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Big Fat Lie Thread
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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.... c/f from the baby I can drive your car thread....
So after I had this life saving hip replacement operation I mentioned in the other thread.... I climbed mount kilimanjaro wearing only a mink bikini with no oxygen. I bet you have never done anything like that before..... |
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i just feel so bad i dumped george cloney when i found out he only had a small cock... but i do have to thank him for introdcing me to brad and jennifer who were well into the swinger scene before they split up..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can't really see why your bikini would need oxygen. "
It didnt after the lung transplant which we carried out on the kitchen table during an episode of Casualty using only chopsticks and a rubber spatula. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So after I had this life saving hip replacement operation I mentioned in the other thread.... I climbed mount kilimanjaro wearing only a mink bikini with no oxygen. .
I know I was with you  "
Oh yeah - what was the name of that sherpa you gave a bj to? |
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"So after I had this life saving hip replacement operation I mentioned in the other thread.... I climbed mount kilimanjaro wearing only a mink bikini with no oxygen. .
I know I was with you
Oh yeah - what was the name of that sherpa you gave a bj to?"
Leyland |
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"So after I had this life saving hip replacement operation I mentioned in the other thread.... I climbed mount kilimanjaro wearing only a mink bikini with no oxygen. .
I know I was with you
Oh yeah - what was the name of that sherpa you gave a bj to?"
Fu-king  |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"I invented quavers, so i dont need to lie to 'earn' your respect
This is the big fat lie thread you need the peer approval thread next door..."
my gran had a holiday home on the moon.
it was lovely,right on the sea of tranquility.
she had to sell,when they cut the bus service.  |
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After teaching Jensen Button how to drive, I had a few crazy nights standing in for Gene Simmons when he had a sore throat. A few years later I discovered the existence of several new planets before masterminding England's emphatic Ashes series win down under.
All this whilst moonlighting as The Stig. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A Great Uncle explorer of mine found the Holy Grail in the Sudan many years ago and it's stayed in the family ever since. I now use it as a mortar to crush herbs in with a pestle when I'm cooking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No darling of course you don't need a condom and please, ensure you pleasure every other woman in the room before me... yes of course I would love you to cum in me, preferably before you go for your HIV test next week.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was nailed to a cross once and died, but it was ok cos I seemed to be able to get up again a few days later. Was pissed off though cos I was nailed to the cross on a friday and didnt get up again til Sunday, therefore missing out on a great saturday night. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No darling of course you don't need a condom and please, ensure you pleasure every other woman in the room before me... yes of course I would love you to cum in me, preferably before you go for your HIV test next week. "
You still enjoying that car I sold you?
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"I was nailed to a cross once and died, but it was ok cos I seemed to be able to get up again a few days later. Was pissed off though cos I was nailed to the cross on a friday and didnt get up again til Sunday, therefore missing out on a great saturday night."
Could you see my house from up there on that hill? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was nailed to a cross once and died, but it was ok cos I seemed to be able to get up again a few days later. Was pissed off though cos I was nailed to the cross on a friday and didnt get up again til Sunday, therefore missing out on a great saturday night."
Jesus! thats amazing! |
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"I was nailed to a cross once and died, but it was ok cos I seemed to be able to get up again a few days later. Was pissed off though cos I was nailed to the cross on a friday and didnt get up again til Sunday, therefore missing out on a great saturday night."
Have you written any more songs or just the one?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was nailed to a cross once and died, but it was ok cos I seemed to be able to get up again a few days later. Was pissed off though cos I was nailed to the cross on a friday and didnt get up again til Sunday, therefore missing out on a great saturday night.
Jesus! thats amazing!"
I knew Jesus. Top bloke. Handy to have around if you're a bit skint and you're having a party and you can only afford water. Does a great party trick too, heals people, removed my third nipple just by touching it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met this guy called Leonardo once and he was handy with a bit of car paint. He painted a pic of me with all my mates one night, I was impressed, he was a good bloke.
But then he met this woman, right miserable bitch she us, ugly as fuck, but he fancied the arse off her. Painted her too. Lost respect for him after that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I invented quavers, so i dont need to lie to 'earn' your respect
This is the big fat lie thread you need the peer approval thread next door..."
I'm aware what thread this is. I am the OP
"Are quavers higher up the scale than crotchets?
"
That all depends where they sit, they represent timing. 2 quavers = 1 crochet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had the girls round the other night for a drink: right group of munters, but I was feeling low and you know how it is. Hang around with your fat, ugly friends and your life doesn't seem so shabby.
Cheap mares as well, told them to bring a bottle, Naomi stomps in with three Stella's, had necked one in the cab: Tara brought Blue Nun, Gisele some knocked off vodka and Elle, Baby Sham!
My OH Orlando was not impressed! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I invented quavers, so i dont need to lie to 'earn' your respect
This is the big fat lie thread you need the peer approval thread next door...
I'm aware what thread this is. I am the OP
"
Yes you are Im scratching your balls as we speak  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I invented quavers, so i dont need to lie to 'earn' your respect
This is the big fat lie thread you need the peer approval thread next door...
I'm aware what thread this is. I am the OP
Yes you are Im scratching your balls as we speak "
I wasnt aware my pet gerbil had internet access?!
" To cheesy for fab mate "
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"I invented quavers, so i dont need to lie to 'earn' your respect
This is the big fat lie thread you need the peer approval thread next door...
I'm aware what thread this is. I am the OP
Yes you are Im scratching your balls as we speak
I wasnt aware my pet gerbil had internet access?!
To cheesy for fab mate
"
Yes....he's got a Rodaphone contract |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I invented quavers, so i dont need to lie to 'earn' your respect
This is the big fat lie thread you need the peer approval thread next door...
I'm aware what thread this is. I am the OP
Yes you are Im scratching your balls as we speak
I wasnt aware my pet gerbil had internet access?!
To cheesy for fab mate
"
Internet access? He is Bill Gates! Bill gates the gerbil dot com |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can knit better shreddies than Nana
Im sorry...but some things i dont believe  I can so....if you have too left feet i have the perfect pair of sox for you, knitted by my own fair hand...gonna try shredded wheat next though "
can ya do bran flakes, i likes them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes dear it's the biggest I've ever had........and I orgasmed at the mere thought of you fucking me with it. "
Well I call a spade a spade and when you called for the spade well I just had to oblige.... That was a weird noise you made when you came... it sort of sounded like the dambusters theme..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes....he's got a Rodaphone contract
Internet access? He is Bill Gates! Bill gates the gerbil dot com"
This rodent is incredible! I must employ him for my aquatic vampire nympho detective agency. I hope he knows kungfu because at present i'm the only ninja who can keep Stephen Fry away from the knowledge-o-tron |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" i just feel so bad i dumped george cloney when i found out he only had a small cock... but i do have to thank him for introdcing me to brad and jennifer who were well into the swinger scene before they split up..
"
I sold him a penis pump. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I once leapt out of an airplane over the pacific ocean, free fell for 7,000 feet then landed safely on the deck of a nuclear submarine....and it hadn't even surfaced!"
I know I saw you do it |
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I only make friends with people slower than me so I can use them as a buffer between the Zombies and myself come Z Day.
Often, when introduced to a person for the first time I challenge them to a race to determine if they are 'friend material'.
Some people think I am a dark soulless person who will never have true friends but I would counter by saying do they have friends who WILL actually lay down their life for them? I do! They just don't know it yet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I built a full size replica of the Eiffel Tower out of stickle bricks in my back garden, but had to take it down as my neighbour complained to the council about the light pollution. |
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