FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > False addresses/meets

False addresses/meets

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

What is gained? Made me feel vulnerable

Hidden profile now. One less single female meeting

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why, oh why do people do this?

I feel for you because it has also happened to me and I totally get the vulnerability thing ... x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why, oh why do people do this?

I feel for you because it has also happened to me and I totally get the vulnerability thing ... x"

I was part of a couple but now single status is difficult

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do you mean they gave you a false address of where they lived?

Did you not arrange to meet them in a public place first of all?

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Sounds like a shitty thing to do OP. Hope you didn't have too far to travel x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do you mean they gave you a false address of where they lived?

Did you not arrange to meet them in a public place first of all?"

Stupid I know

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

best to meet somewhere close by but in a public place - pub or coffee shop - chat and make up your mind before going on to play

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sounds like a shitty thing to do OP. Hope you didn't have too far to travel x

45 min drive both ways but that wasn't the issue. At least I'm safe

I may only meet at clubs now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

there's too many stories like this. Someone said yesterday that the few idiots do t actually spoil it for everyone, I think they do in a way. When you hear stories like these, it makes you a little worried. And may stop you having and adventure instead.

I'm sorrry op, hopefully you'll brush it off soon, not everyone is here to waste your time and mess you around, that's a fact.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"best to meet somewhere close by but in a public place - pub or coffee shop - chat and make up your mind before going on to play"

X thank you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do you mean they gave you a false address of where they lived?

Did you not arrange to meet them in a public place first of all?"

Hindsight is a wonderful thing sometimes ... and we all make errors of judgement in all walks of life x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"best to meet somewhere close by but in a public place - pub or coffee shop - chat and make up your mind before going on to play"

All good advice in hindsight but you can bet they live very close by to look at the person arrive at the said address

My heart goes out to you ladies - once one the worst things to do on a single fem or anyone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The most important thing is that you are ok and have learned from the experience. Plenty of genuine guys out there.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The most important thing is that you are ok and have learned from the experience. Plenty of genuine guys out there."

X thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"best to meet somewhere close by but in a public place - pub or coffee shop - chat and make up your mind before going on to play

All good advice in hindsight but you can bet they live very close by to look at the person arrive at the said address

My heart goes out to you ladies - once one the worst things to do on a single fem or anyone "

Need some time out to build my confidence

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"best to meet somewhere close by but in a public place - pub or coffee shop - chat and make up your mind before going on to play

All good advice in hindsight but you can bet they live very close by to look at the person arrive at the said address

My heart goes out to you ladies - once one the worst things to do on a single fem or anyone

Need some time out to build my confidence "

You need to talk to/meet someone who can build that confidence. It quickly restored your faith in people when someone can prove it to you, or the doubt sits there for too long and turns bitter. Have faith in the good people, there's more of us than them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"best to meet somewhere close by but in a public place - pub or coffee shop - chat and make up your mind before going on to play

All good advice in hindsight but you can bet they live very close by to look at the person arrive at the said address

My heart goes out to you ladies - once one the worst things to do on a single fem or anyone

Need some time out to build my confidence "

Of course, but the forum is a good place to do that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do you mean they gave you a false address of where they lived?

Did you not arrange to meet them in a public place first of all?

Hindsight is a wonderful thing sometimes ... and we all make errors of judgement in all walks of life x"

That is just plain common sense though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"best to meet somewhere close by but in a public place - pub or coffee shop - chat and make up your mind before going on to play

All good advice in hindsight but you can bet they live very close by to look at the person arrive at the said address

My heart goes out to you ladies - once one the worst things to do on a single fem or anyone "

still better than rocking up at a wrong address - plus you can do that in a public place - and not go in but at least nobody is in a 'wrong' place

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"best to meet somewhere close by but in a public place - pub or coffee shop - chat and make up your mind before going on to play

All good advice in hindsight but you can bet they live very close by to look at the person arrive at the said address

My heart goes out to you ladies - once one the worst things to do on a single fem or anyone

Need some time out to build my confidence

Of course, but the forum is a good place to do that "

Thank u

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do you mean they gave you a false address of where they lived?

Did you not arrange to meet them in a public place first of all?

