FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Who is at fault.......another cheating thread!!
Who is at fault.......another cheating thread!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi Fabbers,
I am curious as to your opinions!!
When a married person is cheating, (no sex in marriage, doesn't want to leave because of the kids) in your opinion who is at fault??
A) The married person.....
B) The husband/wife for failing to 'provide' love/sex/attention etc etc.....
C) The person (single) who is allowing the married person to cheat (if he/she knows).....or
D) All 3??
It would be interesting to see your views and responses!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whoever the man involved is.
Always the man. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"B"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All 3 to some extent |
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Mostly A, a tiny fraction of B, and some C. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"B
"
domnt roll you eyes at me..sex or no sex, too many women use it. its is a big weapon..don't like my answer fine, but its my opinion..so get over it  |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
D.....albeit in varying degrees. Nothing is simple when it comes to this sort of thing.
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Me.
Sorry that should be option A.
It's my decision, I have my reasons that if you really want to know I'll say privately.
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By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago
Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;) |
Definitely A and B. For the clear breakdown of communications etc. It is after all a partnership so all things should be open for discussion.
And then throw in option C.... If the party knows and encourages said cheating. ( Playing with permission isn't cheating ) IMO |
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The married person and the person who knows they are married but carries on the affair anyway and then continues trying to justify it to themselves and the rest of the world |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if we're talking percentages I'd say it was 50% A, the married cheating person, reasons being, they should be mature enough to know that life can get in the way sometimes and perhaps could do more around the house or with the children to lighten the load so their wife actually wants sex. Also they should have some self control.
B)10% fault is with the wife 'if' they never or hardly ever have sex, they can't really expect a man who formally had an active sex life just to give up on sex.
C)40% is with the other woman who knowingly gets involved with a married or attached man. They should have more self worth for themselves than allow themselves to fall for an unobtainable man.
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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago
portsmouth |
Life is never as simple as A,B,C,D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Both of the married couple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's no one's fault. Humans are imperfect as a default, society makes up rules that don't work... If people were more honest with each other there'd be less issues generally imo. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"if we're talking percentages I'd say it was 50% A, the married cheating person, reasons being, they should be mature enough to know that life can get in the way sometimes and perhaps could do more around the house or with the children to lighten the load so their wife actually wants sex. Also they should have some self control.
B)10% fault is with the wife 'if' they never or hardly ever have sex, they can't really expect a man who formally had an active sex life just to give up on sex.
C)40% is with the other woman who knowingly gets involved with a married or attached man. They should have more self worth for themselves than allow themselves to fall for an unobtainable man.
"
fall for an unobtainable man?..this is a swinger, sex site im totally capable of enjoying this lifestyle without falling for anyone..thanks.if they are here they want sex without strings, some friendship maybe but im not after peoples husbands, they can keep them, ill have sex, thats the best bit anyway. if they don't appreciate it at home. i will no! i have no fixed morals before you ask |
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Nobody can know what goes on in another couples relationship but it's rare that problems are just one person's fault.
As for the person who has the affair with the married person I would say that another couple's marriage isn't their business and they're a symptom of the problems and communication break down rather than a direct cause of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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D to a varying degree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if we're talking percentages I'd say it was 50% A, the married cheating person, reasons being, they should be mature enough to know that life can get in the way sometimes and perhaps could do more around the house or with the children to lighten the load so their wife actually wants sex. Also they should have some self control.
B)10% fault is with the wife 'if' they never or hardly ever have sex, they can't really expect a man who formally had an active sex life just to give up on sex.
C)40% is with the other woman who knowingly gets involved with a married or attached man. They should have more self worth for themselves than allow themselves to fall for an unobtainable man.
fall for an unobtainable man?..this is a swinger, sex site im totally capable of enjoying this lifestyle without falling for anyone..thanks.if they are here they want sex without strings, some friendship maybe but im not after peoples husbands, they can keep them, ill have sex, thats the best bit anyway. if they don't appreciate it at home. i will no! i have no fixed morals before you ask "
I'm sorry was this about you or was I giving my opinion based on a hypothetical situation? |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
What do you think OP? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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100% A.
It is the married persond choice to cheat so its all comes back to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wasn't me, I am innocent.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi Fabbers,
I am curious as to your opinions!!
When a married person is cheating, (no sex in marriage, doesn't want to leave because of the kids) in your opinion who is at fault??
A) The married person.....
B) The husband/wife for failing to 'provide' love/sex/attention etc etc.....
C) The person (single) who is allowing the married person to cheat (if he/she knows).....or
D) All 3??
It would be interesting to see your views and responses!!"
As a man who cheated on his wife in exactly the way you described.
I hold myself to account. We both let our relationship break down. But I killed it.. because I couldn't be honest  Its effected me quite savagely and I feel enormous guilt. Sorrow for hurting my family.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm married and a cheat. In no way shape or form is my wife at fault for that. She's not obligated to grant access to her body and thus my deceitful actions are all of my own doing.
