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men and dom women
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i find it intriguing how many men jump when i say i can play dom. why do you men like it so much when a women is dom in the bedroom?"
maybe it takes them back to their childhood,or possibly school days,where they were severly reprimanded by a very attractive woman....ive been told that by the way..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i find it intriguing how many men jump when i say i can play dom. why do you men like it so much when a women is dom in the bedroom?"
Oh i couldnt, would laugh to much  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i find it intriguing how many men jump when i say i can play dom. why do you men like it so much when a women is dom in the bedroom?
Oh i couldnt, would laugh to much "
its easier than i thought it would be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a little sissy boy,and the more i humiliate him the better he likes it,you just have to let them know whos boss and how they can serve you...get inside their head,they become putty in yr hands..its easy,you become their fantasy.. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Its a mind game and also about temporarily divorcing themselves from responsibility..."she made me do it" and in psychological terms can indeed be linked to Oedipus complex and attachment to mother (role). Its interesting how many men who hold high power, dominant positions in their porfessional life become sexually submissive (and often vice versa).... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a little sissy boy,and the more i humiliate him the better he likes it,you just have to let them know whos boss and how they can serve you...get inside their head,they become putty in yr hands..its easy,you become their fantasy.."
Nope, couldnt do it because i would be laffing to much
and i dot like sissys, prefer um tuff |
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A guy I play with occasionally is a switch. I love it when he plays Dom, but don't like being around him when he is in sub mode.
Mainly because I don't know how to "service" that need, so wouldn't want him to feel obliged to be something he isn't at that moment in time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Every sub man I've played with has been an alpha male: men at the top of their game in charge of others etc. My OH is high up in the communications industry with a stressful job.
Being able to relinquish control, be made to do things they wouldn't do themselves and be sexually fulfilled is wonderful for them and exciting for me. My OH is still "scared" of me four years on. He's got a major project on but finds it hard to concentrate as I've told him of what I've bought for him to wear! He doesn't want to but I want him too! 
I do find it funny when people assume sub men are sissies! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tried being dom twice, when i was on here as a single femme, ended up laughing me tits off, couldn't do it  "
Didnt do a very good job of getting ya Tits to fall of then? |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"I tried being dom twice, when i was on here as a single femme, ended up laughing me tits off, couldn't do it
Didnt do a very good job of getting ya Tits to fall of then? "
No not really the funbags are still bouncy n flirty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Obviously I can only speak from my perspective but a number of the previous posters have gotten it spot on. I have an extremely stressful job on occasions and there is nothing better than a stress releasing domme/sub session for me but then its back to my normal role but for that moment in time it is pure escapism.
I am not a sissy per se but do like to be told to dress up and enjoy what is a societal role reversal with all that brings. Being 6' tall and the best part of 15 stone I am unlikely to be a great sissy.
As other sites will highlight, there are an awful lot of submissive males when compared to dominant females and I would suggest that this is the main cause for the high response and in many cases, it would be my opinion that "pussy" is the last reason for the massive amount of contacts, much more likely wanting to be spanked/strapped/CBT/humiliated would figure much higher on the wish list |
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"Every sub man I've played with has been an alpha male: men at the top of their game in charge of others etc. My OH is high up in the communications industry with a stressful job.
Being able to relinquish control, be made to do things they wouldn't do themselves and be sexually fulfilled is wonderful for them and exciting for me. My OH is still "scared" of me four years on. He's got a major project on but finds it hard to concentrate as I've told him of what I've bought for him to wear! He doesn't want to but I want him too!
I do find it funny when people assume sub men are sissies! "
A great point,and true of us sub women too, i used to piss myself laughing when wannabe doms in a BDSM chat room i used told me"You're not very sub".
A good male friend is his wifes slave.He used to shock morons who thought they cud be rude to his wife in chat,they assumed he was going to be a pushover just cos he was in pigtails and latex dress |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with Aphrodite and Sassymissuk.
