"I suppose if a divorce resulted from the affair it might become difficult for them to see their children. Some partners use their children or access to them to punish their partner. "
I have heard of many a partner use them as a bargaining chip to punish the other party. Only to get bored with them, once the settlement is finished. |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
they're using the kids to threaten basically?
suppose there is also a chance the kids might not wanna see the parent even if the offended parent doesn't stop them?
but i think if a person says that someone will lose their kids then they are thinking of stopping that person from seeing them. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
People who restrict kid access to their exes are crazy IMO (unless there is danger to anyone involved). When me and the ex split up I made damn sure he got to see my daughter, because I was sick of staying at home every weekend when we were together, while he went out to party. I got my own back, he got to look after her, win, win! |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"Presumably there'd be a divorce, they'd live with one parent and visits with the other might be limited by time or distance."
this kinda makes sense but they still wouldn't lose them i think.
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"Because like my ex they don't want the hard work of being a parent"
Y is it that the 1s that shoodount have kids all ways have kids but the 1s that want kids and wood make grate parents are left without...? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Presumably there'd be a divorce, they'd live with one parent and visits with the other might be limited by time or distance.
this kinda makes sense but they still wouldn't lose them i think.
"
I know plenty of cases where an affair meant the partner that was cheated on took the kids away and the kids hated the other parent for ripping the family apart.. thus losing the kids x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why would someone who had an affair lose their kids? seems a weird thing to say."
.
I lost my wife and kids.... Sadly the fuckers have tracked me down, next time I'm gonna hide better  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why would someone who had an affair lose their kids? seems a weird thing to say..
I lost my wife and kids.... Sadly the fuckers have tracked me down, next time I'm gonna hide better "
South America wasn't far enough? |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"Presumably there'd be a divorce, they'd live with one parent and visits with the other might be limited by time or distance.
this kinda makes sense but they still wouldn't lose them i think.
I know plenty of cases where an affair meant the partner that was cheated on took the kids away and the kids hated the other parent for ripping the family apart.. thus losing the kids x "
that's sad, and really crappy. can't think of anything worse than staying together for the sake of the kids coz i've been there and done it.
i feel quite lucky my kids accepted it when me and my ex split up, we never told them why though. when they were older my oldest kids asked why we split and i told them then and explained even though he cheated he had his reasons, i didn't totally blame him for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why would someone who had an affair lose their kids? seems a weird thing to say..
I lost my wife and kids.... Sadly the fuckers have tracked me down, next time I'm gonna hide better
South America wasn't far enough? "
.
I should have stayed there... They said  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in the process of separation at the moment and my wife is threatening to move closer to her job and take my kids with her... she works in London in the week and stays in hotels while I'm effectively a house husband but if she re locates I'll only see my kids once a fortnight which will break my heart. ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm in the process of separation at the moment and my wife is threatening to move closer to her job and take my kids with her... she works in London in the week and stays in hotels while I'm effectively a house husband but if she re locates I'll only see my kids once a fortnight which will break my heart. ..."
If you're the primary carer, surely you have a great opportunity of having them reside with you? Talk to someone. |
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Some of us spent many, many years trying to get their childrens father to engage with them but sadly, he remains the fuckwit that even abandoned his grown children and grandchildren, despite their continued efforts to get to know him with no blame or bitterness.
Being utterly ignored is heartbreaking at 3, it's life altering at 33.
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
there's been no hint of him neglecting his kids. in fact his wife doesn't want to him to leave and so must think he's an alright dad?
i'm more interested in why someone would say a guy would lose his kids for having an affair. doesn't make any sense at all, to me anyway. last thought in my head when my ex cheated on me was the kids and me denying him access to them. |
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By *mynclMan
over a year ago
Newcastle |
I was divorced but there was no way I was going to give up on my kids, fought for 2yeats and now they live with me, but I do encourage them to see their mother on the holidays and weekends. |
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"there's been no hint of him neglecting his kids. in fact his wife doesn't want to him to leave and so must think he's an alright dad?
i'm more interested in why someone would say a guy would lose his kids for having an affair. doesn't make any sense at all, to me anyway. last thought in my head when my ex cheated on me was the kids and me denying him access to them."
Scare tactics? To stop him doing it, to make him tell his wife or to keep it secret. I guess people all experience things differently when this situation arises. I didn't want my kids dad to stop seeing them but he was more interested in other women, but then he kind of grew up and started seeing them. |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
ok thanks all. so after reading all of this (and thinking some more) i think she was trying to guilt trip me into not being a threat. but i don't use my kids like that so all she did was confuse me, i even said to her why would you stop him from seeing his kids for having an affair.
weird situation for him to be in, but this is why i don't wanna meet attached guys really, can do without this shit.
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
we was camming every night and he's told some of his family about me. he stopped over at mine as well so i didn't think they was still together. i still don't think they are.
not sure why she was making the threats at me really? coz they didn't work when she threatened him? it didn't stop him seeing me. |
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