I can rationalise and justify my actions, but that doesn't involve laying any blame on her shoulders  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All 3 |
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I've been that person. Married two years. Baby age 1. Husband didn't want to come near me half way thru pregnancy and after. I turned from wife to mother and cleaner. I tried with him, but one day when I got back to work a guy made a BIG pass at me. I had ignored others before.
I missed sex desperately so I took it. I thought to start with I could just have the occasional fun, but I fell in love with the man and eventually left. But the whole turmoil of making my daughter a child of a split marriage was incredibly difficult. Only the thought that life would be worse for her, with me being unhappy gave me the strength to leave.
I'd say we were both at fault. He let me down and I acted incorrectly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All. This can just come down to kink.
I know people who get off on cheating it's nothing to do with there partner, an I know some who have lost sex drive but need a partner.
Then I know people who get off on sleeping with married people an chase them.
Honesty is best policy, but if this is their kink being honest will deflect from that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's no one's fault. Humans are imperfect as a default, society makes up rules that don't work... If people were more honest with each other there'd be less issues generally imo."
Perfect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This really isn't something that can be generalised. All can be guilty and individual circumstances are unique. We all should take responsibility for our own actions rather than looking to place blame elsewhere. |
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"Hi Fabbers,
I am curious as to your opinions!!
When a married person is cheating, (no sex in marriage, doesn't want to leave because of the kids) in your opinion who is at fault??
A) The married person.....
B) The husband/wife for failing to 'provide' love/sex/attention etc etc.....
C) The person (single) who is allowing the married person to cheat (if he/she knows).....or
D) All 3??
It would be interesting to see your views and responses!!"
Largely A but depends on circumstances to a degree |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
mostly A...... Partly C......
those are the people have made cold calculated decisions to do what they do...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my bitter experience it is A.
A week ago I'd have said B.
Nearly lost everything Sunday. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if we're talking percentages I'd say it was 50% A, the married cheating person, reasons being, they should be mature enough to know that life can get in the way sometimes and perhaps could do more around the house or with the children to lighten the load so their wife actually wants sex. Also they should have some self control.
B)10% fault is with the wife 'if' they never or hardly ever have sex, they can't really expect a man who formally had an active sex life just to give up on sex.
C)40% is with the other woman who knowingly gets involved with a married or attached man. They should have more self worth for themselves than allow themselves to fall for an unobtainable man.
"
I totally agree .
And let's remember the 'my wife doesn't give me sex line can be just that - a line |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Sometimes lines are being fed so people get what they want, ie we don't have sex/ she doesn't understand me/can't leave because of the kids so I would need to disregard that option as I don't know whats true...so A and C for me
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"if we're talking percentages I'd say it was 50% A, the married cheating person, reasons being, they should be mature enough to know that life can get in the way sometimes and perhaps could do more around the house or with the children to lighten the load so their wife actually wants sex. Also they should have some self control.
B)10% fault is with the wife 'if' they never or hardly ever have sex, they can't really expect a man who formally had an active sex life just to give up on sex.
C)40% is with the other woman who knowingly gets involved with a married or attached man. They should have more self worth for themselves than allow themselves to fall for an unobtainable man.
I totally agree .
And let's remember the 'my wife doesn't give me sex line can be just that - a line "
What if it's someone that doesn't particularly want sex.....that is just a great 'bonus', but almost an afterthought....he/she needs affection/love/to feel wanted........ maybe they are deeply insecure and need a good cuddle as well as (or instead of) just a shag?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As someone who was cheated on by her husband (now ex ) -
25% my fault - the relationship was struggling but I was trying to fix things at least
65% his fault - he went out of his way to lie and deceive and even acted like I was crazy when I accused him of cheating . I thought I was losing my mind . He should have grown some balls and left if he wasn't happy and thought it wasn't fixable .
10% her - yes he could have cheated with anyone and I never blamed her however , you have to be a bit of a dick to pursue a man you know is taken , go to his marital home and sleep in my bed ! Oh and the bitch drank my Diet Coke
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A. There's no obligation on a partner to provide, but you have to question the dynamics.
It's the age old...no situation is the same.
Example 1: husband treats wife without respect, never pays her attention or helps with daily matters....wonders why she's not interested. Obvious !
Example 2: husband treats wife with respect, loves her, looks after her needs etc discusses his desires and includes her in priblem solving,but she has zero interest. Slightly different?
