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"Hi peeps I was after a little advise I've been out on a few dates with someone but she's saying that I spend too much time seeing my boys in the evenings i try to see them as much as possible but she's making me feel bad for doing it obviously I will always choose my boys first but was just wondering if her behavior is normal " not good id say, will probably get worse rather than better and cause many problems. sorry love kids come first, either fit in or f*** off in my opinion. | |||
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"Thanks for the replies I have already told her that they will always come first she has got children so I don't see why see is being the way she is" Have you asked her? | |||
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"Thanks for the replies I have already told her that they will always come first she has got children so I don't see why see is being the way she is" What is she doing in the evenings, where are her kids, does she not spend time with them in the evening? What is she expecting you to do? I wouldn't tell someone twice if they didn't understand the first time. | |||
"They stay with me every other weekend and I only pop to c them a couple of hours during the week rest of my time is either working or being with her" Well, as I said above it seems to be normal for her for whatever reason. The choice you have now is whether it becomes normal for you. | |||
"They stay with me every other weekend and I only pop to c them a couple of hours during the week rest of my time is either working or being with her" Are you going to your exes home to see them? If so, Maybe that's the problem rarer than you seeing your kids (not that it should make a difference). | |||
"They stay with me every other weekend and I only pop to c them a couple of hours during the week rest of my time is either working or being with her Are you going to your exes home to see them? If so, Maybe that's the problem rarer than you seeing your kids (not that it should make a difference)." We mostly go back to mine or I take them for dinner | |||
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"Her behaviour is normal for her, do you want it to become normal for you?" | |||
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"Hi peeps I was after a little advise I've been out on a few dates with someone but she's saying that I spend too much time seeing my boys in the evenings i try to see them as much as possible but she's making me feel bad for doing it obviously I will always choose my boys first but was just wondering if her behavior is normal " This might sound harsh but bin the c**t no one should ever ever make you feel bad for spending time with your children. Well done to you as alot of single dads want nothing to do with there kids. So be proud and find someone who is willing to accept you and that your kids always come first | |||
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"Her behaviour is normal for her, do you want it to become normal for you?" Boom. That's perfect. | |||
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"Hi peeps I was after a little advise I've been out on a few dates with someone but she's saying that I spend too much time seeing my boys in the evenings i try to see them as much as possible but she's making me feel bad for doing it obviously I will always choose my boys first but was just wondering if her behavior is normal " No it's not ... get rid ... sorry to be harsh but it's a fact x | |||
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"It's typical and no uncommon. I know someone who gave her boyfriend an ultimatum, her or his daughter. I found that ironic as her daughter's own father didn't want anything to do with his child, which she constantly run him down for. Her boyfriend chose her. I would not want any man who would abandon a child for a relationship. " Cannot stand men without a damn spine. Like my ex! | |||
"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know." I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. | |||
"They stay with me every other weekend and I only pop to c them a couple of hours during the week rest of my time is either working or being with her" On the face of it, this is reasonable. | |||
"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know. I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. " There is no justification for her telling him he sees his kids too much. How many mothers would tolerate a man saying the same? Non, and quite rightly so. | |||
"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know. I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. There is no justification for her telling him he sees his kids too much. How many mothers would tolerate a man saying the same? Non, and quite rightly so. " It's about the needs of the children, not of the parents, and certainly not the needs of future partners. | |||
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"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know. I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. There is no justification for her telling him he sees his kids too much. How many mothers would tolerate a man saying the same? Non, and quite rightly so. It's about the needs of the children, not of the parents, and certainly not the needs of future partners." Exactly, so why are you, and others making allowances for the new partner? | |||
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"She needs to be told assertively that your children come first. If she can't accept that, then I'd consider breaking ties. " this  | |||
"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know. I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. There is no justification for her telling him he sees his kids too much. How many mothers would tolerate a man saying the same? Non, and quite rightly so. It's about the needs of the children, not of the parents, and certainly not the needs of future partners. Exactly, so why are you, and others making allowances for the new partner? " You've misunderstood the posts. | |||
