FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Bad time keepers...why
Bad time keepers...why
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I am one of life's early birds. I'd rather be an hour early than 10 mins later. For me it is about respecting other's time
I have a friend who is perpetually late to the point where I dont plan anything time specific with her as she won't be there. Her worst was 2 hours late to the local pub. I got a text one hour into the the wait saying she was just jumping in the shower 
What makes it more infuriating is you never get an apology as she knows you expect it from her.
So those of you who are bad time keepers... what happens? What's the thought process? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
I'm so with you on this OP and I'll be popping back in to see the excuses. I think it's a lack of respect when people are late, we are all busy people with lives and things to do. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'll admit my time keeping sucks. Especially in the mornings as I'll be lying in bed listening to the radio, thinking "Yeah, I can listen to a couple more songs and still leave myself enough time to get ready". It's like I still don't know how long it takes me to get ready to go out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Time just slips by.
I don't wear a watch as don't like the feel on my wrist.
I'm not intentionally late. "
How does that work with official things like work, medical appointments, exams. Do you miss things because of it? Has it ever got you into trouble?
I dont wear a watch. Never had. But most people have a phone these days. Portable time and alarms. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't like being late, even by a few minutes. That said we can all be late on occasion and I'd do my best to let someone know.
My own view of people who have form for always being late is that it's selfish and in some cases smacks of "I'm more important than you"
I'll get my tin hat on now |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm so with you on this OP and I'll be popping back in to see the excuses. I think it's a lack of respect when people are late, we are all busy people with lives and things to do. "
I really want to understand the mindset of being late. I am finding myself withdraw from my friend as I can no longer tolerate her bad behaviour. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sorry but I'm late for everything in life appart from work.just can't help myself."
But you must be able to if you aren't late for work. So you sometimes choose to be late? Genuine question. Not a dig |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think it's a mindset. Some folk are wired to hate being late whilst others don't think about time. I don't think it's their intention to be late and it doesn't cross their mind that being late matters and can't understand why you'd be upset. I've stopped getting irritated by it now and don't invite perpetual late arrivers out with me
Her |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Im like you OP an early bird. I know everyone can be late due to traffic etc but persistant poor time keeps realky take the piss. Usualky think their time is more important than yours. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Op I wouldn't wait two hours for anyone  "
I hadn't intended to but I bumped into someone I knew who invited me to join their company. Had that not happened Id have been out of there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Im like you OP an early bird. I know everyone can be late due to traffic etc but persistant poor time keeps realky take the piss. Usualky think their time is more important than yours."
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I wonder what perpetually late people do with regards to planes, trains, hospital appointments and so on. Or is it just their friends who have to wait around?"
That's my thoughts. U wait 3 weeks for a gp apt and turn up late... you are chased. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Time just slips by.
I don't wear a watch as don't like the feel on my wrist.
I'm not intentionally late.
How does that work with official things like work, medical appointments, exams. Do you miss things because of it? Has it ever got you into trouble?
I dont wear a watch. Never had. But most people have a phone these days. Portable time and alarms."
Don't get me wrong, i wouldn't keep someone waiting 2 hours but i have kept a meet waiting half an hour for me due to issues at home and not getting out of the house at the time i needed to, to meet him at the time agreed. I told him I was running late.
Never been later than a few minutes for an appointment and it's never every appointment.
Generally I usually run at 5 minutes late. With that kind of lateness an apology usually does thentrick.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sadly I am one of those people who is always late. I have great plans to be ready for something early but something always comes up. Between kids and looking after my mum i never seem to get anywhere on time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I learned somewhere that if you want to meet someone be ten minutes early. If your not to bothered be ten minutes late.
I live by that rule, and I judge the same. If I'm running late, I hate myself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I hate being late, and get stressed if things get in the way/go wrong & I am.
I'll always call or text if I'm going to be late.
One that really does annoy me though, if I am late, say stuck in traffic.