The list goes on. Some people just accept they cheat for sex. Some make excuses and want sympathy. Some quietly go about it without drama. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"B
domnt roll you eyes at me..sex or no sex, too many women use it. its is a big weapon..don't like my answer fine, but its my opinion..so get over it "
Pmsl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never C)
Always A)
And if the cheater has tried their best to communicate their unhappiness, then B) has to accept the part they've played in their partner cheating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A simple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Turning the question around slightly, the only person in the scenario that I feel could be completely blameless would be the one being cheated on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Life is never as simple as A,B,C,D "
Agree totally with this |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Life is never as simple as A,B,C,D
Agree totally with this "
Obviously each situation is different and unique. I was just looking for a general consensus!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How can anyone say who is at fault when only the people involved might be aware of any the circumstances that surround this issue  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of course if C doesn't know about B, then the fault can only be A's if B knows about C but C doesn't know about B then C becomes the innocent one and A and B are at fault.
Damn it's confusing...
OP stop melting my brain... |
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"How can anyone say who is at fault when only the people involved might be aware of any the circumstances that surround this issue "
Exactly! |
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Mostly A, always A and C, and often all three. Those in a marriage have a duty to communicate and resolve any problems that arise, and in my view C should respect other people's relationships and butt out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How can anyone say who is at fault when only the people involved might be aware of any the circumstances that surround this issue "
Agree |
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"Definitely A and B. For the clear breakdown of communications etc. It is after all a partnership so all things should be open for discussion.
And then throw in option C.... If the party knows and encourages said cheating. ( Playing with permission isn't cheating ) IMO"
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Are they at fault or just victims of sad circumstances? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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None of them.
I blame Brexit and/or Donald Trump  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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B. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it has anything to do with C personally.
Once a married person decides to look elsewhere for affection, sex, or whatever else. C becomes irrelevant, they're going to cheat no matter WHO C is.
I've been a C, and the way I view it is, it's not down to me to adjust anyone's moral compass or to lecture them on the rights and wrongs of infidelity. They're grown adults already fully aware of the consequences of what they're doing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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North Korea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"None of them.
I blame Brexit and/or Donald Trump "
Total Donalds fault. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"North Korea "
Haaaaahaha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on circumstances. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I blame someone else. It's never me |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"if we're talking percentages I'd say it was 50% A, the married cheating person, reasons being, they should be mature enough to know that life can get in the way sometimes and perhaps could do more around the house or with the children to lighten the load so their wife actually wants sex. Also they should have some self control.
B)10% fault is with the wife 'if' they never or hardly ever have sex, they can't really expect a man who formally had an active sex life just to give up on sex.
C)40% is with the other woman who knowingly gets involved with a married or attached man. They should have more self worth for themselves than allow themselves to fall for an unobtainable man.
fall for an unobtainable man?..this is a swinger, sex site im totally capable of enjoying this lifestyle without falling for anyone..thanks.if they are here they want sex without strings, some friendship maybe but im not after peoples husbands, they can keep them, ill have sex, thats the best bit anyway. if they don't appreciate it at home. i will no! i have no fixed morals before you ask
I'm sorry was this about you or was I giving my opinion based on a hypothetical situation? "
i dont know...i answered above , someone decided to dislike my answer so i decided to not shut up..simple..doesnt matter its only a forum x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think they should go on counselling with jerry springers as he got good final thoughts lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are they at fault or just victims of sad circumstances?"
Exactly |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"In my bitter experience it is A.
A week ago I'd have said B.
Nearly lost everything Sunday."
hope everything is ok now |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
I'd have to say D the married people should be talking to each other and solving the problem, the other person should not be adding to it. |
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"Whoever the man involved is.
Always the man. "
Haha!
Not true but funny.
It's A. Don't stay together because of kids. Kids can sense what goes on.
Grow some balls and get a divorce and everyone can be happy eventually. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A. There's no obligation on a partner to provide, but you have to question the dynamics.
It's the age old...no situation is the same.
Example 1: husband treats wife without respect, never pays her attention or helps with daily matters....wonders why she's not interested. Obvious !
Example 2: husband treats wife with respect, loves her, looks after her needs etc discusses his desires and includes her in priblem solving,but she has zero interest. Slightly different?
The list goes on. Some people just accept they cheat for sex. Some make excuses and want sympathy. Some quietly go about it without drama."
Some people are totally different from everything you've said.. but on the whole.. you're probably right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How can anyone say who is at fault when only the people involved might be aware of any the circumstances that surround this issue "
Indeed. Life isnt black and white. Its 50,000 million shades of grey |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't blame my husband for cheating on me. I wasn't to blame either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whoever the man involved is.
Always the man.
Haha!
Not true but funny.
It's A. Don't stay together because of kids. Kids can sense what goes on.
Grow some balls and get a divorce and everyone can be happy eventually. "
It can take a lot of balls to stay in a bad relationship. |
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"How can anyone say who is at fault when only the people involved might be aware of any the circumstances that surround this issue
Indeed. Life isnt black and white. Its 50,000 million shades of grey"
I agree with this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My thoughts (heavily summarised) women lean towards monogamy and men lean towards polyamory. When there is an unwillingness to compromise on this issue men will cheat. You can't exactly fault the guy for pursuing polyamory, it's an innate drive inside him. The fault falls more with the wife who is unwilling to try and meet him half way. By lying, however, he breaks trust etc... So it's more complex than that.
