FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Let's help the guys for once
Let's help the guys for once
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I am talking about giving general advice on the "do" and "Don't" on here, in other words what do we women really want from them, in their profiles and in their chats to us.
This is meant to be light-hearted but also carries an element of the genuine wish to guide guys in the right direction.
I will kick off with an "do" and "Do not"
1. Do not post ANY cock pics with your first message but do refer to something in the woman's profile that is unique to her. 
2. |
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"Do: Turn up.
Don't: Say you'll turn up then not turn up.
Good one - guys please take notice!"
Do some guys really not turn up?
If I ever get lucky enough to arrange a meet (the only one I have had so far couldn't make it at last minute) I will *definitely* turn up! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't expect her to engage in filthy chat from the start.
Do take time to make sure your message has something to reply to. Ask her things, comment on what shes said. "Im ok,you?" is boring. |
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If contacting a couple, address the opening message to both!!
Also if you get as far as a kik conversation, dont message the lady and ask if she wants to meet privately
*yes this has actualy happend to us |
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I'm new here never done anything as naughty as this before so how some questions. 1st 1 is how do I get kick some bitches back doors in. Ive been here half a day and not had a sniff. What am I doing wrong. Impatiently your blades |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Do: Turn up.
Don't: Say you'll turn up then not turn up.
Getting to the point of not being able to turn up would be a start  "
Do: be chatty and friendly in your initial message.
Don't: Ask if they have a sister or better looking mate she can bring along on the first meet.
Do: Keep a sense of humour.
Don't: get stroppy and post all over the forums when they don't reply. |
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If I check in the morning you are still okay for later
Don't ignore it
If you have changed your mind or more likely turned chicken....
Take the out and just reply!
Ignorance makes you look even more of a #$! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does the first message really have to be that elaborate....?
Isn't a quick hello. Here are my pictures...
Enough. You really need to like what you see don't you?
Once you send one back then the chat expands ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If contacting a couple, address the opening message to both!!"
Couldn't agree more with this. Any single guy who refers purely to the female half in messages to us gets blocked without hesitation. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Brilliant thread. We really need stickies in this forum!
Why do we need a sticky on stating the bleedin obvious ??  "
Its worrying that so many people on here so far have said how useful this post is. |
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"Brilliant thread. We really need stickies in this forum!
Why do we need a sticky on stating the bleedin obvious ??
Its worrying that so many people on here so far have said how useful this post is. "
I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking that |
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By *j48Man
over a year ago
Wigan |
"If contacting a couple, address the opening message to both!!
Couldn't agree more with this. Any single guy who refers purely to the female half in messages to us gets blocked without hesitation."
And the first line of your profile says guys
No cock pics or your blocked
And how many photos of the male are there in your profile zero - 3 cock shots
Hmm hey your wife has a great body, not a clue about your hubby though lol |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Loads of good points and some hilarious ones as well.
I posted out of a genuine desire to give (some) newbies and oldies some guidance as to what is likely to go down well.
For me nothing is more off putting than pushy guys who want the quickest fix possible. Maybe we should have a guide thread for women as well? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But DO send a cock and face picture with your first message if you're looking to meet someone like myself.
It's all so confusing.  "
Or say "I'm gonna smash your back doors in" ... that's a block ..lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't: send messages like "hi" or "meet now" or "mrs is fit"
Do: send a couple of nice and polite sentences showing you can put some effort in and showing you've clearly read the profile and not copy and pasted your message in the hopes of a desperate fuck.
A x |
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"But DO send a cock and face picture with your first message if you're looking to meet someone like myself. "
Lots of women on the forum slate cock pics but I made some of mine public on my profile a few days ago and they've got quite a few fabs from the ladies and a good response with mail so plenty of women out there that do like them.  |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
'Tas Maddon me smile this thread, it's almost like Stepford wives...
If you have to compromise your values for sex you're looking at the wrong people.
Should be a meeting of minds as well as bodies, well for me and the type of play I prefer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If contacting a couple, address the opening message to both!!
Couldn't agree more with this. Any single guy who refers purely to the female half in messages to us gets blocked without hesitation."
It annoys me more when they message Mr Jazzy and not me. It clearly says on our profile that I'm the one who runs our profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am talking about giving general advice on the "do" and "Don't" on here, in other words what do we women really want from them, in their profiles and in their chats to us.
This is meant to be light-hearted but also carries an element of the genuine wish to guide guys in the right direction.
I will kick off with an "do" and "Do not"
1. Do not post ANY cock pics with your first message but do refer to something in the woman's profile that is unique to her.