I won't touch my phone while I'm driving. So can't let people know |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
In all seriousness though I am often late for things. Not intentionally. I'm always on time (mostly) for official things like appointments and work etc and have to plan and organise around work and family and make sure that they are where they should be...I tend to be more relaxed about my non- work/official time. The people I mix with know this and are relaxed about it too. I couldn't stand having friends that got arsey with me about my time keeping for social things. I'm not always late and do try to get where I'm meant to be in time. ..but if it means turning up with crap hair then I'd rather be late. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I'm usually a few minutes late for anything that's not work related or docs appointments etc. Anything over 20 mins late for social stuff is annoying but 2 hours is taking the piss, I'd be long gone!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm so with you on this OP and I'll be popping back in to see the excuses. I think it's a lack of respect when people are late, we are all busy people with lives and things to do. "
I agree with you, it drives me mad. You're basically saying my time is less important than yours. If you're always late how about starting to get ready that much earlier? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm never late.
A friend of mine is continuously 15 minutes late for everything.
I always tell tell them that an appointment is 15 minutes earlier than reality.
I turn up at the real time and they're ready on time - apologising for being late.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some people are more "Swiss/German" in their routines while others take a more "Caribbean" attitude to life......
Life would be dull if everyone was the same....
the only truly important time to care about is wine o'clock!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
What is clear from the answers here is when it is official things most late folks will be on time.
They respect that the official world does not rotate around them.
But when it comes to friends they expect them to accommodate this behaviour.
So let me put this to those who are eternally socially late. You are desperate to see a once in a lifetime play/gig/film etc and you and a friend buy tickets and your friend is late and you miss it - doors close too late. How would you feel?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What is clear from the answers here is when it is official things most late folks will be on time.
They respect that the official world does not rotate around them.
But when it comes to friends they expect them to accommodate this behaviour.
So let me put this to those who are eternally socially late. You are desperate to see a once in a lifetime play/gig/film etc and you and a friend buy tickets and your friend is late and you miss it - doors close too late. How would you feel?
"
I'd go in without them if they weren't there at the time it was due to start.
I don't expect others to revolve their life around my timekeeping just as i wouldn't around theirs. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What is clear from the answers here is when it is official things most late folks will be on time.
They respect that the official world does not rotate around them.
But when it comes to friends they expect them to accommodate this behaviour.
So let me put this to those who are eternally socially late. You are desperate to see a once in a lifetime play/gig/film etc and you and a friend buy tickets and your friend is late and you miss it - doors close too late. How would you feel?
I'd go in without them if they weren't there at the time it was due to start.
I don't expect others to revolve their life around my timekeeping just as i wouldn't around theirs."
Yep this exactly. I don't expect anything from my friends. And if I was going to be late for something like that then I know they wouldn't wait. That's totally fine. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think even the most punctual and conscientious can sometimes be late due to circumstances but there is no excuse for being persistently late, it's just plain rude and inconsiderate. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If its a business thing and they are 5 minutes late I just walk out and cancel the meeting.
They soon get the message thst another's time is as valuable as their own.
If it's fab or friends well they're alwsys worth waiting for...
Unless it's a no show... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If its a business thing and they are 5 minutes late I just walk out and cancel the meeting.
They soon get the message thst another's time is as valuable as their own.
If it's fab or friends well they're alwsys worth waiting for...
Unless it's a no show..."
Yeah but do caves have postcodes?...that could be a hindrance |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If its a business thing and they are 5 minutes late I just walk out and cancel the meeting.
They soon get the message thst another's time is as valuable as their own.
If it's fab or friends well they're alwsys worth waiting for...
Unless it's a no show..."
Ahhh but then how long do u wait to find out its a no show  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I don't expect others to revolve their life around my timekeeping just as i wouldn't around theirs.
Yep this exactly. I don't expect anything from my friends. And if I was going to be late for something like that then I know they wouldn't wait. That's totally fine. "
And if they did that to you it equally would be fine if you got there and they had gone without you?
Same friend has fallen out with another friend who did just that at the recent high profile gig.
Non late friend didn't get the bus to wait for her and she missed the concert because of it. When it was pointed out that it was her responsibility to be there on time she got exceptionally huffy and demanded that they have their ticket money refunded (as non late friend had both tickets).
I must admit I did laugh when I heard about it. Maybe that's her lesson learnt |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I don't expect others to revolve their life around my timekeeping just as i wouldn't around theirs.
Yep this exactly. I don't expect anything from my friends. And if I was going to be late for something like that then I know they wouldn't wait. That's totally fine.
And if they did that to you it equally would be fine if you got there and they had gone without you?
Same friend has fallen out with another friend who did just that at the recent high profile gig.