The third person is entirely innocent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whatever happened to good communication in relationships x |
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By *arksMan
over a year ago
in the centre |
"if we're talking percentages I'd say it was 50% A, the married cheating person, reasons being, they should be mature enough to know that life can get in the way sometimes and perhaps could do more around the house or with the children to lighten the load so their wife actually wants sex. Also they should have some self control.
B)10% fault is with the wife 'if' they never or hardly ever have sex, they can't really expect a man who formally had an active sex life just to give up on sex.
C)40% is with the other woman who knowingly gets involved with a married or attached man. They should have more self worth for themselves than allow themselves to fall for an unobtainable man.
"
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The plumbers
Always the fucking plumbers fault!!!! |
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By *imonP23Man
over a year ago
Shepton Mallet |
I haven't had sex with my wife for 5 years (she has various "issues"). Blaming a person for having a sexual dysfunction seems harsh, but so does blaming others for trying to work around it.
So not really anyone's "fault". Relationships can be complicated.
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"Life is never as simple as A,B,C,D "
x Storm x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you'd have to ask the innocent party really and see what she says. She's the only one capable of giving an honest unbiased opinion on the whole situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing to see here |
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I thought I was in a stable marriage until my wife 'played away' with North Korea!
Its definitely North Korea's fault! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you'd have to ask the innocent party really and see what she says. She's the only one capable of giving an honest unbiased opinion on the whole situation."
Interesting that the original post had no bias towards male or female - but you answered presumptuously that the woman in the scenario was the innocent party |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Should never stay just for the kids... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A is at fault, with C being equally at fault from the moment she knew her lover was married. He has cheated before, explains a lot why his wife would have trust issues. Plus us men behave differently without being aware of it, when someone else but our partner becomes our main interest. Could his wife have noticed he is giving out different signals again?
You only have his word, but it seems your mind is made up in the way you word the description of him and her. B is innocent. B has trusted and has been hurt by A, a warm welcome back is obviously not the first thing on B's mind when A is back from overseas yet again.
Only A can sort this out now and he knows it. He won't walk away from his kids as that is his excuse to stay with B, and if he by any miracle happens to leave, he will probably need another target to chase.
Wish you much luck. |
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"The plumbers
Always the fucking plumbers fault!!!!"
True story |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you'd have to ask the innocent party really and see what she says. She's the only one capable of giving an honest unbiased opinion on the whole situation.
Interesting that the original post had no bias towards male or female - but you answered presumptuously that the woman in the scenario was the innocent party "
Maybe they've read the op other threads about getting it on with a married man so have assumed the op is referring to a situation she is currently in. Or maybe they haven't. I'm just speculating as is the way of the forum |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you'd have to ask the innocent party really and see what she says. She's the only one capable of giving an honest unbiased opinion on the whole situation.
Interesting that the original post had no bias towards male or female - but you answered presumptuously that the woman in the scenario was the innocent party "
I am indeed. And anyone familiar with the OP and her cheating threads will know why.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whoever the man involved is.
Always the man.
Haha!
Not true but funny.
It's A. Don't stay together because of kids. Kids can sense what goes on.
Grow some balls and get a divorce and everyone can be happy eventually.
It can take a lot of balls to stay in a bad relationship. "
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Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"I think you'd have to ask the innocent party really and see what she says. She's the only one capable of giving an honest unbiased opinion on the whole situation."
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Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you'd have to ask the innocent party really and see what she says. She's the only one capable of giving an honest unbiased opinion on the whole situation.
Interesting that the original post had no bias towards male or female - but you answered presumptuously that the woman in the scenario was the innocent party
Maybe they've read the op other threads about getting it on with a married man so have assumed the op is referring to a situation she is currently in. Or maybe they haven't. I'm just speculating as is the way of the forum "
No you're right |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The plumbers
Always the fucking plumbers fault!!!!
True story "
I knew I recognised you!!!!! |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think you'd have to ask the innocent party really and see what she says. She's the only one capable of giving an honest unbiased opinion on the whole situation.
Interesting that the original post had no bias towards male or female - but you answered presumptuously that the woman in the scenario was the innocent party
I am indeed. And anyone familiar with the OP and her cheating threads will know why.
"
It may or may NOT have anything to do with previous threads
Narrow minded ASSUMPTIONS make an ARSE out of you and me. |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you'd have to ask the innocent party really and see what she says. She's the only one capable of giving an honest unbiased opinion on the whole situation.
Interesting that the original post had no bias towards male or female - but you answered presumptuously that the woman in the scenario was the innocent party
I am indeed. And anyone familiar with the OP and her cheating threads will know why.
