FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Need advice, mostly girls
Need advice, mostly girls
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have a gf and I want to break up with her but worry she won't find someone else or that she will be lonely forever lol. She is a really nice girl I've just fallen out of love with her.
She kind of treats me like shit, talks quite bad about my appearance and puts me down a lot she says it's just "banter" but it really gets to me sometimes. It's like she doesn't even like me just puts up with me for the cuddles and me just being there. She hardly goes out anymore and hardly sees her friends.
I don't know whether to break up with her because on good days we get on so well but they good days are rare.
What should I do? |
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By *aelawMan
over a year ago
Paisley |
"I have a gf and I want to break up with her but worry she won't find someone else or that she will be lonely forever lol. She is a really nice girl I've just fallen out of love with her.
She kind of treats me like shit, talks quite bad about my appearance and puts me down a lot she says it's just "banter" but it really gets to me sometimes. It's like she doesn't even like me just puts up with me for the cuddles and me just being there. She hardly goes out anymore and hardly sees her friends.
I don't know whether to break up with her because on good days we get on so well but they good days are rare. Waves
What should I do? "
Speak to her man, my ex was exactly the same with put downs. When I finally got the balls to talk to her about it I felt better. The marriage ended, but I felt better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Let her go and tell it to her face and be honest .Then no communicating with her .There is always someone out there and hopefully she will meet her match . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let her know you're on here, wanting to find someone to throw about the bedroom, then let her decide whether she wants to break up with you because of it."
 if she doesn't make you happy and you're already on here alone then split up with her  . Seems a bit pointless dragging it out and I'd be kind of offended if I find out my husband was only staying with me because he felt sorry for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let her know you're on here, wanting to find someone to throw about the bedroom, then let her decide whether she wants to break up with you because of it.
if she doesn't make you happy and you're already on here alone then split up with her . Seems a bit pointless dragging it out and I'd be kind of offended if I find out my husband was only staying with me because he felt sorry for me."
But he's such a gentleman even though he's on a swinging site behind her back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you're on Fab and she doesn't know, you're cheating and regardless of how mean you perceive she's being to you, what you're doing is far worse. Now if you are cheating, grow some balls and end the relationship because eventually the truth will come out anyway and it will be a total shit show for everyone concerned. If she does know about you being on Fab and you think you should end the relationship, still grow some balls and do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Talk to her!
Tell her how you feel and that you're wondering if you should even be together anymore.
She'll either agree and you split or she'll wake up and, hopefully, start trying again
Never worry she'll be alone without you. You only have to see the number of guys clamouring for a females attention on here to realise she won't be lonely for long if she doesn't want to be. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah I have spoken to her and she keeps convincing me to stay with her, I think it is only because I feel sorry for her. I don't like making people sad as I'm a people pleaser
I'm on here to kind of boost my confidence. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"He only using this to get views from females (hence the "mostly females") absolute plopper "
I wanted a woman's point of view because of insensitive fuck boys like you who's opinions are shite |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're on Fab and she doesn't know, you're cheating and regardless of how mean you perceive she's being to you, what you're doing is far worse. Now if you are cheating, grow some balls and end the relationship because eventually the truth will come out anyway and it will be a total shit show for everyone concerned. If she does know about you being on Fab and you think you should end the relationship, still grow some balls and do it."
I couldn't have put it better myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He only using this to get views from females (hence the "mostly females") absolute plopper
I wanted a woman's point of view because of insensitive fuck boys like you who's opinions are shite "
Haha says the cheating boy who is too pussy to act a man and show an ounce of honesty and care for someone you supposedly have had feelings for. You are a joke! |
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By *aelawMan
over a year ago
Paisley |
"He only using this to get views from females (hence the "mostly females") absolute plopper
I wanted a woman's point of view because of insensitive fuck boys like you who's opinions are shite
Haha says the cheating boy who is too pussy to act a man and show an ounce of honesty and care for someone you supposedly have had feelings for. You are a joke!"
Maybe not attack the chap. He is definitely going about things the wrong way and he knows that. For let it go TOO far though? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"He only using this to get views from females (hence the "mostly females") absolute plopper
I wanted a woman's point of view because of insensitive fuck boys like you who's opinions are shite
Haha says the cheating boy who is too pussy to act a man and show an ounce of honesty and care for someone you supposedly have had feelings for. You are a joke!"