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"Hi peeps I was after a little advise I've been out on a few dates with someone but she's saying that I spend too much time seeing my boys in the evenings i try to see them as much as possible but she's making me feel bad for doing it obviously I will always choose my boys first but was just wondering if her behavior is normal " The kids were there before her mate. Kindly remind her at first, it's only fair. | |||
"It's typical and no uncommon. I know someone who gave her boyfriend an ultimatum, her or his daughter. I found that ironic as her daughter's own father didn't want anything to do with his child, which she constantly run him down for. Her boyfriend chose her. I would not want any man who would abandon a child for a relationship. Cannot stand men without a damn spine. Like my ex!" My ex was like this He was in my daughters life for the first three months then his girlfriend didn't like the fact he would stay in on a weekend and spend time with our daughter when his mum had her So she gave him an an ultimatum he chose her Then he split with her and pretty much just drifted in and out of my daughter life occasionally All he girlfriends was the same never wanted him to spend time with my daughter or his other children Now it's backfired and our daughter who is now 26 refuses to have anything to do with because he always chose his many girlfriends over his children And he wonders why | |||
"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know. I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. There is no justification for her telling him he sees his kids too much. How many mothers would tolerate a man saying the same? Non, and quite rightly so. It's about the needs of the children, not of the parents, and certainly not the needs of future partners. Exactly, so why are you, and others making allowances for the new partner? You've misunderstood the posts." No I haven't. You wrote "but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." This selfish new partner is not a priority, they have no right dictating anything and it is not something that should be accepted or tolerated. Others wrote things like "we only know one side of the story" and "maybe she is trying to help balance your life" as though there is a possibility of her being justified saying what she did rather than simply selfish, inconsiderate and manipulative. | |||
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"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know. I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. There is no justification for her telling him he sees his kids too much. How many mothers would tolerate a man saying the same? Non, and quite rightly so. It's about the needs of the children, not of the parents, and certainly not the needs of future partners. Exactly, so why are you, and others making allowances for the new partner? You've misunderstood the posts. No I haven't. You wrote "but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." This selfish new partner is not a priority, they have no right dictating anything and it is not something that should be accepted or tolerated. Others wrote things like "we only know one side of the story" and "maybe she is trying to help balance your life" as though there is a possibility of her being justified saying what she did rather than simply selfish, inconsiderate and manipulative." You've given your own interpretation which i will state you're wrong. | |||
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"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know. I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. There is no justification for her telling him he sees his kids too much. How many mothers would tolerate a man saying the same? Non, and quite rightly so. It's about the needs of the children, not of the parents, and certainly not the needs of future partners. Exactly, so why are you, and others making allowances for the new partner? You've misunderstood the posts. No I haven't. You wrote "but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." This selfish new partner is not a priority, they have no right dictating anything and it is not something that should be accepted or tolerated. Others wrote things like "we only know one side of the story" and "maybe she is trying to help balance your life" as though there is a possibility of her being justified saying what she did rather than simply selfish, inconsiderate and manipulative. You've given your own interpretation which i will state you're wrong." I notice you don`t state how I am wrong.. how else am I to interpret you saying that kids "must also learn" that they are not daddy's priority but the new squeeze is? I appreciate (hope) that you are pondering a life lesson in general rather than endorsing this specific behavior however you chose to apply it to this situation and as such, imply that dad`s need for a jump is more important than quality time with them. - "circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." | |||
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"Good for you making your boys a priority If she can't accept that then clearly she lacks compassion and understanding that you have responsibility of children .... More men should take your lead and be a parent ... Good luck hun xx" | |||
"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know. I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. " I`m quoting this bit again because it is particularly pertinant. You all seem to think that seeing your kids should be balenced out and this is the crux of why I take issue with what has been said, for a few reasons. Firstly kids are a responsibilty, not a hobby or a chore. It should be full time responsibility however breakups dictate that it is not always possible. Secondly, I`m sure OP would like to see them even more regularly if he could so it is not in his (or the kids) interests to see them less. Lastly, (only because i can`t be bothered detailing everything that is wrong with the quoted opinions) A relationship that excludes your children should have no importance in your life and pursuing it at the expense of your relationship with your children is a surefire way of tipping the balance completely the wrong way. | |||