Non late friend didn't get the bus to wait for her and she missed the concert because of it. When it was pointed out that it was her responsibility to be there on time she got exceptionally huffy and demanded that they have their ticket money refunded (as non late friend had both tickets).
I must admit I did laugh when I heard about it. Maybe that's her lesson learnt "
yes. It works both ways.
She sounds like a dick to be honest. Not all people who are late are dicks and expect the world to revolve around them. We know we are shitty time keepers. So do others. Either work round it or don't be friends. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder what perpetually late people do with regards to planes, trains, hospital appointments and so on. Or is it just their friends who have to wait around?"
I tend to turn up for flights and pre-booked trains incredibly early. I am incredibly disorganised an have a huge capacity to prpcrastinate which coupled with anxiety amd in particular social anxiety isn't great for punctuality.
I don't like being late but habitually am. I'd like to change it but the root causes are far more complex. I hate the way I procrastinate but have yet to work out what drives me to it or how to change it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I always tell my clients that I come around xish so the front get anxious or anything. I tend to be late for a lot of things at work as there is always something else to do, or they catch you on the phone or traffic or something. if I have something planned in the evening I might be on time but in the morning- no chance...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
There is a difference between a careless disregard for other peoples time and those who have work, family or health commitments. And that includes those who have social anxiety who struggle with transport or have to psych themselves to leave the safety of their home. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don't intentionally be late on purpose I just always im.but I'm always at work 30 mins before I start"
You make it sound like you are not a sentient being, aware that you are alive and in any process of doing anything - as if things just happen to you.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If its a business thing and they are 5 minutes late I just walk out and cancel the meeting.
They soon get the message thst another's time is as valuable as their own.
If it's fab or friends well they're alwsys worth waiting for...
Unless it's a no show...
Yeah but do caves have postcodes?...that could be a hindrance "
I'm a much travelled trogladyte |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My time keeping sucks.. I'm easily distracted. I've tended to have jobs where I can work from home or for myself where I can
I can even leave early. Then because im waiting at the other end .. I'm late as I've lost track of the time.
It's not disrespectful.. It's just who I am. It's like some people are naturally tidy and others not. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm curious OP, if you're invited to someone's house at a specific time, do you turn up at the time stipulated or do you turn up early?"
How long do I have to wait until my question is answered?   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There is a difference between a careless disregard for other peoples time and those who have work, family or health commitments. And that includes those who have social anxiety who struggle with transport or have to psych themselves to leave the safety of their home."
I agree with this. If a friend was constantly late like half an hour or more I'd want a good excuse or I wouldn't arrange things with them anymore.
I have a friend who constantly has to cancel arrangements to meet up. I used to get really pissed off. But now I understand the reasons behind it I'm still pissed off when it happens but know it's not deliberate and we're still friends. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm curious OP, if you're invited to someone's house at a specific time, do you turn up at the time stipulated or do you turn up early?"
No if I turn up early ill sit in the car or drive round the block and get to the door on time. If I have been invited to be there are a time chosen by the host its rude not to be there on time. Unless they say "Any time after blah blah" or they say "between blah and blah"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My time keeping sucks.. I'm easily distracted. I've tended to have jobs where I can work from home or for myself where I can
I can even leave early. Then because im waiting at the other end .. I'm late as I've lost track of the time.
It's not disrespectful.. It's just who I am. It's like some people are naturally tidy and others not. X"
If it is who u are that must carry through into important things too. If it doesn't then is it really who you are.
Or is it a bad habit? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My time keeping sucks.. I'm easily distracted. I've tended to have jobs where I can work from home or for myself where I can
I can even leave early. Then because im waiting at the other end .. I'm late as I've lost track of the time.
It's not disrespectful.. It's just who I am. It's like some people are naturally tidy and others not. X
If it is who u are that must carry through into important things too. If it doesn't then is it really who you are.
Or is it a bad habit? "
No. There are things that are potentially life changing that we try so exceptionally hard for. We choose not to stress ourselves out so much over social things. If it isn't your nature then you won't understand. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My time keeping sucks.. I'm easily distracted. I've tended to have jobs where I can work from home or for myself where I can
I can even leave early. Then because im waiting at the other end .. I'm late as I've lost track of the time.
