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A matter of etiquette...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi again people
I have a dilemma, that I could use both a male and a female perspective on. Don't know how to proceed.
Okay, I've exchanged a couple messages with a lady. We both seemed to like the other. And now I've sent a message, but they haven't replied dispite being online, posting to the forums, and doing other things. I know ladies get infinitely more messages than guys, but if you become a fri @aashoshih3. still nothing.
So do I wait, and for how long? Or do I cut my loss and move on...
Cheers
P
Xx
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Lol... "fri @aashoshih3" that crept in there, how funny. Suppose to be to the effect that women get more messages, but if I become a friend, surely that would mean that you would pay more attention to those messages... Thanks for the heads up  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Move on OP, some people are ignorant. If you happen to hear from them in the future, happy days  "
I know you are right, and I'm sure other guys will back me up with this, when you only get a few replies, if you get something like this it's frustrating..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm guilty of this. Sometimes im online but I'm on forums or chat. I leave messages unread for days sometimes. Its not that I won't read them I'm just not in the mood to do so at that time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi again people
I have a dilemma, that I could use both a male and a female perspective on. Don't know how to proceed.
Okay, I've exchanged a couple messages with a lady. We both seemed to like the other. And now I've sent a message, but they haven't replied dispite being online, posting to the forums, and doing other things. I know ladies get infinitely more messages than guys, but if you become a fri @aashoshih3. still nothing.
So do I wait, and for how long? Or do I cut my loss and move on...
Cheers
P
Xx
"
Do you message her as soon as you see she's online? If you do, take a step back.
If she hasn't blocked you, then just chill. Sometimes I come on to read the forums, and I'm not in the mood for PM's even with people I speak regularly too.
Just relax about it all  |
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"If she uses the Forums consider putting up a post about it. She'll be dripping "
Most people aren't on here for exclusivity. We find we get guys message regular. That's okay and they are potentially good meets for the future. But sometimes there may be 5-10 guys trying to message at the same time. It's hard to keep up. And besides, mostly I'm online in enjoying forums. People use the site as they see fit and it's not ignorant  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
As others have said OP I wouldn't sweat it as people don't always reply immediately, for any number of reasons.
Out of interest how long ago did you send your last message? If it was a few hours then I'd say you're sounding desperate, if a few days then can understand you wondering (especially if there'd been a natural flow previously) but still wouldn't sweat it as above, if a few weeks then I'd say she's maybe lost interest but again real life may have got in the way etc.
May also depend on the length of the messages you've exchanged - if they've been lengthy then perhaps she's waiting to find time to send a lengthy reply.
Either way though it's not worth sweating over if she replies great if she doesn't then c'est la vie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm guilty of this. Sometimes im online but I'm on forums or chat. I leave messages unread for days sometimes. Its not that I won't read them I'm just not in the mood to do so at that time."
I can be the same |
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Hi,
Understand your frustrations but in truth we all have lives/issues to deal with outside the site. I have experienced the same but best to just take it on the chin, at least it wasn't deleted without being read!! Ladies/Couples get inundated with messages, patience is a virtue. Hearing from ladies on this thread and their thoughts and reasons has given me much more understanding....genuinely! |
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I'm always showing online, even when I'm not!
I use 3 devices somedays so often forgot to log out on one.
As for reading/replying to messages, occasionally I don't, as I know I havn't got time to write a decent response, or get into a conversation, doesn't mean I'm ignoring someone, just a bit busy.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi again people
I have a dilemma, that I could use both a male and a female perspective on. Don't know how to proceed.
Okay, I've exchanged a couple messages with a lady. We both seemed to like the other. And now I've sent a message, but they haven't replied dispite being online, posting to the forums, and doing other things. I know ladies get infinitely more messages than guys, but if you become a fri @aashoshih3. still nothing.
So do I wait, and for how long? Or do I cut my loss and move on...
Cheers
P
Xx
"
No doubt this thread is going to help many singles (men/women) and couples because we all go through this. Thank you for sharing OP. My answer will be aimed at you, but also going to throw in extras for others.
Here is what I think:
Don't "cut your losses and move on" as you put it...
Only move on/disconnect if you feel there is no real connection/substance developing. This also depends on the context of your conversations. If it's platonic friendship or more. Even if you think you both seemed to like each other that may not be accurate... when/if you do get reply best to put that in your next message to identify what her view is.
Communication is key from both sides.
There is no time limit when you say "do you wait" if you have not been blocked then things can pick up or slow down anytime for various reasons.