"Hi peeps I was after a little advise I've been out on a few dates with someone but she's saying that I spend too much time seeing my boys in the evenings i try to see them as much as possible but she's making me feel bad for doing it obviously I will always choose my boys first but was just wondering if her behavior is normal " Your kids come first, if she dont like it show her the door | |||
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"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know. I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. There is no justification for her telling him he sees his kids too much. How many mothers would tolerate a man saying the same? Non, and quite rightly so. It's about the needs of the children, not of the parents, and certainly not the needs of future partners. Exactly, so why are you, and others making allowances for the new partner? You've misunderstood the posts. No I haven't. You wrote "but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." This selfish new partner is not a priority, they have no right dictating anything and it is not something that should be accepted or tolerated. Others wrote things like "we only know one side of the story" and "maybe she is trying to help balance your life" as though there is a possibility of her being justified saying what she did rather than simply selfish, inconsiderate and manipulative. You've given your own interpretation which i will state you're wrong. I notice you don`t state how I am wrong.. how else am I to interpret you saying that kids "must also learn" that they are not daddy's priority but the new squeeze is? I appreciate (hope) that you are pondering a life lesson in general rather than endorsing this specific behavior however you chose to apply it to this situation and as such, imply that dad`s need for a jump is more important than quality time with them. - "circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." " Your assumptions are just too much. You assume i was referring to this woman the OP has been dating - wrong. The woman isn't even his partner. No one knows what lies ahead, but if we instil routine and stability into our children's lives, then when hiccups occur, they'll be able to handle life better. Scenario: OP sees kids every other weekend. They know that's their quality time with dad. OP introduced new partner (future scenario). Kids accept she is part of his life but he still sets aside time for them without her. This is the part where he prioritises them when all is considered equal. Partner is involved in accident. She is now the priority. Kids are put on hold, with support. See, life's hiccups. Don't assume you know what someone means, instead ask them. You won't end up with egg on your face then. | |||
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"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know. I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. There is no justification for her telling him he sees his kids too much. How many mothers would tolerate a man saying the same? Non, and quite rightly so. It's about the needs of the children, not of the parents, and certainly not the needs of future partners. Exactly, so why are you, and others making allowances for the new partner? You've misunderstood the posts. No I haven't. You wrote "but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." This selfish new partner is not a priority, they have no right dictating anything and it is not something that should be accepted or tolerated. Others wrote things like "we only know one side of the story" and "maybe she is trying to help balance your life" as though there is a possibility of her being justified saying what she did rather than simply selfish, inconsiderate and manipulative. You've given your own interpretation which i will state you're wrong. I notice you don`t state how I am wrong.. how else am I to interpret you saying that kids "must also learn" that they are not daddy's priority but the new squeeze is? I appreciate (hope) that you are pondering a life lesson in general rather than endorsing this specific behavior however you chose to apply it to this situation and as such, imply that dad`s need for a jump is more important than quality time with them. - "circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." Your assumptions are just too much. You assume i was referring to this woman the OP has been dating - wrong. The woman isn't even his partner. No one knows what lies ahead, but if we instil routine and stability into our children's lives, then when hiccups occur, they'll be able to handle life better. Scenario: OP sees kids every other weekend. They know that's their quality time with dad. OP introduced new partner (future scenario). Kids accept she is part of his life but he still sets aside time for them without her. This is the part where he prioritises them when all is considered equal. Partner is involved in accident. She is now the priority. Kids are put on hold, with support. See, life's hiccups. Don't assume you know what someone means, instead ask them. You won't end up with egg on your face then. " Nice sidestep, however it has no relevance to the topic and replies you quoted or any previous discussion. You creating an extreme, imaginary and contrived scenario to try and give credance to your statements does not leave me with egg on my face at all. In reality, the op is already giving the kids stability by seeing them regularly, the partner hasn`t had an accident and you commented in support of people saying that she may have some justification and be trying to do him a favour and balance his life. You even went as far as assumng authority to assert their points and now you expect me to believe that you were actually talking about something completely different and irrelevant to the topic being discussed? | |||