It's not disrespectful.. It's just who I am. It's like some people are naturally tidy and others not. X
If it is who u are that must carry through into important things too. If it doesn't then is it really who you are.
Or is it a bad habit? "
Could you force yourself to not worry about time keeping? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I am one of life's early birds. I'd rather be an hour early than 10 mins later. For me it is about respecting other's time
I have a friend who is perpetually late to the point where I dont plan anything time specific with her as she won't be there. Her worst was 2 hours late to the local pub. I got a text one hour into the the wait saying she was just jumping in the shower
What makes it more infuriating is you never get an apology as she knows you expect it from her.
So those of you who are bad time keepers... what happens? What's the thought process? "
She does it because you let her get away with it by waiting for her.
If it bothers you that much either speak to her, leave at the time you arranged to meet if she isn't there or do the same to her and you turn up late. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rrol.BMan
over a year ago
Wrexham |
I think it boils down to whether you round up or down.
When I need to be somewhere and it is an 8 minute walk I would round up to 10 minutes and leave appropriately. This ensures I have a little flexibility but more often than not I'll arrive early.
Mrs. B would round down to 5, she'd leave, have no leeway should anything go awry, and also arrive late.
I have also wondered if it relates to how early you learnt to drive and whether you were at the mercy of public transport before that point.
Those that have had to commute by buses are more likely to be punctual than those that have always had a car?
One thing I know for certain is that if Mrs.B dies first she will arrive 10 minutes late for her own funeral. I think it'll be hilarious |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I am one of life's early birds. I'd rather be an hour early than 10 mins later. For me it is about respecting other's time
I have a friend who is perpetually late to the point where I dont plan anything time specific with her as she won't be there. Her worst was 2 hours late to the local pub. I got a text one hour into the the wait saying she was just jumping in the shower
What makes it more infuriating is you never get an apology as she knows you expect it from her.
So those of you who are bad time keepers... what happens? What's the thought process? "
I have a friend like that but now tell her at least an hour earlier than we meet and then she is only 20/30 minutes late. She thinks she has improved with her time keeping |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it boils down to whether you round up or down.
When I need to be somewhere and it is an 8 minute walk I would round up to 10 minutes and leave appropriately. This ensures I have a little flexibility but more often than not I'll arrive early.
Mrs. B would round down to 5, she'd leave, have no leeway should anything go awry, and also arrive late.
I have also wondered if it relates to how early you learnt to drive and whether you were at the mercy of public transport before that point.
Those that have had to commute by buses are more likely to be punctual than those that have always had a car?
One thing I know for certain is that if Mrs.B dies first she will arrive 10 minutes late for her own funeral. I think it'll be hilarious "
Or they've relied on too much public transport that's always fucking late. ..or they've lived in London and another will be along in 2 minutes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rrol.BMan
over a year ago
Wrexham |
"Or they've relied on too much public transport that's always fucking late. ..or they've lived in London and another will be along in 2 minutes. "
Ah, true. Up North Wales the buses run hourly so you have little choice in the matter.
They used to run half-hourly once. Heady days indeed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"I am one of life's early birds. I'd rather be an hour early than 10 mins later. For me it is about respecting other's time
I have a friend who is perpetually late to the point where I dont plan anything time specific with her as she won't be there. Her worst was 2 hours late to the local pub. I got a text one hour into the the wait saying she was just jumping in the shower
What makes it more infuriating is you never get an apology as she knows you expect it from her.
So those of you who are bad time keepers... what happens? What's the thought process? "
I had a friend who was like that felt it was her prerogative to arrive an hour or two late to everything. On works nights out we would just move on without her she used to get quite indignant but after chasing us around town a few times she stopped being late. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My time keeping sucks.. I'm easily distracted. I've tended to have jobs where I can work from home or for myself where I can
I can even leave early. Then because im waiting at the other end .. I'm late as I've lost track of the time.
It's not disrespectful.. It's just who I am. It's like some people are naturally tidy and others not. X
If it is who u are that must carry through into important things too. If it doesn't then is it really who you are.
Or is it a bad habit?
Could you force yourself to not worry about time keeping? "
Yes I could if there was a genuine reason behind the behaviour. But as there isn't... no. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Time is a human construct... It's how we micro manage each other and our human dynasty.
