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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Has anyone else suffered with this?
I found myself experiencing this a few months ago when I use to meet my Fwb.
Then not had any meets for a while and then had a meet at the weekend and bang after he had gone I found myself feeling down and tearful.
It doesn't happen very often but kind of struggling to know why it happened after a meet with a new guy.
Now because of it he says he no longer want to meet me again.
I think he thinks it's some kind of emotional attatchment to him and thinks I'm needy, but he couldn't be anymore wrong if he tried as I don't do needy.
How do you deal with this when it happens to you. I'm ok now but it's those first few hours or so after sex I get it. |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
The drop is quite common. Over the years I've read many peoples experiences of it on here.
I think its hardly surprising if there's been a rush of oxytocin and then its gone.
The best thing I find is to keep busy x |
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OP it sounds similar to sub drop. Basically during sex you have such a big release of happy hormones the come down can be quite hard.
I get it too. How bad the drop is really depends on how good the sex was. It isn't an immediate thing for me and often happens a couple of days later. I usually just try a bit of self care. Go for a walk, a pamper session, chocolate and ice cream or anything else that would normally cheer me up if I'm feeling low. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanku ladies
I've had it before but when I was seeing someone on a regular basis
But never encountered it on a first meet
He kind of picked up that I was a bit down through messages
So told him why but wished I had t now because it's put him off meeting me again
But I will take on board the advice you have given me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get this too. Never realised what it was until I read about sub drop on the forums. Now I'm ready for it and it's easier to deal with. Hope you feel better.  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I also think it can be an insight into how u really feel about casual sex.
Often it can be because it isnt enough... yes it is sex but it isn't proper mental and physical intimacy.
I got like this before and had to take time out from casual meets to sort out my priorities. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've not experienced this before. Can I offer a possible male perspective on why he no longer wants to meet whilst talking about this dip?
An endorphin release can give you a come down.. much the same as drugs or something scary. It sounds a very likely cause.. but I'm not a doctor.
If it were me, if I had noticed your tears. I would have put my arm around you and asked what was upsetting you. If you wanted to talk about it.
If you didn't.. I'd feel a bit worried for you, a little upset and I'd try to check on you later on with a phonecall or text. If you explained well.. it's something new to me.. so I'd be morbidly curious anyway. Still concerned for you and tell you not to worry.. I'll stay with you till you're smiling again? If you like?
Then I'd want to know when I could see your mini pie again? Give you a kiss and be on me way.
But sometimes explanations can be lost in translation or the guy may be a dick and not believe you and assume you're a little unhinged, or depressed. Too much hard work for some.
I hope this doesn't continue to upset you.. I think another poster had a good idea.. keeping yourself busy straight after.. but explain this to the person you're with before you have sex please  I'd be freaking out more if you jumped straight off me and started mashing potatoes and playing sudoku.
Good luck OP X |
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They guy sounds like an ass!
You may not admit it or think it's possible but deep down at the bottom of your heart, there is a desire, a craving, for somebody to wrap you in their arms and say "I love you"  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"They guy sounds like an ass!
You may not admit it or think it's possible but deep down at the bottom of your heart, there is a desire, a craving, for somebody to wrap you in their arms and say "I love you" "
Oh I don't think so
I really have no desire to be loved or to live someone trust me on that |
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Yes I too suffered this recently and asked about it on here.....didn't have a name for it, it is nothing to do with being attached to the person, and I was annoyed that some people tried to suggest it was, mine was a real low after a really huge high and it felt chemical /hormonal not a heart thing. I've been advised to try and have a slower build up and a slower wind down and then make sure lots of cuddles and after care, check in with messages etc. I haven't tried again yet....but will let you know when I do! Xxx |
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I think the ideal response is to have the time afterwards free of pressure, so that you can care for yourself however you may need to. I've had this, sometimes getting myself very busy but also treating myself compassionately and getting others to support me.
This meet is perhaps just a learning experience, letting you better understand what type of people to meet, how to interact, as well as what you could need. Some partners won't get us - nor want to invest the energy in much other than sex, which can be fine if that is only what is needed. |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"They guy sounds like an ass!
You may not admit it or think it's possible but deep down at the bottom of your heart, there is a desire, a craving, for somebody to wrap you in their arms and say "I love you" "
I only experience it with one person and it is no secret that I want more so your theory here is absolutely correct. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to suffer with this a lot - with little understanding if what it was - so I was always seeing out the next "high"
I even convinced myself at one point that it was because I needed a relationship and casual sex wasnt for me.
After the mundane of the relationship hit in I realised that it wasnt that at all!
I am as many are on here a thrill seeker - and dont do well at all with the mundane.
I regularly feel a bit down if I havent got anything fun going on.
Or the fun has come to an end.
Be kind to yourself and choose your next meet wisely
Hugs x |
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