"
I sit corrected then |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
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By *ild-1Woman
over a year ago
york |
I haven't read all the posts. I'm seeing a married man. I knew he was married. I have never & wont ask him to leave her. He had guilt pangs and has tried to end it & I accept that. He always comes back. She found out & I answered all her questions honestly over a couple of weeks. He still came back. I believe I keep his marriage alive. If he doesn't have this outlet he would leave. He is lucky that although I kind of love him & am there for him I would never want to be his partner! I don't expect anyone to understand this as I don't think I do ... but it works. |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"I haven't read all the posts. I'm seeing a married man. I knew he was married. I have never & wont ask him to leave her. He had guilt pangs and has tried to end it & I accept that. He always comes back. She found out & I answered all her questions honestly over a couple of weeks. He still came back. I believe I keep his marriage alive. If he doesn't have this outlet he would leave. He is lucky that although I kind of love him & am there for him I would never want to be his partner! I don't expect anyone to understand this as I don't think I do ... but it works. "
Question without prejudice. Does she know he's still seeing you? |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
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By *ild-1Woman
over a year ago
york |
[Removed by poster at 08/08/17 23:01:32] |
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By *ild-1Woman
over a year ago
york |
"I haven't read all the posts. I'm seeing a married man. I knew he was married. I have never & wont ask him to leave her. He had guilt pangs and has tried to end it & I accept that. He always comes back. She found out & I answered all her questions honestly over a couple of weeks. He still came back. I believe I keep his marriage alive. If he doesn't have this outlet he would leave. He is lucky that although I kind of love him & am there for him I would never want to be his partner! I don't expect anyone to understand this as I don't think I do ... but it works.
Question without prejudice. Does she know he's still seeing you?"
No she doesn't. I will tell you why. She has asked me & this time I have lied. I know this is wrong but there's much more to this story that most won't understand because of what we believe. It includes his mum who I never met in life and him being a none believer (until this recent scenario). Yes I feel bad and I do, but I can't leave him to survive this on his own. This is not all about sex. |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"I haven't read all the posts. I'm seeing a married man. I knew he was married. I have never & wont ask him to leave her. He had guilt pangs and has tried to end it & I accept that. He always comes back. She found out & I answered all her questions honestly over a couple of weeks. He still came back. I believe I keep his marriage alive. If he doesn't have this outlet he would leave. He is lucky that although I kind of love him & am there for him I would never want to be his partner! I don't expect anyone to understand this as I don't think I do ... but it works.
Question without prejudice. Does she know he's still seeing you?
No she doesn't. I will tell you why. She has asked me & this time I have lied. I know this is wrong but there's much more to this story that most won't understand because of what we believe. It includes his mum who I never met in life and him being a none believer (until this recent scenario). Yes I feel bad and I do, but I can't leave him to survive this on his own. This is not all about sex. "
You don't have to justify yourself to me. I was just interested if she had decided to accept the situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you'd have to ask the innocent party really and see what she says. She's the only one capable of giving an honest unbiased opinion on the whole situation.
Interesting that the original post had no bias towards male or female - but you answered presumptuously that the woman in the scenario was the innocent party
I am indeed. And anyone familiar with the OP and her cheating threads will know why.
It may or may NOT have anything to do with previous threads
Narrow minded ASSUMPTIONS make an ARSE out of you and me. "
Under the circumstances i think most folk would ASSUME you are talking about recent threads. You know, the ones YOU posted on a PUBLIC forum.
I just put what most probably thought.
But yeah, i'm the arse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi Fabbers,
I am curious as to your opinions!!
When a married person is cheating, (no sex in marriage, doesn't want to leave because of the kids) in your opinion who is at fault??
A) The married person.....
B) The husband/wife for failing to 'provide' love/sex/attention etc etc.....
C) The person (single) who is allowing the married person to cheat (if he/she knows).....or
D) All 3??
It would be interesting to see your views and responses!!"
Always A, C. They can't cheat without another person involved. Word involved kinda gives it away. If the other person wasn't involved then they would be cheating.
Sometimes B. I say sometimes as they may be giving love sex and attention. It's just the cheater is not satisfied and is craving more and looks elsewhere instead of at home.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi Fabbers,
I am curious as to your opinions!!
When a married person is cheating, (no sex in marriage, doesn't want to leave because of the kids) in your opinion who is at fault??
A) The married person.....
B) The husband/wife for failing to 'provide' love/sex/attention etc etc.....
C) The person (single) who is allowing the married person to cheat (if he/she knows).....or
D) All 3??
It would be interesting to see your views and responses!!
Always A, C. They can't cheat without another person involved. Word involved kinda gives it away. If the other person wasn't involved then they would be cheating.
Sometimes B. I say sometimes as they may be giving love sex and attention. It's just the cheater is not satisfied and is craving more and looks elsewhere instead of at home.
"
Wouldn't* be cheating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you'd have to ask the innocent party really and see what she says. She's the only one capable of giving an honest unbiased opinion on the whole situation.