"Anyone who asks you to choose between them & your kids. Needs a kick up the arse & out the door. " Yep | |||
"Oh and I've actually suggested to a man separated from his wife that he needs to set up a routine. This is then beneficial for the kids and the parents in the future if they get partners. I've seen at first hand the trauma caused by selfish new partners and spineless dads. " And? Did you suggest he spent less time with the kids? | |||
"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know. I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. There is no justification for her telling him he sees his kids too much. How many mothers would tolerate a man saying the same? Non, and quite rightly so. It's about the needs of the children, not of the parents, and certainly not the needs of future partners. Exactly, so why are you, and others making allowances for the new partner? You've misunderstood the posts. No I haven't. You wrote "but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." This selfish new partner is not a priority, they have no right dictating anything and it is not something that should be accepted or tolerated. Others wrote things like "we only know one side of the story" and "maybe she is trying to help balance your life" as though there is a possibility of her being justified saying what she did rather than simply selfish, inconsiderate and manipulative. You've given your own interpretation which i will state you're wrong. I notice you don`t state how I am wrong.. how else am I to interpret you saying that kids "must also learn" that they are not daddy's priority but the new squeeze is? I appreciate (hope) that you are pondering a life lesson in general rather than endorsing this specific behavior however you chose to apply it to this situation and as such, imply that dad`s need for a jump is more important than quality time with them. - "circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." Your assumptions are just too much. You assume i was referring to this woman the OP has been dating - wrong. The woman isn't even his partner. No one knows what lies ahead, but if we instil routine and stability into our children's lives, then when hiccups occur, they'll be able to handle life better. Scenario: OP sees kids every other weekend. They know that's their quality time with dad. OP introduced new partner (future scenario). Kids accept she is part of his life but he still sets aside time for them without her. This is the part where he prioritises them when all is considered equal. Partner is involved in accident. She is now the priority. Kids are put on hold, with support. See, life's hiccups. Don't assume you know what someone means, instead ask them. You won't end up with egg on your face then. Nice sidestep, however it has no relevance to the topic and replies you quoted or any previous discussion. You creating an extreme, imaginary and contrived scenario to try and give credance to your statements does not leave me with egg on my face at all. In reality, the op is already giving the kids stability by seeing them regularly, the partner hasn`t had an accident and you commented in support of people saying that she may have some justification and be trying to do him a favour and balance his life. You even went as far as assumng authority to assert their points and now you expect me to believe that you were actually talking about something completely different and irrelevant to the topic being discussed? " I don't give two figs what you believe. At the time of posting i commented on posts prior to the ones i had quoted (ie not any that gave further info). You want to give credence to your assumptions, go ahead. The assumptions are simply wrong. | |||
"Oh and I've actually suggested to a man separated from his wife that he needs to set up a routine. This is then beneficial for the kids and the parents in the future if they get partners. I've seen at first hand the trauma caused by selfish new partners and spineless dads. And? Did you suggest he spent less time with the kids? " That's between him, the ex and the kids. | |||
"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know. I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. There is no justification for her telling him he sees his kids too much. How many mothers would tolerate a man saying the same? Non, and quite rightly so. It's about the needs of the children, not of the parents, and certainly not the needs of future partners. Exactly, so why are you, and others making allowances for the new partner? You've misunderstood the posts. No I haven't. You wrote "but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." This selfish new partner is not a priority, they have no right dictating anything and it is not something that should be accepted or tolerated. Others wrote things like "we only know one side of the story" and "maybe she is trying to help balance your life" as though there is a possibility of her being justified saying what she did rather than simply selfish, inconsiderate and manipulative. You've given your own interpretation which i will state you're wrong. I notice you don`t state how I am wrong.. how else am I to interpret you saying that kids "must also learn" that they are not daddy's priority but the new squeeze is? I appreciate (hope) that you are pondering a life lesson in general rather than endorsing this specific behavior however you chose to apply it to this situation and as such, imply that dad`s need for a jump is more important than quality time with them. - "circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." Your assumptions are just too much. You assume i was referring to this woman the OP has been dating - wrong. The woman isn't even his partner. No one