Maybe that's why your single and on a swingers site, because you have no ounce of sensitivity and knowing of a situation, classic fuck boy. Bet your the type of guy who shags a lassie and just totally breaks contact. |
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"Let her know you're on here, wanting to find someone to throw about the bedroom, then let her decide whether she wants to break up with you because of it."
Nail on head. Show her your profile on here and the decision will likely make itself. |
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"I have a gf and I want to break up with her but worry she won't find someone else or that she will be lonely forever lol. She is a really nice girl I've just fallen out of love with her.
She kind of treats me like shit, talks quite bad about my appearance and puts me down a lot she says it's just "banter" but it really gets to me sometimes. It's like she doesn't even like me just puts up with me for the cuddles and me just being there. She hardly goes out anymore and hardly sees her friends.
I don't know whether to break up with her because on good days we get on so well but they good days are rare.
What should I do? "
Be a man and break up with with her so you can both move on, find somebody and be happy
Life's to dam short to spend it worrying about shit like this
She'll find someone if she wants to, the same as you will.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He only using this to get views from females (hence the "mostly females") absolute plopper
I wanted a woman's point of view because of insensitive fuck boys like you who's opinions are shite
Haha says the cheating boy who is too pussy to act a man and show an ounce of honesty and care for someone you supposedly have had feelings for. You are a joke!
Maybe that's why your single and on a swingers site, because you have no ounce of sensitivity and knowing of a situation, classic fuck boy. Bet your the type of guy who shags a lassie and just totally breaks contact. "
You are genuinely laughable. I'd rather be single on a site in which all intentions of a meet are laid out prior to it occurring than sneak around behind others back. I think the majority of men here like to fuck as swinging is a premise to enjoy such pleasures. If you really want an insight into the way I operate, I have verifications you can confer with if you so please. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"He only using this to get views from females (hence the "mostly females") absolute plopper
I wanted a woman's point of view because of insensitive fuck boys like you who's opinions are shite
Haha says the cheating boy who is too pussy to act a man and show an ounce of honesty and care for someone you supposedly have had feelings for. You are a joke!
Maybe that's why your single and on a swingers site, because you have no ounce of sensitivity and knowing of a situation, classic fuck boy. Bet your the type of guy who shags a lassie and just totally breaks contact.
You are genuinely laughable. I'd rather be single on a site in which all intentions of a meet are laid out prior to it occurring than sneak around behind others back. I think the majority of men here like to fuck as swinging is a premise to enjoy such pleasures. If you really want an insight into the way I operate, I have verifications you can confer with if you so please."
Yeah, and your comedy gold.
Id put cash-money down that if the OP were female, you'd be giving 'exactly' the same advice.
Got to love the way this place just eats its own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sigh. Ok children, play nice.
But really, your girlfriend sounds like a bitch. You're clearly not happy. Life is too short, and you are not responsible for having to worry about her future relationship status. If she stays single, maybe it'll force her to reassess herself, and the way she behaves.
Start looking after yourself, and end what sounds like a toxic relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"He only using this to get views from females (hence the "mostly females") absolute plopper
I wanted a woman's point of view because of insensitive fuck boys like you who's opinions are shite
Haha says the cheating boy who is too pussy to act a man and show an ounce of honesty and care for someone you supposedly have had feelings for. You are a joke!
Maybe that's why your single and on a swingers site, because you have no ounce of sensitivity and knowing of a situation, classic fuck boy. Bet your the type of guy who shags a lassie and just totally breaks contact.
You are genuinely laughable. I'd rather be single on a site in which all intentions of a meet are laid out prior to it occurring than sneak around behind others back. I think the majority of men here like to fuck as swinging is a premise to enjoy such pleasures. If you really want an insight into the way I operate, I have verifications you can confer with if you so please.
Yeah, and your comedy gold.
Id put cash-money down that if the OP were female, you'd be giving 'exactly' the same advice.
Got to love the way this place just eats its own. "
You obviously haven't seen me in the forums. I'm all about equal opportunity |
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By *aelawMan
over a year ago
Paisley |
"He only using this to get views from females (hence the "mostly females") absolute plopper
I wanted a woman's point of view because of insensitive fuck boys like you who's opinions are shite
Haha says the cheating boy who is too pussy to act a man and show an ounce of honesty and care for someone you supposedly have had feelings for. You are a joke!
