FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Has fab made anyone else forget how to flirt in the vanilla world?
Has fab made anyone else forget how to flirt in the vanilla world?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, if anything it's been useful practice 
I have no idea what I'm doing  "
I second this.. i am currently finding 'vanilla' dating difficult..
Don't know if it is my expectations or pre predicting intentions? Haha..
Wanting the best of both worlds - is it realistic ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, if anything it's been useful practice
I have no idea what I'm doing "
You can't block and delete in the real world.
Then again you can't ask for a lot of prerequisites before they start chatting to you. If they do.
People in the real world have no idea. None of us do we find the comfort of a keyboard too easy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm glad some of you feel my pain
The situation - I've worked a couple of shifts with a guy at work, we don't see each other often (he does evening shifts on the bar, I tend to do breakfast shifts) which could work in our favour as that means we could keep things more private. We've talked on Facebook, he asked for my number so he could text me the rota. But do I ask him out for a drink? How? When? What?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, if anything it's been useful practice
I have no idea what I'm doing
You can't block and delete in the real world.
Then again you can't ask for a lot of prerequisites before they start chatting to you. If they do.
People in the real world have no idea. None of us do we find the comfort of a keyboard too easy. "
You can walk away, showing your palm, shaking your head saying "Never gonna happen, mate. Never gonna happen". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm glad some of you feel my pain
The situation - I've worked a couple of shifts with a guy at work, we don't see each other often (he does evening shifts on the bar, I tend to do breakfast shifts) which could work in our favour as that means we could keep things more private. We've talked on Facebook, he asked for my number so he could text me the rota. But do I ask him out for a drink? How? When? What? "
Say "I'll swap the rota for a drink with you" lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there's two separate dynamics to this.
Flirting online like fab is hardly flirting, it misses body language and context is easily lost in text type communication where it is far more emphasised in person.
But I do agree that at times I'm perhaps a bit too forward in vanilla dates possibly due to developing a sense of sexual association with Flirting as a result of previous fab socials or meets.
But at least vanilla dates quickly get a flavour of who we truly are.
Win some, lose many!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm glad some of you feel my pain
The situation - I've worked a couple of shifts with a guy at work, we don't see each other often (he does evening shifts on the bar, I tend to do breakfast shifts) which could work in our favour as that means we could keep things more private. We've talked on Facebook, he asked for my number so he could text me the rota. But do I ask him out for a drink? How? When? What?
Say "I'll swap the rota for a drink with you" lol "
That's so naff! Why didn't I think of it  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I don't flirt. I just hope if I send enough hints or subconscious clues they'll eventually pick up on it - on here and in the real world.
But I do wonder how certain behaviour translates 'out there'. Good thread OP for my nosiness.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm glad some of you feel my pain
The situation - I've worked a couple of shifts with a guy at work, we don't see each other often (he does evening shifts on the bar, I tend to do breakfast shifts) which could work in our favour as that means we could keep things more private. We've talked on Facebook, he asked for my number so he could text me the rota. But do I ask him out for a drink? How? When? What? "
Just ask him, don't be afraid of being direct with a guy... if you're too subtle, men tend to err on the side of caution in case we've misunderstood. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think most men in the vanilla word haven't a clue with the art of seduction .
And on here I'm sick of hi what you upto or done anything exciting .I'm near you will you suck me off .blah blah blah blah so boring .  |
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By *icker2010Man
over a year ago
cambs/london/Norfolk |
"No, I'm not kidding.  I've not forgotten.. just never been able to do it x
Then again I am useless on here too x
Cali "
I think that's hit the nail on the head. Some folks are good at flirting and a natural at pulling some of us find it harder. A meet from fabs at least sets the ball rolling even if it only stays platonic |
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By *icker2010Man
over a year ago
cambs/london/Norfolk |
"I think most men in the vanilla word haven't a clue with the art of seduction .
