FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris

Jump to: Newest in thread

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We need to call in Chuck Norris

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesnt sleep. He waits.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *DontExistWoman over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

have i gone back 10 years in time here?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"have i gone back 10 years in time here?"

Chuck Norris doesn't age he weathers

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *DontExistWoman over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

"have i gone back 10 years in time here?

Chuck Norris doesn't age he weathers

chuck norris doesn't have sex, sex has him.

am i doing this right?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"have i gone back 10 years in time here?

Chuck Norris doesn't age he weathers

chuck norris doesn't have sex, sex has him.

am i doing this right?"

If you weren't Chuck Norris would get you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *DontExistWoman over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

chuck norris doesn't go to mcdonalds coz he eats proper food.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ty31Man over a year ago

NW London

Chuck Norris once pissed in the fuel tank of a truck. That truck is now Optimus Prime

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *DontExistWoman over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

chuck norris farted and a new universe was born.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ire_bladeMan over a year ago

Manchester

Chuckies made my head hurt

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *DontExistWoman over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

chuck norris goes to the gym and looks after himself.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger by yelling, "Bang!"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"chuck norris goes to the gym and looks after himself."

Chuck Norris just picks up the Gym

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *DontExistWoman over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

"chuck norris goes to the gym and looks after himself.

Chuck Norris just picks up the Gym

and uses it to train.

then he chases an actual train and runs faster than it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *DontExistWoman over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

when chuck norris goes to the corner shop his fans are waiting.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

Chuck Norris does have a missile in his pocket. He is never pleased to see anyone.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do: .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *DontExistWoman over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

when chuck norris drives his car he is a considerate driver.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I just realised there is 260 pages of these on his website

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *DontExistWoman over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

if you start posting about chuck norris without going to his website first he makes you go to his website using mind control.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris can un scramble an egg

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

Chuck Norris wasn't born.

He was created

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *DontExistWoman over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

chuck norris treats you like a lady.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"chuck norris treats you like a lady."

Even if your a man

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *DontExistWoman over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

"chuck norris treats you like a lady.

Even if your a man

hahaha.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *DontExistWoman over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

chuck norris has manners but never replies to all his messages on fab.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"chuck norris has manners but never replies to all his messages on fab."

I refer you to the roundhouse kick via email joke

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *DontExistWoman over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

chuck norris always gets a triple A score on DDR.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"chuck norris doesn't go to mcdonalds coz he eats proper food."

Chuck Norris once made a happy meal cry.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris was Karate ,Bruce Lee was Kung -Fu & Bruce kicked Chuck's arse Chuck is shit

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Chuck Norris was Karate ,Bruce Lee was Kung -Fu & Bruce kicked Chuck's arse Chuck is shit

Chuck Norris does Tan Soo Do not karate

Bruce Lee had no spinning back kick until he'd trained with Chuck Norris and Joe Lewis.

There is great debate still in the martial arts community as to who was better.

Read a book

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Tang soo Do

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Chuck Norris was Karate ,Bruce Lee was Kung -Fu & Bruce kicked Chuck's arse Chuck is shit

Chuck Norris does Tan Soo Do not karate

Bruce Lee had no spinning back kick until he'd trained with Chuck Norris and Joe Lewis.

There is great debate still in the martial arts community as to who was better.

Read a book

Bruce Lee rules

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Chuck Norris was Karate ,Bruce Lee was Kung -Fu & Bruce kicked Chuck's arse Chuck is shit

Chuck Norris does Tan Soo Do not karate

Bruce Lee had no spinning back kick until he'd trained with Chuck Norris and Joe Lewis.

There is great debate still in the martial arts community as to who was better.

Read a book

Bruce Lee rules

He was better at cha cha dancing than fighting.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Chuck Norris was Karate ,Bruce Lee was Kung -Fu & Bruce kicked Chuck's arse Chuck is shit

Chuck Norris does Tan Soo Do not karate

Bruce Lee had no spinning back kick until he'd trained with Chuck Norris and Joe Lewis.

There is great debate still in the martial arts community as to who was better.

Read a book

Bruce Lee rules

He was better at cha cha dancing than fighting.

This debate could go on for years to come

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Chuck Norris was Karate ,Bruce Lee was Kung -Fu & Bruce kicked Chuck's arse Chuck is shit

Chuck Norris does Tan Soo Do not karate

Bruce Lee had no spinning back kick until he'd trained with Chuck Norris and Joe Lewis.

There is great debate still in the martial arts community as to who was better.

Read a book

Bruce Lee rules

He was better at cha cha dancing than fighting.