knows what lies ahead, but if we instil routine and stability into our children's lives, then when hiccups occur, they'll be able to handle life better. Scenario: OP sees kids every other weekend. They know that's their quality time with dad. OP introduced new partner (future scenario). Kids accept she is part of his life but he still sets aside time for them without her. This is the part where he prioritises them when all is considered equal. Partner is involved in accident. She is now the priority. Kids are put on hold, with support. See, life's hiccups. Don't assume you know what someone means, instead ask them. You won't end up with egg on your face then. Nice sidestep, however it has no relevance to the topic and replies you quoted or any previous discussion. You creating an extreme, imaginary and contrived scenario to try and give credance to your statements does not leave me with egg on my face at all. In reality, the op is already giving the kids stability by seeing them regularly, the partner hasn`t had an accident and you commented in support of people saying that she may have some justification and be trying to do him a favour and balance his life. You even went as far as assumng authority to assert their points and now you expect me to believe that you were actually talking about something completely different and irrelevant to the topic being discussed? I don't give two figs what you believe. At the time of posting i commented on posts prior to the ones i had quoted (ie not any that gave further info). You want to give credence to your assumptions, go ahead. The assumptions are simply wrong." To continue I have the ability to look at the bigger picture and you see that as irrelevant to the topic - Rightio. | |||
"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know. I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. There is no justification for her telling him he sees his kids too much. How many mothers would tolerate a man saying the same? Non, and quite rightly so. It's about the needs of the children, not of the parents, and certainly not the needs of future partners. Exactly, so why are you, and others making allowances for the new partner? You've misunderstood the posts. No I haven't. You wrote "but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." This selfish new partner is not a priority, they have no right dictating anything and it is not something that should be accepted or tolerated. Others wrote things like "we only know one side of the story" and "maybe she is trying to help balance your life" as though there is a possibility of her being justified saying what she did rather than simply selfish, inconsiderate and manipulative. You've given your own interpretation which i will state you're wrong. I notice you don`t state how I am wrong.. how else am I to interpret you saying that kids "must also learn" that they are not daddy's priority but the new squeeze is? I appreciate (hope) that you are pondering a life lesson in general rather than endorsing this specific behavior however you chose to apply it to this situation and as such, imply that dad`s need for a jump is more important than quality time with them. - "circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." Your assumptions are just too much. You assume i was referring to this woman the OP has been dating - wrong. The woman isn't even his partner. No one knows what lies ahead, but if we instil routine and stability into our children's lives, then when hiccups occur, they'll be able to handle life better. Scenario: OP sees kids every other weekend. They know that's their quality time with dad. OP introduced new partner (future scenario). Kids accept she is part of his life but he still sets aside time for them without her. This is the part where he prioritises them when all is considered equal. Partner is involved in accident. She is now the priority. Kids are put on hold, with support. See, life's hiccups. Don't assume you know what someone means, instead ask them. You won't end up with egg on your face then. Nice sidestep, however it has no relevance to the topic and replies you quoted or any previous discussion. You creating an extreme, imaginary and contrived scenario to try and give credance to your statements does not leave me with egg on my face at all. In reality, the op is already giving the kids stability by seeing them regularly, the partner hasn`t had an accident and you commented in support of people saying that she may have some justification and be trying to do him a favour and balance his life. You even went as far as assumng authority to assert their points and now you expect me to believe that you were actually talking about something completely different and irrelevant to the topic being discussed? I don't give two figs what you believe. At the time of posting i commented on posts prior to the ones i had quoted (ie not any that gave further info). You want to give credence to your assumptions, go ahead. The assumptions are simply wrong." So you were commenting on earlier post but decided to quote, reference and agree to different ones? Btw, there are no other post remotely relevent to your comment. Only the ones you quoted.. | |||
