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What is wrong with people?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I changed my profile text in order to put off as many people as possible, yet I'm still getting messages!
The ones that amuse me the most start "I know you won't even read this. .." so why bother?
What's a girl have to do to make it stop?! Help please. I'm at my wits end.
Disclaimer: no actual words from actual messages have been used in the remaking of the above sentence.
All similarities to real life situations and people are purely coincidental.
Serious suggestions only please. And please stick to the subject.
You are not allowed to say anything that I disagree with.
Any suggestions made will be disregarded and I'll come up with reasons why I can't.
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just use your filters to prevent any undesirables,which by the sounds of it is everybody, from contacting you. Simple really. "
I can't use my filters. They're set so that Mr right can still contact me if he ever stumbles across my profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I changed my profile text in order to put off as many people as possible, yet I'm still getting messages!
The ones that amuse me the most start "I know you won't even read this. .." so why bother?
What's a girl have to do to make it stop?! Help please. I'm at my wits end.
Disclaimer: no actual words from actual messages have been used in the remaking of the above sentence.
All similarities to real life situations and people are purely coincidental.
Serious suggestions only please. And please stick to the subject.
You are not allowed to say anything that I disagree with.
Any suggestions made will be disregarded and I'll come up with reasons why I can't.
"
Oh the pressures of being a sexy single lady in the world of fab! You have our sympathies xx  |
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"I changed my profile text in order to put off as many people as possible, yet I'm still getting messages!
The ones that amuse me the most start "I know you won't even read this. .." so why bother?
What's a girl have to do to make it stop?! Help please. I'm at my wits end.
Disclaimer: no actual words from actual messages have been used in the remaking of the above sentence.
All similarities to real life situations and people are purely coincidental.
Serious suggestions only please. And please stick to the subject.
You are not allowed to say anything that I disagree with.
Any suggestions made will be disregarded and I'll come up with reasons why I can't.
Oh the pressures of being a sexy single lady in the world of fab! You have our sympathies xx "
We honestly feel that there would be no pressure or friction if everyone on here showed the good manners to read and respect profiles. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just read your profile... And spat my tea out laughing.
Thank God it's not lunch time or it would have been gin!
"
Sorry for your loss of tea. I'm glad it wasn't gin. I would have felt too guilty.  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"It's probably because you've got a foof. And an okish arse.
So you think I should remove them? "
No, 'cause what will I perv on occasionally? I'm in two minds - hiding them will stop messages but you might miss out on someone great. |
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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
make a new profile, set the age you're looking for to 99 while making it. nobody will message you at all.
seriously, i have had 0 messages from anyone coz i have to send out messages first for them to be able to message me. it's lovely. |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"I changed my profile text in order to put off as many people as possible, yet I'm still getting messages!
The ones that amuse me the most start "I know you won't even read this. .." so why bother?
What's a girl have to do to make it stop?! Help please. I'm at my wits end.
Disclaimer: no actual words from actual messages have been used in the remaking of the above sentence.
All similarities to real life situations and people are purely coincidental.
Serious suggestions only please. And please stick to the subject.
You are not allowed to say anything that I disagree with.
Any suggestions made will be disregarded and I'll come up with reasons why I can't.
"
Hide your tits!
They are like a magnet! |
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"Just read your profile... And spat my tea out laughing.
Thank God it's not lunch time or it would have been gin!
Sorry for your loss of tea. I'm glad it wasn't gin. I would have felt too guilty. "
It would have been a tragedy right!?
|
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"Get an electric zapper on your inbox, that'll see them off
Where do I get one please? Do I need an electrician to wire it in? "
You do, however; you need to sift through the ones who pretend to be a sparky just to get their dinky dunked. It's like running the gauntlet I tell thee |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Get an electric zapper on your inbox, that'll see them off "
Good idea to wire up the outbox as well, just in case any men try the "ooops, wrong box" excuse |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hide your photos.
My Dr said I have to publicly display my arse. And boobs. And foof. well that's a nice change from a prescription for antibiotics  "
I can't understand why he's currently facing sexual harassment charges. .. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's a beautiful profile.
Just tell them all to feck off
I'm no good at swears. Will you do it for me please? 
I'll do anything for you when you flutter your lashes "
I've just made that note on your profile  |
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By *pidernickMan
over a year ago
Locks Heath (Fareham borough) |
"I changed my profile text in order to put off as many people as possible, yet I'm still getting messages!
The ones that amuse me the most start "I know you won't even read this. .." so why bother?
