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so, he finally proposed.
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
i knew he would coz i'm pregnant, just missed me period and took the test and it was positive. the wedding is 21st september. who is coming?
brian is my imaginary boyfriend. we met this week when i got ghosted for the 50,023rd time this past year and my brain thought 'fuck this shit, might as well go live in an alternate reality that your head made up coz the real world is a bag of poo filled with pooheads' and so brian came into my life.
things i like about brian;
-he's always honest and never lies to me.
-the sex is good.
-he gives great cuddles.
-he smells divine.
-he has a nice ass, got to say i like thinking about it.
anyway ladies, i highly recommend getting a loving imaginary man. he is crap at doing odd jobs and housework but apart from that things are good. and at least i don't have to pick up after him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"he just confessed he only proposed coz he has been cheating on me and feels guilty coz of the baby.
i've dumped him and the wedding is off."
Oh bugger I was planning a reception at whitby  |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"he just confessed he only proposed coz he has been cheating on me and feels guilty coz of the baby.
i've dumped him and the wedding is off.
Oh bugger I was planning a reception at whitby "
i will take him back, i have no self esteem any more. but don't tell him, gonna let him think it's over for now. |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"Are you sure the baby is his and that you didn't get pregnant from a spirit with a strong presence ?
Like jack Daniels  "
i don't drink. and it's definitely not the baby of the guy i barebacked this month so can only be brians.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Forgive him! I was hoping to be bridesmaid 
I'll go for the maid of honour then"
Well you are planning the reception in Whitby, so that's fair... Remember you're also in charge of the hen do' |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"Ffs woman, do I have to buy a new hat or what 
yes, no, maybe. idk, i'm pregnant and can't concentrate on hats right now.
Ok, I'll concentrate on a baby shower then  "
awesome. everyone is planning my stuff for me and i never even asked.
thanks guys.
 |
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"Forgive him! I was hoping to be bridesmaid
I'll go for the maid of honour then
Well you are planning the reception in Whitby, so that's fair.."
Scarborough is the best place for a fair apparently |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Forgive him! I was hoping to be bridesmaid
I'll be best man. You know what that means xxx
You shag the maid of honour?  "
Ok just so long as I get to shag the bridesmaids....feck the best man  |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"Forgive him! I was hoping to be bridesmaid
I'll go for the maid of honour then
Well you are planning the reception in Whitby, so that's fair..
Scarborough is the best place for a fair apparently "
i'm happy with whitby. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Forgive him! I was hoping to be bridesmaid
I'll go for the maid of honour then
Well you are planning the reception in Whitby, so that's fair..
Scarborough is the best place for a fair apparently
i'm happy with whitby. "
Fair point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Forgive him! I was hoping to be bridesmaid
I'll go for the maid of honour then
Well you are planning the reception in Whitby, so that's fair..
Scarborough is the best place for a fair apparently "
Are you going..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Where is SexyBrain nowadays anyway??
Didn't he have a minI breakdown on the forums?
No more than normal I didn't think, though he was gradually getting more and more maudlin it seemed. "
Very true. It was a shame really. I liked his posts. They were a little more provoactive than most. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Forgive him! I was hoping to be bridesmaid
I'll be best man. You know what that means xxx
You shag the maid of honour?
Ok just so long as I get to shag the bridesmaids....feck the best man "
That's a given |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"idk what wedding favours are. 
Little gifts you put on tables for guests. Sugared almonds s'posed to signify good luck
The fuckers dont work"
oh. sugared almonds sounds a bit tight also. |
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"Forgive him! I was hoping to be bridesmaid
I'll go for the maid of honour then
Well you are planning the reception in Whitby, so that's fair..
Scarborough is the best place for a fair apparently
Are you going....."
If I brought parsley sage rosemary and thyme as a wedding gift, I might look a bit out of place methinks 
Maybe a Wish You Were Here card posted from Scarborough might suffice do you think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Get the will sorted.
Make sure you get everything.
Kill any relatives who could stake a claim. Don't do the killing yourself.
You'll find some sad sap on here who will do it for you,
Act upset for a few weeks, dress in black, set up some charity crap in his name.
Once that's died down go fucking mad with the billions that are now yours |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"Get the will sorted.
Make sure you get everything.
Kill any relatives who could stake a claim. Don't do the killing yourself.
You'll find some sad sap on here who will do it for you,
Act upset for a few weeks, dress in black, set up some charity crap in his name.
Once that's died down go fucking mad with the billions that are now yours "
brians money is tied up overseas, i've no idea how to access that.
will have to think of a way, it should be easy enough to do. |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"idk what wedding favours are.
It means that you get shagged by the best man while you're still wearing you're wedding dress  "
ooh yeah. i did wanna cuckold brian on our wedding night.
who is the best man, have i even got one? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"idk what wedding favours are.
It means that you get shagged by the best man while you're still wearing you're wedding dress
ooh yeah. i did wanna cuckold brian on our wedding night.
who is the best man, have i even got one?"