I don't like being late but sometimes I am and it makes me very flustered because I have no intention of disrespecting anyone.
Time's become of importance since the industrial era and the advent of capitalism... when all the serfs got shoved into cities and brainwashed into working for richer than them people instead if for themselves.
It's a baton to stress yourself out any everyone else... The only planet our time value is of relevance is Earth, it would have to change to reflect the same value system on every other planet in our solar system = time's relative and a ham construct.
Lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's because they don't give a fuck"
I wouldn't go that far but it seems there is an element of being self absorbed and putting their time ahead of others. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm so with you on this OP and I'll be popping back in to see the excuses. I think it's a lack of respect when people are late, we are all busy people with lives and things to do. "
Totally agree with this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My time keeping sucks.. I'm easily distracted. I've tended to have jobs where I can work from home or for myself where I can
I can even leave early. Then because im waiting at the other end .. I'm late as I've lost track of the time.
It's not disrespectful.. It's just who I am. It's like some people are naturally tidy and others not. X
If it is who u are that must carry through into important things too. If it doesn't then is it really who you are.
Or is it a bad habit?
Could you force yourself to not worry about time keeping?
Yes I could if there was a genuine reason behind the behaviour. But as there isn't... no. "
Right. I can force myself to please everyone else most of the time. Sometimes, when it isn't that important I don't. Shoot me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My time keeping sucks.. I'm easily distracted. I've tended to have jobs where I can work from home or for myself where I can
I can even leave early. Then because im waiting at the other end .. I'm late as I've lost track of the time.
It's not disrespectful.. It's just who I am. It's like some people are naturally tidy and others not. X
If it is who u are that must carry through into important things too. If it doesn't then is it really who you are.
Or is it a bad habit?
Could you force yourself to not worry about time keeping?
Yes I could if there was a genuine reason behind the behaviour. But as there isn't... no.
Right. I can force myself to please everyone else most of the time. Sometimes, when it isn't that important I don't. Shoot me. "
What if your friend felt it was important to meet up say for a coffee at 10am? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I dont think that any of those who have fessed to being perpetually late wish to acknowledge how their behaviour impacts on others.
I wonder how if this behaviour spill into other personality traits. Is it always self first everyone one else whenever? Its been an interesting thread. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I dont think that any of those who have fessed to being perpetually late wish to acknowledge how their behaviour impacts on others.
I wonder how if this behaviour spill into other personality traits. Is it always self first everyone one else whenever? Its been an interesting thread."
To deny how your behaviour impacts on others, as in having them waiting round for you to grace them with your presence on a regular basis, smacks of a massive lack of self awareness. Can't imagine tolerating that personally. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have to admit I'm late for everything!! I don't mean to be I think I'm just always optimistically unrealistic about how long it takes to get places. My job doesn't help as there's never enough hours in a day so it's always I'll just get this finished or I'm caught up in crisis which then puts my whole day out. My clients always put 'ish' next to the appointment time and expect me anytime around then
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I dont think that any of those who have fessed to being perpetually late wish to acknowledge how their behaviour impacts on others.
I wonder how if this behaviour spill into other personality traits. Is it always self first everyone one else whenever? Its been an interesting thread."
To be honest, I can't understand why your friend is your friend if she is the way she is. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
To be honest, I can't understand why your friend is your friend if she is the way she is."
To be honest, She has alienated quite a few people with her outburst about her missing that concert due to her lateness. There is another couple of ticketed events coming up in the next month and then there is no real reason to get back into any social situation with her.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
To be honest, I can't understand why your friend is your friend if she is the way she is.
To be honest, She has alienated quite a few people with her outburst about her missing that concert due to her lateness. There is another couple of ticketed events coming up in the next month and then there is no real reason to get back into any social situation with her.
"
Has she got a partner? Could there be a reason she is always late, like an abusive partner delaying her so that her friends abandon her? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Your friend doesn't seem to be a real friend to you imo. If you loved her you'd have a million and one reasons to remain her friend as you'd forgive her weak spot because of all the great moments and experiences you have with each other.
