FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Child birth vs kicked in the balls
Child birth vs kicked in the balls
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you ever been kicked in the balls for four hours straight, needed stitches, and been condescended to by someone who has never been kicked in the balls?
I'm no white knight, but it's a bit of a silly question if you ask me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth . "
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest "
ok well its pain like no other .. that's if you have no pain killer . lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say child birth because a kick to the balls is surely like a kick to anywhere sensitive on your body, yeah it will hurt briefly but you know the pain will stop and where it's coming from.
My labour started at 8:30am on a Wednesday morning and I gave birth at 3:55am Thursday morning. Contractions are like a wave of pain that comes over your body and then peaks it the highest point of pain where you feel like you're gonna rip in half or die then they subside. The whole thing feels like you're gonna rip in half. |
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And every childbirth is different anyway. I had one which was such a relative doddle that I'd describe it as mildly uncomfortable - by comparison gallstone attacks were far far worse. And another that was an unrelenting nightmare of pain and fear which had me going back on my 'no drugs' policy instantly ... |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest "
You sound like Mr Ruggers, he describes it as easy as shelling peas |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd say child birth because a kick to the balls is surely like a kick to anywhere sensitive on your body, yeah it will hurt briefly but you know the pain will stop and where it's coming from.
My labour started at 8:30am on a Wednesday morning and I gave birth at 3:55am Thursday morning. Contractions are like a wave of pain that comes over your body and then peaks it the highest point of pain where you feel like you're gonna rip in half or die then they subside. The whole thing feels like you're gonna rip in half. "
yes I feel your pain . xxx  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest ok well its pain like no other .. that's if you have no pain killer . lol "
At least you get the option of pain killers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest ok well its pain like no other .. that's if you have no pain killer . lol
At least you get the option of pain killers "
Take a bloody paracetamol after then!
Omg. Until you know the pain as you tear whilst your babies head splits the fragile skin on your foof and then endure a week of crying like a baby because each time you go to the toilet it either burns like hell when you wee or feels like you're about to rip open again if you need a poo (breathe) then you can't possibly compare the two.
Phew  |
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Never experienced either. However I have crps which is rated as more painful than childbirth on the McGill pain scale. Sounds like childbirth isn't too bad if that's the case. And when I bang my leg, the pain I experience is apparently (according to 4 different men) similar to being kicked in the balls. Who knows. Maybe swap bodies with someone and find out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest ok well its pain like no other .. that's if you have no pain killer . lol
At least you get the option of pain killers
Take a bloody paracetamol after then!
Omg. Until you know the pain as you tear whilst your babies head splits the fragile skin on your foof and then endure a week of crying like a baby because each time you go to the toilet it either burns like hell when you wee or feels like you're about to rip open again if you need a poo (breathe) then you can't possibly compare the two.
Phew "
If I ever see a woman at the height of labour I'll see if she wants a paracetamol
I can already see the reaction I'd get |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest ok well its pain like no other .. that's if you have no pain killer . lol
At least you get the option of pain killers
Take a bloody paracetamol after then!
Omg. Until you know the pain as you tear whilst your babies head splits the fragile skin on your foof and then endure a week of crying like a baby because each time you go to the toilet it either burns like hell when you wee or feels like you're about to rip open again if you need a poo (breathe) then you can't possibly compare the two.
Phew
If I ever see a woman at the height of labour I'll see if she wants a paracetamol
I can already see the reaction I'd get"
I dare you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having witness two childbirths I would say that is the most painful, I've been whacked in the bollocks a few times over the years and the pain was intense, but only lasted about 5 minutes. Labour is usually a lot longer than that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kicked in the balls is worsed, the reason we know this is because when a man has been kicked in the balls he doesn't say 18 months later tell you what i want, it's to be kicked right in the balls again |
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It makes me laugh how offended some women are getting by what is quite obviously a joke thread. I'll add to the fire and see who takes the bait.
You never hear a man say 'id really like another kick in the balls' but you'll hear a lot of women wanting another child |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"Take a bloody paracetamol after then!
Omg. Until you know the pain as you tear whilst your babies head splits the fragile skin on your foof and then endure a week of crying like a baby because each time you go to the toilet it either burns like hell when you wee or feels like you're about to rip open again if you need a poo (breathe) then you can't possibly compare the two.