2. "
Sorry, but what a effing condescending thread. Imagine the vitriol if a man posted similar, ffs! |
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DO read profiles first
DON'T send messages to who's preferences you don't meet
DO send a face/body pic
DON'T send a cock pic
DO send a compliment
DON'T make it sleazy/overly sexual
DO ask, once chatted if ok to be friends
DON'T send random friend requests
DO take it on the chin, if your message is deleted
DON'T send another message
DO offer a social
DON'T expect instashag
DON'T arrange a meet then stop all contact 24hrs before
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"
Sorry, but what a effing condescending thread. Imagine the vitriol if a man posted similar, ffs! "
Sorry I disagree
It seems there's dozens of daily posts from men, asking for help, or moaning they can't get anywhere.
I delete more messages a day than I can count because of point's I've listed, and what others have put.
Maybe this thread may help some, to understand where they're going wrong, and the may just alter their approach |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here's a massage that's just worked for me off a guy! ...
Hey you ok? I drive, can accommodate or pay for a hotel if you are wanting to meet, or happy just to chat. I have attached a pic but have more, skype and kik etc to prove I'm real. Fancy chatting? No pressure x "
Before your told you can't share pm's.
Can I copy and paste it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here's a massage that's just worked for me off a guy! ...
Hey you ok? I drive, can accommodate or pay for a hotel if you are wanting to meet, or happy just to chat. I have attached a pic but have more, skype and kik etc to prove I'm real. Fancy chatting? No pressure x ... it's an example.then ..
Hey you ok? I drive, can accommodate or pay for a hotel if you are wanting to meet, or happy just to chat. I have attached a pic but have more, skype and kik etc to prove I'm real. Fancy chatting? No pressure x
Before your told you can't share pm's.
Can I copy and paste it? "
 ok it was off a mythical creatures who's not on fab! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dont lie about your age
Dont arrange to meet a woman then tell her how much she would enjoy his M friend
Do read profiles
Dont ask women to change their preferences so you can message them
Just a few ideas... |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Precisely how it was meant to be read! I do not object to cock pics but i prefer nit to be greeted by them.
If I am being approached by a man in a pub, I would expect a verbal exchange and maybe a smile but not be shown his cock prior to the conversation.
So for me, being confronted with his pride and joy before any form of communication has taken place is just not to my liking.
Different strokes for different folks, No pun intended.
My guidance for guys who want to get meets woukd be to behave as they normally would in social interactions: by all means be individualistic... but accept you may be not everyone's cup of tea.
Some good posts on here conducive to a conversation.
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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago
Henley Arden |
Do read and apply all the helpful advice given in this and other threads.
Of course if you do read but don't apply but then moan about lack of meets then expect to be on the never never list forever.
It shows you are either A lazy B unable to learn and apply or both. This doesn't bode well for bed or social skills.
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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago
Henley Arden |
"Women thinking they know it all again pmsl  "
As some replies are from couples profiles how do you do it's all women?
Some advice could be from the male half who's also tired of time wasters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women thinking they know it all again pmsl
As some replies are from couples profiles how do you do it's all women?
Some advice could be from the male half who's also tired of time wasters. "
Love a reaction 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a bloke, I find some of the advice confusing.
So many women are looking for different things in different ways and your average guy has no chance of appealing to you all, even if he wanted to. Short of having multiple profiles (and multiple personalities), all you can do is be yourself.
If what you say about yourself is guided by what people want you to say, it is no longer you they are attracted to, but the fantasy of thinking you are what they want.
Be yourself.
You won't appeal to all, but you will appeal to some! Even my profile has had positive feedback...
Although the advice about being honest is good advice. |
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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago
Henley Arden |
"Women thinking they know it all again pmsl
As some replies are from couples profiles how do you do it's all women?
Some advice could be from the male half who's also tired of time wasters.
Love a reaction
So your just Trolling on what was meant to be a helpful thread then.
"
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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago
Henley Arden |
"As a bloke, I find some of the advice confusing.
So many women are looking for different things in different ways and your average guy has no chance of appealing to you all, even if he wanted to. Short of having multiple profiles (and multiple personalities), all you can do is be yourself.
If what you say about yourself is guided by what people want you to say, it is no longer you they are attracted to, but the fantasy of thinking you are what they want.
Be yourself.
You won't appeal to all, but you will appeal to some! Even my profile has had positive feedback...
Although the advice about being honest is good advice. "
Probably the best advice of all.