Interesting that the original post had no bias towards male or female - but you answered presumptuously that the woman in the scenario was the innocent party
I am indeed. And anyone familiar with the OP and her cheating threads will know why.
It may or may NOT have anything to do with previous threads
Narrow minded ASSUMPTIONS make an ARSE out of you and me.
Under the circumstances i think most folk would ASSUME you are talking about recent threads. You know, the ones YOU posted on a PUBLIC forum.
I just put what most probably thought.
But yeah, i'm the arse. "
So am I then. Hence my (conveniently ignored) answer above refers to those previous threads |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"I think you'd have to ask the innocent party really and see what she says. She's the only one capable of giving an honest unbiased opinion on the whole situation.
Interesting that the original post had no bias towards male or female - but you answered presumptuously that the woman in the scenario was the innocent party
I am indeed. And anyone familiar with the OP and her cheating threads will know why.
It may or may NOT have anything to do with previous threads
Narrow minded ASSUMPTIONS make an ARSE out of you and me.
Under the circumstances i think most folk would ASSUME you are talking about recent threads. You know, the ones YOU posted on a PUBLIC forum.
I just put what most probably thought.
But yeah, i'm the arse. "
Yeah I thought the same too |
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By *FFB69Woman
over a year ago
Torfaen/Gwent |
"I think you'd have to ask the innocent party really and see what she says. She's the only one capable of giving an honest unbiased opinion on the whole situation.
Interesting that the original post had no bias towards male or female - but you answered presumptuously that the woman in the scenario was the innocent party
I am indeed. And anyone familiar with the OP and her cheating threads will know why.
It may or may NOT have anything to do with previous threads
Narrow minded ASSUMPTIONS make an ARSE out of you and me.
Under the circumstances i think most folk would ASSUME you are talking about recent threads. You know, the ones YOU posted on a PUBLIC forum.
I just put what most probably thought.
But yeah, i'm the arse. "
Why would they? If someone hasn't seen the other posts they're not gonna assume anything.
Or are you thinking everyone green arrows on every post they read?
Not every thread is related. So yeah, You are the ass for assuming. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ohhh aren't you a judgemental lot. For a website that is meant to encourage and promote free thinking, freedom and hedonism, you lot are a load of hypocrites.....as long as someone plays by your strict 'rules' it's ok, otherwise burn the witch.
Forget your opinions and advice
......not worth it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A & B. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A: Is at fault but they will have their reasons and those reasons may be quite complex.
I have 6 very close girlfriends. Five of their husbands have cheated on them for varying reasons, one because he turned out to have a sex addiction.
My first husband, my childhood sweetheart, cheated on me many times. I'm pretty sure I know why he did it, but in no way do I think it was my fault.
So in my opinion, the cheater is to blame.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You all have a heck of a cheek judging me when you are all s*****g one another and playing around as you see fit to be honest.
Cant even post a thread without being judged and criticized.
How do any of you know its anything to do with previous threads???
Need to look at your own morals first |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ohhh aren't you a judgemental lot. For a website that is meant to encourage and promote free thinking, freedom and hedonism, you lot are a load of hypocrites.....as long as someone plays by your strict 'rules' it's ok, otherwise burn the witch.
Forget your opinions and advice
......not worth it "
I was going to say why don't people stick to the OP... answer the question instead of hijacking it to their own end.
Those of you who wish to do that why not start your own post on the issue? Really guys the OP has a valid objection here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ohhh aren't you a judgemental lot. For a website that is meant to encourage and promote free thinking, freedom and hedonism, you lot are a load of hypocrites.....as long as someone plays by your strict 'rules' it's ok, otherwise burn the witch.
Forget your opinions and advice
......not worth it
I was going to say why don't people stick to the OP... answer the question instead of hijacking it to their own end.
Those of you who wish to do that why not start your own post on the issue? Really guys the OP has a valid objection here."
Thank you. Appreciate your support. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"
I was going to say why don't people stick to the OP... answer the question instead of hijacking it to their own end.
Those of you who wish to do that why not start your own post on the issue? Really guys the OP has a valid objection here."
Christ don't encourage people ffs!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's amusing how many people lay the blame on a and absolve b completely, even laying some blame on c. This is what I would've said before I joined Fab. Now it just seems a naive vanilla view that doesn't really grasp the core issue underlying it... that for most men monogamy is unnatural |
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"A & B. "
A & B???? Seriously!
Ok! North Korea only has 4 votes so far but do not dismiss it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I was going to say why don't people stick to the OP... answer the question instead of hijacking it to their own end.
Those of you who wish to do that why not start your own post on the issue? Really guys the OP has a valid objection here.
Christ don't encourage people ffs!!!"
May just group them together for tea party and cake. |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"You all have a heck of a cheek judging me when you are all s*****g one another and playing around as you see fit to be honest.