Phew "
 I did not know this about toilet issues after birth.
Urrrggle. I might have to go through this one day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And every childbirth is different anyway. I had one which was such a relative doddle that I'd describe it as mildly uncomfortable - by comparison gallstone attacks were far far worse. And another that was an unrelenting nightmare of pain and fear which had me going back on my 'no drugs' policy instantly ... "
Gosh I'd rather have another baby than another gallstone attack. Morphine is your friend.
Funny watching the videos of men hooked up to machines that simulate contractions |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It makes me laugh how offended some women are getting by what is quite obviously a joke thread. I'll add to the fire and see who takes the bait.
You never hear a man say 'id really like another kick in the balls' but you'll hear a lot of women wanting another child "
I am loving the op today he has made me smile ... its a bit like Monty Python here today . |
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I've been knee'd full force in the balls by a thai boxer when sparring with no groin guard.
Had to sit on floor and meditate with tears in my eyes for quite a while after that. It's a debilitating kind of pain.
Still I reckon having another human squeeze out of you must be much worse. Can't even imagine what that must be like! They'll never be a comparison with childbirth. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It makes me laugh how offended some women are getting by what is quite obviously a joke thread. I'll add to the fire and see who takes the bait.
You never hear a man say 'id really like another kick in the balls' but you'll hear a lot of women wanting another child I am loving the op today he has made me smile ... its a bit like Monty Python here today . "
Glad you've got a sense of humour, unlike some  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It makes me laugh how offended some women are getting by what is quite obviously a joke thread. I'll add to the fire and see who takes the bait.
You never hear a man say 'id really like another kick in the balls' but you'll hear a lot of women wanting another child I am loving the op today he has made me smile ... its a bit like Monty Python here today .
Glad you've got a sense of humour, unlike some "
Pfft
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest ok well its pain like no other .. that's if you have no pain killer . lol
At least you get the option of pain killers "
Not always. Believe me I know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is a tongue in cheek post by the looks of it, but even if it was serious, don't attack the man. "
Who's attacking him? I've re-read it loads and can't see anyone really being serious
If I was really cross about it I'd have called him a w****r by now
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone has differing pain thresholds, so it would be difficult to compare.
I've given birth twice, it wasn't fun but the result at the end was well worth it.
After being kicked in the bollocks, all you've got to look forward to is sore, bruised bollocks for a few days.
Btw I was cut and had external and internal stitches and going to the toilet after was a piece of piss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take a bloody paracetamol after then!
Omg. Until you know the pain as you tear whilst your babies head splits the fragile skin on your foof and then endure a week of crying like a baby because each time you go to the toilet it either burns like hell when you wee or feels like you're about to rip open again if you need a poo (breathe) then you can't possibly compare the two.
Phew
I did not know this about toilet issues after birth.
Urrrggle. I might have to go through this one day."
Pee whilst pouring a jug of warm water over nether regions at same time....... dilutes the urine, so less acidic, less pain  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can I make an addition here?
Can we add in the pain level when waxing around your ankle/lower leg?
That proper smarts
Male or female, wax does not discriminate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It makes me laugh how offended some women are getting by what is quite obviously a joke thread. I'll add to the fire and see who takes the bait.
You never hear a man say 'id really like another kick in the balls' but you'll hear a lot of women wanting another child "
Speak for yourself |
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"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest "
I bet you didn't feel a thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone has differing pain thresholds, so it would be difficult to compare.
I've given birth twice, it wasn't fun but the result at the end was well worth it.
After being kicked in the bollocks, all you've got to look forward to is sore, bruised bollocks for a few days.
Btw I was cut and had external and internal stitches and going to the toilet after was a piece of piss "
I had this. Had to pee in the bath for two weeks after, because I felt like my foof was on fire if I didn't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have heard many women say...I thing we will have another baby.
Never hear a guy say...I think I want another Kick in the bollox.