At the end of the day if your a decent man you will get meets. If someone is a complete tosser then no amount of profile editing will get them a meet. Although I'm sure there's a lady out there who likes tossers. |
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"Do whatever the fuck you like. I admire individuality. I'm not a fan of those that like to conform to the masses. "
Yep I agree. I'm not going to be patronising and tell a man what he should and shouldn't do when contacting women/couples on here. What works for me may not work for someone else.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do whatever the fuck you like. I admire individuality. I'm not a fan of those that like to conform to the masses.
Yep I agree. I'm not going to be patronising and tell a man what he should and shouldn't do when contacting women/couples on here. What works for me may not work for someone else.
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do whatever the fuck you like. I admire individuality. I'm not a fan of those that like to conform to the masses.
Yep I agree. I'm not going to be patronising and tell a man what he should and shouldn't do when contacting women/couples on here. What works for me may not work for someone else.
and an extra one for good luck "
Cheer up |
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"Do whatever the fuck you like. I admire individuality. I'm not a fan of those that like to conform to the masses.
Yep I agree. I'm not going to be patronising and tell a man what he should and shouldn't do when contacting women/couples on here. What works for me may not work for someone else.
"
So you actually agree with being told how to contact women/couples on here .
Is this a site for grown men,I think I'm in the wrong place if it isn't! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do whatever the fuck you like. I admire individuality. I'm not a fan of those that like to conform to the masses.
Yep I agree. I'm not going to be patronising and tell a man what he should and shouldn't do when contacting women/couples on here. What works for me may not work for someone else.
So you actually agree with being told how to contact women/couples on here .
Is this a site for grown men,I think I'm in the wrong place if it isn't!"
Do you know the difference between 'being told' and giving advice?  |
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If a bloke really needed to be told most of what's on here would you lot really want to meet him. Surely this is a how to fool you into thinking I'm a decent bloke when really I'm a total tosser thread... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do whatever the fuck you like. I admire individuality. I'm not a fan of those that like to conform to the masses.
Yep I agree. I'm not going to be patronising and tell a man what he should and shouldn't do when contacting women/couples on here. What works for me may not work for someone else.
So you actually agree with being told how to contact women/couples on here .
Is this a site for grown men,I think I'm in the wrong place if it isn't!
Do you know the difference between 'being told' and giving advice? "
This is weird, I thought about you today and you haven't been around for weeks and today you turn up. It's fate! |
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"Do whatever the fuck you like. I admire individuality. I'm not a fan of those that like to conform to the masses.
Yep I agree. I'm not going to be patronising and tell a man what he should and shouldn't do when contacting women/couples on here. What works for me may not work for someone else.
So you actually agree with being told how to contact women/couples on here .
Is this a site for grown men,I think I'm in the wrong place if it isn't!
Do you know the difference between 'being told' and giving advice? "
Take that as a yes then. |
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"If a bloke really needed to be told most of what's on here would you lot really want to meet him. Surely this is a how to fool you into thinking I'm a decent bloke when really I'm a total tosser thread..."
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Understand all the points which are generally common sense. The face pic one is a bit of a tricky one. Most profiles that demand one don't have one up.
Whilst you lovely lot are, of course, decent folk. The reality is you never know who you are really sending a message to. After a couple of messages it's a reasonable request but for us more discreet folk it's quite an ask.
And no I don't have a partner, nor am I in a high profile position. Just a reasonably private guy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do whatever the fuck you like. I admire individuality. I'm not a fan of those that like to conform to the masses.
Yep I agree. I'm not going to be patronising and tell a man what he should and shouldn't do when contacting women/couples on here. What works for me may not work for someone else.
So you actually agree with being told how to contact women/couples on here .
Is this a site for grown men,I think I'm in the wrong place if it isn't!
Do you know the difference between 'being told' and giving advice?
Take that as a yes then."
Keep smiling |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
I'm not a fan of those that like to conform to the masses.
Yep I agree. I'm not going to be patronising and tell a man what he should and shouldn't do when contacting women/couples on here. What works for me may not work for someone else.
"
This.
I wonder why people think their do's and don'ts are gospel. We all like different things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also guys and birds need to realise that it doesn't even matter what you say in a message. It's your pictures that determine whether someone will meet you or not. |
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"Do whatever the fuck you like. I admire individuality. I'm not a fan of those that like to conform to the masses.
Yep I agree. I'm not going to be patronising and tell a man what he should and shouldn't do when contacting women/couples on here. What works for me may not work for someone else.
So you actually agree with being told how to contact women/couples on here .
Is this a site for grown men,I think I'm in the wrong place if it isn't!
