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Feelings...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is he in a position to court you?
Has he made it clear he does not want a relationship, just no string sex?"
He's single. We've not had that conversation! That's my dilemma x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you're both free to pursue it carry on. Talk to him he might be up for it as well. None of us are immune to feelings and sometimes it just happens at the right time. Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is he in a position to court you?
Has he made it clear he does not want a relationship, just no string sex?
He's single. We've not had that conversation! That's my dilemma x"
Well he's single so that's promising! I'd suggest doing some gentle probing, see how he stands on dating. Don't confess feelings yet. If he says he's not open to relationships then you'll have to decide whether to tell or just distance.
Bit of probing first i thing. |
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Gently throw it out there! See what the reaction is! It's easier to make choices if you both have the facts! Communication is always best,, or you will always wonder what if!?
Good luck .. that sort of thing is always a head fuck! XX |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm not even sure it's a relationship I want! I'd like to see him exclusively but don't want to move in get married lol
I'm not the kind of girl to do gentle probing! I'm not very subtle 
Thanks for your opinions x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not even sure it's a relationship I want! I'd like to see him exclusively but don't want to move in get married lol
I'm not the kind of girl to do gentle probing! I'm not very subtle
Thanks for your opinions x"
He might want kids! X |
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"I'm not even sure it's a relationship I want! I'd like to see him exclusively but don't want to move in get married lol
I'm not the kind of girl to do gentle probing! I'm not very subtle
Thanks for your opinions x"
Yeah,but you don't want to also scare him off at this stage! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A sure sign that he wants to see you is when he makes the effort to contact you and makes time to be with you. Many times it's the non verbal messages that speak nice n clearly. Sit back and breath girl. Love & light for you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A sure sign that he wants to see you is when he makes the effort to contact you and makes time to be with you. Many times it's the non verbal messages that speak nice n clearly. Sit back and breath girl. Love & light for you x "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you are both single carry on and enjoy! Just see how things go. Just because you met here doesn't mean you are immune from feelings! I have/got the feelings with one of my meets. He confuses the hell out of me but I think i have boxed those feelings away and can just continue to enjoy the great sex! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tell him. Blocking woukd be mean and he may like you too?
If he doesn't feel the same way then you've achieved your original suggestion.
Swinging is a pastime from what I can see. Relationships are a way of life. Why Not? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Catching the feels is extremely hard when you have no idea how they feel. On one hand it could be good to reveal how you feel to save you being hurt further down the line, on the other hand you could keep it quiet for a little longer, as you only met him twice and it's still new, he may start to show traits you don't like over time.
Best of luck.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you have hidden your profile so i have no idea what you re after - but that kind stops anybody else having a peep at you - maybe see another fella and see how you feel - unless you embrace whats hit you and see if he feels the same |
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Maybe ask him if he has ever had meets where he has fell for a girl ... that'll be enough to start the conversation and see where it goes .... it may be you don't need to confess you have feelings x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A sure sign that he wants to see you is when he makes the effort to contact you and makes time to be with you. Many times it's the non verbal messages that speak nice n clearly. Sit back and breath girl. Love & light for you x "
Yeah. He's been online and not contacted me
Tho we chatted on kik on Monday. I'm over thinking as we girls often do. Fortunately I've done nothing yet x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Look at the evidence...
Who intiates contact first, both of you equally, him more, you more?
Who initiates meets?
You have only had a couple of socials and a rub so you're under no obligations and both of you are free to meet other people. If you bring up exclusivity and shit you may scare him off. My advice is to keep your feelings in your purse until you know or he asks you if you're meeting other people or gives any hint that he only wants to meet you, he could say things like he's gonna delete Fab or he can't be arsed with meeting other people, stuff like that.
Or you could be like me and be as mental as anything right from the beginning and say that you only want one guy to fuck and that you will lose your shit if he even thinks about wanting to meet someone else. It will scare a lot of guys off but there's got to be one guy that can take all this on, right? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you are both single carry on and enjoy! Just see how things go. Just because you met here doesn't mean you are immune from feelings! I have/got the feelings with one of my meets. He confuses the hell out of me but I think i have boxed those feelings away and can just continue to enjoy the great sex!"
I'm not sure I can do this! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Look at the evidence...
Who intiates contact first, both of you equally, him more, you more?
Who initiates meets?
You have only had a couple of socials and a rub so you're under no obligations and both of you are free to meet other people. If you bring up exclusivity and shit you may scare him off. My advice is to keep your feelings in your purse until you know or he asks you if you're meeting other people or gives any hint that he only wants to meet you, he could say things like he's gonna delete Fab or he can't be arsed with meeting other people, stuff like that.
Or you could be like me and be as mental as anything right from the beginning and say that you only want one guy to fuck and that you will lose your shit if he even thinks about wanting to meet someone else. It will scare a lot of guys off but there's got to be one guy that can take all this on, right? "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Gently throw it out there! See what the reaction is! It's easier to make choices if you both have the facts! Communication is always best,, or you will always wonder what if!?
Good luck .. that sort of thing is always a head fuck! XX "
It's not like I'm madly in love but I know that if I see more of him I will develop feelings and this is far from what I've been looking for!
How do I gently put it out there? x |
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"Gently throw it out there! See what the reaction is! It's easier to make choices if you both have the facts! Communication is always best,, or you will always wonder what if!?
Good luck .. that sort of thing is always a head fuck! XX
It's not like I'm madly in love but I know that if I see more of him I will develop feelings and this is far from what I've been looking for!
How do I gently put it out there? x"
Christ knows. Men ain't great at noticing hints apparently, regardless of what you do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Gently throw it out there! See what the reaction is! It's easier to make choices if you both have the facts! Communication is always best,, or you will always wonder what if!?
Good luck .. that sort of thing is always a head fuck! XX
It's not like I'm madly in love but I know that if I see more of him I will develop feelings and this is far from what I've been looking for!
How do I gently put it out there? x
Christ knows. Men ain't great at noticing hints apparently, regardless of what you do. "
lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Listen to your instinct. If it feels right, then it usually is.. and if anything tells you to do a runner, well there's a reason for that too. Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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simplify - you hold back cos its not what youre wanting - he goes off and plays with others - you get over it -
or
you have the chat - if hes with you bonus all round - if he runs well you didnt want the love thing anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're both free to pursue it carry on. Talk to him he might be up for it as well. None of us are immune to feelings and sometimes it just happens at the right time. Good luck x "
this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet "
See this place isn't good, it takes away all the what you don't know can't hurt you stuff. In the old days you wouldn't know if he was shagging or meeting other birds but here you can. If you see other women want him too it makes them more high value and possibly mess with your head into making you think you want them more. Remember what Beyoncé said, you must not know bout me,you must not know 'bout me, I can have another you in a minute!
Honestly he's put another veri up, so put the brakes on your feelings, have a social with someone else cos you're under no obligations to him either. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"you have hidden your profile so i have no idea what you re after - but that kind stops anybody else having a peep at you - maybe see another fella and see how you feel - unless you embrace whats hit you and see if he feels the same "
Saw one of my regulars two days after!