Case closed. "
But it's kind of like an outer body experience as well like if you've ever been in a car crash and that moment just before you crash, it's like that when you're giving birth, you know it's happeneing but the world around you is just weird then you get your baby for the first time and nothing compares to that moment. The pain and everything just goes away! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest
I bet you didn't feel a thing "
I was enjoying a kit kat chunky while it was all going off. Not a problem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest
I bet you didn't feel a thing
I was enjoying a kit kat chunky while it was all going off. Not a problem "
There I was thinking you loved cake ... lol |
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"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest
I bet you didn't feel a thing
I was enjoying a kit kat chunky while it was all going off. Not a problem "
Well the midwives are always telling you to relax. |
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48hrs of labour with no 1 and 27 internal stitches as he came out backwards.
Emergency CS with no 2, I heamoraged and flatlined twice. No memory of next 3days after his birth as on life support.
CS with no 3 as he was breach.
I'll take a kick anywhere anytime rather than go through that again |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest
I bet you didn't feel a thing
I was enjoying a kit kat chunky while it was all going off. Not a problem There I was thinking you loved cake ... lol "
Between me and you, I'm really not a fan of cake |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest
I bet you didn't feel a thing
I was enjoying a kit kat chunky while it was all going off. Not a problem
Well the midwives are always telling you to relax. "
Exactly, do what the midwives tell you and its a breeze  women just like to make it difficult for themselves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest
I bet you didn't feel a thing
I was enjoying a kit kat chunky while it was all going off. Not a problem There I was thinking you loved cake ... lol
Between me and you, I'm really not a fan of cake "
ooooo now you go and let yourself down saying that ... I love making cakes . lol |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"It is a tongue in cheek post by the looks of it, but even if it was serious, don't attack the man.
Who's attacking him? I've re-read it loads and can't see anyone really being serious
If I was really cross about it I'd have called him a w****r by now
"
The person on the post I removed |
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"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest
I bet you didn't feel a thing
I was enjoying a kit kat chunky while it was all going off. Not a problem
Well the midwives are always telling you to relax.
Exactly, do what the midwives tell you and its a breeze women just like to make it difficult for themselves "
I know right. After all men are pushing 8lb rugby balls out of their arses and then getting up, strapping them to their backs and carrying on with their lives. If you ask me us women just make a fuss so we can get the gas and air and family allowance... |
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"Child birth some have hours of real pain ... and after still in pain from there bits splitting .. and we are told salt bath ooo the pain . op I hope one day you get too see a birth .
I've seen a birth, up close and personal. Don't see what the big issue is to be honest "
My ex-husband nearly experienced a kick in the balls after having three stitches in his thumb after slicing it whilst filleting fish.
Returning from hospital he raised his thumb and said, don't know what you were complaining about...stitches aren't that bad.
Did I mention the first birth I tore and had 10 stitches in my nether regions followed by three cesareans...yet he was comparing!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It is a tongue in cheek post by the looks of it, but even if it was serious, don't attack the man.
Who's attacking him? I've re-read it loads and can't see anyone really being serious
If I was really cross about it I'd have called him a w****r by now
The person on the post I removed"
Could have left it for me. I can take what I give |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I imagine a kick to the balls is worse. The pain must stay in memory longer or else it would all be 1 child families!"
Yes but if the only way you could have a baby was receiving a kick to the balls then everyone would have kicks to the balls, childbirth is a pain you have to go through to get your baby. You don't get fuck all for having a kick to the balls so it's a pointless pain.
I know it's a tongue in cheek post but it was my proudest and most meaningful achievement, it's kind of shitty to have the piss taken out of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is a tongue in cheek post by the looks of it, but even if it was serious, don't attack the man.
Who's attacking him? I've re-read it loads and can't see anyone really being serious
If I was really cross about it I'd have called him a w****r by now
The person on the post I removed
Could have left it for me. I can take what I give "
cream cake .. choc cake and cup cakes . lol now I know your not really into cake . |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
I imagine as I don't have a pair of balls being kicked in them hurts some what.
I know who painfull child birth is.
The slow labour for 13 days followed by the full on contractions, the feeling your stomach wants to escape,the burning and stretching of your lady bits. The baby pressing on your bowels and bladder inbetween contractions and feeling them being ducked back up to each push seemed to be making no difference.
It's physically and mentally exhausting.
Being torn as this 45cm is trying to get out a 9 cm dilated cervix. Shredding my scar tissue.