And on here I'm sick of hi what you upto or done anything exciting .I'm near you will you suck me off .blah blah blah blah so boring . "
Agree .. the should take a look at the noble art of seduction by kezia noble I wished I'd had a book like that when I was younger |
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By *icker2010Man
over a year ago
cambs/london/Norfolk |
"I'm glad some of you feel my pain
The situation - I've worked a couple of shifts with a guy at work, we don't see each other often (he does evening shifts on the bar, I tend to do breakfast shifts) which could work in our favour as that means we could keep things more private. We've talked on Facebook, he asked for my number so he could text me the rota. But do I ask him out for a drink? How? When? What?
Just ask him, don't be afraid of being direct with a guy... if you're too subtle, men tend to err on the side of caution in case we've misunderstood."
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By *ineMan
over a year ago
In cave behind a waterfall on a hill |
Flirt?...
What's this....
I thought growing opposable thumbs was hard...
So much to learn..
Sneaks back into the man cave before I'm seen out in daylight.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think most men in the vanilla word haven't a clue with the art of seduction .
And on here I'm sick of hi what you upto or done anything exciting .I'm near you will you suck me off .blah blah blah blah so boring .
Agree .. the should take a look at the noble art of seduction by kezia noble I wished I'd had a book like that when I was younger"
The biggest organ is the brain a man needs to get into the women's brain and then the fun starts .  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm glad some of you feel my pain
The situation - I've worked a couple of shifts with a guy at work, we don't see each other often (he does evening shifts on the bar, I tend to do breakfast shifts) which could work in our favour as that means we could keep things more private. We've talked on Facebook, he asked for my number so he could text me the rota. But do I ask him out for a drink? How? When? What?
Say "I'll swap the rota for a drink with you" lol
That's so naff! Why didn't I think of it "
So naff he won't know if you're joking or not. If he says sorry, no, you can make out you were just having a laugh with him |
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"I don't flirt. I just hope if I send enough hints or subconscious clues they'll eventually pick up on it - on here and in the real world.
But I do wonder how certain behaviour translates 'out there'. Good thread OP for my nosiness. "
Typical see the man has to be a mind reader |
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"I think most men in the vanilla word haven't a clue with the art of seduction .
And on here I'm sick of hi what you upto or done anything exciting .I'm near you will you suck me off .blah blah blah blah so boring .
Agree .. the should take a look at the noble art of seduction by kezia noble I wished I'd had a book like that when I was younger
The biggest organ is the brain a man needs to get into the women's brain and then the fun starts . "
Impossible  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have problem with flirting but since I've joined fab I don't believe that guys in real life mean their compliments seriously...simply because I see what men send me here just to have a quick shag |
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By *ineMan
over a year ago
In cave behind a waterfall on a hill |
"I don't have problem with flirting but since I've joined fab I don't believe that guys in real life mean their compliments seriously...simply because I see what men send me here just to have a quick shag "
Quick shag????
Wrong guys perhaps |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm glad some of you feel my pain
The situation - I've worked a couple of shifts with a guy at work, we don't see each other often (he does evening shifts on the bar, I tend to do breakfast shifts) which could work in our favour as that means we could keep things more private. We've talked on Facebook, he asked for my number so he could text me the rota. But do I ask him out for a drink? How? When? What?
Just ask him, don't be afraid of being direct with a guy... if you're too subtle, men tend to err on the side of caution in case we've misunderstood."
In that case, I'm basically going to tell him I'm interested but I want to take it slowly |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
"I'm glad some of you feel my pain
The situation - I've worked a couple of shifts with a guy at work, we don't see each other often (he does evening shifts on the bar, I tend to do breakfast shifts) which could work in our favour as that means we could keep things more private. We've talked on Facebook, he asked for my number so he could text me the rota. But do I ask him out for a drink? How? When? What? "
It's probably an excuse to get your number. Give it to him, and just do general chitty chatting and take it from there.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have problem with flirting but since I've joined fab I don't believe that guys in real life mean their compliments seriously...simply because I see what men send me here just to have a quick shag "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have problem with flirting but since I've joined fab I don't believe that guys in real life mean their compliments seriously...simply because I see what men send me here just to have a quick shag
Quick shag????
