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Swinging and cheating
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"In a swingers' dictionary, is there anything like cheating?
If there is, what would be cheating to swinging couples or partners?"
ANY single on here that is married and their spouse doesn't know! (But I guess that is not what you wanted!)
If one of us went off without the others knowledge and shagged someone else, that is cheating!! Simple really.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In a swingers' dictionary, is there anything like cheating?
If there is, what would be cheating to swinging couples or partners?"
Not being upfront about what your up to . Most cpls i know have their own code of conduct. Its what makes it work.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We swing as a couple so anything that could be done without the other present, or in secret would be cheating .... Just like any other cpl, Swingers or not |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In a swingers' dictionary, is there anything like cheating?
If there is, what would be cheating to swinging couples or partners?
ANY single on here that is married and their spouse doesn't know! (But I guess that is not what you wanted!)
If one of us went off without the others knowledge and shagged someone else, that is cheating!! Simple really.."
Your first was general cheating. Your second; lovely!!! It's becoming clear now  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"In a swingers' dictionary, is there anything like cheating?
If there is, what would be cheating to swinging couples or partners?"
oh dear.. pandora's box opened up again.....
let me try and answer it like this...
if someone is here and meeting with the consent of the other half... that is not cheating...
if someone is here and meeting without the consent of the other half... that is where a lot of the issues arise...
and for a long of people... it is the justification for it all is the point where some would like to scream....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"In a swingers' dictionary, is there anything like cheating?
If there is, what would be cheating to swinging couples or partners?
There is and it is exactly the same and in any other dictionary."
Ok, but once your partner is there it's not any more yeah? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If everyone know whats going on ... And man or woman not playing away with out other half knowing how can it be cheating ? "
I don't think it is, just getting that bit now  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"In a swingers' dictionary, is there anything like cheating?
If there is, what would be cheating to swinging couples or partners?
Not being upfront about what your up to . Most cpls i know have their own code of conduct. Its what makes it work. "
Yours seems to be a new view. So each couple define what cheating is to them then? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We swing as a couple so anything that could be done without the other present, or in secret would be cheating .... Just like any other cpl, Swingers or not "
Thanks, that's getting clearer now |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"In a swingers' dictionary, is there anything like cheating?
If there is, what would be cheating to swinging couples or partners?
oh dear.. pandora's box opened up again.....
let me try and answer it like this...
if someone is here and meeting with the consent of the other half... that is not cheating...
if someone is here and meeting without the consent of the other half... that is where a lot of the issues arise...
and for a long of people... it is the justification for it all is the point where some would like to scream.... "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In a swingers' dictionary, is there anything like cheating?
If there is, what would be cheating to swinging couples or partners?
Not being upfront about what your up to . Most cpls i know have their own code of conduct. Its what makes it work.
Yours seems to be a new view. So each couple define what cheating is to them then? "
Its like ...do it with me and alls fine...do it against me and your well and truly fucked...but not in a nice way  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"In a swingers' dictionary, is there anything like cheating?
If there is, what would be cheating to swinging couples or partners?
Not being upfront about what your up to . Most cpls i know have their own code of conduct. Its what makes it work.
Yours seems to be a new view. So each couple define what cheating is to them then?
Its like ...do it with me and alls fine...do it against me and your well and truly fucked...but not in a nice way "
Aw, I got that, it wouldn't be a memorable but not fun memory fuck then! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a oxymoron ....you have separated th act of sex from love ..so it should be it can only be cheating if you fall in love with someone else .....and by that i mean just the fact you have fell on love with another person even if your not sleeping with them would mean your cheating ... |
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"Its a oxymoron ....you have separated th act of sex from love ..so it should be it can only be cheating if you fall in love with someone else .....and by that i mean just the fact you have fell on love with another person even if your not sleeping with them would mean your cheating ... "
So lying and deceit has nothing to do with it? |
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Simply not telling the other, what appened or what we have been upto.
We pride ourselves that in 15 years we both know what the other has been upto, so no friend or jelous folk has ever been able to stir crap between us.
Those who tried got the reply of "not only do I know he or she met or got off with sombody, but I know exactly what they did, as we did it all again latter"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its a oxymoron ....you have separated th act of sex from love ..so it should be it can only be cheating if you fall in love with someone else .....and by that i mean just the fact you have fell on love with another person even if your not sleeping with them would mean your cheating ...