You finally give birth them the joy of more contractions for the placenta.
The burning for days when needing a wee or poo.
Plus I dislocated my hip with my first so I had that pain, no pain relief.
Painfull but worth it.
Yes we women go one to have more and it still hurts.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I imagine a kick to the balls is worse. The pain must stay in memory longer or else it would all be 1 child families!"
If someone offered you 1 million pounds to take a kick to the balls, would you accept? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I imagine a kick to the balls is worse. The pain must stay in memory longer or else it would all be 1 child families!
If someone offered you 1 million pounds to take a kick to the balls, would you accept?"
I'd be interested, depends who's doing the kicking though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I imagine a kick to the balls is worse. The pain must stay in memory longer or else it would all be 1 child families!
If someone offered you 1 million pounds to take a kick to the balls, would you accept?
I'd be interested, depends who's doing the kicking though"
A nurse. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I imagine a kick to the balls is worse. The pain must stay in memory longer or else it would all be 1 child families!
If someone offered you 1 million pounds to take a kick to the balls, would you accept?
I'd be interested, depends who's doing the kicking though
A nurse."
Then yes. If it was Connor MacGregor some Thai Kickboxer than no I probably wouldn't |
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The birth bit was the easy bit... it was the discomfort of going to the loo for days afterwards that was the real pain
Sorry to the rest of the ladies... I am really strange and didn't even know I was in labour until they told me (6pm)... I only had proper bad pain for the last hour (from about 9am next day) and the gas n air did a great job with that
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Which pain is worse?
Discuss
First. Goes on for at least 18 years and with cost of housing prob for ever."
You just single handed changed my entire opinion with one sentence |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I have been told (no doubt by someone reading it on the internet) that ear infection is supposed to be the worse pain ever. Having had both a baby and an ear infection, I am hard pushed to decide which was worse.
Although the outcome of childbirth was a lovely child who is fun to be with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Which pain is worse?
Discuss "
A kick to the balls, obviously.
No man in his right mind wants kicked in the balls, but women will insist on having babies, even aftet the first time. Madness, I calls it, madness
(There is no "tongue in cheek emoji). |
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By *K430Man
over a year ago
Tipperary |
Probably childbirth to be fair , but a slap in the balls with the right object believe me is never forgotten. An example is a wet sliothar ( hurling ball) in Ireland, equivalent of a cricket ball here, hit at great speed from a very short distance, still brings a tear to my eye |
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"I'd say child birth because a kick to the balls is surely like a kick to anywhere sensitive on your body, yeah it will hurt briefly but you know the pain will stop and where it's coming from.
My labour started at 8:30am on a Wednesday morning and I gave birth at 3:55am Thursday morning. Contractions are like a wave of pain that comes over your body and then peaks it the highest point of pain where you feel like you're gonna rip in half or die then they subside. The whole thing feels like you're gonna rip in half. "
I totally agree.. Childbirth is unbearable but you know you have got to bear it and can go on for hours and hours.. A kick in the balls subsides after a few minutes.. kinda like having just one contraction. If the comparison was being kicked in the balls every few minutes for several hours then trying to pass a melon through their rectum there would be some similarities |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A couple of years after giving birth a lot of women start to think, I really want another baby. That'd be nice
There's not many blokes out there who'd say. You know what'd be really nice......I really fancy another kick in the bollocks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Speaking with a nurse while my wife was in labour I asked her a similar question about pain thresholds and her reply was she would rather have childbirth than pass a stone any day of the week. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Um. I'm not qualified to answer correctly really as when I was in childbirth I was off my face on lovely lovely drugs.
However when I had a bartholins cyst and it felt like I sat on a bollock that wrecked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of years after giving birth a lot of women start to think, I really want another baby. That'd be nice
There's not many blokes out there who'd say. You know what'd be really nice......I really fancy another kick in the bollocks "
Maybe not but there are plenty of young men who willingly do skateboard stunts down railings or ride BMX bikes with razor sharp seats...that pain can't be all that scary I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kicked in the balls, definitely.
Women will say childbirth, yet a year or two down the line from having their first they’ll say “I want another baby”.
You never hear a bloke say “you know what, I really fancy another kick in the balls”.
Case closed. |
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