I've hidden my profile due to my dilemma x
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
See this place isn't good, it takes away all the what you don't know can't hurt you stuff. In the old days you wouldn't know if he was shagging or meeting other birds but here you can. If you see other women want him too it makes them more high value and possibly mess with your head into making you think you want them more. Remember what Beyoncé said, you must not know bout me,you must not know 'bout me, I can have another you in a minute!
Honestly he's put another veri up, so put the brakes on your feelings, have a social with someone else cos you're under no obligations to him either. "
Put the brakes on my feelings?!
Can anyone do that? x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
See this place isn't good, it takes away all the what you don't know can't hurt you stuff. In the old days you wouldn't know if he was shagging or meeting other birds but here you can. If you see other women want him too it makes them more high value and possibly mess with your head into making you think you want them more. Remember what Beyoncé said, you must not know bout me,you must not know 'bout me, I can have another you in a minute!
Honestly he's put another veri up, so put the brakes on your feelings, have a social with someone else cos you're under no obligations to him either.
Put the brakes on my feelings?!
Can anyone do that? x"
Not in the real world at least not in my experience |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
See this place isn't good, it takes away all the what you don't know can't hurt you stuff. In the old days you wouldn't know if he was shagging or meeting other birds but here you can. If you see other women want him too it makes them more high value and possibly mess with your head into making you think you want them more. Remember what Beyoncé said, you must not know bout me,you must not know 'bout me, I can have another you in a minute!
Honestly he's put another veri up, so put the brakes on your feelings, have a social with someone else cos you're under no obligations to him either.
Put the brakes on my feelings?!
Can anyone do that? x"
sometimes you just have to box them away - but you have choices here - its not like you have feelings and he has said fuck off - the guy is in the dark atm |
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"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
See this place isn't good, it takes away all the what you don't know can't hurt you stuff. In the old days you wouldn't know if he was shagging or meeting other birds but here you can. If you see other women want him too it makes them more high value and possibly mess with your head into making you think you want them more. Remember what Beyoncé said, you must not know bout me,you must not know 'bout me, I can have another you in a minute!
Honestly he's put another veri up, so put the brakes on your feelings, have a social with someone else cos you're under no obligations to him either.
Put the brakes on my feelings?!
Can anyone do that? x"
If only it was that easy eh?!
I don't have that ability but I wish I did |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
See this place isn't good, it takes away all the what you don't know can't hurt you stuff. In the old days you wouldn't know if he was shagging or meeting other birds but here you can. If you see other women want him too it makes them more high value and possibly mess with your head into making you think you want them more. Remember what Beyoncé said, you must not know bout me,you must not know 'bout me, I can have another you in a minute!
Honestly he's put another veri up, so put the brakes on your feelings, have a social with someone else cos you're under no obligations to him either.
Put the brakes on my feelings?!
Can anyone do that? x
If only it was that easy eh?!
I don't have that ability but I wish I did"
painful isnt it xxxxx but doable - |
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"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x"
You've met him twice and you're feeling your only options are to tell him you have feelings for him or to walk away?
Is there no third option of seeing how things go? Seeing how you get along once you know a bit more about each other. Finding out if after you next meet he wants to see you again.
You make yourself vulnerable to hurt or missing out on good things by giving yourself such stark choices. By insisting that you know you will develop feelings for him you assume they will be good feelings...getting to know him a bit more might make you realise he's not for you.
Step back, take a little time and hope he doesn't read the forums.
Hope the end result is what's best for you both. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
See this place isn't good, it takes away all the what you don't know can't hurt you stuff. In the old days you wouldn't know if he was shagging or meeting other birds but here you can. If you see other women want him too it makes them more high value and possibly mess with your head into making you think you want them more. Remember what Beyoncé said, you must not know bout me,you must not know 'bout me, I can have another you in a minute!
Honestly he's put another veri up, so put the brakes on your feelings, have a social with someone else cos you're under no obligations to him either.
Put the brakes on my feelings?!
Can anyone do that? x
sometimes you just have to box them away - but you have choices here - its not like you have feelings and he has said fuck off - the guy is in the dark atm "
I know! I'm over thinking it! Tbh it's freaked me out x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
See this place isn't good, it takes away all the what you don't know can't hurt you stuff. In the old days you wouldn't know if he was shagging or meeting other birds but here you can. If you see other women want him too it makes them more high value and possibly mess with your head into making you think you want them more. Remember what Beyoncé said, you must not know bout me,you must not know 'bout me, I can have another you in a minute!
Honestly he's put another veri up, so put the brakes on your feelings, have a social with someone else cos you're under no obligations to him either.
Put the brakes on my feelings?!
Can anyone do that? x"
You might need to  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a difficult one. Primarily because it is very early in the meet process. If you broach it too soon, he may run, because it may be too quick for him develop that type of attachment to consider possible exclusivity. I wouldn't block him. You don't want to turn him into one of those 'what if's'. I personally wouldn't broach it right now. Give him a little more time to enjoy your fabulousness. Then hopefully he'll form a bigger connection to you and want that little more with you ( not saying that he doesnt already mind! ). Whatever you decide OP. Best of luck. It's a sticky one x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x
You've met him twice and you're feeling your only options are to tell him you have feelings for him or to walk away?
Is there no third option of seeing how things go? Seeing how you get along once you know a bit more about each other. Finding out if after you next meet he wants to see you again.
You make yourself vulnerable to hurt or missing out on good things by giving yourself such stark choices. By insisting that you know you will develop feelings for him you assume they will be good feelings...getting to know him a bit more might make you realise he's not for you.
Step back, take a little time and hope he doesn't read the forums.
Hope the end result is what's best for you both."
I've met him three times! I don't want a relationship! I'm scared that he doesn't want to see more of me but also that he does! x |
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"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x
You've met him twice and you're feeling your only options are to tell him you have feelings for him or to walk away?
Is there no third option of seeing how things go? Seeing how you get along once you know a bit more about each other. Finding out if after you next meet he wants to see you again.
You make yourself vulnerable to hurt or missing out on good things by giving yourself such stark choices. By insisting that you know you will develop feelings for him you assume they will be good feelings...getting to know him a bit more might make you realise he's not for you.
Step back, take a little time and hope he doesn't read the forums.
Hope the end result is what's best for you both.
I've met him three times! I don't want a relationship! I'm scared that he doesn't want to see more of me but also that he does! x"
Ok three times.
What do you want then? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x
You've met him twice and you're feeling your only options are to tell him you have feelings for him or to walk away?
Is there no third option of seeing how things go? Seeing how you get along once you know a bit more about each other. Finding out if after you next meet he wants to see you again.
You make yourself vulnerable to hurt or missing out on good things by giving yourself such stark choices. By insisting that you know you will develop feelings for him you assume they will be good feelings...getting to know him a bit more might make you realise he's not for you.
Step back, take a little time and hope he doesn't read the forums.
Hope the end result is what's best for you both.
I've met him three times! I don't want a relationship! I'm scared that he doesn't want to see more of me but also that he does! x
Ok three times.
What do you want then? "
I like to be exclusive with him, see him at least once a week - probably more! Sx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
See this place isn't good, it takes away all the what you don't know can't hurt you stuff. In the old days you wouldn't know if he was shagging or meeting other birds but here you can. If you see other women want him too it makes them more high value and possibly mess with your head into making you think you want them more. Remember what Beyoncé said, you must not know bout me,you must not know 'bout me, I can have another you in a minute!