Maybe that's why your single and on a swingers site, because you have no ounce of sensitivity and knowing of a situation, classic fuck boy. Bet your the type of guy who shags a lassie and just totally breaks contact.
You are genuinely laughable. I'd rather be single on a site in which all intentions of a meet are laid out prior to it occurring than sneak around behind others back. I think the majority of men here like to fuck as swinging is a premise to enjoy such pleasures. If you really want an insight into the way I operate, I have verifications you can confer with if you so please.
Yeah, and your comedy gold.
Id put cash-money down that if the OP were female, you'd be giving 'exactly' the same advice.
Got to love the way this place just eats its own. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're too convinced of your indispensability. I.E. That you cannot be replaced. You can! Once you let go of the fear of her finding someone better than you, you'll free yourself to move on without a threat to your ego. Also, she's more resilient than you think. Once you're gone she'll pick up her pieces and move on unless you are too weak to make a clean break. Healing often takes longer because we often need the ex to feel bad once we're gone to prove to ourselves that we we're hot stuff. That prevents us from sending a clear message and acting decisively. Just make your move and make it clear why... Then send her to me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Popcorn anyone? "
It's not that bad yet. But I ask the op if he wishes the title was not mostly, but 'only girls' advice.  .
Op, is this the advice you expected? Our opinions against your character rather than what we think you should do? |
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"Popcorn anyone?
It's not that bad yet. But I ask the op if he wishes the title was not mostly, but 'only girls' advice. .
Op, is this the advice you expected? Our opinions against your character rather than what we think you should do? "
I don't think the title would make a difference to who gave advice. But I do believe accusing men of being less sensitive on the matter is pretty ironic when he says his gf is insensitive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a gf and I want to break up with her but worry she won't find someone else or that she will be lonely forever lol. She is a really nice girl I've just fallen out of love with her.
She kind of treats me like shit, talks quite bad about my appearance and puts me down a lot she says it's just "banter" but it really gets to me sometimes. It's like she doesn't even like me just puts up with me for the cuddles and me just being there. She hardly goes out anymore and hardly sees her friends.
I don't know whether to break up with her because on good days we get on so well but they good days are rare.
What should I do? "
Man up and tell her its over
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I wanted people's opinion and tbh no one has said stay with her and try work it out just that I should talk to her or just break up with her.
I said mostly women because I know there are some guys that are insensitive to the situation, like break up with her and send her to me and your on this site so that's tells you your answer. But some guys evident on her can show that they register the situation and can give proper advice ignoring the fact that I'm on this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Popcorn anyone?
It's not that bad yet. But I ask the op if he wishes the title was not mostly, but 'only girls' advice. .
Op, is this the advice you expected? Our opinions against your character rather than what we think you should do?
I don't think the title would make a difference to who gave advice. But I do believe accusing men of being less sensitive on the matter is pretty ironic when he says his gf is insensitive."
I don't think I or the op implied that woman or men are more sensitive. My point was directed at the name calling that's popped up quickly on here, mostly a man.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wanted people's opinion and tbh no one has said stay with her and try work it out just that I should talk to her or just break up with her.
I said mostly women because I know there are some guys that are insensitive to the situation, like break up with her and send her to me and your on this site so that's tells you your answer. But some guys evident on her can show that they register the situation and can give proper advice ignoring the fact that I'm on this. "
How can it be ignored you chose a swinging site as a solution? That is a conscious decision and not a very good one. Also, you said you don't care about her and only feel sorry for her. What Is there to work out? This seems like a pretty open and closed case. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wanted people's opinion and tbh no one has said stay with her and try work it out just that I should talk to her or just break up with her.
I said mostly women because I know there are some guys that are insensitive to the situation, like break up with her and send her to me and your on this site so that's tells you your answer. But some guys evident on her can show that they register the situation and can give proper advice ignoring the fact that I'm on this.
How can it be ignored you chose a swinging site as a solution? That is a conscious decision and not a very good one. Also, you said you don't care about her and only feel sorry for her. What Is there to work out? This seems like a pretty open and closed case."
I said fallen out of love with her, I never said I didn't care about her. |
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"I wanted people's opinion and tbh no one has said stay with her and try work it out just that I should talk to her or just break up with her.