So lying and deceit has nothing to do with it?"
There is not a human being on this planet that does not lie ...we are all lying deceitful creatures by nature ....read the lying ape by Brian king ....we lie to ourselfs to get through the day and we all lie to others every day ....so to judge others about there lies... we must be a non liar which is a impossibility.... because of human nature  |
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"Its a oxymoron ....you have separated th act of sex from love ..so it should be it can only be cheating if you fall in love with someone else .....and by that i mean just the fact you have fell on love with another person even if your not sleeping with them would mean your cheating ...
So lying and deceit has nothing to do with it?
There is not a human being on this planet that does not lie ...we are all lying deceitful creatures by nature ....read the lying ape by Brian king ....we lie to ourselfs to get through the day and we all lie to others every day ....so to judge others about there lies... we must be a non liar which is a impossibility.... because of human nature "
Well as I usually say to such things.... I'll accept the reasons a cheat has for cheating 5 minutes after their partner does. When it's good enough for them, it will be good enough for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Every relationship we have is based on rules. These rules are either implicit or explicit. They are like the terms of an unwritten contract.
To knowingly break one of those rules breaks the contract of the relationship.
A cheat intentionally doesn't stick to the terms of the contract but wants to keep benefitting from the original deal. They therefore decieve the other party into continuing with the 'broken' contract.
Sex outside of the relationship is just one of many different rules SOME couples may CHOOSE to have as part of their deal.
This is why I don't understand why there is ever any confusion with swinging and cheating. As long as swinging is part of the terms and conditions of your deal, it can never be cheating.
Cheating is not about sex, it's about breaking rules. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To me it's simple
If my partner had emotional feelings for a meet (well not just her me as well of course lol)
And kept things from me of that nature etc or met in secret
I would class that as cheating
Yes we are swingers (well she is lol I've bowed out finally) but respect and love are stil very precious ta me and her xx |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"
So lying and deceit has nothing to do with it?
There is not a human being on this planet that does not lie ...we are all lying deceitful creatures by nature ....read the lying ape by Brian king ....we lie to ourselfs to get through the day and we all lie to others every day ....so to judge others about there lies... we must be a non liar which is a impossibility.... because of human nature "
eh,it's true we all lie,and at times we are all deceitful.
if you have sex,with someone other than your partner,and you lie,and are deceitfull about it,thats cheating.
if you lie,and are deceitful,about shoes you have bought.that is not cheating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
if you lie,and are deceitful,about shoes you have bought.that is not cheating.
Phew!  "
Unless of course you made a commitment to your partner to fight your shoe fetish! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"
if you lie,and are deceitful,about shoes you have bought.that is not cheating.
Phew!
Unless of course you made a commitment to your partner to fight your shoe fetish!"
I never commit to something I know is never going to happen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its a oxymoron ....you have separated th act of sex from love ..so it should be it can only be cheating if you fall in love with someone else .....and by that i mean just the fact you have fell on love with another person even if your not sleeping with them would mean your cheating ...
So lying and deceit has nothing to do with it?
There is not a human being on this planet that does not lie ...we are all lying deceitful creatures by nature ....read the lying ape by Brian king ....we lie to ourselfs to get through the day and we all lie to others every day ....so to judge others about there lies... we must be a non liar which is a impossibility.... because of human nature "
You lie everyday? I'm sorry I can't remember the last time I lied to someone, not evben a white one. Ok not to say I've never done, far from it, but to me that sounds like someone trying to justify their behaviour.
Anyway back on topic, we have rules, not many but they exist and they are set in stone. Personally I think the flipside of the freedom that swinging gives you is that cheating would be even more damaging to a relationship. |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"
if you lie,and are deceitful,about shoes you have bought.that is not cheating.
Does that apply to handbags too?"
lol
i once said to mrs saucy,either those shoes and handbags go,or i do.
she said,i'll miss you. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
if you lie,and are deceitful,about shoes you have bought.that is not cheating.
Does that apply to handbags too?
lol
i once said to mrs saucy,either those shoes and handbags go,or i do.
she said,i'll miss you. "
Wise words from Mrs Saucy ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
if you lie,and are deceitful,about shoes you have bought.that is not cheating.