That's true friendship to me in any case... I don't think I've ever remarked on one of my mates time keeping as being the best thing I love about them?!... If it were an acquaintance or a work colleague, or even a client then obv that'd be a plus. Never have met anyone perfect in my life to date lol x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think it's a mindset. Some folk are wired to hate being late whilst others don't think about time. I don't think it's their intention to be late and it doesn't cross their mind that being late matters and can't understand why you'd be upset. I've stopped getting irritated by it now and don't invite perpetual late arrivers out with me
Her "
This sums it up for me. I don't like being late but sometimes it happens. I don't wear a watch and I can get so engrossed in work that I can lose track of time.
I realise that's a poor reason, but if I am late it's never intentional.
Having said all that, I would never be 2 hours late without a genuine reason. And if someone regularly kept me waiting way too long I'd either tell them how I felt about it and/or stop seeing them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Has she got a partner? Could there be a reason she is always late, like an abusive partner delaying her so that her friends abandon her? "
That is a very good point, I've had this happen to me in the past |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
my life runs on what we like to call in the trade "CPT"..... (the people who know will know that that means.... and they will laugh!)
mine is nowhere near as bad as the rest of the families though..... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Has she got a partner? Could there be a reason she is always late, like an abusive partner delaying her so that her friends abandon her? "
Nope no partner. No job that requires her to work late or run over. No physical or mental health problems that may make getting out difficult. No financial problems either that mean she is always late as she is having to scrounge up pennies. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Has she got a partner? Could there be a reason she is always late, like an abusive partner delaying her so that her friends abandon her?
Nope no partner. No job that requires her to work late or run over. No physical or mental health problems that may make getting out difficult. No financial problems either that mean she is always late as she is having to scrounge up pennies."
Just rude then  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Your friend doesn't seem to be a real friend to you imo. If you loved her you'd have a million and one reasons to remain her friend as you'd forgive her weak spot because of all the great moments and experiences you have with each other.
That's true friendship to me in any case... I don't think I've ever remarked on one of my mates time keeping as being the best thing I love about them?!... If it were an acquaintance or a work colleague, or even a client then obv that'd be a plus. Never have met anyone perfect in my life to date lol x"
I'm not suggesting I'm perfect and I am big enough to apologise if my behaviour in any way negatively impacts on friends or family. I value real friendship from people who value my friendship. And part of that is respect.
And no always being on time isnt the first thing u may list as a friend's strength but I bet you will list someone who is always there for you and never lets u down is there fairly highly commodity amongst ur friends.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I dont think that any of those who have fessed to being perpetually late wish to acknowledge how their behaviour impacts on others.
I wonder how if this behaviour spill into other personality traits. Is it always self first everyone one else whenever? Its been an interesting thread."
I acknowledge that it irritates some people. Those people won't arrange to meet me. I'm not friends with those people. I take full responsibility for that. I'm no means self first but I won't change my ways to suit those that won't tolerate the way I am. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"my life runs on what we like to call in the trade "CPT"..... (the people who know will know that that means.... and they will laugh!)
mine is nowhere near as bad as the rest of the families though..... "
I had to google that lol, learnt something new today! Lol x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"my life runs on what we like to call in the trade "CPT"..... (the people who know will know that that means.... and they will laugh!)
mine is nowhere near as bad as the rest of the families though..... "
this was always my exs excuse, I have never known anyone be so poor at timekeeping in my life! I'm always late for everything but he was something else!
Me, I'm just terrible at getting going so I underestimate how long it will take to get ready or I start faffing! I always outstay my welcome once I'm there to make up for it though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your friend doesn't seem to be a real friend to you imo. If you loved her you'd have a million and one reasons to remain her friend as you'd forgive her weak spot because of all the great moments and experiences you have with each other.
That's true friendship to me in any case... I don't think I've ever remarked on one of my mates time keeping as being the best thing I love about them?!... If it were an acquaintance or a work colleague, or even a client then obv that'd be a plus. Never have met anyone perfect in my life to date lol x
I'm not suggesting I'm perfect and I am big enough to apologise if my behaviour in any way negatively impacts on friends or family. I value real friendship from people who value my friendship. And part of that is respect.
And no always being on time isnt the first thing u may list as a friend's strength but I bet you will list someone who is always there for you and never lets u down is there fairly highly commodity amongst ur friends.
"
You see I don't have any expectations off anyone apart from myself... That way I don't get disappointed with any of my mates... Tho I am there for any of them if they need me... This is the reason why they forgive me for being late, which I always apologise for.