Don't expect replies just because she is online. We can all have more then one friend. Forums can be time consuming/addictive. Even if you're connected as friends don't expect replies.
Focus on the things that are in your control. You have sent her a message. Now it is upto her to reply.
My messages go unread/deleted midway through conversations. This is mostly from friends who I know for years on here! Sometimes people can have different moods, personal things going on etc.
In other words:
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Phew!
Hope that helps. Now I need to figure out why my bloody spreadsheets are not giving me the results I need. Time to work  |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
Sometimes I will read and forget to reply as I have read it whilst I am at work or during the night if I have got up to go to the loo.....
sometimes I will mark as unread even though I have read it, maybe because I am thinking of response |
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"Hi again people
I have a dilemma, that I could use both a male and a female perspective on. Don't know how to proceed.
Okay, I've exchanged a couple messages with a lady. We both seemed to like the other. And now I've sent a message, but they haven't replied dispite being online, posting to the forums, and doing other things. I know ladies get infinitely more messages than guys, but if you become a fri @aashoshih3. still nothing.
So do I wait, and for how long? Or do I cut my loss and move on...
Cheers
P
Xx
No doubt this thread is going to help many singles (men/women) and couples because we all go through this. Thank you for sharing OP. My answer will be aimed at you, but also going to throw in extras for others.
Here is what I think:
Don't "cut your losses and move on" as you put it...
Only move on/disconnect if you feel there is no real connection/substance developing. This also depends on the context of your conversations. If it's platonic friendship or more. Even if you think you both seemed to like each other that may not be accurate... when/if you do get reply best to put that in your next message to identify what her view is.
Communication is key from both sides.
There is no time limit when you say "do you wait" if you have not been blocked then things can pick up or slow down anytime for various reasons.
Don't expect replies just because she is online. We can all have more then one friend. Forums can be time consuming/addictive. Even if you're connected as friends don't expect replies.
Focus on the things that are in your control. You have sent her a message. Now it is upto her to reply.
My messages go unread/deleted midway through conversations. This is mostly from friends who I know for years on here! Sometimes people can have different moods, personal things going on etc.
In other words:
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Phew!
Hope that helps. Now I need to figure out why my bloody spreadsheets are not giving me the results I need. Time to work "
So right |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi again people
I have a dilemma, that I could use both a male and a female perspective on. Don't know how to proceed.
Okay, I've exchanged a couple messages with a lady. We both seemed to like the other. And now I've sent a message, but they haven't replied dispite being online, posting to the forums, and doing other things. I know ladies get infinitely more messages than guys, but if you become a fri @aashoshih3. still nothing.
So do I wait, and for how long? Or do I cut my loss and move on...
Cheers
P
Xx
No doubt this thread is going to help many singles (men/women) and couples because we all go through this. Thank you for sharing OP. My answer will be aimed at you, but also going to throw in extras for others.
Here is what I think:
Don't "cut your losses and move on" as you put it...
Only move on/disconnect if you feel there is no real connection/substance developing. This also depends on the context of your conversations. If it's platonic friendship or more. Even if you think you both seemed to like each other that may not be accurate... when/if you do get reply best to put that in your next message to identify what her view is.
Communication is key from both sides.
There is no time limit when you say "do you wait" if you have not been blocked then things can pick up or slow down anytime for various reasons.
Don't expect replies just because she is online. We can all have more then one friend. Forums can be time consuming/addictive. Even if you're connected as friends don't expect replies.
Focus on the things that are in your control. You have sent her a message. Now it is upto her to reply.
My messages go unread/deleted midway through conversations. This is mostly from friends who I know for years on here! Sometimes people can have different moods, personal things going on etc.
In other words:
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Phew!
Hope that helps. Now I need to figure out why my bloody spreadsheets are not giving me the results I need. Time to work
So right "
I really should remember this  x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Wow, very enlightening. I have had a couple more replies and I think all positive as well. I imagine there is that old chestnut of how long do you wait till you call someone, but how long is a piece of string...
Patience is a virtue after all...
Thanks |
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OP,
You are so right..patience is a virtue...I think it all depends on your perspective...For me it was/is about meeting like minded people and the bonus is attraction and chemistry with NSA fun....and it happened. If it was for pure cold sex, I would still be in tumble city...For me socials are genuinely the way to go, you get verifications as people have seen you in the flesh and your picture isn't one taken 10 years ago etc etc. Lots of people play the bravado game and then when the messages get more thoughtful/sensual ..panic and don't reply or not for a while. |
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