I'm offering xx |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"idk what wedding favours are.
It means that you get shagged by the best man while you're still wearing you're wedding dress
ooh yeah. i did wanna cuckold brian on our wedding night.
who is the best man, have i even got one?
I'm offering xx"
i need more best men, thinking of having a gb on my wedding night now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"idk what wedding favours are.
It means that you get shagged by the best man while you're still wearing you're wedding dress
ooh yeah. i did wanna cuckold brian on our wedding night.
who is the best man, have i even got one?
I'm offering xx
i need more best men, thinking of having a gb on my wedding night now."
I'm in. Although... Am I not enough? Lol xx |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"Me and my imaginary friend are not talking . She forgot my birthday 
you should dump her.
Yeah I will soon imagine another one "
definitely imagine the best you can. brian was shit until i realised i could base him on anything and not my exes. |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"idk what wedding favours are.
It means that you get shagged by the best man while you're still wearing you're wedding dress
ooh yeah. i did wanna cuckold brian on our wedding night.
who is the best man, have i even got one?
I'm offering xx
i need more best men, thinking of having a gb on my wedding night now.
I'm in. Although... Am I not enough? Lol xx"
no, i'm the 3sum queen, need at least 2 guys already.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Me and my imaginary friend are not talking . She forgot my birthday
you should dump her.
Yeah I will soon imagine another one
definitely imagine the best you can. brian was shit until i realised i could base him on anything and not my exes. "
I might imagine 3 and treat myself to a fffm  |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"Me and my imaginary friend are not talking . She forgot my birthday
you should dump her.
Yeah I will soon imagine another one
definitely imagine the best you can. brian was shit until i realised i could base him on anything and not my exes.
I might imagine 3 and treat myself to a fffm "
that's the spirit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"idk what wedding favours are.
It means that you get shagged by the best man while you're still wearing you're wedding dress
ooh yeah. i did wanna cuckold brian on our wedding night.
who is the best man, have i even got one?
I'm offering xx
i need more best men, thinking of having a gb on my wedding night now.
I'm in. Although... Am I not enough? Lol xx
no, i'm the 3sum queen, need at least 2 guys already. "
Ok 2 I can handle xx |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"idk what wedding favours are.
It means that you get shagged by the best man while you're still wearing you're wedding dress
ooh yeah. i did wanna cuckold brian on our wedding night.
who is the best man, have i even got one?
I'm offering xx
i need more best men, thinking of having a gb on my wedding night now.
I'm in. Although... Am I not enough? Lol xx
no, i'm the 3sum queen, need at least 2 guys already.
Ok 2 I can handle xx"
might still be a gangbang yet. i'll see who turns up.
best go and get some sleep, brian went to bed ages ago (well he's on the sofa tonight). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"idk what wedding favours are.
It means that you get shagged by the best man while you're still wearing you're wedding dress
ooh yeah. i did wanna cuckold brian on our wedding night.
who is the best man, have i even got one?
I'm offering xx
i need more best men, thinking of having a gb on my wedding night now.
I'm in. Although... Am I not enough? Lol xx
no, i'm the 3sum queen, need at least 2 guys already.
Ok 2 I can handle xx
might still be a gangbang yet. i'll see who turns up.
best go and get some sleep, brian went to bed ages ago (well he's on the sofa tonight)."
I'll take his place in bed then xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't invite any northerners. They're weird and smell.
So glad I'm a southerner lol xx
You're Welsh
That's south! "
Of course it's South lol. It's hardly north haha xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't invite any northerners. They're weird and smell.
So glad I'm a southerner lol xx
You're Welsh
That's south!
Unless it's North Wales of course "
Oh god no, definitely not xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't invite any northerners. They're weird and smell.
So glad I'm a southerner lol xx
You're Welsh
That's south! "
Nope, it's Wales. Completely different to the south
It's all good though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't invite any northerners. They're weird and smell.
So glad I'm a southerner lol xx
You're Welsh
That's south!
Nope, it's Wales. Completely different to the south
It's all good though "
It's the Southern UK. Didn't realise that we were no longer part of the United Kingdom. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't invite any northerners. They're weird and smell.
So glad I'm a southerner lol xx
You're Welsh
That's south!
Nope, it's Wales. Completely different to the south
It's all good though "
It's not the South of England but it's still southern in general direction lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't invite any northerners. They're weird and smell.
So glad I'm a southerner lol xx
You're Welsh
That's south!
Nope, it's Wales. Completely different to the south
It's all good though
It's the Southern UK. Didn't realise that we were no longer part of the United Kingdom. "
Wish we weren't - or at least treated like we were xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't invite any northerners. They're weird and smell.
So glad I'm a southerner lol xx
You're Welsh
That's south!
