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"So he goes and falls for this date. Well you were never going to last anyway, so it's all for the best.
He goes and decides he actually wants to be with you, not anyone else. Well that's good too.
Seems an odd thing to be asking on a site for swinging to be honest. "
Doesn't it just |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"I'd be pissed off he was going to do it anyway. He clearly wouldn't think much of me of he was trying a date with someone else. I'd take it as a sign to end it with him.
That's a little bit presumptuous if you've never even discussed going exclusive!!I think such dilemmas simply focus the mind - is it time to agree to something together? I hate ambiguity - far better to have the talk and decide!
but I think that's the problem I can't decide if he's right for me. One minute I think yes,the next minute no
I hear it! But my feeling is you have nothing to lose by going for it - it'll either work or won't, suck it and see lol!
That's what I'm doing,but because I want to go at my speed it's frustrating him. He used to text early in the morning before my alarm went off then late at night to say goodnight. I told him to stop that,he barely need's any sleep but I do!
Haha, I love all that.....just turn the sound off on your phone when you go to sleep!"
I do,but it still beeps when a text come's through. He's stopped it now so that's ok |
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"I'd be pissed off he was going to do it anyway. He clearly wouldn't think much of me of he was trying a date with someone else. I'd take it as a sign to end it with him.
That's a little bit presumptuous if you've never even discussed going exclusive!!I think such dilemmas simply focus the mind - is it time to agree to something together? I hate ambiguity - far better to have the talk and decide!
but I think that's the problem I can't decide if he's right for me. One minute I think yes,the next minute no
I hear it! But my feeling is you have nothing to lose by going for it - it'll either work or won't, suck it and see lol!
That's what I'm doing,but because I want to go at my speed it's frustrating him. He used to text early in the morning before my alarm went off then late at night to say goodnight. I told him to stop that,he barely need's any sleep but I do!
Haha, I love all that.....just turn the sound off on your phone when you go to sleep!
I do,but it still beeps when a text come's through. He's stopped it now so that's ok "
If it beeps surely the sound is not off?? I always turn mine off as sometimes texts come through hours after they are sent anyway, I've been woken at 3am too many times! |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"
Haha, I love all that.....just turn the sound off on your phone when you go to sleep!
I do,but it still beeps when a text come's through. He's stopped it now so that's ok
If it beeps surely the sound is not off?? I always turn mine off as sometimes texts come through hours after they are sent anyway, I've been woken at 3am too many times!"
Or is it the vibration I hear on my bedside table I wonder! I would turn my phone off but I use the alarm on it in the morning,receiving text's at 3am would not make me a happy bunny! |
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"
Haha, I love all that.....just turn the sound off on your phone when you go to sleep!
I do,but it still beeps when a text come's through. He's stopped it now so that's ok
If it beeps surely the sound is not off?? I always turn mine off as sometimes texts come through hours after they are sent anyway, I've been woken at 3am too many times!
Or is it the vibration I hear on my bedside table I wonder! I would turn my phone off but I use the alarm on it in the morning,receiving text's at 3am would not make me a happy bunny!"
My samsung will go onto vibrate only, or totally silent, and either way the alarm works.
Havn't found a foolproof solution to the snoring yet though. .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It would be much worse if he hadn't told you. Two things to consider:
1 - If you want to date him tell him, if not then no issue
2 - What is the likelihood of meeting anyone that way
If it bothers you date him and see how it goes.
It appears to work for some of them and they run off into the night together
Well if you feel that way grab him and tell him you want him...then you'll know
Well I did say I'll fight my corner,but I shouldn't need to should I! "
Sometimes you have to fight for whst you want.
You got to remember her a guy...
We can be a bit slow and sometimes even need someone to draw us a picture before we get it..
Do what I always suggest...