"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know. I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. There is no justification for her telling him he sees his kids too much. How many mothers would tolerate a man saying the same? Non, and quite rightly so. It's about the needs of the children, not of the parents, and certainly not the needs of future partners. Exactly, so why are you, and others making allowances for the new partner? You've misunderstood the posts. No I haven't. You wrote "but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." This selfish new partner is not a priority, they have no right dictating anything and it is not something that should be accepted or tolerated. Others wrote things like "we only know one side of the story" and "maybe she is trying to help balance your life" as though there is a possibility of her being justified saying what she did rather than simply selfish, inconsiderate and manipulative. You've given your own interpretation which i will state you're wrong. I notice you don`t state how I am wrong.. how else am I to interpret you saying that kids "must also learn" that they are not daddy's priority but the new squeeze is? I appreciate (hope) that you are pondering a life lesson in general rather than endorsing this specific behavior however you chose to apply it to this situation and as such, imply that dad`s need for a jump is more important than quality time with them. - "circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." Your assumptions are just too much. You assume i was referring to this woman the OP has been dating - wrong. The woman isn't even his partner. No one knows what lies ahead, but if we instil routine and stability into our children's lives, then when hiccups occur, they'll be able to handle life better. Scenario: OP sees kids every other weekend. They know that's their quality time with dad. OP introduced new partner (future scenario). Kids accept she is part of his life but he still sets aside time for them without her. This is the part where he prioritises them when all is considered equal. Partner is involved in accident. She is now the priority. Kids are put on hold, with support. See, life's hiccups. Don't assume you know what someone means, instead ask them. You won't end up with egg on your face then. Nice sidestep, however it has no relevance to the topic and replies you quoted or any previous discussion. You creating an extreme, imaginary and contrived scenario to try and give credance to your statements does not leave me with egg on my face at all. In reality, the op is already giving the kids stability by seeing them regularly, the partner hasn`t had an accident and you commented in support of people saying that she may have some justification and be trying to do him a favour and balance his life. You even went as far as assumng authority to assert their points and now you expect me to believe that you were actually talking about something completely different and irrelevant to the topic being discussed? I don't give two figs what you believe. At the time of posting i commented on posts prior to the ones i had quoted (ie not any that gave further info). You want to give credence to your assumptions, go ahead. The assumptions are simply wrong. To continue I have the ability to look at the bigger picture and you see that as irrelevant to the topic - Rightio. " It`s not "the bigger picture", it is irrelevant nonsense. A completely made up and nonsensical viewpoint/scenario and nothing to do with the topic in discussion. One that you only alluded to after the fact. | |||
"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know. I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. There is no justification for her telling him he sees his kids too much. How many mothers would tolerate a man saying the same? Non, and quite rightly so. It's about the needs of the children, not of the parents, and certainly not the needs of future partners. Exactly, so why are you, and others making allowances for the new partner? You've misunderstood the posts. No I haven't. You wrote "but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." This selfish new partner is not a priority, they have no right dictating anything and it is not something that should be accepted or tolerated. Others wrote things like "we only know one side of the story" and "maybe she is trying to help balance your life" as though there is a possibility of her being justified saying what she did rather than simply selfish, inconsiderate and manipulative. You've given your own interpretation which i will state you're wrong. I notice you don`t state how I am wrong.. how else am I to interpret you saying that kids "must also learn" that they are not daddy's priority but the new squeeze is? I appreciate (hope) that you are pondering a life lesson in general rather than endorsing this specific behavior however you chose to apply it to this situation and as such, imply that dad`s need for a jump is more important than quality time with them. - "circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." Your assumptions are just too much. You assume i was referring to this woman the OP has been dating - wrong. The woman isn't even his partner. No one knows what lies ahead, but if we instil routine and stability into our children's lives, then when hiccups occur, they'll be able to handle life better. Scenario: OP sees kids every other weekend. They know that's their quality time with dad. OP introduced new partner (future scenario). Kids accept she is part of his life but he still sets aside time for them without her. This is the part where he prioritises them when all is considered equal. Partner is involved in accident. She is now the priority. Kids are put on hold, with support. See, life's hiccups. Don't assume you know what someone means, instead ask them. You won't end up with egg on your face then. Nice sidestep, however it has no relevance to the topic and replies you quoted or any previous discussion. You creating an extreme, imaginary and contrived scenario to try and give credance to your statements does not leave me with egg on my face at all. In reality, the op is already giving the kids stability by seeing them regularly, the partner hasn`t had an accident and you commented in support of people saying that she may have some justification and be trying to do him a favour and balance his life. You even went as far as assumng authority to assert their points and now you expect me to believe that you were actually talking about something completely different and irrelevant to the topic being discussed? I don't give two figs what you believe. At the time of posting i commented on posts prior to the ones i had quoted (ie not any that gave further info). You want to give credence to your assumptions, go ahead. The assumptions are simply wrong. To continue I have the ability to look at the bigger picture and you see that as irrelevant to the topic - Rightio. It`s not "the bigger picture", it is irrelevant nonsense. A completely made up and nonsensical viewpoint/scenario and nothing to do with the topic in discussion. One that you only alluded to after the fact." The bigger picture is totally relevant when the well-being of children are concerned. The scenario was used to elucidate that hiccups occur in life. You're short-sighted = your problem. You continue chasing your tail cos i won't engage with you further. | |||
