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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've been pondering the word love. More specifically though the point between like and love.
You see so many threads asking about love - 'he says he's in love with me', 'could I be in love with him?' Etc
Does anyone know exactly when they are 'in love'? There must be a point where you like someone but like isn't strong enough but love is a big scary word that you aren't sure about.
So is there a way to describe the stage between like and love or even between love and being in love.
As always, Google has been consulted and the idea of 'pre-love' has been suggested. While it's a pants term, the description is actually quite good - if a little bit worrying.
'In fact, being in pre-love works its magic on us at a physiological level. As Valerie Frankel wrote on Oprah, the feeling of being about to fall in love is marked by a curious set of symptoms including "involuntary preoccupation, mood swings, emotional sensitivity [and] enhanced sensual awareness.' 
So does pre-love work as a term or can you suggest something better? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I rather like the term "falling in love ", it's that stage you know you like them more than just the lust or friendship stage but not quite ready to say I love you. As for love and being in love, well I love my children and friends but that's different to being in love with mr. Being in love is opening myself up to be vulnerable to being hurt. Loving my children makes me feel protective x |
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"I rather like the term "falling in love ", it's that stage you know you like them more than just the lust or friendship stage but not quite ready to say I love you. As for love and being in love, well I love my children and friends but that's different to being in love with mr. Being in love is opening myself up to be vulnerable to being hurt. Loving my children makes me feel protective x "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For those who seek love I'm sure they recognise it at a personal level when it strikes...for want of a better description.
But if that love grows over an extended period friends first then maybe lovers and beyond...
Or if it hits like the thunderclap..in that one instant where you are totally at lost..
Then does it matter how it develops or just that it does.
Is the concept of pre love simply an attempt to put into another definable measurable box something which defies logic measurement calculation or control. Indeed isn't the concept of love transcending all something beyond measure.
And is our sometime fear of it simply because it's beyond our control we don't know if or when it will strike but we know it changes our lives in so many ways...but only if someone loves you back.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I guess finding a term is a way of tryout by to understand feelings that may be confusing or have never been encountered before but I agree it is a complex area where the head is not necessarily the best place to make the decision |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I guess finding a term is a way of tryout by to understand feelings that may be confusing or have never been encountered before but I agree it is a complex area where the head is not necessarily the best place to make the decision "
Trying to rationalise love is something that can't be achieved, we've all been in the position of thinking we were in love and it ended and finding a new love and realising that what you thought was love wasn't. Your heart rules when you're in love so while your head can recognise the signs something deeper takes over. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I guess finding a term is a way of tryout by to understand feelings that may be confusing or have never been encountered before but I agree it is a complex area where the head is not necessarily the best place to make the decision
Trying to rationalise love is something that can't be achieved, we've all been in the position of thinking we were in love and it ended and finding a new love and realising that what you thought was love wasn't. Your heart rules when you're in love so while your head can recognise the signs something deeper takes over. X "
I like that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I guess finding a term is a way of tryout by to understand feelings that may be confusing or have never been encountered before but I agree it is a complex area where the head is not necessarily the best place to make the decision "
Too much data
Too little data
Overanalysing overthinking ...
The confusion can be endless..
I have no greater insight than anyone else here but perhaps a suggestion...
Follow you head follow your gut
and perhaps it's trying to be rational about something we feel not something we can ever analyse...there is only one way to ever know...
Follow your heart...
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I think that being in love with someone takes some time to acquire. There is no such thing as "Love at first sight" in my view. Instead, it should be described as a "strong attraction". I believe that one is in Love with someone else if leaving them is emotionally devastating and the more devastating one is reflects the level of love one has. No one wants to leave someone that they love, but very often one half of a couple have no choice.
I think it is possible to fall out of love with someone in the same way as falling in love happens and it is possible by the same token to reduce the level of love felt if something bad happens.
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"I rather like the term "falling in love ", it's that stage you know you like them more than just the lust or friendship stage but not quite ready to say I love you. As for love and being in love, well I love my children and friends but that's different to being in love with mr. Being in love is opening myself up to be vulnerable to being hurt. Loving my children makes me feel protective x "
I like the term "falling in love", it implies that you are powerless to stop it and that's exactly how it should be  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I rather like the term "falling in love ", it's that stage you know you like them more than just the lust or friendship stage but not quite ready to say I love you. As for love and being in love, well I love my children and friends but that's different to being in love with mr. Being in love is opening myself up to be vulnerable to being hurt. Loving my children makes me feel protective x
I like the term "falling in love", it implies that you are powerless to stop it and that's exactly how it should be "
Very true, it can't be rushed or stopped. It just happens x |
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