1) Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2) Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo woo" sound.
3) Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror, scratch your privates.
4) Get in the shower.
5) Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
6) Wash your face.
7) Wash your armpits.
8) Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
9) Wash your privates and surrounding area.
10) Wash your butt, leaving hair on the soap bar.
11) Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
12) Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13) Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
14) Pee.
15) Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
16) Partially dry off.
17) Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener size again.
18) Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
19) Leave bathroom fan and light on.
20) Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, grab your wiener, go "Yeah baby" and thrust your pelvis at her.
21) Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed. Think about the old days and mutter just audibly "Why isn't my favourite shirt ironed?". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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far too much detail there, real men get a shower like this :
1. Strip
2. Put shower on and get in
3. Get washed from head to toe with the same shower gel/soap
4. Shower off
5. Dried, dressed and out of the door.
All of this should take a real man 15 mins or less, otherwise he will be deemed 'metrosexual' and thus totally justified in the ribbing your mates in the pub will give you.
Under no circumstances whatsoever should a man use moisturiser etc as this will severely lessen manlyness.
(man gospel according to ste, chapter 1 verse 7) |
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no matter how many times i read that its still hysterically funny.
I had a full length mirror in my bedroom until i broke it, i shant mention the percentage of my gentleman friends that havent at some time flexed their muscles tucked in there gut and admired themselves lol |
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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago
near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack! |
"1) Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2) Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo woo" sound.
3) Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror, scratch your privates.
4) Get in the shower.
5) Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
6) Wash your face.
7) Wash your armpits.
8) Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
9) Wash your privates and surrounding area.
10) Wash your butt, leaving hair on the soap bar.
11) Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
12) Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13) Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.
14) Pee.
15) Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
16) Partially dry off.
17) Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener size again.
18) Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
19) Leave bathroom fan and light on.
20) Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, grab your wiener, go "Yeah baby" and thrust your pelvis at her.
21) Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed. Think about the old days and mutter just audibly "Why isn't my favourite shirt ironed?"."
You forgot the "draw a cock and balls shape on the misted up mirror" bit! |
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