FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why are you friends?
Why are you friends?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok so you might think what a dumb question- but I was asked this today and found it interesting trying to explain why I wanted to be that person's friend.
Can you explain why you have your friends? You might have some that you go out with, so the 'reason' could be the nights out.
What about friends you just chat online to - why are you friends with them? What do you get out of that friendship? |
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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
i'm not sure but i like hearing from my friends, sometimes if they're sad then so am i but i enjoy that. and i like how they're not using me and care about me too.
i'm highly independent and don't feel a need to have friends so don't have that many as most people piss me off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't tend to have friends, I'm a crap friend tbh. Barely go out because I can never be arsed, rarely message because I forget. Can never be arsed to arrange anything because it's one day less away from my dog.
My dog is my friend... He's si undemanding and never gets up the arse with me.
I just find people get on me tuts. I prefer pets lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have many real friends now. I lost most when I got married. I'm friends with one person because we used to go out together-she was my childrens' dance teacher. Other people are acquaintances. |
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My lifelong best girls friends are the most awesome women in the world and I just love them to bits. The fact we have been such close friends for so long make me feel loved too 
My best guy friend is wonderful, funny, intelligent and sorts stuff out for me at times.
My Fab friends are a mixture of casual chums to a couple of true friends and that makes me feel appreciated too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only have a small number of true friends, who I know will be there if ever I need them and it goes without emsaying that they can also count on me when need be.
That said we are friends because we have a number of things in common, enjoy having a laugh and taking the Mick out of eachother
I have a few online friend here too which I chat with and have a great giggle with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't tend to have friends, I'm a crap friend tbh. Barely go out because I can never be arsed, rarely message because I forget. Can never be arsed to arrange anything because it's one day less away from my dog.
My dog is my friend... He's si undemanding and never gets up the arse with me.
I just find people get on me tuts. I prefer pets lol."
Porn, photography, dogs, guns? Sounds like a friend CV.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i'm not sure but i like hearing from my friends, sometimes if they're sad then so am i but i enjoy that. and i like how they're not using me and care about me too.
i'm highly independent and don't feel a need to have friends so don't have that many as most people piss me off."
What would be the definition of being used in a friendship?
One person always being the one to ask for help and the other always giving advice? What if one person likes feeling useful and likes being asked for advice?
I'm starting to think I'd figure this out better if I was pissed.  |
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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"i'm not sure but i like hearing from my friends, sometimes if they're sad then so am i but i enjoy that. and i like how they're not using me and care about me too.
i'm highly independent and don't feel a need to have friends so don't have that many as most people piss me off.
What would be the definition of being used in a friendship?
One person always being the one to ask for help and the other always giving advice? What if one person likes feeling useful and likes being asked for advice?
I'm starting to think I'd figure this out better if I was pissed. "
if a friend only wanted you when they needed something but didn't care when you need something, that'd be being used i think.
but i suppose if both friends was happy with it being that way then they wouldn't feel used. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My lifelong best girls friends are the most awesome women in the world and I just love them to bits. The fact we have been such close friends for so long make me feel loved too
My best guy friend is wonderful, funny, intelligent and sorts stuff out for me at times.
My Fab friends are a mixture of casual chums to a couple of true friends and that makes me feel appreciated too "
Your last example- why do you feel appreciated? Can you explain what it is that keeps your friendship alive? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My best girl friend we've been best friends since the day I started secondary school. We have been through so much together and lived together for a few years. My other girl friends we have our children and their disabilities in common. But I know they're always there for me and I'm there for them x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a few long term friends. Ranging from 19, 21 and even 35 yrs. Different reasons for each one.
Built up good friendships with people I've worked with. One of my friendships is only 2 yrs old but we got close when we became single. Never spoke at work. She's on here and I've taken her to a club, but we don't know each other's profiles. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have a few long term friends. Ranging from 19, 21 and even 35 yrs. Different reasons for each one.
Built up good friendships with people I've worked with. One of my friendships is only 2 yrs old but we got close when we became single. Never spoke at work. She's on here and I've taken her to a club, but we don't know each other's profiles. "
Different reasons for each friend.. so you might only chat over coffee to one friend and another you'd go for a day out?
Are 'friends at work' just people you talk to at work or do you see them in normal life too? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My friends are my friends for many different things they bring to the friendship eg one friend calls a spade a spade and when I need advice won't tell me what I want to hear but what I need to hear (even if sometimes it hurts) another one makes me forget all my problems when I'm around her. I guess they are my friends because they make me a better person and love me no matter how many times I mess up in life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a few long term friends. Ranging from 19, 21 and even 35 yrs. Different reasons for each one.
Built up good friendships with people I've worked with. One of my friendships is only 2 yrs old but we got close when we became single. Never spoke at work. She's on here and I've taken her to a club, but we don't know each other's profiles.
Different reasons for each friend.. so you might only chat over coffee to one friend and another you'd go for a day out?
Are 'friends at work' just people you talk to at work or do you see them in normal life too?"
Well, the 35yrs old my old babysitter, has babysat for me and we have lovely days out and weekends away. Always there in a dilemma.
19 yrs, met at an old place of work. Logistics mean we meet a few times a yr but been thru engagements, weddings, babies, house buying and my seperation. Truly admire and am proud of her achievements. She is of mine.