I said mostly women because I know there are some guys that are insensitive to the situation, like break up with her and send her to me and your on this site so that's tells you your answer. But some guys evident on her can show that they register the situation and can give proper advice ignoring the fact that I'm on this. "
As people have said, the fact that you have posted this and the fact that you are secretly on a swinging site says that this is a bad relationship that should be ended. However, one can get attached to someone even in a bad relationship and breaking up is not as easy as some people here suggest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wanted people's opinion and tbh no one has said stay with her and try work it out just that I should talk to her or just break up with her.
I said mostly women because I know there are some guys that are insensitive to the situation, like break up with her and send her to me and your on this site so that's tells you your answer. But some guys evident on her can show that they register the situation and can give proper advice ignoring the fact that I'm on this.
How can it be ignored you chose a swinging site as a solution? That is a conscious decision and not a very good one. Also, you said you don't care about her and only feel sorry for her. What Is there to work out? This seems like a pretty open and closed case.
I said fallen out of love with her, I never said I didn't care about her. "
If you care about her mate do the right thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OK, so some thoughts OP (and like all things given as advice, can be taken or left):-
Firstly, do you want to work at your relationship? Do you think its worth saving and can you find all those things that made you love her originally and work at them? If so, delete your account, sit down and talk to her. I mean really talk to her, be honest about how her behaviour makes you feel and be prepared to get told some home truths in return. Rarely is anything one sided! If you want to work at it, the opportunity is there because you haven't pulled the pin on it yet.
Or, if you genuinely believe that you don't want your relationship any more, sit down and have an honest conversation. You don't have to blame her, or anyone - and acrimony is never great. You may find that her behaviour is an externalisation of how she feels - that maybe shes pushing you away in the hopes you'd break it off as she doesn't have the strength to - much like yourself at present. Perhaps she feels that you may not find anyone else!
To be fair, pretty much anything other than sticking with the status quo (which in the end will make you both miserable and end up resenting each other, then hating each other) requires you to put on the 'big-boy' pants and pick a direction. Then have a open and honest conversation with this lady. Because if you love her (in whatever aspect) and you care for her, then talk to her. Be honest. Be kind. Be sure. Sometimes these things are like ripping off a band-aid; it hurts way more in your head than it does in reality.
But its time for the big-boy pants! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OK, so some thoughts OP (and like all things given as advice, can be taken or left):-
Firstly, do you want to work at your relationship? Do you think its worth saving and can you find all those things that made you love her originally and work at them? If so, delete your account, sit down and talk to her. I mean really talk to her, be honest about how her behaviour makes you feel and be prepared to get told some home truths in return. Rarely is anything one sided! If you want to work at it, the opportunity is there because you haven't pulled the pin on it yet.
Or, if you genuinely believe that you don't want your relationship any more, sit down and have an honest conversation. You don't have to blame her, or anyone - and acrimony is never great. You may find that her behaviour is an externalisation of how she feels - that maybe shes pushing you away in the hopes you'd break it off as she doesn't have the strength to - much like yourself at present. Perhaps she feels that you may not find anyone else!
To be fair, pretty much anything other than sticking with the status quo (which in the end will make you both miserable and end up resenting each other, then hating each other) requires you to put on the 'big-boy' pants and pick a direction. Then have a open and honest conversation with this lady. Because if you love her (in whatever aspect) and you care for her, then talk to her. Be honest. Be kind. Be sure. Sometimes these things are like ripping off a band-aid; it hurts way more in your head than it does in reality.
But its time for the big-boy pants! "
Well said man. I definitely need to have a chat with her and keep in mind it could eventually be a break up chat. We both need to talk about things properly.
I really do appreciate your input. |
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"Popcorn anyone?
It's not that bad yet. But I ask the op if he wishes the title was not mostly, but 'only girls' advice. .
Op, is this the advice you expected? Our opinions against your character rather than what we think you should do?
I don't think the title would make a difference to who gave advice. But I do believe accusing men of being less sensitive on the matter is pretty ironic when he says his gf is insensitive.
I don't think I or the op implied that woman or men are more sensitive. My point was directed at the name calling that's popped up quickly on here, mostly a man.
"
The OP stated to someone he didn't want men commenting because he didn't want insensitive fuck boys. Then in his post he reflects on what he says his gf is like which is insensitive. |
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