Hindsight is a wonderful thing sometimes ... and we all make errors of judgement in all walks of life x

That is just plain common sense though

Do t worry I already feel a complete idiot but I used to have an fb to protect me

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By *eliciously DirtyMan over a year ago

sawley

This happened to us both with a single guy, although it was a hotel the guy was supposed to be staying at during the working week, after waiting nearly an hour , calling his mobile and messaging his profile all without a reply we showed his profile and picture to the main reception and the bar and they didn’t recognise him at all, later when at home noticed his profile was turned off, we set another profile up to trace this guy we found him again and have him in our hotlist since then every week his profile changes locations , we’ve reported him as a total waste of time but sadly he’s still a site member

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By *r on the EdgeMan over a year ago

accrington

Personally if I'm arranging a social I will always arrange it local to the female so that she isn't feeling vulnerable and feels much safer and comfortable in her familiar surroundings

Hope you can shrug this one off OP we aren't all that bad

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You need to follow basic safety advice as a single woman. Rocking up at someone's house who you don't know is really naive. You are lucky that you just had a wasted journey it could have been worse. Did you even speak on the phone first?

In future meet at a mutually convenient PUBLIC place. Make sure someone knows where you have gone and trust your gut instinct. Don't rock up at someone's house until you have at least had a social in a public place

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"This happened to us both with a single guy, although it was a hotel the guy was supposed to be staying at during the working week, after waiting nearly an hour , calling his mobile and messaging his profile all without a reply we showed his profile and picture to the main reception and the bar and they didn’t recognise him at all, later when at home noticed his profile was turned off, we set another profile up to trace this guy we found him again and have him in our hotlist since then every week his profile changes locations , we’ve reported him as a total waste of time but sadly he’s still a site member "

I wonder what they gain from it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You need to follow basic safety advice as a single woman. Rocking up at someone's house who you don't know is really naive. You are lucky that you just had a wasted journey it could have been worse. Did you even speak on the phone first?

I've been on here two years but with an fb. Now it's a new ball game with new rules. Your advice is harsh but certainly fair. Thank you for taking the time to message xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Personally if I'm arranging a social I will always arrange it local to the female so that she isn't feeling vulnerable and feels much safer and comfortable in her familiar surroundings

Hope you can shrug this one off OP we aren't all that bad "

A little too naive me thinks!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Personally if I'm arranging a social I will always arrange it local to the female so that she isn't feeling vulnerable and feels much safer and comfortable in her familiar surroundings

Hope you can shrug this one off OP we aren't all that bad

A little too naive me thinks!!"

No harm done and you have support here

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By *eeBee67Man over a year ago

Masked and Distant

Not been in the situation (yet - I live in hope).

But my plan / idea when an initial meeting is being arranged, is to let the female set the meeting place.

Chin up Belle, we are not all axe murderers

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Not been in the situation (yet - I live in hope).

But my plan / idea when an initial meeting is being arranged, is to let the female set the meeting place.

Chin up Belle, we are not all axe murderers

Xxx it's frightened me a little if I'm honest

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By *eeBee67Man over a year ago

Masked and Distant

"Not been in the situation (yet - I live in hope).

But my plan / idea when an initial meeting is being arranged, is to let the female set the meeting place.

Chin up Belle, we are not all axe murderers

Xxx it's frightened me a little if I'm honest "

Im not surprised.

Important thing is, you are safe, and obviously learned from the experience.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been on here two years but with an fb. Now it's a new ball game with new rules. Your advice is harsh but certainly fair. Thank you for taking the time to message xxx"

Sorry I don't mean to be harsh but you really need to keep yourself safe there are some crazies out there x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im finding guys don't want to meet in public like go for a coffee or drink. However I'm being firm and just not meeting them in that case.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I will always meet in a public place if they aren't comfortable with that then it's a no go.

Forget about it now it's all done your safe and well. Put a smile on your face and good luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im finding guys don't want to meet in public like go for a coffee or drink. However I'm being firm and just not meeting them in that case.

My answer to that would be no problem. Next! If he's unwilling to meet for a public social my alarms bells would already be ringing- what's he trying to hide?

Ok it's easy for me in a way because although I'm on a single profile I'm not single nor currently meeting but I did meets as a single in the past and I did some irresponsible stuff but my rule of social first and someone knowing where I was at all times were rules I wouldn't break.

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By *hips n FursMan over a year ago

Huddersfield

Don't beat yourself up too much OP,we all live and learn kid.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can only guess that someone has set up a fake account posing as an ex in order to have them look to their neighbours like they are accommodating large numbers of people for dubious reasons.I suppose this site lends itself to such people very well.