*whispering - I think Bruce Lee was better, but that's another story.

In the latest meteor shower, Chuck went outside with his shower gel.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Chuck Norris was Karate ,Bruce Lee was Kung -Fu & Bruce kicked Chuck's arse Chuck is shit

Chuck Norris does Tan Soo Do not karate

Bruce Lee had no spinning back kick until he'd trained with Chuck Norris and Joe Lewis.

There is great debate still in the martial arts community as to who was better.

Read a book

Bruce Lee rules

He was better at cha cha dancing than fighting.

This debate could go on for years to come

There's only one way to solve this ... FIGHT

Who's got a shovel?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Chuck Norris was Karate ,Bruce Lee was Kung -Fu & Bruce kicked Chuck's arse Chuck is shit

Chuck Norris does Tan Soo Do not karate

Bruce Lee had no spinning back kick until he'd trained with Chuck Norris and Joe Lewis.

There is great debate still in the martial arts community as to who was better.

Read a book

Bruce Lee rules

He was better at cha cha dancing than fighting.

This debate could go on for years to come

There's only one way to solve this ... FIGHT

Who's got a shovel? "

Enter the Dragon say no more

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Chuck Norris was Karate ,Bruce Lee was Kung -Fu & Bruce kicked Chuck's arse Chuck is shit

Chuck Norris does Tan Soo Do not karate

Bruce Lee had no spinning back kick until he'd trained with Chuck Norris and Joe Lewis.

There is great debate still in the martial arts community as to who was better.

Read a book

Bruce Lee rules

He was better at cha cha dancing than fighting.

This debate could go on for years to come

There's only one way to solve this ... FIGHT

Who's got a shovel?

Enter the Dragon say no more

That was Bob Wall playing O'Harra

Chuck vs Bruce was in Way of the Dragon aka Return of the dragon. Get your films right

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Chuck Norris was Karate ,Bruce Lee was Kung -Fu & Bruce kicked Chuck's arse Chuck is shit

Chuck Norris does Tan Soo Do not karate

Bruce Lee had no spinning back kick until he'd trained with Chuck Norris and Joe Lewis.

There is great debate still in the martial arts community as to who was better.

Read a book

Bruce Lee rules

He was better at cha cha dancing than fighting.

This debate could go on for years to come

There's only one way to solve this ... FIGHT

Who's got a shovel?

Enter the Dragon say no more

That was Bob Wall playing O'Harra

Chuck vs Bruce was in Way of the Dragon aka Return of the dragon. Get your films right

Enter the Dragon as in best martial Art film , Chuck Norris just followed getting in on the act of martial art films

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Chuck Norris was Karate ,Bruce Lee was Kung -Fu & Bruce kicked Chuck's arse Chuck is shit

Chuck Norris does Tan Soo Do not karate

Bruce Lee had no spinning back kick until he'd trained with Chuck Norris and Joe Lewis.

There is great debate still in the martial arts community as to who was better.

Read a book

Bruce Lee rules

He was better at cha cha dancing than fighting.

This debate could go on for years to come

There's only one way to solve this ... FIGHT

Who's got a shovel?

Enter the Dragon say no more

That was Bob Wall playing O'Harra

Chuck vs Bruce was in Way of the Dragon aka Return of the dragon. Get your films right

Enter the Dragon as in best martial Art film , Chuck Norris just followed getting in on the act of martial art films

Yeah he was to busy being the world heavy weight karate champion

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

The United Nations has classified Chuck Norris as a Weapon of Mass Destruction.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The United Nations has classified Chuck Norris as a Weapon of Mass Destruction."

He has a concealed weapons licence for walking with his hands in his pockets.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bruce Lee was a better fighter & twice as quick

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Bruce Lee was a better fighter & twice as quick

Prove it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Bruce Lee was a better fighter & twice as quick

Prove it. "

Lol bit pigging late now , history says it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Bruce Lee was a better fighter & twice as quick

Prove it.

Lol bit pigging late now , history says it

Where?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Bruce Lee was a better fighter & twice as quick

Prove it.

Lol bit pigging late now , history says it

Where?"

All in the knowledge who knows , old Chuckie boy was like a lardy cart horse & Bruce was like a deadly lightning grey hound

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

#1 Chuck and Bruce used to spar and train together, so the only person who could actually give you a true valid opinion on who would win, is Chuck and he's too much of a gent to say.

#2 Bruce's back was totally fucked, he was on serious medication just to be able to move, it was a reaction between his regular meds and painkillers that caused the brain swelling that killed him.