Do you know the difference between 'being told' and giving advice?
Take that as a yes then.
Keep smiling "
Stop trying to cause trouble as you usually do with me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I'm not a fan of those that like to conform to the masses.
Yep I agree. I'm not going to be patronising and tell a man what he should and shouldn't do when contacting women/couples on here. What works for me may not work for someone else.
This.
I wonder why people think their do's and don'ts are gospel. We all like different things."
I thought this was supposed to be a light hearted thread |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
I'm not a fan of those that like to conform to the masses.
Yep I agree. I'm not going to be patronising and tell a man what he should and shouldn't do when contacting women/couples on here. What works for me may not work for someone else.
This.
."
This
I wonder why people think their do's and don'ts are gospel. We all like different things. the two mentioned in the OP is something I am not bothered about at all. I also believe in letting the man decide what they write or show as it shows what type of person they are rather than have a man read a thread like this and not show his true self. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
I'm not a fan of those that like to conform to the masses.
Yep I agree. I'm not going to be patronising and tell a man what he should and shouldn't do when contacting women/couples on here. What works for me may not work for someone else.
This.
I wonder why people think their do's and don'ts are gospel. We all like different things.
I thought this was supposed to be a light hearted thread "
And your point is? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do whatever the fuck you like. I admire individuality. I'm not a fan of those that like to conform to the masses.
Yep I agree. I'm not going to be patronising and tell a man what he should and shouldn't do when contacting women/couples on here. What works for me may not work for someone else.
So you actually agree with being told how to contact women/couples on here .
Is this a site for grown men,I think I'm in the wrong place if it isn't!
Do you know the difference between 'being told' and giving advice?
Take that as a yes then.
Keep smiling
Stop trying to cause trouble as you usually do with me."
What do you mean, I have absolutely no idea who you are tbh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I'm not a fan of those that like to conform to the masses.
Yep I agree. I'm not going to be patronising and tell a man what he should and shouldn't do when contacting women/couples on here. What works for me may not work for someone else.
This.
I wonder why people think their do's and don'ts are gospel. We all like different things.
I thought this was supposed to be a light hearted thread
And your point is?"
I have just made it |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Does the first message really have to be that elaborate....?
Isn't a quick hello. Here are my pictures...
Enough. You really need to like what you see don't you?
Once you send one back then the chat expands ?
"
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Loads of good points and some hilarious ones as well.
I posted out of a genuine desire to give (some) newbies and oldies some guidance as to what is likely to go down well.
For me nothing is more off putting than pushy guys who want the quickest fix possible. Maybe we should have a guide thread for women as well? "
And couples. I wonder if that will go down well or will they feel patronised |
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"Loads of good points and some hilarious ones as well.
I posted out of a genuine desire to give (some) newbies and oldies some guidance as to what is likely to go down well.
For me nothing is more off putting than pushy guys who want the quickest fix possible. Maybe we should have a guide thread for women as well?
And couples. I wonder if that will go down well or will they feel patronised"
Now that would be interesting |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
To the men of Fab, you won't please every person you mail as we all like different things so I say just be yourself. don't forget the forum is only used by 1% of members, so these preferences won't be the same as a whole load more people out there. |
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"Loads of good points and some hilarious ones as well.
I posted out of a genuine desire to give (some) newbies and oldies some guidance as to what is likely to go down well.
For me nothing is more off putting than pushy guys who want the quickest fix possible. Maybe we should have a guide thread for women as well?
And couples. I wonder if that will go down well or will they feel patronised
Now that would be interesting "
That's the thing I certainly don't want to be given advice from anyone on how to message or what to say and that me sending out my vag pic on a first message isn't probably the best way to go. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Hardly. Either way, maybe leave the thread to people who want to discuss it
If your a mod shouldn't you stay impartial "
Where does asking you to stay off a thread where you have made no real input and your first post was a me not being impartial?
Don't attack the way I mod on the forum, send your feedback to Admin instead so you stick within the forum rules
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"Loads of good points and some hilarious ones as well.
I posted out of a genuine desire to give (some) newbies and oldies some guidance as to what is likely to go down well.
For me nothing is more off putting than pushy guys who want the quickest fix possible. Maybe we should have a guide thread for women as well?
And couples. I wonder if that will go down well or will they feel patronised
Now that would be interesting
That's the thing I certainly don't want to be given advice from anyone on how to message or what to say and that me sending out my vag pic on a first message isn't probably the best way to go."