I guess I've been blessed with lovely friends to rub shoulders with who see I'm genuine and I care... I'm just not always on time unfortunately lol x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Has she got a partner? Could there be a reason she is always late, like an abusive partner delaying her so that her friends abandon her?
Nope no partner. No job that requires her to work late or run over. No physical or mental health problems that may make getting out difficult. No financial problems either that mean she is always late as she is having to scrounge up pennies."
That you know of. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aelawMan
over a year ago
Paisley |
"I am one of life's early birds. I'd rather be an hour early than 10 mins later. For me it is about respecting other's time
I have a friend who is perpetually late to the point where I dont plan anything time specific with her as she won't be there. Her worst was 2 hours late to the local pub. I got a text one hour into the the wait saying she was just jumping in the shower
What makes it more infuriating is you never get an apology as she knows you expect it from her.
So those of you who are bad time keepers... what happens? What's the thought process? "
I'm also one of the people that needs to get there early. I also do it out of respect and politeness. I don't think badly on those that are late though I might add! Procrastinating is certainly something I am familiar with! There are normally numerous reasons but I don't let it bother me I usually wait 10 mins after agreed time and send text to say I'll be somewhere else or something similar |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
She sounds demand avoidant. They leave everything to the last minute, they do a mad dash. It's aniexty based believe it or not. I have friends like her. I always tell them a time an hour early to what I want to meet. You've spotted the pattern in her behaviour, so work with it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I am one of life's early birds. I'd rather be an hour early than 10 mins later. For me it is about respecting other's time
I have a friend who is perpetually late to the point where I dont plan anything time specific with her as she won't be there. Her worst was 2 hours late to the local pub. I got a text one hour into the the wait saying she was just jumping in the shower
What makes it more infuriating is you never get an apology as she knows you expect it from her.
So those of you who are bad time keepers... what happens? What's the thought process? "
I'm far to busy enjoying life than to worry about minutes , if i arrange to meet someone ill meet them , never set a precise time though always an ish .
Other stuff always gets in the way wether it be i need shave a shower or a wank to , where the fuck is that (x) i was looking for , to some random nonsense on the radio/tv, or im already out doing other stuff & ill be there when im done .
Its not about disrespecting , its just about enjoying
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
To be honest, I can't understand why your friend is your friend if she is the way she is.
To be honest, She has alienated quite a few people with her outburst about her missing that concert due to her lateness. There is another couple of ticketed events coming up in the next month and then there is no real reason to get back into any social situation with her.
So don't fucking invite her and quit bitching. You aren't compatible as friends. End of  "
Why so personal? The OP has started an interesting thread. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Has she got a partner? Could there be a reason she is always late, like an abusive partner delaying her so that her friends abandon her?
Nope no partner. No job that requires her to work late or run over. No physical or mental health problems that may make getting out difficult. No financial problems either that mean she is always late as she is having to scrounge up pennies.
Just rude then "
That would be my conclusion I'm afraid. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We are never late for anything , it's a respect thing as we see it . So whatever it is , we will always be on time .
If a meet turns up late , we will have moved on and when they message to ask where we are , we say that as they couldn't be bothered to turn up on time , we can't be bothered to tell them where we are .
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are never late for anything , it's a respect thing as we see it . So whatever it is , we will always be on time .
If a meet turns up late , we will have moved on and when they message to ask where we are , we say that as they couldn't be bothered to turn up on time , we can't be bothered to tell them where we are .
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am one of life's early birds. I'd rather be an hour early than 10 mins later. For me it is about respecting other's time
I have a friend who is perpetually late to the point where I dont plan anything time specific with her as she won't be there. Her worst was 2 hours late to the local pub. I got a text one hour into the the wait saying she was just jumping in the shower
What makes it more infuriating is you never get an apology as she knows you expect it from her.
So those of you who are bad time keepers... what happens? What's the thought process? "
That's ridiculous! You hate time wasters but you have been entertaining her way of tardiness. Life is learnt by lessons. Be bold and take charge of what is acceptable to you. Two hours late in meeting you...just shouts a massive non verbal message to me... I'll leave that to you to figure out. Good luck OP. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We are never late for anything , it's a respect thing as we see it . So whatever it is , we will always be on time .
If a meet turns up late , we will have moved on and when they message to ask where we are , we say that as they couldn't be bothered to turn up on time , we can't be bothered to tell them where we are .