I've never been sub in any part of my life, sexual or otherwise, but had a meet with a stunning, tall (5'10") girl a while back - when I walked in she was wearing heels which made her about 6'3" - I was absolutely dumbfounded - it was SO arousing. I asked her to keep the shoes on - she said "are you sure?".
Fuck yeah, I was sure. It was the first time I'd ever had that sensation. It was awesome. Hopefully I'll have it again when I'm in her city next time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is it not true people that in reality its the sub who's in control of this kind of relationship .....you see its there fetish and there choice to give over control to another person .......and to be a alpha or dom you must be a confident unselfesh lover willing to put the needs of the sub first .....after all let's take punishment as a example yes it can turn a alpha or dom on but t the pleasure of such acts is the subs and subs alone ......to be a alpha takes a lot of self control and a giving nature ....I could be wrong here but i have played such games and its was for anothers pleasure all I had was the confidence to play a roll for them |
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"Is it not true people that in reality its the sub who's in control of this kind of relationship .....you see its there fetish and there choice to give over control to another person .......and to be a alpha or dom you must be a confident unselfesh lover willing to put the needs of the sub first .....after all let's take punishment as a example yes it can turn a alpha or dom on but t the pleasure of such acts is the subs and subs alone ......to be a alpha takes a lot of self control and a giving nature ....I could be wrong here but i have played such games and its was for anothers pleasure all I had was the confidence to play a roll for them "
It will depend on how deeply the relationship has evolved.
Yes, to a certain extent I play submissive, but with new partners I am in control, I have a safe word, and my boundaries are discussed before hand.
However, there are 2 men in my life that can completely dominate me. I have no need for safe words with them, because they know me, know how far I can be pushed, what boundaries to push, and when.
So while the idea that the sub is in control is not entirely false, it is not entirely true either. |
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By *waymanMan
over a year ago
newcastle |
"Is it not true people that in reality its the sub who's in control of this kind of relationship .....you see its there fetish and there choice to give over control to another person .......and to be a alpha or dom you must be a confident unselfesh lover willing to put the needs of the sub first .....after all let's take punishment as a example yes it can turn a alpha or dom on but t the pleasure of such acts is the subs and subs alone ......to be a alpha takes a lot of self control and a giving nature ....I could be wrong here but i have played such games and its was for anothers pleasure all I had was the confidence to play a roll for them "
YKINMK
Beating a woman who has chosen to be in that position is an incredibly sexy experience. I have learned, with a good deal of pleasure and amusement, that I am a sexual sadist. The aetiology of the sub's choice to be in that position (whether it's because she's simply aroused by it or whether it's for more complex reasons) is not my concern provided she has given some kind of informed consent. Provided it satisfies her needs as well as mins I'm not really overly concerned about the whys and wherefores.
I find much of the theorizing about alpha males who choose to be submissive almost risible in its shallowness. There again any man who describes himself as an alpha male is probably a little risible too. What I will say is that there's a certain congruence between narcissistic leaders (the kind of people who're likely to prize being seen as 'alpha males') and the narcissism of only being able to submit while topping from the bottom. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it not true people that in reality its the sub who's in control of this kind of relationship .....you see its there fetish and there choice to give over control to another person .......and to be a alpha or dom you must be a confident unselfesh lover willing to put the needs of the sub first .....after all let's take punishment as a example yes it can turn a alpha or dom on but t the pleasure of such acts is the subs and subs alone ......to be a alpha takes a lot of self control and a giving nature ....I could be wrong here but i have played such games and its was for anothers pleasure all I had was the confidence to play a roll for them
It will depend on how deeply the relationship has evolved.
Yes, to a certain extent I play submissive, but with new partners I am in control, I have a safe word, and my boundaries are discussed before hand.
However, there are 2 men in my life that can completely dominate me. I have no need for safe words with them, because they know me, know how far I can be pushed, what boundaries to push, and when.