#3 Chucks happy as Larry and got a BJJ black belt to add to his collection, as we all know a BJJ blue belt can take out black belts from all other styles except Chuck Kuk Do.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"#1 Chuck and Bruce used to spar and train together, so the only person who could actually give you a true valid opinion on who would win, is Chuck and he's too much of a gent to say.

#2 Bruce's back was totally fucked, he was on serious medication just to be able to move, it was a reaction between his regular meds and painkillers that caused the brain swelling that killed him.

#3 Chucks happy as Larry and got a BJJ black belt to add to his collection, as we all know a BJJ blue belt can take out black belts from all other styles except Chuck Kuk Do.

Bruce was still better & quicker

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"#1 Chuck and Bruce used to spar and train together, so the only person who could actually give you a true valid opinion on who would win, is Chuck and he's too much of a gent to say.

#2 Bruce's back was totally fucked, he was on serious medication just to be able to move, it was a reaction between his regular meds and painkillers that caused the brain swelling that killed him.

#3 Chucks happy as Larry and got a BJJ black belt to add to his collection, as we all know a BJJ blue belt can take out black belts from all other styles except Chuck Kuk Do.

Bruce was still better & quicker

Nah, he was better at wailing like a cat though, proving him a pussy

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"#1 Chuck and Bruce used to spar and train together, so the only person who could actually give you a true valid opinion on who would win, is Chuck and he's too much of a gent to say.

#2 Bruce's back was totally fucked, he was on serious medication just to be able to move, it was a reaction between his regular meds and painkillers that caused the brain swelling that killed him.

#3 Chucks happy as Larry and got a BJJ black belt to add to his collection, as we all know a BJJ blue belt can take out black belts from all other styles except Chuck Kuk Do.

Bruce was still better & quicker

Nah, he was better at wailing like a cat though, proving him a pussy "

A killer pussy quick as lightning

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"#1 Chuck and Bruce used to spar and train together, so the only person who could actually give you a true valid opinion on who would win, is Chuck and he's too much of a gent to say.

#2 Bruce's back was totally fucked, he was on serious medication just to be able to move, it was a reaction between his regular meds and painkillers that caused the brain swelling that killed him.

#3 Chucks happy as Larry and got a BJJ black belt to add to his collection, as we all know a BJJ blue belt can take out black belts from all other styles except Chuck Kuk Do.

Bruce was still better & quicker

Nah, he was better at wailing like a cat though, proving him a pussy

A killer pussy quick as lightning

Nah

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"#1 Chuck and Bruce used to spar and train together, so the only person who could actually give you a true valid opinion on who would win, is Chuck and he's too much of a gent to say.

#2 Bruce's back was totally fucked, he was on serious medication just to be able to move, it was a reaction between his regular meds and painkillers that caused the brain swelling that killed him.

#3 Chucks happy as Larry and got a BJJ black belt to add to his collection, as we all know a BJJ blue belt can take out black belts from all other styles except Chuck Kuk Do.

Bruce was still better & quicker

Nah, he was better at wailing like a cat though, proving him a pussy

A killer pussy quick as lightning

Nah

Oh yes

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *reman6976Man over a year ago

Deeping St James

He'll sort out this mess!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rnortholtMan over a year ago

Travelling

Chuck says: "ENOUGH!"

and nobody tells him off for using caps, 'cos he was whispering.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"#1 Chuck and Bruce used to spar and train together, so the only person who could actually give you a true valid opinion on who would win, is Chuck and he's too much of a gent to say.

#2 Bruce's back was totally fucked, he was on serious medication just to be able to move, it was a reaction between his regular meds and painkillers that caused the brain swelling that killed him.

#3 Chucks happy as Larry and got a BJJ black belt to add to his collection, as we all know a BJJ blue belt can take out black belts from all other styles except Chuck Kuk Do.

Bruce was still better & quicker

Nah, he was better at wailing like a cat though, proving him a pussy

A killer pussy quick as lightning

Nah

Oh yes

Just a pussy .....

What's Bruce Lee's favourite drink? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAATA!

See Bruce Lee don't even get funny jokes!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"#1 Chuck and Bruce used to spar and train together, so the only person who could actually give you a true valid opinion on who would win, is Chuck and he's too much of a gent to say.

#2 Bruce's back was totally fucked, he was on serious medication just to be able to move, it was a reaction between his regular meds and painkillers that caused the brain swelling that killed him.

#3 Chucks happy as Larry and got a BJJ black belt to add to his collection, as we all know a BJJ blue belt can take out black belts from all other styles except Chuck Kuk Do.

