FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > You want me to do what? - odd things you've been asked to do at work
You want me to do what? - odd things you've been asked to do at work
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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One day my client was away leaving her daughter to hold the fort. She came rushing out while i was cutting the grass.
'Can you help me? There's a massive spider in the bedroom', she said frantically,'it's just run under the bed'.
'The bedroom', thinks i,'maybe my luck has changed'. I would like to state at this point that she was in her 30's - i know what you lot are like.
I dutifully followed her into the bedroom where i found unfortunately that there was actually a spider, and a dread beast it was too, of colossal proportions (the size of a 10p coin).
Pushing the bed to one side the spider made a run for it into the corner, trapped.
'Don't kill it', she said nervously from the opposite end of the room.
After a bit of scrabbling around i deftly scooped up the miscreant and, allowing it to explore the expanse of my forearm, ejected it into the wilds of the garden.
I went back to my mowing, a little disappointed but with my shiny armour freshly buffed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wasn't at work but woke up to someone knocking at the door the other week. Turns out my new neighbour forgot her door locked automatically and left her new born baby in the house. Ended up having to scale the drain pipe and climb through the window for her. And i'm scared of heights! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wasn't at work but woke up to someone knocking at the door the other week. Turns out my new neighbour forgot her door locked automatically and left her new born baby in the house. Ended up having to scale the drain pipe and climb through the window for her. And i'm scared of heights!"
That's just put my tale of daring do to shame.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got asked to hoover someone's curtains and wash her lampshade.  .
I'm a fookin joiner.
Had you made the mess on the curtains and lampshade?"
I really wish I could say yes, but sadly no.  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I got asked to hoover someone's curtains and wash her lampshade. .
I'm a fookin joiner.
Had you made the mess on the curtains and lampshade?
I really wish I could say yes, but sadly no. "
 I didn't mean by wiping your cock on the curtains when you had finished btw
Did you make a mess with your wood shavings? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The offshore industry is plagued by grace and favour employees
I was asked to give promotion to a idle lump of lard who just so happened to be the son of a senior executive of a company we occasionally subcontracted .....
I declined and pointed out I'd be more inclined to sack the little turd,,,,,
Happy dayz .....
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"The offshore industry is plagued by grace and favour employees
I was asked to give promotion to a idle lump of lard who just so happened to be the son of a senior executive of a company we occasionally subcontracted .....
I declined and pointed out I'd be more inclined to sack the little turd,,,,,
Happy dayz .....
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wasn't at work but woke up to someone knocking at the door the other week. Turns out my new neighbour forgot her door locked automatically and left her new born baby in the house. Ended up having to scale the drain pipe and climb through the window for her. And i'm scared of heights!
That's just put my tale of daring do to shame. "
Well i'd much rather do that than capture a spider Can't stand them, they terrify me. |
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I get asked to do all kinds of odd stuff. It's the nature of what I do.
Most recent I had to accompany a client to the GP because he was too embarrassed to talk about how he was passing blood when he poo'd. I declined to stay for the exam part of the appointment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got asked to hoover someone's curtains and wash her lampshade. .
I'm a fookin joiner.
Had you made the mess on the curtains and lampshade?
I really wish I could say yes, but sadly no.
I didn't mean by wiping your cock on the curtains when you had finished btw
Did you make a mess with your wood shavings?"
Haha. I never make a mess, if I do, I always walk out and and let them clean it up. |
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By *100Man
over a year ago
Essex |
I was once asked to checkout an employees inverted nipples as she was telling me all about them and a little embarrassed I said I had not seen one before so she lifted up her top and gave her nipples a squeeze to show me and she had very big nipples and she asked if i would like to touch them and yes she did give me a hard on but then my sexual harassment alarm started ringing in my head so I made a quick exit I'm such a gentleman or a complete pussy.
Do women like to embarrass the boss on purpose or does work make them so horny lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got asked to hoover someone's curtains and wash her lampshade. .
I'm a fookin joiner.
When you've finished can you pop round and do mine? "
Do you have a Dyson? I'll get my diary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got asked to hoover someone's curtains and wash her lampshade. .
I'm a fookin joiner.
And did you? 
Yes. I'll do anything for money.
Ohhh my. The offers will flood in now...
You say anything? "
Good point. I might have over shot that comment somehow. |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"I got asked to hoover someone's curtains and wash her lampshade. .
I'm a fookin joiner.
When you've finished can you pop round and do mine?
Do you have a Dyson? I'll get my diary. "
I don't have one - is that a deal breaker? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I replaced a broken window pane for an old boy that got burgled.I also helped a disabled person bath and dress after they had fallen from their wheelchair and been laying for hours before anyone knew, bloody social services!Thinking on it, I have done some seriously weird shit for work....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rigger we would like you to pop over and sort out Iraq and Afghanistan.
You what? Have you not read any Rudyard Kipling?
Dont worry it will all be fine"
That all? That bloody Queen told me to stop the Irish fighting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got asked to hoover someone's curtains and wash her lampshade. .
I'm a fookin joiner.
When you've finished can you pop round and do mine?
Do you have a Dyson? I'll get my diary.
I don't have one - is that a deal breaker? "
It depends. Do I get a coffee? |
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