So while the idea that the sub is in control is not entirely false, it is not entirely true either. "
Maybe I did not word this well enough but as a sub are you nit always the one with the control after all your alpha does not perform the kind of fun you like you stop with him or her and find one who can so you like i tried to explain you always have control all you are doing is choosing to give it to another ......that why alpha have to be very confident because there control is a illusion ....again I could be wrong but its just seems to make sense when looked on like that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can see no pleasure in beating someone or humiliating .....the pleasure in such acts is knowing you are turning some else on .......by giving them pleasure in your actions ........which for me means if you engage in such games as the alpha or dom you are a pleasure giver more than a pleasure taker .....but hay i'm taking fir personal experience and every one is different |
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By *waymanMan
over a year ago
newcastle |
"I can see no pleasure in beating someone or humiliating .....the pleasure in such acts is knowing you are turning some else on .......by giving them pleasure in your actions ........which for me means if you engage in such games as the alpha or dom you are a pleasure giver more than a pleasure taker .....but hay i'm taking fir personal experience and every one is different "
My pleasure in beating someone is not contingent upon their consent or pleasure. That restriction upon what I do (that I won't beat someone who hasn't consented in some way, and won't beat someone who is not getting some kind of need satisfied by what I do) is a moral imperative; I could do non consensual things, and get a sexual kick out of them, but I don't want to be that kind of man, so I won't.
It's similar to the moral component of not being a rioter. In London on Monday or Tuesday I could have looted Curry's for a laptop that's better than this one - but I don't want to be a thief so I wouldn't. |
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"Is it not true people that in reality its the sub who's in control of this kind of relationship .....you see its there fetish and there choice to give over control to another person .......and to be a alpha or dom you must be a confident unselfesh lover willing to put the needs of the sub first .....after all let's take punishment as a example yes it can turn a alpha or dom on but t the pleasure of such acts is the subs and subs alone ......to be a alpha takes a lot of self control and a giving nature ....I could be wrong here but i have played such and its was for anothers pleasure all I had was the confidence to play a roll for them
It will depend on how deeply the relationship has evolved.
Yes, to a certain extent I play submissive, but with new partners I am in control, I have a safe word, and my boundaries are discussed before hand.
However, there are 2 men in my life that can completely dominate me. I have no need for safe words with them, because they know me, know how far I can be pushed, what boundaries to push, and when.
So while the idea that the sub is in control is not entirely false, it is not entirely true either.
Maybe I did not word this well enough but as a sub are you nit always the one with the control after all your alpha does not perform the kind of fun you like you stop with him or her and find one who can so you like i tried to explain you always have control all you are doing is choosing to give it to another ......that why alpha have to be very confident because there control is a illusion ....again I could be wrong but its just seems to make sense when looked on like that "
i think t depends on whether you are play partners,say in a dudgeon,where the words tp and bottom make more sense, or n a D/s relatonship.
I am minded of the end of the story of O,where it is left unwritten whether she chooses death over being without her Master.
The fact is when you give yourself ,it is total. There is no illusion, you cannot just say,i didnt enjoy that try something else.That is one of the things you give up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can see no pleasure in beating someone or humiliating .....the pleasure in such acts is knowing you are turning some else on .......by giving them pleasure in your actions ........which for me means if you engage in such games as the alpha or dom you are a pleasure giver more than a pleasure taker .....but hay i'm taking fir personal experience and every one is different
My pleasure in beating someone is not contingent upon their consent or pleasure. That restriction upon what I do (that I won't beat someone who hasn't consented in some way, and won't beat someone who is not getting some kind of need satisfied by what I do) is a moral imperative; I could do non consensual things, and get a sexual kick out of them, but I don't want to be that kind of man, so I won't.
It's similar to the moral component of not being a rioter. In London on Monday or Tuesday I could have looted Curry's for a laptop that's better than this one - but I don't want to be a thief so I wouldn't."