What's a girl have to do to make it stop?! Help please. I'm at my wits end.
Disclaimer: no actual words from actual messages have been used in the remaking of the above sentence.
All similarities to real life situations and people are purely coincidental.
Serious suggestions only please. And please stick to the subject.
You are not allowed to say anything that I disagree with.
Any suggestions made will be disregarded and I'll come up with reasons why I can't.
"
Hi,
I sent you a message as your profile was so interesting and I liked the fact that you seem to be good fun and don't take yourself seriously (as well as being one sexy lady!). I see that you've read but haven't deleted my message, so hopefully no serious faux pas from me! 
Nick |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's exactly the kind of portfolio we find irresistible and those shoes 
Unfortunately unless the bisexual fairy gets into your consciousness we wouldn't waste your time by messaging you.
Oh.... almost forgot, happy swinging |
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"It's a beautiful profile.
Just tell them all to feck off
I'm no good at swears. Will you do it for me please?
I'll do anything for you when you flutter your lashes
I've just made that note on your profile "
Oh |
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"It's exactly the kind of portfolio we find irresistible and those shoes
Unfortunately unless the bisexual fairy gets into your consciousness we wouldn't waste your time by messaging you.
Oh.... almost forgot, happy swinging "
How do you like my new profile text? I think it's spot on. I must be honest, I've been getting less messages about my vag and more about the dentist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just use your filters to prevent any undesirables,which by the sounds of it is everybody, from contacting you. Simple really.
I can't use my filters. They're set so that Mr right can still contact me if he ever stumbles across my profile. "
Well in that case you're fucked. Try a very off putting headline, something like "I'm here solely to live out my fantasy of biting a cock clean off" that ought to slow down your in box x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I changed my profile text in order to put off as many people as possible, yet I'm still getting messages!
The ones that amuse me the most start "I know you won't even read this. .." so why bother?
What's a girl have to do to make it stop?! Help please. I'm at my wits end.
Disclaimer: no actual words from actual messages have been used in the remaking of the above sentence.
All similarities to real life situations and people are purely coincidental.
Serious suggestions only please. And please stick to the subject.
You are not allowed to say anything that I disagree with.
Any suggestions made will be disregarded and I'll come up with reasons why I can't.
Hi,
I sent you a message as your profile was so interesting and I liked the fact that you seem to be good fun and don't take yourself seriously (as well as being one sexy lady!). I see that you've read but haven't deleted my message, so hopefully no serious faux pas from me!
Nick "
Ah thank you for your message. ..you obviously didn't pick up on my laziness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you'd have most guys by the end of the first line.
Translated to guy code, it says: "If you can't get a meet with anybody else, I'm right here, low expectations akimbo, and I know you'd fuck mud if it wore a bit of lippy."
If you want to put them off, go the other way. Be arrogant and a spoiled princess who has the highest of expectations. You might get a few who have to tell you how awfully horrid you are but it'll be fewer than the knuckle-draggers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not sure what you've put in your profile that would put any guy off
I personally would love to meet an over-weight lazy middle-aged woman to have sex with. I love to be on top so you'll probably sleep whilst I'm shagging you. And if I paint my cock with chocolate and convince you it's a king size (well ok a fun size) mars bar. I'll take my chances that you won't bite it.
And I'd love to use your big boobs as pillows for when I fall asleep during sex.
If you really don't want to have guys messaging you put them off by putting daily status that you're on your period and you're a moody bitch. But thinking about how het you'll get lots of submissive wimps offering to be your sanitary towel and let you take your mood out on them.
I hope you have space for Mr Right's unicorn which he'll be riding when he comes to visit you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's exactly the kind of portfolio we find irresistible and those shoes
Unfortunately unless the bisexual fairy gets into your consciousness we wouldn't waste your time by messaging you.
Oh.... almost forgot, happy swinging
How do you like my new profile text? I think it's spot on. I must be honest, I've been getting less messages about my vag and more about the dentist. "
I'd put you down as quirky...
The texts a Bit to long for my concentration levels, we'd still take a punt on you cause we only want to use you for your body which looks to be in good order and we're totally desperate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Howsabout deliberately making your profile sound like a fella pretending to be a lady?(Admittedly, this will not put off those fab-straight gentleman that are as persistent in their pursuit of men as much as the ladies).