Honestly he's put another veri up, so put the brakes on your feelings, have a social with someone else cos you're under no obligations to him either.
Put the brakes on my feelings?!
Can anyone do that? x
If only it was that easy eh?!
I don't have that ability but I wish I did"
It's difficult but doable. Sounds heartless but I use it to protect myself!
On your next meet, jokingly say "I could fall for you" or "I'm surprised no one has fallen for you before"? Maybe talk about having feelings in general and see how he reacts. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
See this place isn't good, it takes away all the what you don't know can't hurt you stuff. In the old days you wouldn't know if he was shagging or meeting other birds but here you can. If you see other women want him too it makes them more high value and possibly mess with your head into making you think you want them more. Remember what Beyoncé said, you must not know bout me,you must not know 'bout me, I can have another you in a minute!
Honestly he's put another veri up, so put the brakes on your feelings, have a social with someone else cos you're under no obligations to him either.
Put the brakes on my feelings?!
Can anyone do that? x
If only it was that easy eh?!
I don't have that ability but I wish I did
It's difficult but doable. Sounds heartless but I use it to protect myself!
On your next meet, jokingly say "I could fall for you" or "I'm surprised no one has fallen for you before"? Maybe talk about having feelings in general and see how he reacts. "
Good plan x |
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"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x
You've met him twice and you're feeling your only options are to tell him you have feelings for him or to walk away?
Is there no third option of seeing how things go? Seeing how you get along once you know a bit more about each other. Finding out if after you next meet he wants to see you again.
You make yourself vulnerable to hurt or missing out on good things by giving yourself such stark choices. By insisting that you know you will develop feelings for him you assume they will be good feelings...getting to know him a bit more might make you realise he's not for you.
Step back, take a little time and hope he doesn't read the forums.
Hope the end result is what's best for you both.
I've met him three times! I don't want a relationship! I'm scared that he doesn't want to see more of me but also that he does! x
Ok three times.
What do you want then?
I like to be exclusive with him, see him at least once a week - probably more! Sx"
The way I see it you have three options.
Tell him that.
Walk away.
Have a word with yourself and just carry on as things are to see how it develops.
If the third isn't an option for you you will at least find out where you stand. However never underestimate the things a man will promise if the possibility of sex once a week is on offer. You may think me cynical but you've met him through a swinging site and you're wanting to change the dynamic of your meets after three interactions. I think you should tread warily. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But before you have your next meet see how it comes about. Who's asking who for it. I'd look at his actions first before you open yourself up. I would also speak to other guys and possibly have a social with another guy, he wouldn't have to know but will help you from concentrating your feelings on the one guy and I think it will make you give off a different vibe. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x
You've met him twice and you're feeling your only options are to tell him you have feelings for him or to walk away?
Is there no third option of seeing how things go? Seeing how you get along once you know a bit more about each other. Finding out if after you next meet he wants to see you again.
You make yourself vulnerable to hurt or missing out on good things by giving yourself such stark choices. By insisting that you know you will develop feelings for him you assume they will be good feelings...getting to know him a bit more might make you realise he's not for you.
Step back, take a little time and hope he doesn't read the forums.
Hope the end result is what's best for you both.
I've met him three times! I don't want a relationship! I'm scared that he doesn't want to see more of me but also that he does! x
Ok three times.
What do you want then?
I like to be exclusive with him, see him at least once a week - probably more! Sx
The way I see it you have three options.
Tell him that.
Walk away.
Have a word with yourself and just carry on as things are to see how it develops.
If the third isn't an option for you you will at least find out where you stand. However never underestimate the things a man will promise if the possibility of sex once a week is on offer. You may think me cynical but you've met him through a swinging site and you're wanting to change the dynamic of your meets after three interactions. I think you should tread warily."
I've been having words with myself for days! Hence this thread! I think you're completely right. I never expected this at all. I've managed to have lots of great meets regularly and not experienced anything like this and it's thrown me
Thank you for your advice x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"But before you have your next meet see how it comes about. Who's asking who for it. I'd look at his actions first before you open yourself up. I would also speak to other guys and possibly have a social with another guy, he wouldn't have to know but will help you from concentrating your feelings on the one guy and I think it will make you give off a different vibe. "
I'm contacting him. About to suggest another meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Take a few Wedding magazines along with you when you next meet him.
How he reacts will tell you everything
What like let them accidently fall out of her hand bag  "
Exactly, whilst looking in jewellery shops at engagement rings  |
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"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x
You've met him twice and you're feeling your only options are to tell him you have feelings for him or to walk away?
Is there no third option of seeing how things go? Seeing how you get along once you know a bit more about each other. Finding out if after you next meet he wants to see you again.
You make yourself vulnerable to hurt or missing out on good things by giving yourself such stark choices. By insisting that you know you will develop feelings for him you assume they will be good feelings...getting to know him a bit more might make you realise he's not for you.
Step back, take a little time and hope he doesn't read the forums.
Hope the end result is what's best for you both.
I've met him three times! I don't want a relationship! I'm scared that he doesn't want to see more of me but also that he does! x
Ok three times.
What do you want then?
I like to be exclusive with him, see him at least once a week - probably more! Sx
The way I see it you have three options.
Tell him that.
Walk away.
Have a word with yourself and just carry on as things are to see how it develops.
If the third isn't an option for you you will at least find out where you stand. However never underestimate the things a man will promise if the possibility of sex once a week is on offer. You may think me cynical but you've met him through a swinging site and you're wanting to change the dynamic of your meets after three interactions. I think you should tread warily.
I've been having words with myself for days! Hence this thread! I think you're completely right. I never expected this at all. I've managed to have lots of great meets regularly and not experienced anything like this and it's thrown me
Thank you for your advice x"
You're welcome.
I hope good things come from this whatever the outcome. |
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By *aura66Woman
over a year ago
Belfast |
Why hide your profile? He may take from that , that you're not interested in meeting? That's generally what that would indicate to me . Maybe that's why you haven't heard from him since Monday .
try not to overthink stuff .. Play it by ear . The worst that can happen is that nothing happens.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But before you have your next meet see how it comes about. Who's asking who for it. I'd look at his actions first before you open yourself up. I would also speak to other guys and possibly have a social with another guy, he wouldn't have to know but will help you from concentrating your feelings on the one guy and I think it will make you give off a different vibe.
I'm contacting him. About to suggest another meet "
See now this makes me think you should let him initiate the next meet before you consider telling him you have feelings. You last had a convo on kik on Monday was it, he's been online on here and no message? I'm throwing caution to the wind and meeting someone on Saturday, he whatsapps, he sends videos and voice notes, we talk on the phone and seen his status last night says 'can't wait for Saturday'
It will probably go tits up for me but at least for now he seems keen and initiating the interest.
I would definitely start speaking to other guys though, that's where is women go wrong cos we're too damn loyal for our own good and most of us only concentrate on one guy at a time. We are under no obligation to anyone, we can spread ourselves around, we don't have to fuck every guy but just knowing that we have options like so many successful guys on here do, I think it will make a woman give off vibes that guys will pick up.
|
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"Is he in a position to court you?