I wouldnt want to be with a man who enjoys or gets a kick out of "beating" a woman.
To me someone being dom is not about beating someone up ffs.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldnt want to be with a man who enjoys or gets a kick out of "beating" a woman.
To me someone being dom is not about beating someone up ffs.
"
I wouldnt ever entertain a man who enjoyed beating me up.. So with you on that..
I have been reading this with interest.. Even more so as had a task recently to write about who truly has the control in a power exchange relationship.
I could not be with a sub man.. I could not be dominant to a man, same as some men couldnt be dominant, some women can not be submissive... for me a submissive man is a huge turn off.. but I do get what they are looking for from the exchange of power..
In my relationship my control is given up... I can not take it back, consent was given at the very start... but I get a lot from knowing that I have no control where my Master is concerned.. Even to the extent of me wanting to end the relationship, I could not.. but not many give up the control to that level..
Yes I could refuse to do something.. but if I disrespected my Master, then the simple thing is the m/s relationship would end.. so what control does that give me..?? none really...
Some choose to only exchange power in the bedroom.. others, like myself 24/7...
but whatever, I think as long as everyones needs are met then there is no issue.
I had a friend who was a slave, and before that I had always had the assumption that submissive men were sissys.. but he was a very strong and independant individual.. and I learned that just as I am a slave and not a door mat or the other things that people seem to associate with being a slave, then why should I assume men are.
Yes I will admit for me it sits badly.. for me a man should always be dominant... but that is just how I have always thought.. and I accept that in this world there are variations in all that people enjoy.
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on what your turn on is.. I only swing for extra fun... Like 7 guys or more..
Wouldn't involve another in our bdsm side.
And I actually agreed that I wouldn't like to be with a man that enjoyed beating a woman..
Cali |
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By *waymanMan
over a year ago
newcastle |
"I can see no pleasure in beating someone or humiliating .....the pleasure in such acts is knowing you are turning some else on .......by giving them pleasure in your actions ........which for me means if you engage in such games as the alpha or dom you are a pleasure giver more than a pleasure taker .....but hay i'm taking fir personal experience and every one is different
My pleasure in beating someone is not contingent upon their consent or pleasure. That restriction upon what I do (that I won't beat someone who hasn't consented in some way, and won't beat someone who is not getting some kind of need satisfied by what I do) is a moral imperative; I could do non consensual things, and get a sexual kick out of them, but I don't want to be that kind of man, so I won't.
It's similar to the moral component of not being a rioter. In London on Monday or Tuesday I could have looted Curry's for a laptop that's better than this one - but I don't want to be a thief so I wouldn't.
I wouldnt want to be with a man who enjoys or gets a kick out of "beating" a woman.
To me someone being dom is not about beating someone up ffs.
"
YKINMK
My _iew is that there is something more authentic and honest about what I describe than play acting dominance or spanking someone else because they like it and denying any intrinsic pleasure in the act to yourself. It's a moot point of course, because, since you wouldn't want it and wouldn't want to be there, you never would be with me. But that decision, that you would never be there with me, is a moral point, not to do with what is right or wrong about sexual desires and tastes. |
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By *waymanMan
over a year ago
newcastle |
"Well purely my opinion only, i dont think sexual sadists and swinging go together. Where is the fun with being beaten senseless ?  "
What would be the point in beating someone senseless? To a sadist like me, if someone can't feel pain, there is no point in beating them. |
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"Well purely my opinion only, i dont think sexual sadists and swinging go together. Where is the fun with being beaten senseless ?
What would be the point in beating someone senseless? To a sadist like me, if someone can't feel pain, there is no point in beating them."
i knew that was why you stop when i float |
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"Well purely my opinion only, i dont think sexual sadists and swinging go together. Where is the fun with being beaten senseless ? "
IMO single women who meet single men dont go together with swinging...thats just shagging .You can get NSA sex anywhere
Oh but i dont judge others reasons for being here. |
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