Or maybe state that you will only ever reply to the gentleman that has fought off the other wannabe suitors in a duel to the death in the Fabberdome! (Kinda like Thunderdome, but with Shibari harnesses instead of bunjees, and ginormous oversized sex toys instead of standard weapons scattered around... Or I could possibly just be letting my sleep deprivation and excess caffeine affect my slightly overworked brain this morning... in which case, apologies and please ignore the above...  |
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so i just checked out your profile and i have to say it blew me away, you are almost perfect for me and i was about to send you a message, but unfortunately you only have 2 boobs and i'm really looking for at least 3 in a woman. so close, and i am your mr right as well. so sorry but i refuse to message you. good luck in stopping everyone else though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Howsabout deliberately making your profile sound like a fella pretending to be a lady?(Admittedly, this will not put off those fab-straight gentleman that are as persistent in their pursuit of men as much as the ladies).
Or maybe state that you will only ever reply to the gentleman that has fought off the other wannabe suitors in a duel to the death in the Fabberdome! (Kinda like Thunderdome, but with Shibari harnesses instead of bunjees, and ginormous oversized sex toys instead of standard weapons scattered around... Or I could possibly just be letting my sleep deprivation and excess caffeine affect my slightly overworked brain this morning... in which case, apologies and please ignore the above... "
You've been giving that some thought |
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"Howsabout deliberately making your profile sound like a fella pretending to be a lady?(Admittedly, this will not put off those fab-straight gentleman that are as persistent in their pursuit of men as much as the ladies).
Or maybe state that you will only ever reply to the gentleman that has fought off the other wannabe suitors in a duel to the death in the Fabberdome! (Kinda like Thunderdome, but with Shibari harnesses instead of bunjees, and ginormous oversized sex toys instead of standard weapons scattered around... Or I could possibly just be letting my sleep deprivation and excess caffeine affect my slightly overworked brain this morning... in which case, apologies and please ignore the above...
You've been giving that some thought "
I think someone forgot this was the lounge and not the fantasy section |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Howsabout deliberately making your profile sound like a fella pretending to be a lady?(Admittedly, this will not put off those fab-straight gentleman that are as persistent in their pursuit of men as much as the ladies).
Or maybe state that you will only ever reply to the gentleman that has fought off the other wannabe suitors in a duel to the death in the Fabberdome! (Kinda like Thunderdome, but with Shibari harnesses instead of bunjees, and ginormous oversized sex toys instead of standard weapons scattered around... Or I could possibly just be letting my sleep deprivation and excess caffeine affect my slightly overworked brain this morning... in which case, apologies and please ignore the above... "
I like that you've put so much effort in. I'm going to carefully consider your suggestions. Thank you. |
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"It's exactly the kind of portfolio we find irresistible and those shoes
Unfortunately unless the bisexual fairy gets into your consciousness we wouldn't waste your time by messaging you.
Oh.... almost forgot, happy swinging
How do you like my new profile text? I think it's spot on. I must be honest, I've been getting less messages about my vag and more about the dentist. "
sorry i find your tone confusing in your profile, you just describe yourself as 99% of women on earth
plus i like the dentist, i get a sticker everytime i visit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Howsabout deliberately making your profile sound like a fella pretending to be a lady?(Admittedly, this will not put off those fab-straight gentleman that are as persistent in their pursuit of men as much as the ladies).
Or maybe state that you will only ever reply to the gentleman that has fought off the other wannabe suitors in a duel to the death in the Fabberdome! (Kinda like Thunderdome, but with Shibari harnesses instead of bunjees, and ginormous oversized sex toys instead of standard weapons scattered around... Or I could possibly just be letting my sleep deprivation and excess caffeine affect my slightly overworked brain this morning... in which case, apologies and please ignore the above...
You've been giving that some thought "
Ummm... alas, that all just kinda typed itself!! Says a lot about my current state of mind methinks!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Howsabout deliberately making your profile sound like a fella pretending to be a lady?(Admittedly, this will not put off those fab-straight gentleman that are as persistent in their pursuit of men as much as the ladies).
Or maybe state that you will only ever reply to the gentleman that has fought off the other wannabe suitors in a duel to the death in the Fabberdome! (Kinda like Thunderdome, but with Shibari harnesses instead of bunjees, and ginormous oversized sex toys instead of standard weapons scattered around... Or I could possibly just be letting my sleep deprivation and excess caffeine affect my slightly overworked brain this morning... in which case, apologies and please ignore the above...
I like that you've put so much effort in. I'm going to carefully consider your suggestions. Thank you. "
If a post's worth typing, it's worth typing well! My pleasure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Step 1. Change profile text to say guarenteed to reply to all messages from new contacts.