Has he made it clear he does not want a relationship, just no string sex?
He's single. We've not had that conversation! That's my dilemma x
Well he's single so that's promising! I'd suggest doing some gentle probing, see how he stands on dating. Don't confess feelings yet. If he says he's not open to relationships then you'll have to decide whether to tell or just distance.
Bit of probing first i thing. "
Yes I agree with this and good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why hide your profile? He may take from that , that you're not interested in meeting? That's generally what that would indicate to me . Maybe that's why you haven't heard from him since Monday .
try not to overthink stuff .. Play it by ear . The worst that can happen is that nothing happens.
"
We don't chat on fab. Lol too late been over thinking for days, hence asking for advice x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"But before you have your next meet see how it comes about. Who's asking who for it. I'd look at his actions first before you open yourself up. I would also speak to other guys and possibly have a social with another guy, he wouldn't have to know but will help you from concentrating your feelings on the one guy and I think it will make you give off a different vibe.
I'm contacting him. About to suggest another meet
See now this makes me think you should let him initiate the next meet before you consider telling him you have feelings. You last had a convo on kik on Monday was it, he's been online on here and no message? I'm throwing caution to the wind and meeting someone on Saturday, he whatsapps, he sends videos and voice notes, we talk on the phone and seen his status last night says 'can't wait for Saturday'
It will probably go tits up for me but at least for now he seems keen and initiating the interest.
I would definitely start speaking to other guys though, that's where is women go wrong cos we're too damn loyal for our own good and most of us only concentrate on one guy at a time. We are under no obligation to anyone, we can spread ourselves around, we don't have to fuck every guy but just knowing that we have options like so many successful guys on here do, I think it will make a woman give off vibes that guys will pick up.
"
It's been him chasing me and I've not been that bothered so never noticed when he was online before! He wants another meet. I think I'm being very cautious as I don't normally see things this clearly. Often I'm in too deep before I realise.
I'm still chatting to regular and new fellas x |
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By *eppoMan
over a year ago
London Colney |
"But before you have your next meet see how it comes about. Who's asking who for it. I'd look at his actions first before you open yourself up. I would also speak to other guys and possibly have a social with another guy, he wouldn't have to know but will help you from concentrating your feelings on the one guy and I think it will make you give off a different vibe.
I'm contacting him. About to suggest another meet
See now this makes me think you should let him initiate the next meet before you consider telling him you have feelings. You last had a convo on kik on Monday was it, he's been online on here and no message? I'm throwing caution to the wind and meeting someone on Saturday, he whatsapps, he sends videos and voice notes, we talk on the phone and seen his status last night says 'can't wait for Saturday'
It will probably go tits up for me but at least for now he seems keen and initiating the interest.
I would definitely start speaking to other guys though, that's where is women go wrong cos we're too damn loyal for our own good and most of us only concentrate on one guy at a time. We are under no obligation to anyone, we can spread ourselves around, we don't have to fuck every guy but just knowing that we have options like so many successful guys on here do, I think it will make a woman give off vibes that guys will pick up.
"
Concur completely !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But before you have your next meet see how it comes about. Who's asking who for it. I'd look at his actions first before you open yourself up. I would also speak to other guys and possibly have a social with another guy, he wouldn't have to know but will help you from concentrating your feelings on the one guy and I think it will make you give off a different vibe.
I'm contacting him. About to suggest another meet
See now this makes me think you should let him initiate the next meet before you consider telling him you have feelings. You last had a convo on kik on Monday was it, he's been online on here and no message? I'm throwing caution to the wind and meeting someone on Saturday, he whatsapps, he sends videos and voice notes, we talk on the phone and seen his status last night says 'can't wait for Saturday'
It will probably go tits up for me but at least for now he seems keen and initiating the interest.
I would definitely start speaking to other guys though, that's where is women go wrong cos we're too damn loyal for our own good and most of us only concentrate on one guy at a time. We are under no obligation to anyone, we can spread ourselves around, we don't have to fuck every guy but just knowing that we have options like so many successful guys on here do, I think it will make a woman give off vibes that guys will pick up.
It's been him chasing me and I've not been that bothered so never noticed when he was online before! He wants another meet. I think I'm being very cautious as I don't normally see things this clearly. Often I'm in too deep before I realise.
I'm still chatting to regular and new fellas x"
Play it cool. Real cool. Good luck and stay focused all will ok! X |
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"Thank you all for your advice
I know I'm over thinking but it scared the shit out of me. So not expecting it
I don't want to play games.
Sx"
These bastards get ya when you least expect it. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thank you all for your advice
I know I'm over thinking but it scared the shit out of me. So not expecting it
I don't want to play games.
Sx
These bastards get ya when you least expect it. Good luck "
x |
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"Thank you all for your advice
I know I'm over thinking but it scared the shit out of me. So not expecting it
I don't want to play games.
Sx"
I would say be real, be true to yourself, don't play games - but just be cautious. You like the guy, maybe a lot - you can express that in word and deed without saying 'Oh my God I think I could fall for you.....' just chill, tell him you really enjoyed the last meet, tell him you can't wait for the next meet, express your excitement when you see him, just don't try and 'tidy' anything yet - run with it, see how you feel after a couple more meets, keep meeting others, see how he behaves after a couple more meets....then if he seems keen and you still feel the same, THEN have a relaxed chat about where it might go.... lol! Good luck!
Oh and PS - do not throw something with potential away out of fear, you'll only regret what you didn't do! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thank you all for your advice
I know I'm over thinking but it scared the shit out of me. So not expecting it
I don't want to play games.
Sx
I would say be real, be true to yourself, don't play games - but just be cautious. You like the guy, maybe a lot - you can express that in word and deed without saying 'Oh my God I think I could fall for you.....' just chill, tell him you really enjoyed the last meet, tell him you can't wait for the next meet, express your excitement when you see him, just don't try and 'tidy' anything yet - run with it, see how you feel after a couple more meets, keep meeting others, see how he behaves after a couple more meets....then if he seems keen and you still feel the same, THEN have a relaxed chat about where it might go.... lol! Good luck!
Oh and PS - do not throw something with potential away out of fear, you'll only regret what you didn't do!"
Thank you. Excellent advice x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Be brave
Be bold
Take a chance
Give in to your impulsive side
We only get one life
Sometimes we only get one real opportunity
Dare to believe
Dare to trust
Dare to take that leap and hope you don't fall
Follow your
But please what ever you do... don't take any advice from me...
I always fuck it up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x"
Meet him & tell him how you feel..u have nothing to lose |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Be brave
Be bold
Take a chance
Give in to your impulsive side
We only get one life
Sometimes we only get one real opportunity
Dare to believe
Dare to trust
Dare to take that leap and hope you don't fall
Follow your
But please what ever you do... don't take any advice from me...
I always fuck it up "
Lol me and you both x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've always believed in honesty. If you are upfront about it and he doesn't feel the same then move on.
It wasn't meant to be.
it'd be lovely if we could just turn off those feelings but it's not always that easy.
Do what your gut feeling tells you, that's always worked for me so far in life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've always believed in honesty. If you are upfront about it and he doesn't feel the same then move on.
It wasn't meant to be.
it'd be lovely if we could just turn off those feelings but it's not always that easy.