Does that apply to handbags too?
lol
i once said to mrs saucy,either those shoes and handbags go,or i do.
she said,i'll miss you.
Wise words from Mrs Saucy !"
Bugger off you lot would be lost wi out us xx  |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"
if you lie,and are deceitful,about shoes you have bought.that is not cheating.
Does that apply to handbags too?
lol
i once said to mrs saucy,either those shoes and handbags go,or i do.
she said,i'll miss you.
Wise words from Mrs Saucy !
Bugger off you lot would be lost wi out us xx "
your right soapy,lost,lost,lost,without us.
although to be honest,to get back in.
i had to buy her a new bag,and a pair of shoes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
if you lie,and are deceitful,about shoes you have bought.that is not cheating.
Does that apply to handbags too?
lol
i once said to mrs saucy,either those shoes and handbags go,or i do.
she said,i'll miss you. :-
Wise words from Mrs Saucy !
Bugger off you lot would be lost wi out us xx
your right soapy,lost,lost,lost,without us.
although to be honest,to get back in.
i had to buy her a new bag,and a pair of shoes. "
Fancy lettin the side down
Be a man like me
Wendy and i both know who wears the trousers in our relationship xx  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
if you lie,and are deceitful,about shoes you have bought.that is not cheating.
Does that apply to handbags too?
lol
i once said to mrs saucy,either those shoes and handbags go,or i do.
she said,i'll miss you.
Wise words from Mrs Saucy !
Bugger off you lot would be lost wi out us xx "
Minus vibrator? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"AND.....they are little trousers
"
Mmmm ya right there the other day I borrowed the ex wife's car and gad to adjust the seat forward
Thing is she is only four foot eleven xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We swing as a couple so anything that could be done without the other present, or in secret would be cheating .... Just like any other cpl, Swingers or not "
+1 |
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"Every relationship we have is based on rules. These rules are either implicit or explicit. They are like the terms of an unwritten contract.
To knowingly break one of those rules breaks the contract of the relationship.
A cheat intentionally doesn't stick to the terms of the contract but wants to keep benefitting from the original deal. They therefore decieve the other party into continuing with the 'broken' contract.
Sex outside of the relationship is just one of many different rules SOME couples may CHOOSE to have as part of their deal.
This is why I don't understand why there is ever any confusion with swinging and cheating. As long as swinging is part of the terms and conditions of your deal, it can never be cheating.
Cheating is not about sex, it's about breaking rules. "
i seriously dont know why u bother spice, the whoosh of this going over the trolls head can be heard from here
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Every relationship we have is based on rules. These rules are either implicit or explicit. They are like the terms of an unwritten contract.
To knowingly break one of those rules breaks the contract of the relationship.
A cheat intentionally doesn't stick to the terms of the contract but wants to keep benefitting from the original deal. They therefore decieve the other party into continuing with the 'broken' contract.
Sex outside of the relationship is just one of many different rules SOME couples may CHOOSE to have as part of their deal.
This is why I don't understand why there is ever any confusion with swinging and cheating. As long as swinging is part of the terms and conditions of your deal, it can never be cheating.
Cheating is not about sex, it's about breaking rules. "
very well put , sex is sex at the end of the day |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Every relationship we have is based on rules. These rules are either implicit or explicit. They are like the terms of an unwritten contract.
To knowingly break one of those rules breaks the contract of the relationship.
A cheat intentionally doesn't stick to the terms of the contract but wants to keep benefitting from the original deal. They therefore decieve the other party into continuing with the 'broken' contract.
Sex outside of the relationship is just one of many different rules SOME couples may CHOOSE to have as part of their deal.
This is why I don't understand why there is ever any confusion with swinging and cheating. As long as swinging is part of the terms and conditions of your deal, it can never be cheating.
Cheating is not about sex, it's about breaking rules. "
I go with you all the way. Good way to present it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Anyway back on topic, we have rules, not many but they exist and they are set in stone. Personally I think the flipside of the freedom that swinging gives you is that cheating would be even more damaging to a relationship.
How true is that - swinging is meant to be about honesty and openness - and that goes for one partner playing 'away' - it's the lying and dishonesty that eats away at you, makes you question whether you are worth anything as a person, makes you want to curl up in a corner and bawl your eyes out... |
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