Follow your  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It sounds as though you're both skirting around the issue. Testing the waters as it is, but neither of you willing to say first that you want to try a committed relationship. You obviously think more of him than your letting yourself believe. I know it's scary being emotionally vulnerable but you could be missing out on something special. If you don't try you'll always have those what ifs x
I know it's why I don't want to finish it completely. I'm just so damn confused as to whether we're suited,if I'm honest we're probably not.
He's more bubbly,upbeat and positive,I'm not. He has a problem with bisexuality which I don't understand,he's never had casual sex,group sex etc. He loves fancy dress,I hate it. He goes all out at Halloween,I hibernate now my kid's are older! I'm not even sure what he sees in me "
What do you see in him? |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"It would be much worse if he hadn't told you. Two things to consider:
1 - If you want to date him tell him, if not then no issue
2 - What is the likelihood of meeting anyone that way
If it bothers you date him and see how it goes.
It appears to work for some of them and they run off into the night together
Well if you feel that way grab him and tell him you want him...then you'll know
Well I did say I'll fight my corner,but I shouldn't need to should I!
Sometimes you have to fight for whst you want.
You got to remember her a guy...
We can be a bit slow and sometimes even need someone to draw us a picture before we get it..
Do what I always suggest...
Follow your "
I've done that before...it didn't end well. |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"
What do you see in him?"
Well...he's tall which I love,physically fit,look's great in a tight t-shirt in or out of it .
He's affectionate,holding his hand as we're walking along feels natural,he's considerate and has helped me out a fair bit without me asking him. The fence where next door's dog kept getting in after killing our cat he's made it so it's higher,as they weren't doing anything.
He gave me a tv which he didn't use anymore as the picture was half missing on mine. I refused to buy another one til the picture had completely gone
...and most importantly he brings me white chocolate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It would be much worse if he hadn't told you. Two things to consider:
1 - If you want to date him tell him, if not then no issue
2 - What is the likelihood of meeting anyone that way
If it bothers you date him and see how it goes.
It appears to work for some of them and they run off into the night together
Well if you feel that way grab him and tell him you want him...then you'll know
Well I did say I'll fight my corner,but I shouldn't need to should I!
Sometimes you have to fight for whst you want.
You got to remember her a guy...
We can be a bit slow and sometimes even need someone to draw us a picture before we get it..
Do what I always suggest...
Follow your
I've done that before...it didn't end well."
Everybody has done that before and its not ended well...
History doesn't always repeat but it does create patterns...
The smart bit is recognising the patterns and doing something different the next time...
But life it doesn't come with guarantees..
Just opportunities..
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
What do you see in him?
Well...he's tall which I love,physically fit,look's great in a tight t-shirt in or out of it .
He's affectionate,holding his hand as we're walking along feels natural,he's considerate and has helped me out a fair bit without me asking him. The fence where next door's dog kept getting in after killing our cat he's made it so it's higher,as they weren't doing anything.
He gave me a tv which he didn't use anymore as the picture was half missing on mine. I refused to buy another one til the picture had completely gone
...and most importantly he brings me white chocolate "
He sounds nice.
Can your doctor help with the hormone issue? It'd be worth getting it sorted so you can think straight. |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"
What do you see in him?
Well...he's tall which I love,physically fit,look's great in a tight t-shirt in or out of it .
He's affectionate,holding his hand as we're walking along feels natural,he's considerate and has helped me out a fair bit without me asking him. The fence where next door's dog kept getting in after killing our cat he's made it so it's higher,as they weren't doing anything.
He gave me a tv which he didn't use anymore as the picture was half missing on mine. I refused to buy another one til the picture had completely gone
...and most importantly he brings me white chocolate
He sounds nice.
Can your doctor help with the hormone issue? It'd be worth getting it sorted so you can think straight. "
I've been putting it off really,but I should. The smallest thing is naffing the heck out of me,it wouldn't take much for us to fall out I don't think
He said this evening he tried to ring back the woman at First Dates today,but he got the amswering machine. Then he was tied up when she rang back,so called again and still no answer. I kinda muttered something,but wasn't in the mood for laughing it off... |
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