Do what your gut feeling tells you, that's always worked for me so far in life "
I actually like what you've written. I have always pussy footed so many times for fear of loosing the man. I'm hoping that I will be able ti share what I deem important in my life too. It may seem strange to hear this from a 48 year old woman but I have found that I have not always walked my talk. There's a looming lioness in me that just turns to a little lion cub and then BAM I get burnt. I feel that I need to value myself more regardless of whether a man is in my life or not. |
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"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x
You've met him twice and you're feeling your only options are to tell him you have feelings for him or to walk away?
Is there no third option of seeing how things go? Seeing how you get along once you know a bit more about each other. Finding out if after you next meet he wants to see you again.
You make yourself vulnerable to hurt or missing out on good things by giving yourself such stark choices. By insisting that you know you will develop feelings for him you assume they will be good feelings...getting to know him a bit more might make you realise he's not for you.
Step back, take a little time and hope he doesn't read the forums.
Hope the end result is What'd best for you both."
This right here.
Was seeing so many people giving different opinions but this one is exactly what I was thinking. |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
since using this place i think you should just enjoy falling for people, don't tell them, enjoy the moment coz it never lasts.
fall for someone else.
i really don't think the internet is a place to look for people who have any intention of investing themselves into you.
i actually think the way things are going there won't be any proper bonds between people any more coz everyone is easily disposable now. i can see it on here and other dating sites. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you are both single carry on and enjoy! Just see how things go. Just because you met here doesn't mean you are immune from feelings! I have/got the feelings with one of my meets. He confuses the hell out of me but I think i have boxed those feelings away and can just continue to enjoy the great sex!"
I'm exactly the same!! Mans mood swings give me whiplash. But I can't help but like him. The sex is great. So ill put up with it! Haha |
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Be ready to end the interaction but let him know that you'd prefer a different type of involvement. If he's not interested, go your separate ways, so that you don't get in any deeper.
If you can work out what it is about it, other than him, it could allow you to avoid this in future |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Your doomed lol
I was in the same situation where I met a guy a few times and tottaly fell for him.
I tryed to egnore those fellings and I couldn't so I ran away and blanked him.I left fab.I even deleted his phone number.It was impossible though as I couldn't delete what my heart felt so I came back to tell him how I felt.
Luckily enough for me he had feelings for me and was also scared to spoil our friendship by admiting that.
We're now closer than ever.I spend every weekend with him.Every spare day I have I always want to be with him.We have amazing times and laugh until my jaw hurts.
So it can happen trust me.You need to follow your heart and if he says no what have you lost?
Think of what you could gain and never live with the regret of not saying what you want to do.You never know where you will meet the one so go for it x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Your doomed lol
I was in the same situation where I met a guy a few times and tottaly fell for him.
I tryed to egnore those fellings and I couldn't so I ran away and blanked him.I left fab.I even deleted his phone number.It was impossible though as I couldn't delete what my heart felt so I came back to tell him how I felt.
Luckily enough for me he had feelings for me and was also scared to spoil our friendship by admiting that.
We're now closer than ever.I spend every weekend with him.Every spare day I have I always want to be with him.We have amazing times and laugh until my jaw hurts.
So it can happen trust me.You need to follow your heart and if he says no what have you lost?
Think of what you could gain and never live with the regret of not saying what you want to do.You never know where you will meet the one so go for it x "
Oh blimey! Thanks tho x |
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"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet "
Oh dear.
And... if he'd seen her after you and him had bumped uglies?
I hope he doesn't have pet rabbits! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x"
do u no if he feels the same ? X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've always believed in honesty. If you are upfront about it and he doesn't feel the same then move on.
It wasn't meant to be.
it'd be lovely if we could just turn off those feelings but it's not always that easy.
Do what your gut feeling tells you, that's always worked for me so far in life "
You sure that's not indigestion  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
Oh dear.
And... if he'd seen her after you and him had bumped uglies?
I hope he doesn't have pet rabbits! "
Why does she have to be a bunny boiler just because it would sting a bit to see he had met someone else after her when she likes him?
You are a couple, you have each other. It's a completely different experience when you're totally single. You two have each other for emotional security and support. Don't need to throw shitty bunny boiler comments round. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Everyone here has an opinion or advice on other people's lives.
It's easy to be either flippant or give advice to another about their situation much harder when you as the party involved has to make the decisions.
All the advice in the world cannot and should not influence you...listening to others can just add to the confusion in your life.
There is no solution to this unless the two of you are prepared to be open and honest about your desires and expectations.
Our lives are not fixed in stone our choices dictate our futures and our futures are not guaranteed.
It's better to be happy for a day than to regret for ever.
I have no answer other than you both need to talk be honest be flexible and recognise that all things grow and change over time...
And if for you that is what you both seek then live today trust the future and hope for the dream to live forever.
Good luck OP... I hope you get your happy ending..
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"since using this place i think you should just enjoy falling for people, don't tell them, enjoy the moment coz it never lasts.
fall for someone else.
i really don't think the internet is a place to look for people who have any intention of investing themselves into you.
i actually think the way things are going there won't be any proper bonds between people any more coz everyone is easily disposable now. i can see it on here and other dating sites."
I met my husband online. Still together after 15 years
Not all people are in it for the short term. I'm sure there are plenty on here who have met on this site too.
I have met some genuinely lovely people on this site and some are looking for long term partners.
I do agree that there are many who aren't as well. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x do u no if he feels the same ? X"
No. I've not done anything about it x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
Oh dear.
And... if he'd seen her after you and him had bumped uglies?
I hope he doesn't have pet rabbits! "
I don't know! Seeing the veri gave me butterflies. I'm the opposite of a bunny boiler hence the question I initially asked! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your doomed lol
I was in the same situation where I met a guy a few times and tottaly fell for him.
I tryed to egnore those fellings and I couldn't so I ran away and blanked him.I left fab.I even deleted his phone number.It was impossible though as I couldn't delete what my heart felt so I came back to tell him how I felt.
Luckily enough for me he had feelings for me and was also scared to spoil our friendship by admiting that.
We're now closer than ever.I spend every weekend with him.Every spare day I have I always want to be with him.We have amazing times and laugh until my jaw hurts.
So it can happen trust me.You need to follow your heart and if he says no what have you lost?
Think of what you could gain and never live with the regret of not saying what you want to do.You never know where you will meet the one so go for it x "
Awesome stuff |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You have to do what you think is best for you, weigh the risk....would you rather regret not finding out, or regret finding out the truth if its not what you want to hear. Personally, think he would be a fool to reject you J x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If you have these feelings you'll only kick yourself if you don't say anything and it fizzles out.
By telling him how you feel the only thing you can lose is something you were never going to have......if that makes sense |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"3 meets and you got feelings? Id knock it on the head. Your already checking his verifications"
After three meets I'm aware that feelings could grow and it threw me x |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
"since using this place i think you should just enjoy falling for people, don't tell them, enjoy the moment coz it never lasts.
fall for someone else.
i really don't think the internet is a place to look for people who have any intention of investing themselves into you.
i actually think the way things are going there won't be any proper bonds between people any more coz everyone is easily disposable now. i can see it on here and other dating sites.
