FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Ever found out something about somebody you wish you hadn't and don't know what to do know?
Ever found out something about somebody you wish you hadn't and don't know what to do know?
Jump to: Newest in thread
We've recently befriended a guy socially, who seems ok. Over a drink he said something that peeked our curiosity, so we decided to "Google him". This took us to a well known Social media site which confirmed his identity & lot of other info that he'd spoken about with us. So far so good until we started reading his posts & came across one that disturbed us. It was a picture of a Union Jack with some slogans on it, whilst we'd never heard of said party it's quite obvious what they stand for!
Now hindsight is a wonderful thing but we can't turn the clock back & don't know what to do now.
We are seeing him at a social gathering on Saturday, guess we'll just have to pretend we don't know anything, but moving on it's going to be difficult. This is not Fab related. Anybody had a similar experience? Thanks. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Could always make small talk about it. "Hey we Googled you and saw some interesting things. You said [insert despicable quote here]. What did you mean by that, or did you really mean that?"  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Be civil but don't spend more time with him than you need to.
I have put a big distance between a "friend" and myself in similar circumstances. Their good qualities that you appreciated are still there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Personally I'd be "civil" in a minimast way tbh if he wouldn't engage the subject but that's just me if I need to explain why "you're not for me" I will even though personally I really dislike confrontation if I'm right in in thinking what you mean, the world doesn't change necessarily by confrontation but by discussion of and change of views .. the choice to discuss or not is purely yours  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Then don't move on. Be civil but no need to get any closer, wide berth.
I've kicked a chap from my flat for being a homophobe and could never knowingly shag a Tory, let alone a white supremacist "
Tories here. put us on your block list. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You never have to provide any reason for changing your mind. Someone no longer interests you, then alter or close the relationship.
I've had discoveries of varying sorts and sometimes shared some details with a friend if perturbing. Otherwise I meet lots of people broadly in life and let many disappear. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Then don't move on. Be civil but no need to get any closer, wide berth.
I've kicked a chap from my flat for being a homophobe and could never knowingly shag a Tory, let alone a white supremacist
Tories here. put us on your block list."
Ah you've already saved me the bother. Cool. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not come across any axe killers or similar in all my time on fab
Isn't this just a little subjective? The things that may be considered unacceptable in the extreme by some are seen as just a part of life by others.
Perhaps the over-reliance on Google and social media and snippets of information rather than the full facts being used to inform our decision making and opinions should be tempered by respecting the privacy of the individual the recognition that we are all fallible and that it's part of the human condition that we all change as we grow as people.
Or as one theological txt puts it...
Let them without sin cast the first stone.
Intolerance and prejudice simply create intolerance and prejudice and I am convinced that every single person on here has parts of their lives they would not wish put up to public scrutiny.
I believe in accepting people as I find them and learn about them and like everyone here consider certain things unacceptable but those things I find distastful others may accept...within some clear social and legal parameters.
If I consider that someone breached my own beliefs and values then it simple...i don't need to interact with them ...thats a personal and subjective view for anyone to take.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
In a kind of tangent to previous posts, i wish i hadn't found out that the famous poster of the tennis player with her bare arse showing is actually a bloke.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Either be open and discuss it and seek clarity so that you can make a decision..... or end it and move on...... it obviously disturbs you so ignoring it isnt an option....
Personaly having fought against white supremacy in South Africa for years I find it abhorant and intolerable and wouldent associate with anyone who has alt right tendencies, never mind affiliations....... but your life, your choices....
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
All of that because of a share on a social media site?
Quick to judge aren't we?
If his page was full of it and he followed the supposed groups whole hartedly, then it would suggest he was really into that side of things.
He may have just shared it without thinking about the full ramifications! A heat of the moment share that may have seemed right at the time (maybe after a terrorist attack?).
Seems a little "stalker-ish" to me. If he'd wanted you to "friend" him, I'm sure he would have invited you? Instead, you've snooped around!!!