I really really must protest I think sending me a bag pic in a 1st msg is definitely the forward for you. Trust me I'm a formite  |
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"To the men of Fab, you won't please every person you mail as we all like different things so I say just be yourself. don't forget the forum is only used by 1% of members, so these preferences won't be the same as a whole load more people out there."
Ye but that's 1 hell of a 1%  |
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"Loads of good points and some hilarious ones as well.
I posted out of a genuine desire to give (some) newbies and oldies some guidance as to what is likely to go down well.
For me nothing is more off putting than pushy guys who want the quickest fix possible. Maybe we should have a guide thread for women as well?
And couples. I wonder if that will go down well or will they feel patronised
Now that would be interesting
That's the thing I certainly don't want to be given advice from anyone on how to message or what to say and that me sending out my vag pic on a first message isn't probably the best way to go.
I really really must protest I think sending me a bag pic in a 1st msg is definitely the forward for you. Trust me I'm a formite "
A bag pic a fucking back pic. I give up |
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"Also guys and birds need to realise that it doesn't even matter what you say in a message. It's your pictures that determine whether someone will meet you or not. "
Not true. Not 100% of the time anyway |
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"Loads of good points and some hilarious ones as well.
I posted out of a genuine desire to give (some) newbies and oldies some guidance as to what is likely to go down well.
For me nothing is more off putting than pushy guys who want the quickest fix possible. Maybe we should have a guide thread for women as well?
And couples. I wonder if that will go down well or will they feel patronised
Now that would be interesting
That's the thing I certainly don't want to be given advice from anyone on how to message or what to say and that me sending out my vag pic on a first message isn't probably the best way to go.
I really really must protest I think sending me a bag pic in a 1st msg is definitely the forward for you. Trust me I'm a formite
A bag pic a fucking back pic. I give up "
What type of bag's do you prefer? |
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"Loads of good points and some hilarious ones as well.
I posted out of a genuine desire to give (some) newbies and oldies some guidance as to what is likely to go down well.
For me nothing is more off putting than pushy guys who want the quickest fix possible. Maybe we should have a guide thread for women as well?
And couples. I wonder if that will go down well or will they feel patronised
Now that would be interesting
That's the thing I certainly don't want to be given advice from anyone on how to message or what to say and that me sending out my vag pic on a first message isn't probably the best way to go.
I really really must protest I think sending me a bag pic in a 1st msg is definitely the forward for you. Trust me I'm a formite
A bag pic a fucking back pic. I give up
What type of bag's do you prefer? "
Them nice shiny Tescos 1s God they do it for me. Gigady gigady goo |
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Be yourself
Read profiles to see if you're compatible with your potential playmates
Attach a face pic (cock pic if they don't mind)
Go to socials/clubs
Be honest about your situation/face/body
Don't be too pushy or clingy
Have a personality
I could go on but these are skills men should apply to some degree in the real world.
The art of seduction is not exclusive to the internet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here's a massage that's just worked for me off a guy! ...
Hey you ok? I drive, can accommodate or pay for a hotel if you are wanting to meet, or happy just to chat. I have attached a pic but have more, skype and kik etc to prove I'm real. Fancy chatting? No pressure x "
This is perfect for me.
Straight to the point, wording I can read. Don't care if it's copy & pasted either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am talking about giving general advice on the "do" and "Don't" on here, in other words what do we women really want from them, in their profiles and in their chats to us.
This is meant to be light-hearted but also carries an element of the genuine wish to guide guys in the right direction.
I will kick off with an "do" and "Do not"
1. Do not post ANY cock pics with your first message but do refer to something in the woman's profile that is unique to her.
2. "
I do.... still doesn't get me anywhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always send polite messages even to ladies who use the forums and they look and don't reply some of them and it don't cost nowt just to be civil does it.and its not all about trying to get in there bhs undies is it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I never...
Look what I found friends. What an interesting thread from the past! It was true back then and it is still true now for every fabber. To all those that never took my word for it...
Always be yourself. No need to jump through hoops and try to be all things to everyone. Especially just to fit in with the crowd even if they appear to be cool at first. Don't get assimilated into the collective mindset. Think for yourself. Make your own decisions. Be unique. Be the best version of you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I never...
Look what I found friends. What an interesting thread from the past! It was true back then and it is still true now for every fabber. To all those that never took my word for it...
Always be yourself. No need to jump through hoops and try to be all things to everyone. Especially just to fit in with the crowd even if they appear to be cool at first. Don't get assimilated into the collective mindset. Think for yourself. Make your own decisions. Be unique. Be the best version of you!"
Word to your mother |
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