I met my husband online. Still together after 15 years
Not all people are in it for the short term. I'm sure there are plenty on here who have met on this site too.
I have met some genuinely lovely people on this site and some are looking for long term partners.
I do agree that there are many who aren't as well. "
even up to 5 yrs ago i'd have said it was easy enough to find someone for a relationship.
it's probably just coz i am using 'dating' sites that i can't tbh. the only circles i'm moving in are the ones where nobody has any sense of commitment. doesn't help they're usually already married. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Everyone here has an opinion or advice on other people's lives.
It's easy to be either flippant or give advice to another about their situation much harder when you as the party involved has to make the decisions.
All the advice in the world cannot and should not influence you...listening to others can just add to the confusion in your life.
There is no solution to this unless the two of you are prepared to be open and honest about your desires and expectations.
Our lives are not fixed in stone our choices dictate our futures and our futures are not guaranteed.
It's better to be happy for a day than to regret for ever.
I have no answer other than you both need to talk be honest be flexible and recognise that all things grow and change over time...
And if for you that is what you both seek then live today trust the future and hope for the dream to live forever.
Good luck OP... I hope you get your happy ending..
"
Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
Oh dear.
And... if he'd seen her after you and him had bumped uglies?
I hope he doesn't have pet rabbits!
Why does she have to be a bunny boiler just because it would sting a bit to see he had met someone else after her when she likes him?
You are a couple, you have each other. It's a completely different experience when you're totally single. You two have each other for emotional security and support. Don't need to throw shitty bunny boiler comments round. "
Agree, unnecessary comment!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You have to do what you think is best for you, weigh the risk....would you rather regret not finding out, or regret finding out the truth if its not what you want to hear. Personally, think he would be a fool to reject you J x"
Thank you. It's very scary!
You're a sweetheart x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I wouldn't say anything it's a bit early and feelings showing early on will cause alarm bells ringing. He will run off into arms of someone else .It's a swinging site most want nsa and that includes no emotional attachment .This is why some only do one offs .Wait and see enjoy his company . |
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"A sure sign that he wants to see you is when he makes the effort to contact you and makes time to be with you. Many times it's the non verbal messages that speak nice n clearly. Sit back and breath girl. Love & light for you x "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
Oh dear.
And... if he'd seen her after you and him had bumped uglies?
I hope he doesn't have pet rabbits!
Why does she have to be a bunny boiler just because it would sting a bit to see he had met someone else after her when she likes him?
You are a couple, you have each other. It's a completely different experience when you're totally single. You two have each other for emotional security and support. Don't need to throw shitty bunny boiler comments round. "
Im so embarrassed . I am far from a bunny boiler but had a 'moment' when I saw the veri from a fb to another woman. It wasn't that he met her. Far from it. In our whatsapp chats he kept trying to me how different I was etc. Then I saw him call the complete opposite of me the "something" of female perfection . So i went a bit weird and called him out on it and told him he was just like every other man on fab- telling woman what they think they want to hear. I felt stupid for getting upset with it. Then I felt stupid for believing what he told me. Thay certainly helped me "box away " the feelings! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
Oh dear.
And... if he'd seen her after you and him had bumped uglies?
I hope he doesn't have pet rabbits!
Why does she have to be a bunny boiler just because it would sting a bit to see he had met someone else after her when she likes him?
You are a couple, you have each other. It's a completely different experience when you're totally single. You two have each other for emotional security and support. Don't need to throw shitty bunny boiler comments round.
Im so embarrassed . I am far from a bunny boiler but had a 'moment' when I saw the veri from a fb to another woman. It wasn't that he met her. Far from it. In our whatsapp chats he kept trying to me how different I was etc. Then I saw him call the complete opposite of me the "something" of female perfection . So i went a bit weird and called him out on it and told him he was just like every other man on fab- telling woman what they think they want to hear. I felt stupid for getting upset with it. Then I felt stupid for believing what he told me. Thay certainly helped me "box away " the feelings!"
Just reinstates what I said earlier about this site enabling people to see everything. In normal circumstances you wouldn't know if the person you were romantically interested in was flirting with other women or meeting other women or even sleeping with them. I expect every woman would feel a twinge of some sort especially if then you were told a reason why they couldn't meet and then maybe they met someone else before you or whatever, it's going to make people feel shit.
That is why I strongly suggest people not to concentrate on one guy and have your finger in lots of different man pies, you don't have to let them all know there's others, but you'll know you have many options. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
Oh dear.
And... if he'd seen her after you and him had bumped uglies?
I hope he doesn't have pet rabbits!
Why does she have to be a bunny boiler just because it would sting a bit to see he had met someone else after her when she likes him?
You are a couple, you have each other. It's a completely different experience when you're totally single. You two have each other for emotional security and support. Don't need to throw shitty bunny boiler comments round.
Im so embarrassed . I am far from a bunny boiler but had a 'moment' when I saw the veri from a fb to another woman. It wasn't that he met her. Far from it. In our whatsapp chats he kept trying to me how different I was etc. Then I saw him call the complete opposite of me the "something" of female perfection . So i went a bit weird and called him out on it and told him he was just like every other man on fab- telling woman what they think they want to hear. I felt stupid for getting upset with it. Then I felt stupid for believing what he told me. Thay certainly helped me "box away " the feelings!
Just reinstates what I said earlier about this site enabling people to see everything. In normal circumstances you wouldn't know if the person you were romantically interested in was flirting with other women or meeting other women or even sleeping with them. I expect every woman would feel a twinge of some sort especially if then you were told a reason why they couldn't meet and then maybe they met someone else before you or whatever, it's going to make people feel shit.
That is why I strongly suggest people not to concentrate on one guy and have your finger in lots of different man pies, you don't have to let them all know there's others, but you'll know you have many options. "
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If you don't tell him and just block him then he'll wonder why. Best bet is to tell him how you feel, if he doesn't feel the same then you can both go your separate ways. No point being in a situation if it will mess you up and no point just blocking him for him to wonder what he's done. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
Oh dear.
And... if he'd seen her after you and him had bumped uglies?
I hope he doesn't have pet rabbits!
Why does she have to be a bunny boiler just because it would sting a bit to see he had met someone else after her when she likes him?
You are a couple, you have each other. It's a completely different experience when you're totally single. You two have each other for emotional security and support. Don't need to throw shitty bunny boiler comments round.
Im so embarrassed . I am far from a bunny boiler but had a 'moment' when I saw the veri from a fb to another woman. It wasn't that he met her. Far from it. In our whatsapp chats he kept trying to me how different I was etc. Then I saw him call the complete opposite of me the "something" of female perfection . So i went a bit weird and called him out on it and told him he was just like every other man on fab- telling woman what they think they want to hear. I felt stupid for getting upset with it. Then I felt stupid for believing what he told me. Thay certainly helped me "box away " the feelings!
Just reinstates what I said earlier about this site enabling people to see everything. In normal circumstances you wouldn't know if the person you were romantically interested in was flirting with other women or meeting other women or even sleeping with them. I expect every woman would feel a twinge of some sort especially if then you were told a reason why they couldn't meet and then maybe they met someone else before you or whatever, it's going to make people feel shit.
That is why I strongly suggest people not to concentrate on one guy and have your finger in lots of different man pies, you don't have to let them all know there's others, but you'll know you have many options.