"Although I generally agree with the above posts, a happy life is about balance. Obviously only you know what you are doing with your time and if you are spending too much or too little time in one area. Kids are important, but so are relationships. You need to make sure you are striking the right balance. Again, we are just outsiders, maybe this woman is trying to help you find the right balance, maybe she is trying to tip the balance too far the other way. Only you know. I was going to play devil's advocate and state something similar. Children need routine. Yes they should be a priority when all things are equal, but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities. There is no justification for her telling him he sees his kids too much. How many mothers would tolerate a man saying the same? Non, and quite rightly so. It's about the needs of the children, not of the parents, and certainly not the needs of future partners. Exactly, so why are you, and others making allowances for the new partner? You've misunderstood the posts. No I haven't. You wrote "but must also learn circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." This selfish new partner is not a priority, they have no right dictating anything and it is not something that should be accepted or tolerated. Others wrote things like "we only know one side of the story" and "maybe she is trying to help balance your life" as though there is a possibility of her being justified saying what she did rather than simply selfish, inconsiderate and manipulative. You've given your own interpretation which i will state you're wrong. I notice you don`t state how I am wrong.. how else am I to interpret you saying that kids "must also learn" that they are not daddy's priority but the new squeeze is? I appreciate (hope) that you are pondering a life lesson in general rather than endorsing this specific behavior however you chose to apply it to this situation and as such, imply that dad`s need for a jump is more important than quality time with them. - "circumstances may produce hiccups, dictating other priorities." Your assumptions are just too much. You assume i was referring to this woman the OP has been dating - wrong. The woman isn't even his partner. No one knows what lies ahead, but if we instil routine and stability into our children's lives, then when hiccups occur, they'll be able to handle life better. Scenario: OP sees kids every other weekend. They know that's their quality time with dad. OP introduced new partner (future scenario). Kids accept she is part of his life but he still sets aside time for them without her. This is the part where he prioritises them when all is considered equal. Partner is involved in accident. She is now the priority. Kids are put on hold, with support. See, life's hiccups. Don't assume you know what someone means, instead ask them. You won't end up with egg on your face then. Nice sidestep, however it has no relevance to the topic and replies you quoted or any previous discussion. You creating an extreme, imaginary and contrived scenario to try and give credance to your statements does not leave me with egg on my face at all. In reality, the op is already giving the kids stability by seeing them regularly, the partner hasn`t had an accident and you commented in support of people saying that she may have some justification and be trying to do him a favour and balance his life. You even went as far as assumng authority to assert their points and now you expect me to believe that you were actually talking about something completely different and irrelevant to the topic being discussed? I don't give two figs what you believe. At the time of posting i commented on posts prior to the ones i had quoted (ie not any that gave further info). You want to give credence to your assumptions, go ahead. The assumptions are simply wrong. To continue I have the ability to look at the bigger picture and you see that as irrelevant to the topic - Rightio. It`s not "the bigger picture", it is irrelevant nonsense. A completely made up and nonsensical viewpoint/scenario and nothing to do with the topic in discussion. One that you only alluded to after the fact. The bigger picture is totally relevant when the well-being of children are concerned. The scenario was used to elucidate that hiccups occur in life. You're short-sighted = your problem. You continue chasing your tail cos i won't engage with you further." Of course the bigger picture is relevant, however you are not giving "the bigger picture", you are inventing a nonapplicable and unrelated scenario to detract from the comment you originally made agreeing that time with kids should be balanced with giving the new partner more attention. This new partner has not had an accident, nor is the situation anything like the scenario you propose. There is also no need to elucidate that hiccups occur, firstly because it is obvious and secondly the topic is about a specific circumstance to which your "wisdom" does not apply. As for me being short sighted, that is an assumption of yours. You wont find anything in my posts that you can quote to prove yourself right however my "assumptions" are based on your own words and I can, and have displayed the reasons and justifications for my conclusion. You had opportunity to counter them but instead chose to offer nothing more than condescension and deviation. | |||