Not if you're in Cornwall "
Smart arse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Who's to know if your soul will fade at all
The one you sold to fool the world
You lost your self-esteem along the way
Seether-fake it
https://youtu.be/hulfZ9CNdXo |
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"Can you fix me up with Brian's brother, the one with the lovely personality? "
Well she said he had lots of brothers the other day when I asked her if he had any dishy brothers,she was going to have an affair behind his back with one them.
I haven't read the whole thread is the wedding on or not,I love a good wedding |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sorry to here your man has cheated on you once a cheater always a cheater they will never be loyal hope your okay my friend.
big teddy bear hug to you. "
Yeah, but at least now she has a baby on the way.
OP, what are you naming the kid? |
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"Sorry to here your man has cheated on you once a cheater always a cheater they will never be loyal hope your okay my friend.
big teddy bear hug to you.
Yeah, but at least now she has a baby on the way.
OP, what are you naming the kid? "
Exotickid |
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"he just confessed he only proposed coz he has been cheating on me and feels guilty coz of the baby.
i've dumped him and the wedding is off.
O .......
Sorry to hear that."
So am I, I was gonna buy a new hat and everything |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
you know, this topic makes me think if i really was gonna get married then the people of fab would help me with that for real.
aw, guys.
and yes i am wearing white, the baby is gonna be called ethel, brians brothers are all coming to the wedding and i won't be fucking any of them, cunt cakes are most welcome and i think i answered all questions? hope so.
thank you for the condolences but we are back together already, this is gonna be a whirlwind relationship i think.
brian is not real, he is whoever i want him to be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"you know, this topic makes me think if i really was gonna get married then the people of fab would help me with that for real.
aw, guys.
and yes i am wearing white, the baby is gonna be called ethel, brians brothers are all coming to the wedding and i won't be fucking any of them, cunt cakes are most welcome and i think i answered all questions? hope so.
thank you for the condolences but we are back together already, this is gonna be a whirlwind relationship i think.
brian is not real, he is whoever i want him to be."
What it's not for real!....I hope I get my deposit back from whitby's royal hotel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"you know, this topic makes me think if i really was gonna get married then the people of fab would help me with that for real.
aw, guys.
and yes i am wearing white, the baby is gonna be called ethel, brians brothers are all coming to the wedding and i won't be fucking any of them, cunt cakes are most welcome and i think i answered all questions? hope so.
thank you for the condolences but we are back together already, this is gonna be a whirlwind relationship i think.
brian is not real, he is whoever i want him to be."
Would he agree to a 3some? xxx |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"you know, this topic makes me think if i really was gonna get married then the people of fab would help me with that for real.
aw, guys.
and yes i am wearing white, the baby is gonna be called ethel, brians brothers are all coming to the wedding and i won't be fucking any of them, cunt cakes are most welcome and i think i answered all questions? hope so.
thank you for the condolences but we are back together already, this is gonna be a whirlwind relationship i think.
brian is not real, he is whoever i want him to be.
What it's not for real!....I hope I get my deposit back from whitby's royal hotel "
i'm still having the wedding. it will be to a suit that i do all the speaking for. not a ventriliquist act but if you ever seen the horror films where the dummy comes to life it'll be more like that. |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"you know, this topic makes me think if i really was gonna get married then the people of fab would help me with that for real.
aw, guys.
and yes i am wearing white, the baby is gonna be called ethel, brians brothers are all coming to the wedding and i won't be fucking any of them, cunt cakes are most welcome and i think i answered all questions? hope so.
thank you for the condolences but we are back together already, this is gonna be a whirlwind relationship i think.
brian is not real, he is whoever i want him to be."
 So this is not a serious thread
I thort it wos a serious thread |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"you know, this topic makes me think if i really was gonna get married then the people of fab would help me with that for real.
aw, guys.
and yes i am wearing white, the baby is gonna be called ethel, brians brothers are all coming to the wedding and i won't be fucking any of them, cunt cakes are most welcome and i think i answered all questions? hope so.
thank you for the condolences but we are back together already, this is gonna be a whirlwind relationship i think.
brian is not real, he is whoever i want him to be.
So this is not a serious thread
I thort it wos a serious thread "
not to worry. think not only you did _eeside, that's why i said that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Did you get a huge fuck-off diamond engagement ring?
most definitely.
the fact that it was 99p from china doesn't bother me either."
It's the size that counts.
|
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"We'd love you buy you an imaginary lavish gift for your wedding. What would you like? "
wow, thanks.
hmm, well i just got some real curtains for my kitchen, i'd like an imaginary plate set that matches these. the net is lined with green and the proper curtain is dark brown. actually i made the brown curtain myself, so if anyone would like to replace those with something decent haha. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did you get a huge fuck-off diamond engagement ring?
most definitely.
the fact that it was 99p from china doesn't bother me either."
That's quite expensive. He sounds loaded. |
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By *DontExist OP Woman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
"Did you get a huge fuck-off diamond engagement ring?
most definitely.
the fact that it was 99p from china doesn't bother me either.
That's quite expensive. He sounds loaded. "
he is a billionaire. i'm so lucky. |
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