"
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By *ngeluk69Woman
over a year ago
Near enough |
It's a very difficult situation to be in, trust me I know... feelings can make us react to things very strangely. Had a situation this weekend where I found something while I was with my fb and my reaction scared the wotsits out of me, and probably concerned him a little. But hey we talked about it, and I've gone through every single emotion about it. I've been anxious, insecure, laughed, cried, and been angry. I still don't know what to believe about it. The big difference is ive known him 2 years.
Sorry I don't have any real advice but if you think there are feelings developing, you are the only one who can deal with it, with or without him. It's early enough that you can either act on it or just walk away. Big hugs, it's not easy  |
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I'm a bloke, so maybe I'm too simplistic. But here's my 2p anyway.
Simply tell him you're ready for something exclusive with a guy and ask him what if anything he is looking for.
If he's thinking the same then you can explore that together.
If he dismisses it out of hand you have your answer and can make a decision to cut and run if you need to.
This approach has no reason to spook him.
I'm not a fan of "tactics" just get it out there and if it's meant to be it will be.
Good luck and fingers crossed for you xx |
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If you,ve got feelings and he might have too by not jumping into bed and holding back you,d find out how long it would be before he got bored any girls/women I,ve met the one,s looking for proper relationships would be the ones that shyed away from contact after the first few meets and not hands on when just looking for casual straight away In the real world you will find its harder to meet someone geninue who is looking for the same and then have feelings for one another along with being compatible together than somebody who is not but That I think is worth waiting for and I have been waiting for 40 years so it does,nt happen overnight. |
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"If you have these feelings you'll only kick yourself if you don't say anything and it fizzles out.
By telling him how you feel the only thing you can lose is something you were never going to have......if that makes sense"
That's a good point actually - if a man is frightened off by feelings is he worth having them for anyway? Even so, my feeling is never to force anything at the start of a relationship, to see what develops naturally lol! |
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By *huckzMan
over a year ago
spalding |
"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on? ............way too early for feelings. ....like him yes I can understand that but 3 meets? You will be boiling his bunny if he says thks but no thanks lol
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's a very difficult situation to be in, trust me I know... feelings can make us react to things very strangely. Had a situation this weekend where I found something while I was with my fb and my reaction scared the wotsits out of me, and probably concerned him a little. But hey we talked about it, and I've gone through every single emotion about it. I've been anxious, insecure, laughed, cried, and been angry. I still don't know what to believe about it. The big difference is ive known him 2 years.
Sorry I don't have any real advice but if you think there are feelings developing, you are the only one who can deal with it, with or without him. It's early enough that you can either act on it or just walk away. Big hugs, it's not easy "
Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm a bloke, so maybe I'm too simplistic. But here's my 2p anyway.
Simply tell him you're ready for something exclusive with a guy and ask him what if anything he is looking for.
If he's thinking the same then you can explore that together.
If he dismisses it out of hand you have your answer and can make a decision to cut and run if you need to.
This approach has no reason to spook him.
I'm not a fan of "tactics" just get it out there and if it's meant to be it will be.
Good luck and fingers crossed for you xx"
x |
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"3 meets and you got feelings? Id knock it on the head. Your already checking his verifications
After three meets I'm aware that feelings could grow and it threw me x"
Nothing wrong with that at all - I've known I loved people by the third time I met them, heck I've had strong feeling and a deep connection before we've even met on occasion. There's no need to run from feelings, they are something a healthy adult should experience - it's just wise to keep the handbrake on until you know how the other person feels. |
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"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
Oh dear.
And... if he'd seen her after you and him had bumped uglies?
I hope he doesn't have pet rabbits!
I don't know! Seeing the veri gave me butterflies. I'm the opposite of a bunny boiler hence the question I initially asked!"
Ok, so maybe the bunnies thing was a little harsh.
However, it does sound like you are smitten, and things can go very sideways very quickly when feelings like that are bouncing around.
I'd tell him, as soon as possible, before you get in too deep.
It would be great if he felt the same, but equally importantly its best to get this out in the open now, so at least if he is going to back off, you don't get too hurt.
I'm a bit of a sucker for a "happy ever after" story, so I hope he feels the same.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Listen flower, if you block him you'll never know what may have been will you. Bite the bullet and tell him, he's only human too, no man is immune to feelings. Best to do it now before you get in too deep so if it's a no from him you won't get too hurt, good luck x |
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"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
Oh dear.
And... if he'd seen her after you and him had bumped uglies?
I hope he doesn't have pet rabbits!
Why does she have to be a bunny boiler just because it would sting a bit to see he had met someone else after her when she likes him?
You are a couple, you have each other. It's a completely different experience when you're totally single. You two have each other for emotional security and support. Don't need to throw shitty bunny boiler comments round. "
The bunnies thing was meant to be tongue in cheek, but I get that it didn't come across like that.
I know people are on here for different things, and I also know that people can have lasting fulfilling relationships from meeting on here.
However, for the most part, its about swinging, and he's only doing what guys do on here.
The OP herself said she isn't looking for a relationship, but admits that seeing the veri made her stomach do a flip, so it sounds like whilst she wasn't looking for "it", "it" has found her.
I think she should tell him, before she gets in too deep, at least she will know one way or the other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Keep seeing him and don't read this veris
Too late! He's just put up a new veri but he'd seen her before our play meet
Oh dear.
And... if he'd seen her after you and him had bumped uglies?
I hope he doesn't have pet rabbits!
Why does she have to be a bunny boiler just because it would sting a bit to see he had met someone else after her when she likes him?
You are a couple, you have each other. It's a completely different experience when you're totally single. You two have each other for emotional security and support. Don't need to throw shitty bunny boiler comments round.
The bunnies thing was meant to be tongue in cheek, but I get that it didn't come across like that.
I know people are on here for different things, and I also know that people can have lasting fulfilling relationships from meeting on here.
However, for the most part, its about swinging, and he's only doing what guys do on here.
The OP herself said she isn't looking for a relationship, but admits that seeing the veri made her stomach do a flip, so it sounds like whilst she wasn't looking for "it", "it" has found her.
I think she should tell him, before she gets in too deep, at least she will know one way or the other."
I think the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd cool down on any chat etc. Some guys don't like to be chased others do. If he's in the latter one it will fuck he's head up and he will soon come crawling if he's interested |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd cool down on any chat etc. Some guys don't like to be chased others do. If he's in the latter one it will fuck he's head up and he will soon come crawling if he's interested "
Unless he's on a good thing on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd cool down on any chat etc. Some guys don't like to be chased others do. If he's in the latter one it will fuck he's head up and he will soon come crawling if he's interested
Unless he's on a good thing on here "
I don't follow you're comment  |
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"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x"
Ask complete strangers on the internet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd cool down on any chat etc. Some guys don't like to be chased others do. If he's in the latter one it will fuck he's head up and he will soon come crawling if he's interested
Unless he's on a good thing on here
I don't follow you're comment
"
Well if he's getting lots of attention he might think do I need a relationship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd cool down on any chat etc. Some guys don't like to be chased others do. If he's in the latter one it will fuck he's head up and he will soon come crawling if he's interested
Unless he's on a good thing on here
I don't follow you're comment
Well if he's getting lots of attention he might think do I need a relationship "
I meant from op. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd cool down on any chat etc. Some guys don't like to be chased others do. If he's in the latter one it will fuck he's head up and he will soon come crawling if he's interested
Unless he's on a good thing on here
I don't follow you're comment
Well if he's getting lots of attention he might think do I need a relationship
I meant from op. "
Oops multi tasking I will butt out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd cool down on any chat etc. Some guys don't like to be chased others do. If he's in the latter one it will fuck he's head up and he will soon come crawling if he's interested
Unless he's on a good thing on here
I don't follow you're comment
Well if he's getting lots of attention he might think do I need a relationship
I meant from op.
