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Replying to messages
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By *raft OP Man
over a year ago
Bristol |
Hi all, this is my first forum post so go easy and it's not a personal attack on anyone just a thought from my experiences, and would love to hear what other people think.
So, singles guys get a lot of stick, and 90% of he time rightly so, some seriously rancid people on FAB unfortunately.
However, there are genuine single guys on here who have manners, who seem to struggle arranging meets for one reason or another. One of the most frustrating this I've found in my experience is when, after reading a profile, usually complaining about single pushy, desperate, rude men, you send a genuine, polite message for a chat, they read it, don't respond but don't delete either?! Feels a little like you're on a 'maybe meet this guy unless I get a better offer list'!
So I wondered if people agreed that if you receive a genuine message, whether you are interested or not, we should all at the very least delete the message so they know where they stand or better yet, a no thank you/yes please response. Otherwise it just seems like all the people complaining, are just as bad as the people they complain about!
Or am I just expecting too much from the everage memeber?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are dozens of threads about this very subject. General consensus is to not worry about your sent items box. If you get a reply, it's a bonus.
Nobody is obliged to reply to you, it's not in the rules. Simply take it as they're not interested in meeting.
Most don't reply because it usually invites a conversation along the lines of 'but why not?' Or similar. |
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By *raft OP Man
over a year ago
Bristol |
"Hopefully someone that does that will respond to your message. Personally, I don't see the point in reading a message an keeping it, unless you plan on replying within the next few hours. "
Yeah this is my point, I have no issues if they aren't interested, it's the state of limbo you're in when it's been read for a few days, but not replied too or deleted? I'm never sure if sending another message is then seen as pushy! |
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By *raft OP Man
over a year ago
Bristol |
"There are dozens of threads about this very subject. General consensus is to not worry about your sent items box. If you get a reply, it's a bonus.
Nobody is obliged to reply to you, it's not in the rules. Simply take it as they're not interested in meeting.
Most don't reply because it usually invites a conversation along the lines of 'but why not?' Or similar. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The best thing to do is when you send a message...delete it from your sent messages.
That way if you get a reply great. .and it also stops the weird feckers playing mind games  |
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By *raft OP Man
over a year ago
Bristol |
"There are dozens of threads about this very subject. General consensus is to not worry about your sent items box. If you get a reply, it's a bonus.
Nobody is obliged to reply to you, it's not in the rules. Simply take it as they're not interested in meeting.
Most don't reply because it usually invites a conversation along the lines of 'but why not?' Or similar. "
Apologies, id not seen the previous threads |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Hopefully someone that does that will respond to your message. Personally, I don't see the point in reading a message an keeping it, unless you plan on replying within the next few hours.
Yeah this is my point, I have no issues if they aren't interested, it's the state of limbo you're in when it's been read for a few days, but not replied too or deleted? I'm never sure if sending another message is then seen as pushy! "
Simple answer is just delete the sent messages, then you won't have to see them. |
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By *raft OP Man
over a year ago
Bristol |
"
Or am I just expecting too much from the everage memeber??
Hehe! Average member made me chuckle in a Beavis and Butthead kinda manner...  "
Haha wish I could claim the pun was intentional |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are dozens of threads about this very subject. General consensus is to not worry about your sent items box. If you get a reply, it's a bonus.
Nobody is obliged to reply to you, it's not in the rules. Simply take it as they're not interested in meeting.
Most don't reply because it usually invites a conversation along the lines of 'but why not?' Or similar.
Apologies, id not seen the previous threads"
Don't worry about it mate...there's loads for duplicate threads on here and a lot will have been done by the ones moaning about them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If your a single male and you want to talk to people, post on the forum. You want to play sex lottery keep sending your well constructed personalised spell checked well mannered pm's.
Op. It's not you, it's just how things are here apparently. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a single guy I know exactly where your comming from. Like you I'm always polite & friendly in my messages. Couples & single women in particular will get 100's of messages from the likes if you & me. You just need to stick at it & eventually someone will give you a go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It does seem the odds are stacked against us... every other profile seems to have "no single guys" checked.
Same advice as above though, deleted or not, if they've not replied then they're not interested.
Just glad I'm Bi... at least the fellas are forthcoming |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Hopefully someone that does that will respond to your message. Personally, I don't see the point in reading a message an keeping it, unless you plan on replying within the next few hours.
Yeah this is my point, I have no issues if they aren't interested, it's the state of limbo you're in when it's been read for a few days, but not replied too or deleted? I'm never sure if sending another message is then seen as pushy! "
If it's left a few days, that's normally a not interested. Imo, sending another message is pushy. Keep sending your messages, someone will respond, you have a good profile and good luck.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always try to reply politely to messages, even to the blokes who offer oral repeatedly -even though I've said it's "straight fun only" for me. Then there's always the delete / block button if they become a nuisance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well everybody reads into the whole deleted message thing too much.
I sent a lady a message, it was normal, nothing dirty, just a nice well written message. It got read and deleted. So I just moved on.
Anyway two weeks later the lady in question messaged me and now we are probably meeting.
I asked about the original one I had sent and she didn't even remember it or even remembered seeing it.
She had 220 unread in her inbox...
So I am not sure what the moral is here other than chill and make a nice profile for yourself be nice and you'll be found... Eventually lol |
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I don't agree op - people are unique in their needs, circumstances and personalities - so the current standard site guidelines are fit to follow -
No response means no current interest in you.
As this site is generally used by people who don't want commitments with other users, once anyone has sent an introductory message, they should put their interests aside and be focusing on other things and people. If recipients knew you would expect some interim interest returned or blocked and deleted etc, they probably would prefer that you didn't contact them: You're giving them uninvited stress/pressure.
Contact many people and leave others to manage things their way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi all, this is my first forum post so go easy and it's not a personal attack on anyone just a thought from my experiences, and would love to hear what other people think.
So, singles guys get a lot of stick, and 90% of he time rightly so, some seriously rancid people on FAB unfortunately.
However, there are genuine single guys on here who have manners, who seem to struggle arranging meets for one reason or another. One of the most frustrating this I've found in my experience is when, after reading a profile, usually complaining about single pushy, desperate, rude men, you send a genuine, polite message for a chat, they read it, don't respond but don't delete either?! Feels a little like you're on a 'maybe meet this guy unless I get a better offer list'!
So I wondered if people agreed that if you receive a genuine message, whether you are interested or not, we should all at the very least delete the message so they know where they stand or better yet, a no thank you/yes please response. Otherwise it just seems like all the people complaining, are just as bad as the people they complain about!
Or am I just expecting too much from the everage memeber??"
If they don't reply to you, it's their loss. I delete and don't reply to most messages because they are unimaginative , predictable or I'm not interested.
Don't take it personally. |
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