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The crap joke thread
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By *illnat OP Man
over a year ago
wherever i need to be |
Just for a laugh post your worst here;
Four nuns are in line to go into heaven. God asks the first nun if she has ever sinned. She says, "Well, I've seen a penis." So God puts holy water on her eyes and lets her enter. He asks the second nun the same thing and she says, "I've held a penis," so he puts holy water on her hands and lets her enter. Then the fourth nun skips the third nun in line and God asks why she did that. The 4th nun replies, "Well, I need to gargle it before she sits in it." |
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I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I tried a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
Then I tried a lead whistle, but it steel wooden lead me whistle.
Eventually I got hold of a tin whistle, and now I can whistle.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After fighting some crime, Superman wanted to score some action. He flew over to Wonder Woman's apartment to see if she was available. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Woman naked on the bed with her legs wide open. Superman thought to himself, "I'm faster than a speeding bullet; I could be in there, have sex, and be out again before she knew what happened." So Superman did his super thing in a split second and flew off happily. Meanwhile back on the bed, Wonder Woman asked, "Did you hear something?" "No!" said the Invisible Man, "But my ass sure hurts like hell!" |
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By *illnat OP Man
over a year ago
wherever i need to be |
A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He said, "Explain the kids!!!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A guy goes to be shown round a durex factory for a job interview .. he sees in the first week a guy alone with a durex .. then went to another room with a male and female vigorously have sex then another room an orgy .. a week later the guy gets the job and is taken to a room with a durex on the table .. a bit miffed the guy sighs.. the boss said .. well the first week you have to work a week in hand  |
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There are some great one's just popped up from the fringe festival.
I am not a fan of the new pound coin,
But then I have never liked change.
The inventor of the umbrella was going to call it a brella but he hesitated.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you call a Mexican dwarf?
A paragraph, cause he's too short to be an essay "
What did the Mexican say when his homework blew out the window?
Hey where you go essay |
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By *hechapMan
over a year ago
Derry |
Had a date at 8pm with a lovely paraplegic girl.
She then rang to say she couldnt make it as she was running late.
I thought it was a very lame excuse.
So i just went to the bar & got legless.
Good for the goose - good for the gander.
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By *illnat OP Man
over a year ago
wherever i need to be |
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Two pregnant Irish women knitting... one says to the other. "I'm hoping for a girl, I'm knitting pink. What are you hoping for?" Other replies... " a spastic I've fucked the arms up" haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So, this morning I had to go to the sperm bank to donate.
The nurse asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup.
Now, I know I'm good at it but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet. |
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"I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I tried a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
Then I tried a lead whistle, but it steel wooden lead me whistle.
Eventually I got hold of a tin whistle, and now I can whistle.
"
Hello you  |
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By *hechapMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"So, this morning I had to go to the sperm bank to donate.
The nurse asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup.
Now, I know I'm good at it but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet."
Thats hilarious.
You should go for it.
Just give it your best shot.
Make sure to arrive on time as you get disqualified for cumming late. |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"So, this morning I had to go to the sperm bank to donate.
The nurse asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup.
Now, I know I'm good at it but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet."
Haha |
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By *hechapMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"I really hate these new pound coins.....
I don't like change....
That's the third time I've read this 'joke' on here 
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
.
.
.
.
.
.
fsh "
Yes those pound coin jokes are going round |
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