Step 2. Use filters to block all messages from new contacts.
Step 3. Watch forum for complaints about you.  |
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"Delete your profile
I can't work out how to do it. I've tried clicking on delete profile but that doesn't work.  "
Well you're just going to have to put up with receiving message's I'm afraid,so stop your moaning  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just frequent the forums more, people start to ignore you and then you get less mail. I'm on around 2 a day. It's bliss."
I'm finding that too. I thought by joining in with the community and replying to posts and even start new threads that I'd get a lot of attention. But it seems it has the reverse effect that I was looking for.
I may need to take off the filters that prevent men from winking or messaging me trying to convince me to become bi as apparently that's what I need but don't know it.
Or I could just post pics of naked women on my profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I changed my profile text in order to put off as many people as possible, yet I'm still getting messages!
The ones that amuse me the most start "I know you won't even read this. .." so why bother?
What's a girl have to do to make it stop?! Help please. I'm at my wits end.
Disclaimer: no actual words from actual messages have been used in the remaking of the above sentence.
All similarities to real life situations and people are purely coincidental.
Serious suggestions only please. And please stick to the subject.
You are not allowed to say anything that I disagree with.
Any suggestions made will be disregarded and I'll come up with reasons why I can't.
"
Why mess on like that? Hide your profile. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I changed my profile text in order to put off as many people as possible, yet I'm still getting messages!
The ones that amuse me the most start "I know you won't even read this. .." so why bother?
What's a girl have to do to make it stop?! Help please. I'm at my wits end.
Disclaimer: no actual words from actual messages have been used in the remaking of the above sentence.
All similarities to real life situations and people are purely coincidental.
Serious suggestions only please. And please stick to the subject.
You are not allowed to say anything that I disagree with.
Any suggestions made will be disregarded and I'll come up with reasons why I can't.
Why mess on like that? Hide your profile. "
Top advice. Thanks |
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"Just another 'everyone look at me' thread..... . 
Yep. Is that bothering you? "
Only because lots have taken you seriously instead of seeing the sarcastic look at me please I need attention tone...... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just another 'everyone look at me' thread..... .
Yep. Is that bothering you?
Only because lots have taken you seriously instead of seeing the sarcastic look at me please I need attention tone...... "
I'm not sure why that would bother you but I really don't see that it's my fault if people have taken it seriously |
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"Just another 'everyone look at me' thread..... .
Yep. Is that bothering you?
Only because lots have taken you seriously instead of seeing the sarcastic look at me please I need attention tone......
I'm not sure why that would bother you but I really don't see that it's my fault if people have taken it seriously "
This site is a swinging site yet is being used like....book.
If you open a conversation on the forum surely you expect feedback....
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just another 'everyone look at me' thread..... .
Yep. Is that bothering you?
Only because lots have taken you seriously instead of seeing the sarcastic look at me please I need attention tone......
I'm not sure why that would bother you but I really don't see that it's my fault if people have taken it seriously
This site is a swinging site yet is being used like....book.
If you open a conversation on the forum surely you expect feedback....
"
Again,I Don't see that it's my problem. I don't recall getting any feedback from you regarding the op but thanks for your input anyway
(Ps for those of you that saw the"thumbs up" thread, that was an arrogant thumbs up ) |
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"Just another 'everyone look at me' thread..... .
Yep. Is that bothering you?
Only because lots have taken you seriously instead of seeing the sarcastic look at me please I need attention tone......
I'm not sure why that would bother you but I really don't see that it's my fault if people have taken it seriously
This site is a swinging site yet is being used like....book.
If you open a conversation on the forum surely you expect feedback....
Again,I Don't see that it's my problem. I don't recall getting any feedback from you regarding the op but thanks for your input anyway
(Ps for those of you that saw the"thumbs up" thread, that was an arrogant thumbs up )"
Nothing more than I would expect.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We're all here for attention. Pictures on show etc. So fair play to op if she's getting more then normal. "
Most took it in the humour in which it was intended. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We're all here for attention. Pictures on show etc. So fair play to op if she's getting more then normal.
Most took it in the humour in which it was intended.
You installed the zapper yet?"
There's never an electrician around when you want one  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's probably because you've got a foof. And an okish arse.
So you think I should remove them? "
Really lovely arse to be fair. Wish mine was that lovely.
Yeah pics are the main thing guys look at. You could say you're riddled with STDs in your profile and still get messages. Most won't read it |
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