Cant even post a thread without being judged and criticized.
How do any of you know its anything to do with previous threads???
"
Are you seriously trying to suggest your question has nothing to do with your current situation? |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You all have a heck of a cheek judging me when you are all s*****g one another and playing around as you see fit to be honest.
Cant even post a thread without being judged and criticized.
How do any of you know its anything to do with previous threads???
Are you seriously trying to suggest your question has nothing to do with your current situation?"
Devil's Advocate here:
What difference does it make to the OP if it is or not that it has warranted such a 'scandalous' outcry of calling for the gallows? |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You all have a heck of a cheek judging me when you are all s*****g one another and playing around as you see fit to be honest.
Cant even post a thread without being judged and criticized.
How do any of you know its anything to do with previous threads???
Are you seriously trying to suggest your question has nothing to do with your current situation?"
It doesn't make any difference if it does or not. You have the freedom to read the post or not, post or not, judge or not. The choice is yours and if you don't agree with the post or the morality of it or something then you know what the answer is!
Your choice to be a hypocrite.....or.....not!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You all have a heck of a cheek judging me when you are all s*****g one another and playing around as you see fit to be honest.
Cant even post a thread without being judged and criticized.
How do any of you know its anything to do with previous threads???
Need to look at your own morals first "
Is this a blanket rant at everyone? I just answered the question.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You all have a heck of a cheek judging me when you are all s*****g one another and playing around as you see fit to be honest.
Cant even post a thread without being judged and criticized.
How do any of you know its anything to do with previous threads???
Are you seriously trying to suggest your question has nothing to do with your current situation?
Devil's Advocate here:
What difference does it make to the OP if it is or not that it has warranted such a 'scandalous' outcry of calling for the gallows? "
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Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
Theres a difference between shagging a married person and falling for them. I think as soon as the single person relized they had feelings they should have some self respect and walk away and let them sort their own marriage out |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Theres a difference between shagging a married person and falling for them. I think as soon as the single person relized they had feelings they should have some self respect and walk away and let them sort their own marriage out"
That has little bearing on this thread and its not for you to dictate how a single person feels or lives their lives |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"You all have a heck of a cheek judging me when you are all s*****g one another and playing around as you see fit to be honest.
Cant even post a thread without being judged and criticized.
How do any of you know its anything to do with previous threads???
Are you seriously trying to suggest your question has nothing to do with your current situation?
Devil's Advocate here:
What difference does it make to the OP if it is or not that it has warranted such a 'scandalous' outcry of calling for the gallows? "
I haven't seen any scandalous outcry? But it seems to me kind of obvious that any thread asking for opinions on cheating is going to give rise to people saying 'I think cheating is wrong', a totally valid position held by the majority I would suggest. And if the OP of such a thread is one who has put up several threads that appear to try to justify her own cheating, people are going to point out the fact - otherwise it's a bit like the elephant in the room!
I have nothing against the OP or anyone else caught up in all kinds of situations, I have good friends in some very tough spots, but I reserve the right to say cheating is wrong, period, in my opinion. |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"Theres a difference between shagging a married person and falling for them. I think as soon as the single person relized they had feelings they should have some self respect and walk away and let them sort their own marriage out
That has little bearing on this thread and its not for you to dictate how a single person feels or lives their lives "
what are you talking about? You asked for peoples views and thats mine. |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
Honestly know idea, no one person is to blame.
We all choose what we do in life.
Sometimes it's seen as cheating sometimes it's an escape.
Only the person doing it can give you a real answer.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Devil's Advocate:
Reads like a lot of personalisation. Take a step back guys and seriously look at how and why you're responding? Some very good points being made but maybe not the post for it. It's all too personal it seems and lots of pain coming out and aimed at others.
Group Hug...  |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You all have a heck of a cheek judging me when you are all s*****g one another and playing around as you see fit to be honest.
Cant even post a thread without being judged and criticized.
How do any of you know its anything to do with previous threads???
Are you seriously trying to suggest your question has nothing to do with your current situation?
Devil's Advocate here:
What difference does it make to the OP if it is or not that it has warranted such a 'scandalous' outcry of calling for the gallows?
I haven't seen any scandalous outcry? But it seems to me kind of obvious that any thread asking for opinions on cheating is going to give rise to people saying 'I think cheating is wrong', a totally valid position held by the majority I would suggest. And if the OP of such a thread is one who has put up several threads that appear to try to justify her own cheating, people are going to point out the fact - otherwise it's a bit like the elephant in the room!
I have nothing against the OP or anyone else caught up in all kinds of situations, I have good friends in some very tough spots, but I reserve the right to say cheating is wrong, period, in my opinion."
I am NOT cheating....i am SINGLE |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"You all have a heck of a cheek judging me when you are all s*****g one another and playing around as you see fit to be honest.
Cant even post a thread without being judged and criticized.