Oops multi tasking I will butt out "
Nah I totally get you. Can be difficult to understand comments on here at times. I'm the worst for it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd cool down on any chat etc. Some guys don't like to be chased others do. If he's in the latter one it will fuck he's head up and he will soon come crawling if he's interested
Unless he's on a good thing on here
I don't follow you're comment
Well if he's getting lots of attention he might think do I need a relationship
I meant from op.
Oops multi tasking I will butt out
Nah I totally get you. Can be difficult to understand comments on here at times. I'm the worst for it "
Thanks but I'm butting out been in that situation and lost out that's why I said just do it or feeling run high and well not always a good outcome but fingers crossed it will turn out well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x"
opposites attract they say. So follow your heart before he has more meets. If it hurts and annoys you him meeting other ladies then you have to tell him how you feel plus he might feel the same way. But I believe in the first kiss. If that's good then I know it will work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
For what it's worth , there was a thread this morning about lost loves and missed chances.
Whilst he may not necessarily be yours , there's nothing wrong in finding out where things could go, you never know you might be pleasantly surprised
Hope it goes well OP
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x
Ask complete strangers on the internet "
I'd say the OP's post is more valid than some of the shit you've created threads about. It's a forum and the regulars on here consider each other friends so it's not a case of asking total strangers. My old gran used to say "if you've got nothing good to say then say nothing at all" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x"
If was me I would just come out and say it, you haven't really got a lot to lose apart from the start of some feelings. I'm sure if you have met a few times he is starting to feel something back as well. Good luck x |
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"Advice please
Met a fella a couple of times for socials and one play meet
I know if I see him again I will be lost as I already have feelings
To I tell him or block him and move on?
This is the complete opposite of what I have been looking for and I'm flummoxed by it x
If was me I would just come out and say it, you haven't really got a lot to lose apart from the start of some feelings. I'm sure if you have met a few times he is starting to feel something back as well. Good luck x"
go with it .. enjoy the ride xxx
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Oh blimey
Posters now seem to be suggesting I tell him.
Not sure if I'm more or less confused now!
Thank you all for your comments
I'll get another thread on the go if and when there's an outcome
I'm too scared to say anything! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh blimey
Posters now seem to be suggesting I tell him.
Not sure if I'm more or less confused now!
Thank you all for your comments
I'll get another thread on the go if and when there's an outcome
I'm too scared to say anything!
x"
If he reads threads he will know |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh blimey
Posters now seem to be suggesting I tell him.
Not sure if I'm more or less confused now!
Thank you all for your comments
I'll get another thread on the go if and when there's an outcome
I'm too scared to say anything!
x
If he reads threads he will know "
I'm not sure he does and if he did he would know I'm referring to him x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh blimey
Posters now seem to be suggesting I tell him.
Not sure if I'm more or less confused now!
Thank you all for your comments
I'll get another thread on the go if and when there's an outcome
I'm too scared to say anything!
x
If he reads threads he will know
I'm not sure he does and if he did he would know I'm referring to him x"
You're 52 years of age love, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow, life is short, just tell the man how you feel. And I wish I took my own bloody advice x |
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Have a vague conversation about swinging and relationships. If I really like someone (rare), I mention how much I respect swinging couples or those who've met here. How I'd like a primary partner but don't think I could give up swinging etc.. Can usually gauge what they think from their response.
I fell for my long term FWB, wasn't reciprocal, had a break, got over it, now one of my best mates. Good luck either way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh blimey
Posters now seem to be suggesting I tell him.
Not sure if I'm more or less confused now!
Thank you all for your comments
I'll get another thread on the go if and when there's an outcome
I'm too scared to say anything!
x
If he reads threads he will know
I'm not sure he does and if he did he would know I'm referring to him x
You're 52 years of age love, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow, life is short, just tell the man how you feel. And I wish I took my own bloody advice x"
Ditto |
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"I'm not even sure it's a relationship I want! I'd like to see him exclusively but don't want to move in get married lol"
Not trying to be mean but this is what I avoid on fab from men. This is a site primarily to meet different people to have sex with. When one person decides they want to be "exclusive" thats totally moving the goal posts and think its really unfair for the person on the recieving end. They end up feeling quilty and awkward if its not what theyre looking for too and theyre really not the bad guy. Most people arent on here searching for "the one" surely? On a side note I hope everythig works out how you want OP. I do love a happy ending too x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh blimey
Posters now seem to be suggesting I tell him.
Not sure if I'm more or less confused now!
Thank you all for your comments
I'll get another thread on the go if and when there's an outcome
I'm too scared to say anything!
x
If he reads threads he will know
I'm not sure he does and if he did he would know I'm referring to him x
You're 52 years of age love, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow, life is short, just tell the man how you feel. And I wish I took my own bloody advice x"
Lol I know. I'm great at giving advice but rarely take my own! x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not even sure it's a relationship I want! I'd like to see him exclusively but don't want to move in get married lol Not trying to be mean but this is what I avoid on fab from men. This is a site primarily to meet different people to have sex with. When one person decides they want to be "exclusive" thats totally moving the goal posts and think its really unfair for the person on the recieving end. They end up feeling quilty and awkward if its not what theyre looking for too and theyre really not the bad guy. Most people arent on here searching for "the one" surely? On a side note I hope everythig works out how you want OP. I do love a happy ending too x"
I don't want to go into the conversations we had but it sounded like he was looking for more. He only has veris from two women and one of them is me
I wasn't searching for the one just having a fabulous time. That's why it's thrown me x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Have a vague conversation about swinging and relationships. If I really like someone (rare), I mention how much I respect swinging couples or those who've met here. How I'd like a primary partner but don't think I could give up swinging etc.. Can usually gauge what they think from their response.
I fell for my long term FWB, wasn't reciprocal, had a break, got over it, now one of my best mates. Good luck either way "
Thank you x |
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"I'm not even sure it's a relationship I want! I'd like to see him exclusively but don't want to move in get married lol Not trying to be mean but this is what I avoid on fab from men. This is a site primarily to meet different people to have sex with. When one person decides they want to be "exclusive" thats totally moving the goal posts and think its really unfair for the person on the recieving end. They end up feeling quilty and awkward if its not what theyre looking for too and theyre really not the bad guy. Most people arent on here searching for "the one" surely? On a side note I hope everythig works out how you want OP. I do love a happy ending too x
I don't want to go into the conversations we had but it sounded like he was looking for more. He only has veris from two women and one of them is me
"
Yeah I like it when I find one of those guys too lol!  |
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I wish I had the answers 