How would you go about planting pampas grass outside your ex's house?

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By *uciyassMan over a year ago

sheffield

I have just this minute contacted fabswingers admin about this exact problem below is message I sent xxxx

Good morning. I don’t know if you can do anything about this issue that many are having on here but it relates to time wasters and fake profiles. Ive had many contacts must be in 109s now of people I chat to either arranging a meet as they indicate they are interested. I always spend time chatting before I meet and the minute I say yes and request a location I’m either blocked or their profile is deleted also I’ve been given a location got ready and gone to it and. Also given my address and no one shows and again blocked or deleted profile. Also those members that have no profile photos wanting to chat.

Is thier no way that every person joining here and fabswingers miust be photo verified to use site. I know the genuine people would have no problem.

It is so frustrating to us genuine people who want to have genuine fun

Thank you

John

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By *uniperjuiceMan over a year ago

East Midlands

No need to send a detailed memo. There's a button to report a profile to Admin for this sort of thing.

OP: hope this won't put you off altogether; just make you a bit more careful. There are decent folk on here who do honour their commitments.

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By *uciyassMan over a year ago

sheffield

"No need to send a detailed memo. There's a button to report a profile to Admin for this sort of thing.

OP: hope this won't put you off altogether; just make you a bit more careful. There are decent folk on here who do honour their commitments."

My experience of the report buttOn is it doesn’t work. Ive done it and they were still on and also if they delete thier profile or block you before you get a chance what are you to do. Its more about getting people photo verified at least then it may control the genuine people and help the site xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I will always meet in a public place if they aren't comfortable with that then it's a no go.

Forget about it now it's all done your safe and well. Put a smile on your face and good luck

Correct. If a guy, or woman for that matter, isn't willing to meet in public then I'd be suspicious. It's a sad state of affairs that there are LOTS of people out there that get some sort of a kick out of cafishing people. Trust me, as a single guy who has used various websites it's rife and people shouldn't brush it over as just "some random idiot". The whole guy posing as a woman thing is the worst and whilst the internet has been a blessing for so many it's also been a portal for some of the saddest members of society to wreak havoc.

Hope the experience hasn't put you off OP. Did you cam verify the guy before the meet btw?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I've been on here two years but with an fb. Now it's a new ball game with new rules. Your advice is harsh but certainly fair. Thank you for taking the time to message xxx

Sorry I don't mean to be harsh but you really need to keep yourself safe there are some crazies out there x "

No harsh is good. I think harsh is right in this instant. It's totally appropriate and I thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Im finding guys don't want to meet in public like go for a coffee or drink. However I'm being firm and just not meeting them in that case.

Well done. Thank u x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I will always meet in a public place if they aren't comfortable with that then it's a no go.

Forget about it now it's all done your safe and well. Put a smile on your face and good luck

Yes onwards and upwards x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't beat yourself up too much OP,we all live and learn kid."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im finding guys don't want to meet in public like go for a coffee or drink. However I'm being firm and just not meeting them in that case.

Well done. Thank u x "

Your finding 'some guys' won't.

or the guys you've already spoke to won't.

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By *j_markCouple over a year ago
Forum Mod

Totteridge/Whetstone

There's tips for safe meeting in the fab faq:

Do you have any tips for safe meeting?

Don't forget that the only person responsible for your safety is you, so don't put yourself in a situation where a stranger can let you down. These are some tips to help:

* Don't give strangers your home phone number, your usual mobile number or your address or let them know where you work. Buy a spare PAYG SIM for your mobile and use it for initial contacts.

* Don't rely on strangers for transport, so don't agree to go somewhere in a car with someone you don't know.

* Don't turn up to strange addresses without having met the people you're expecting, first, beforehand.

* Always meet first somewhere safe and public (a cafe) first.

* Always tell someone you trust who you're going to meet, and where.

* Don't arrange meets without having spoken to the people you're expecting to meet first on phone OR on seen on cam.

* Don't invite strangers into your home.

* Don't put yourself in a situation where if someone doesn't turn up, you'll be upset. So don't travel 100s of miles and book into a hotel in the expectation of meeting someone unless you've met them beforehand.

Attending an organised social or a swinging club meet is a good place to start.

Admin

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