Bruce was still better & quicker

Nah, he was better at wailing like a cat though, proving him a pussy

A killer pussy quick as lightning

Nah

Oh yes

Just a pussy .....

What's Bruce Lee's favourite drink? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAATA!

See Bruce Lee don't even get funny jokes!

He's still a legend the best of all time ,never to be beaten

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris once got into a knife fight, the knife lost!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

Modern tank designs are based on Chuck Norris' left bicep.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't ring the wrong number,you answer the wrong phone

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

Chuck Norris can punch you in the feelings

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

"#1 Chuck and Bruce used to spar and train together, so the only person who could actually give you a true valid opinion on who would win, is Chuck and he's too much of a gent to say.

#2 Bruce's back was totally fucked, he was on serious medication just to be able to move, it was a reaction between his regular meds and painkillers that caused the brain swelling that killed him.

#3 Chucks happy as Larry and got a BJJ black belt to add to his collection, as we all know a BJJ blue belt can take out black belts from all other styles except Chuck Kuk Do.

Bruce was still better & quicker

Nah, he was better at wailing like a cat though, proving him a pussy

A killer pussy quick as lightning

Nah

Oh yes

Just a pussy .....

What's Bruce Lee's favourite drink? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAATA!

See Bruce Lee don't even get funny jokes!

Now that was funny

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris invented the giraffe when he gave a horse an uppercut

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups he pushes the world down

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Kids check under their beds for the boogie man,

The boogie mans. Checks under his bed for chuck noris

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris can nail diarrhoea to a wall

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"#1 Chuck and Bruce used to spar and train together, so the only person who could actually give you a true valid opinion on who would win, is Chuck and he's too much of a gent to say.

#2 Bruce's back was totally fucked, he was on serious medication just to be able to move, it was a reaction between his regular meds and painkillers that caused the brain swelling that killed him.

#3 Chucks happy as Larry and got a BJJ black belt to add to his collection, as we all know a BJJ blue belt can take out black belts from all other styles except Chuck Kuk Do.

Bruce was still better & quicker

Nah, he was better at wailing like a cat though, proving him a pussy

A killer pussy quick as lightning

Nah

Oh yes

Just a pussy .....

What's Bruce Lee's favourite drink? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAATA!

See Bruce Lee don't even get funny jokes!

He's still a legend the best of all time ,never to be beaten

Except by weight lifting, pain killers and that chap who beat him up ......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Who is Chuck Norris ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris can hit 11 out of 10 targets with 8 shots

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When Chuck Norris was born,he drove himself and his mother home from the hospital

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hoenixAdAstraWoman over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird

I named my lizard, Chuck.

She has the same cool killer death stare!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris can play Beethoven's 5th symphony on a tambourine

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Who is Chuck Norris ?"

Sweat fucking Jesus

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck norris got beat off bruce lee in way of the dragon....bruce rocks....fuck chuck

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Chuck norris got beat off bruce lee in way of the dragon....bruce rocks....fuck chuck"

Fantasy film ...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Chuck norris got beat off bruce lee in way of the dragon....bruce rocks....fuck chuck

Fantasy film ... "

Iv just had a wank over a chuck norris picture

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Chuck norris got beat off bruce lee in way of the dragon....bruce rocks....fuck chuck"

Or do you mean Bruce beat off chuck ? Gaaaaaaaaaay

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Chuck norris got beat off bruce lee in way of the dragon....bruce rocks....fuck chuck

Fantasy film ...

Iv just had a wank over a chuck norris picture"

Clearly sir is fabstraight

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hoenixAdAstraWoman over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"Chuck norris got beat off bruce lee in way of the dragon....bruce rocks....fuck chuck

Fantasy film ...

Iv just had a wank over a chuck norris picture"

Watch out, he'll come make you clean up

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Chuck norris got beat off bruce lee in way of the dragon....bruce rocks....fuck chuck

Fantasy film ...

Iv just had a wank over a chuck norris picture

Clearly sir is fabstraight "

Ok you win

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Chuck norris got beat off bruce lee in way of the dragon....bruce rocks....fuck chuck

Fantasy film ...

Iv just had a wank over a chuck norris picture

Clearly sir is fabstraight

Ok you win

Careful Chuck doesn't cum over you.

When Chuck Norris jerks off, he blasts a new hole in the ozone layer.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who is Chuck Norris ?

Sweat fucking Jesus

He's the sweat of fucking Jesus?