I have my social media set to the highest security settings because of people like you!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"All of that because of a share on a social media site?
Quick to judge aren't we?
If his page was full of it and he followed the supposed groups whole hartedly, then it would suggest he was really into that side of things.
He may have just shared it without thinking about the full ramifications! A heat of the moment share that may have seemed right at the time (maybe after a terrorist attack?).
Seems a little "stalker-ish" to me. If he'd wanted you to "friend" him, I'm sure he would have invited you? Instead, you've snooped around!!!
I have my social media set to the highest security settings because of people like you!! "
People like you huh, so those who have settings set to high have something to hide? Are they not the same as people who object to cctv watching them all the time, who claim they're doing nothing wrong?
So looking up somebody, who wants to be part of our life is considered snooping, well pardon me for breathing. Yes I wish I hadn't "snooped" but also glad that I did, even though it's potentially going to cause some awkwardness. We are not going to go out of our way to be friends with him, but similarly there will be social engagements when he'll be there, so can't avoid him totally. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes I have things to hide, my privacy and that of my family and friends!!
One little post on social media and all of a sudden this poor guy is a "white supremacists"?? Get a grip.
Let's just don our white pointy hats and hunt him down.  oh yeah that makes us as bad as him?
What happened before social media and Google??
Up until that point you thought he was a good guy? Has he attempted to "turn" you? Spouted a load of crap and tried to force his opinion on you?
I don't share the same opinion with lots of people but that doesn't mean I'm not friends with them. My friendship group is very diverse with age and beliefs. It makes for very good company. Great conversation and debate with everyone listening and understanding of each others points of view.
Haterad begets haterad.
Small minded people should stick together. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rrol.BMan
over a year ago
Wrexham |
I once discovered that my boss at the time was actually four cats operating a human suit.
I'd had a feeling something was up for a while: choices were made less on sound financial logic and more about how many fish might be achieved.
I used the knowledge to my advantage, I'd always make his coffee extra creamy, mentions of yarn and killing small birds in my reports. An executive scratching post for Christmas.
I was eventually promoted up and out of that department. My new boss really seems to have it in for the old boss though. Barking orders about how we have to pick up the other departments slack, growling obscenities. I'll figure him out one day. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not come across any axe killers or similar in all my time on fab
Isn't this just a little subjective? The things that may be considered unacceptable in the extreme by some are seen as just a part of life by others.
Perhaps the over-reliance on Google and social media and snippets of information rather than the full facts being used to inform our decision making and opinions should be tempered by respecting the privacy of the individual the recognition that we are all fallible and that it's part of the human condition that we all change as we grow as people.
Or as one theological txt puts it...
Let them without sin cast the first stone.
Intolerance and prejudice simply create intolerance and prejudice and I am convinced that every single person on here has parts of their lives they would not wish put up to public scrutiny.
I believe in accepting people as I find them and learn about them and like everyone here consider certain things unacceptable but those things I find distastful others may accept...within some clear social and legal parameters.
If I consider that someone breached my own beliefs and values then it simple...i don't need to interact with them ...thats a personal and subjective view for anyone to take."
What he said ^^^^^ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I once discovered that my boss at the time was actually four cats operating a human suit.
I'd had a feeling something was up for a while: choices were made less on sound financial logic and more about how many fish might be achieved.
I used the knowledge to my advantage, I'd always make his coffee extra creamy, mentions of yarn and killing small birds in my reports. An executive scratching post for Christmas.
I was eventually promoted up and out of that department. My new boss really seems to have it in for the old boss though. Barking orders about how we have to pick up the other departments slack, growling obscenities. I'll figure him out one day."
An Uber taxi dermist got nothing on you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you really drill down into people you start to get to know on here, you are probably going to find something you don't like, we all have opinions, likes and dislikes. If what you found offends you, are puts you off him, then give him a swerve. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