Wrong guys perhaps "
I found a gem(thanks to forums) so yeah the exception proves the rule |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find i am an outrageous flirt on fab. Like kinda aggressively so at times
If I dont reign it in a bit in the real world im probably gonna get arrested |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, I'm not kidding. "
This is a sad state of affairs of how the internet can have a negative impact on people skills. One has to be mindful to be smarter these days to keep people interactions real. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have problem with flirting but since I've joined fab I don't believe that guys in real life mean their compliments seriously...simply because I see what men send me here just to have a quick shag
Quick shag????
Wrong guys perhaps
I found a gem(thanks to forums) so yeah the exception proves the rule "
Oh you're too kind, you're making me blush  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find i am an outrageous flirt on fab. Like kinda aggressively so at times
If I dont reign it in a bit in the real world im probably gonna get arrested "
Ha, this is me also |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have problem with flirting but since I've joined fab I don't believe that guys in real life mean their compliments seriously...simply because I see what men send me here just to have a quick shag
Quick shag????
Wrong guys perhaps
I found a gem(thanks to forums) so yeah the exception proves the rule
Oh you're too kind, you're making me blush "
Yeah you are a gem too but I need a proof that you are not just after quick shag I should collect all of my 3 gems from fab and have a demonstration of how good they can work as a team |
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Not for me, Nothing better then going out and having to be confident to go up to a girl and flirt and chat.
I'm friends with a lot of younger lads through playing sport with them, dating apps have made it far to easy for them to pull they aren't good at approaching randoms in pubs and clubs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the problem with flirting on here is it's a bit like using a sledgehammer when sometimes a gentle poke will do, oh the innuendo (the poke not the sledgehammer you disgusting lot) |
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"No, if anything it's been useful practice
I have no idea what I'm doing "
I'm the same! I'm so used to declaring an interest/guys declaring an interest that I've completely forgotten how to flirt - or how to tell if a guy finds me attractive without him telling me directly!
I haven't had sex in the 'real world' since I joined fab well over 3 years ago!
If and when I try dating again I'm worried I'll be so direct that they'll run a mile!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not at all; if anything I'm struggling to communicate in the porn-fuelled Fab world and the intricacies of the balance between being sexually overt while sensual and choosy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, I'm not kidding. "
I can understand this happening. I think it has made me very cautious as most vanilla ladies would run a mile if they knew. Also, I love the sexy banter in clubs, but can't say most of the stuff to ladies in a vanilla environment. Most likely get a slap. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, if anything it's been useful practice
I have no idea what I'm doing
I'm the same! I'm so used to declaring an interest/guys declaring an interest that I've completely forgotten how to flirt - or how to tell if a guy finds me attractive without him telling me directly!
I haven't had sex in the 'real world' since I joined fab well over 3 years ago!
If and when I try dating again I'm worried I'll be so direct that they'll run a mile!! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If anything the club scene in swinging world has made me far more comfortable in the vanilla world. I relax more on vanilla nights out because I no longer "go out on the pull". |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I would actually say I am actually less assertive in the real world than in fan or club world
The reason is that on the last vanilla night out the lads were going up to girls hugging them touching them and in my head i was like ffs you haven't asked to touch
Don't get me wrong I can talk to women, I just can't flirt. Charming yes talking yes anything more I freeze lol
Also i am still not comfy with someone saying they have taken a s_ine to me. |
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Women;
hi Sam flick of the hair, fluttering eyelashes, sexy voice, pouting and putting a finger between her lips, cleavage on show,
Me; omg fuck, be calm don't fuck it up it's your big moment and Stutters "do you like toast" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never been any use at flirting and I'm still utterly rubbish at it. I fall back on charming people with my quirkiness. "
Well that's kind of flirting albeit not direct, but I'm thinking you don't need it to get attention.I may be wrong... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think most men in the vanilla word haven't a clue with the art of seduction .
And on here I'm sick of hi what you upto or done anything exciting .I'm near you will you suck me off .blah blah blah blah so boring . "
If I find a woman attractive in the vanilla world I'm a bit of a flirt, even if I know nothing will happen. I just like chatting with pretty ladies. Making conversation face to face is so much easier than on the internet, plus body language to gauge their reaction is invaluable. On here, I can't talk/flirt because it's so impersonal and women don't engage.....well not with me. I would like to think it's the whole being guarded thing but I might just be an arse.. |
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