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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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An ugly woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them. The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would u think they're twins, Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?" The clerk replied,"I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would fuck you twice." !!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got into a lift in a multi-storey car park, only to find that someone had changed all the floor numbers on the buttons..
It was wrong on so many levels...!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My boss said to me "Why do you come out in a rash every time I give you your wages"?
I said "It's because i'm allergic to fucking peanuts"....!"
Must try harder  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I got into a lift in a multi-storey car park, only to find that someone had changed all the floor numbers on the buttons..
It was wrong on so many levels...!!"
Striaght out of a Xmas cracker  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""Why is it that you're white but I'm black?" I said to my mum.
"Don't ask," she replied. "When I think back to that party it's lucky you don't bark." "
Wood woof  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Two American tourists were travelling around Europe, visiting places that they had heard of but their families didn't believe existed.
So having visited many places, they couldn't miss out on n opportunity to visit Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
So they got on the train and were really looking forward to telling their family that they had been to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
Neither of them could pronounce Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch but were really embarrased about showing their ignorance.
Anyway, they arrived at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch Station and decided to look around.
Starving by this stage, they decided to get a bite to eat.
Rather than not knowing, they decided to ask the lady behind the counter:
"Gee, we have been round your amazing United States of Europe and seen some strange names, can you help Bud here with how to pronounce the name of your quaint little place here? Please say it slowly so we can get it right"
The girl leaned over and said....
"Burrrrrrrrrgerrrrrrrr Kinnnnnnng"
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