How do any of you know its anything to do with previous threads???
Are you seriously trying to suggest your question has nothing to do with your current situation?
It doesn't make any difference if it does or not. You have the freedom to read the post or not, post or not, judge or not. The choice is yours and if you don't agree with the post or the morality of it or something then you know what the answer is!
Your choice to be a hypocrite.....or.....not!! "
Nothing hypocritical in my position - cheating is wrong IMO, wrong of both parties, and sometimes the third party too. You asked for opinions, I gave one. |
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I feel sorry for B in the situation.
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Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"You all have a heck of a cheek judging me when you are all s*****g one another and playing around as you see fit to be honest.
Cant even post a thread without being judged and criticized.
How do any of you know its anything to do with previous threads???
Are you seriously trying to suggest your question has nothing to do with your current situation?
Devil's Advocate here:
What difference does it make to the OP if it is or not that it has warranted such a 'scandalous' outcry of calling for the gallows?
I haven't seen any scandalous outcry? But it seems to me kind of obvious that any thread asking for opinions on cheating is going to give rise to people saying 'I think cheating is wrong', a totally valid position held by the majority I would suggest. And if the OP of such a thread is one who has put up several threads that appear to try to justify her own cheating, people are going to point out the fact - otherwise it's a bit like the elephant in the room!
I have nothing against the OP or anyone else caught up in all kinds of situations, I have good friends in some very tough spots, but I reserve the right to say cheating is wrong, period, in my opinion.
I am NOT cheating....i am SINGLE "
IMO knowingly meeting a married man is taking part in cheating, I'm sorry, i do not feel those doing so can claim innocence, and in most cases their conscience confirms that I believe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Devil's Advocate:
Reads like a lot of personalisation. Take a step back guys and seriously look at how and why you're responding? Some very good points being made but maybe not the post for it. It's all too personal it seems and lots of pain coming out and aimed at others.
Group Hug... "
How patronising.
I stand by my opinion/comment.
Goodnight. |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
His fault mainly . A few years ago I could have been anyone.
Partly her fault as I'm pretty sure she already knows but chooses to ignore
Partly mine as despite trying I've not walked away
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You all have a heck of a cheek judging me when you are all s*****g one another and playing around as you see fit to be honest.
Cant even post a thread without being judged and criticized.
How do any of you know its anything to do with previous threads???
Are you seriously trying to suggest your question has nothing to do with your current situation?
Devil's Advocate here:
What difference does it make to the OP if it is or not that it has warranted such a 'scandalous' outcry of calling for the gallows?
I haven't seen any scandalous outcry? But it seems to me kind of obvious that any thread asking for opinions on cheating is going to give rise to people saying 'I think cheating is wrong', a totally valid position held by the majority I would suggest. And if the OP of such a thread is one who has put up several threads that appear to try to justify her own cheating, people are going to point out the fact - otherwise it's a bit like the elephant in the room!
I have nothing against the OP or anyone else caught up in all kinds of situations, I have good friends in some very tough spots, but I reserve the right to say cheating is wrong, period, in my opinion."
Frisky, I don't think any would not say cheating is wrong. It just seems from where I stand that people are using it as an opportunity to empty their quivers..... I'm interested why? It's not the OP. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You all have a heck of a cheek judging me when you are all s*****g one another and playing around as you see fit to be honest.
Cant even post a thread without being judged and criticized.
How do any of you know its anything to do with previous threads???
Are you seriously trying to suggest your question has nothing to do with your current situation?
Devil's Advocate here:
What difference does it make to the OP if it is or not that it has warranted such a 'scandalous' outcry of calling for the gallows?
I haven't seen any scandalous outcry? But it seems to me kind of obvious that any thread asking for opinions on cheating is going to give rise to people saying 'I think cheating is wrong', a totally valid position held by the majority I would suggest. And if the OP of such a thread is one who has put up several threads that appear to try to justify her own cheating, people are going to point out the fact - otherwise it's a bit like the elephant in the room!
I have nothing against the OP or anyone else caught up in all kinds of situations, I have good friends in some very tough spots, but I reserve the right to say cheating is wrong, period, in my opinion.
I am NOT cheating....i am SINGLE
IMO knowingly meeting a married man is taking part in cheating, I'm sorry, i do not feel those doing so can claim innocence, and in most cases their conscience confirms that I believe."
No conscience here....no need for one. I don't profess to be one thing/person and pretend to be another. I am real....what you see is what you get.
I don't have to justify myself to anyone for any reason. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Ohhh aren't you a judgemental lot. For a website that is meant to encourage and promote free thinking, freedom and hedonism, you lot are a load of hypocrites.....as long as someone plays by your strict 'rules' it's ok, otherwise burn the witch.
Forget your opinions and advice
......not worth it "
I would say thats the end then
Please remember before you or anyone else posts a thread again, you won't always get the answers you would like
Time to close |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