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ornCouple
over a year ago
Sedgemoor |
"I'm never late.
A friend of mine is continuously 15 minutes late for everything.
I always tell tell them that an appointment is 15 minutes earlier than reality.
I turn up at the real time and they're ready on time - apologising for being late.
"
15 minutes! I had a friend like that but we told her an hour earlier than expected. Even then she managed to be late sometimes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
To be honest, I can't understand why your friend is your friend if she is the way she is.
To be honest, She has alienated quite a few people with her outburst about her missing that concert due to her lateness. There is another couple of ticketed events coming up in the next month and then there is no real reason to get back into any social situation with her.
So don't fucking invite her and quit bitching. You aren't compatible as friends. End of "
Wow... obviously a touchy subject.
I started this post to see if i was missing something about those who are perpetually tardy. And a lot of good points have been raised. And im clearly not alone in my views of lateness and respect.
But your aggressive, abusive response and defensiveness shows that possibly there is a link between respect in time keeping and respect of others in general.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If I'm not 10 minutes early, I think I'm late. I turn up everywhere way ahead of time it's probably as bad a habit as being perpetually late......I wonder if my friends tell me a later time to arrive so that I don't turn up too early |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If I'm not 10 minutes early, I think I'm late. I turn up everywhere way ahead of time it's probably as bad a habit as being perpetually late......I wonder if my friends tell me a later time to arrive so that I don't turn up too early "
Hahahahah but if you are early u only inconvience yourself. Unless u are loitering about and looking suspicious! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I am always 5 minutes late for everything, it's terrible I know!
It's because I underestimate how long it's going to take me to get ready and get out of the house, I get distracted easily. I also don't give myself enough time for the journey.
I'm an optimist and think oh this will only take 5 mins, that'll only take 10 mins but the reality is things take a lot longer!
I also hate being early and waiting, I think there's more productive things I could be doing with my time.
It's just the way I am, disorganised, a million things to do and always late, I have tried to change but can't so I just roll with it and hope others don't hold it against me too much  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm late because it's in my personality, I'm just too laid back. Runs in the fathers side of the family, mother always says it's because we run on carribean time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am one of life's early birds. I'd rather be an hour early than 10 mins later. For me it is about respecting other's time
I have a friend who is perpetually late to the point where I dont plan anything time specific with her as she won't be there. Her worst was 2 hours late to the local pub. I got a text one hour into the the wait saying she was just jumping in the shower
What makes it more infuriating is you never get an apology as she knows you expect it from her.
So those of you who are bad time keepers... what happens? What's the thought process? "
2 hours though? With what sounds like a non excuse. That's fucking harsh!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am always 5 minutes late for everything, it's terrible I know!
It's because I underestimate how long it's going to take me to get ready and get out of the house, I get distracted easily. I also don't give myself enough time for the journey.
I'm an optimist and think oh this will only take 5 mins, that'll only take 10 mins but the reality is things take a lot longer!
I also hate being early and waiting, I think there's more productive things I could be doing with my time.
It's just the way I am, disorganised, a million things to do and always late, I have tried to change but can't so I just roll with it and hope others don't hold it against me too much "
at least you're honest, that's a virtue |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I hate being late and get stressed when I am
I am the same I prefer to be 30 mins early than 5 mins late
I have a few friends that think 6ish means 6.45 no it means 6.15 at latest
Yesterday I got agitated when train was 6 mins late - it would have been ok for my connecting train. It was just then I had to rush lunch and it pissed me off. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
An ex of mine was always late for everything.
It was infuriating watching him get ready for work in the morning.
He used to press snooze over and over again, then have a 30 min shower!
Then stand on the balcony smoking when he was already 30mins late!
It used to make blood pressure go through the roof of my head!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am one of life's early birds. I'd rather be an hour early than 10 mins later. For me it is about respecting other's time
I have a friend who is perpetually late to the point where I dont plan anything time specific with her as she won't be there. Her worst was 2 hours late to the local pub. I got a text one hour into the the wait saying she was just jumping in the shower
What makes it more infuriating is you never get an apology as she knows you expect it from her.
So those of you who are bad time keepers... what happens? What's the thought process? "
Friends never apologise to each other... Ru really her friend? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