21 yrs. My best friend. Been thru too much and go on holidays, days out, gym, nights in. Always got my back when I'm batshit crazy.
Friendships thru work, people I hang out with for different reasons but no longer work with. For anything, bbqs, days out, lunch, nights out, festivals anything. Someone once said, married people get lonely too. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My friends are all males... either ex boyfriends or would be boyfriends if attraction had have been there.
We have good craic, get each other, feel able to confide in each other, have shared interests, support each other... its working while we're single but maybe as new partners appearer they'll not like their partner being friends with a woman! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have a few long term friends. Ranging from 19, 21 and even 35 yrs. Different reasons for each one.
Built up good friendships with people I've worked with. One of my friendships is only 2 yrs old but we got close when we became single. Never spoke at work. She's on here and I've taken her to a club, but we don't know each other's profiles.
Different reasons for each friend.. so you might only chat over coffee to one friend and another you'd go for a day out?
Are 'friends at work' just people you talk to at work or do you see them in normal life too?
Well, the 35yrs old my old babysitter, has babysat for me and we have lovely days out and weekends away. Always there in a dilemma.
19 yrs, met at an old place of work. Logistics mean we meet a few times a yr but been thru engagements, weddings, babies, house buying and my seperation. Truly admire and am proud of her achievements. She is of mine.
21 yrs. My best friend. Been thru too much and go on holidays, days out, gym, nights in. Always got my back when I'm batshit crazy.
Friendships thru work, people I hang out with for different reasons but no longer work with. For anything, bbqs, days out, lunch, nights out, festivals anything. Someone once said, married people get lonely too. X "
Different friends for different things. 
I like your last sentence. We have partners for some life aspects and friends for other aspects. x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My friends are all males... either ex boyfriends or would be boyfriends if attraction had have been there.
We have good craic, get each other, feel able to confide in each other, have shared interests, support each other... its working while we're single but maybe as new partners appearer they'll not like their partner being friends with a woman!"
Having a man friend is difficult when he gets a girlfriend.  It's a minefield. |
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"My Fab friends are a mixture of casual chums to a couple of true friends and that makes me feel appreciated too
Your last example- why do you feel appreciated? Can you explain what it is that keeps your friendship alive? "
I guess because if people, that I consider to be great, want to be my friend it makes me feel good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have one friend. I've had many culls of various friendships over the years
She's the voice of reason for me and I for her. We laugh a lot. She gets me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My 6 vanilla girlfriends mean everything to me. I can't imagine not having them for support, laughter, tears, fun and just being there for me and helping me with my difficult life.
My Fab friends I keep in touch with are to satisfy my sexual needs and also to have fun with socially.
I'm thankful for all my buddies |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
Although I can be serious when the need arises, most of the time I prefer to just be silly, and when I meet other people that are the same I naturally gravitate towards them. Over time I guess we become friends because of our mutual silliness |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don't think we're here for friends we have them but not to fulfill our needs x"
Do you mean here on this site?
What about real life friends, why are you friends with them? Isn't feeling wanted and appreciated a need? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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God some of the replies to this thread are depressing.
I make friends through common interests and mutual experience.
I maintain friendships through communication. I'm pretty passionate about keeping people who I like in my life, so it's not hard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have different friends for different things and I like having a wide group of people to call on.
I also seem to be an introduced... always seem to be friend matching or match making.
Close friends that I could ring in a crisis? I actually dont think i have any. Probably cos im self reliant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have shared interests and similar values. Our views aren't the same on everything but that makes life interesting when we are altogether. We've gone through good and bad times together which has cemented our friendships. And you know that if you rang them at 3am for something they'd be there for you and vice versa. |
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By *jr123Man
over a year ago
oldham |
"I don't have many real friends now. I lost most when I got married. I'm friends with one person because we used to go out together-she was my childrens' dance teacher. Other people are acquaintances. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have 3 great bff, I couldn't do without them. They keep me sane, we keep each other sane! Trust them so much, I couldn't even imagine my life without them! |
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"Ok so you might think what a dumb question- but I was asked this today and found it interesting trying to explain why I wanted to be that person's friend.
Can you explain why you have your friends? You might have some that you go out with, so the 'reason' could be the nights out.
What about friends you just chat online to - why are you friends with them? What do you get out of that friendship?"
I don't have online friends. People I talk to online I know. What I am finding though is social media is taking over from being social.
I spend more time chatting online than face to face...not good. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
If we're talking real life friends then they've become friends organically over the years - a few of mine are from school, others have become friends either through shared interests or because they've been friends of friends and a friendship has developed from there.
If we're talking about here then it's people I've chatted to for a period of time and got on with to the point that adding them as friends seems the natural thing to do. |
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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"
Do you consider people you chat to regularly but don't go out with (bars etc) as friends? Such as online friendships. Can they work?"
i think so.
i'm becoming slightly immobile at times so sometimes can't go out much, and so i think if friendship relied on person to person contact i'd be fucked tbh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Do you consider people you chat to regularly but don't go out with (bars etc) as friends? Such as online friendships. Can they work?"
Yes I do. I have one online friend, we talk about what's going on in our lives and can give each other unbiased advice and be an ear if one needs to vent ect... I find it easier to share worries with him because he's detached from my day to day life and we both know what we discuss goes no further. |
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