Wow.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

R.I.P Chuck norris

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"R.I.P Chuck norris"

Chuck Norris cannot die

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eeky goodnessMan over a year ago

Worcester

Chuck Norris once got bit by a king cobra and after a 3 days of fighting the venom the cobra died

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *HaRiFMan over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

Chuck Norris once fought superman. The loser had to wear his underpants on the outside.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *DontExistWoman over a year ago

•+• Silicon valley. •+•

"Chuck Norris once fought superman. The loser had to wear his underpants on the outside."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris can cut through a knife with butter

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When learning CPR at school,Chuck Norris brought the dummy back to life

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his lounge. It isn't dead, just too scared to move

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris won the World Poker Series with Uno cards

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *allyandJonCouple over a year ago

manchester

Chuck Norris for President.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris won the World Poker Series with Uno cards

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When Chuck slices onions, the onions cry

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

chuck norris was up for the lead part of "jack bauer" in the series 24.......

but the casting plans by the producers had to be changed when solved the case and killed all the bad guys in 1hr 12 mins......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't cut his grass. He just sits on the porch and dares it to grow.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris is so cool he can drink boiling water and piss ice cubes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

God wanted to create the world in ten days but Chuck Norris only gave him seven

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris once swallowed a Rubix cube.When he shit it out,it was solved

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

Can't work out if the OP is very funny or bonkers?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris once crossed the road...no one has ever questioned his motives.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Can't work out if the OP is very funny or bonkers?

Ask Chuck Norris, he knows

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The Large Hadron Collider was based on a Chuck Norris Roundhouse kick...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

There was finally a WMD in Iraq when Chuck Norris visited the troops.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"Can't work out if the OP is very funny or bonkers?

Ask Chuck Norris, he knows "

How could he not?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris is so tough Bruce Lee fucked him up

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris knows the air-speed velocity of all unladen swallows

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff AND the deputy.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Chuck Norris is so tough Bruce Lee fucked him up

Who's still alive

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris is "He Who Must Not Be Named" Not Voldemort!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris' dick is so big it has its own dick, and chuck norris' dicks dick is bigger than your dick

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rMrs CumalotCouple over a year ago

East Mids

Chuck Norris is the only one that can punch a cyclops in between the eye

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Only two things can cut diamond, diamond and Chuck Norris's nipples.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck who?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eeky goodnessMan over a year ago

Worcester

Did you know I don't know if it still works but if you put where is chuck Norris I'm Google it used to come up with you don't find chuck Norris he finds you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

When Chuck Norris stares at you, his eyes roundhouse kick your soul.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his mother did and built the hospital he was born in

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *vbride1963TV/TS over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

Time waits for no man unless that man is Chuck Norris .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/09/17 21:04:57]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag

He wouldn't fit in one that's why

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack,as his heart isn't stupid enough to attack him

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag

He wouldn't fit in one that's why

Because he's scared of the dark

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone,he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag

He wouldn't fit in one that's why

Because he's scared of the dark

Nah, the darks scared of Chuck Norris.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *homasP80Man over a year ago

Linwood

When chuck Norris does press-up he's actually pushing the world down.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

When Chuck Norris gets abducted by aliens HE does the anal probing.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The reason Superman changes outfits so fast in the phone booth is because Chuck Norris needed to make a call.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

When you type in Chuck Norris in Google and click "I'm feeling lucky", Chuck Norris kills you anyway since nobody gets lucky when Chuck Norris is involved.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman over a year ago

stourbridge area

Who ??

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Who ??"

Just type where's chuck Norris in google

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/09/17 09:46:18]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"People Are often Quick to point out that Chuck Norris lost to Bruce Lee in the movie "Way of the Dragon" What they fail to realize is that Bruce Lee Died not long after that movie was made under "Mysterious Circumstances" and after that Chuck started doing more realistic movies where he never loses.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When Chuck Norris does push ups. He doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you have £10 and Chuck Norris has £10,Chuck Norris has more money than you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris invented the Cesarean Section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris can speak Braille

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

when the avengers can't beat their enemy, they call chuck norris.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

with one round house kick chuck norris can stop global warming

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

Delta Force is one of my faves

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When Chuck Norris does push ups. He doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down."

How many press ups can Chuck do?

All of them

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/09/17 12:33:14]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light on,he turns the dark off

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/09/17 12:35:33]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/09/17 12:39:13]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck once upper cut a horse, now we have giraffes

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a lemon

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's chuck chucked

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

if you say chuck norris three times in the mirror, he will appear and round house kick you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't read books.He stares them down until they give him the information that he wants

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)