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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
sex is the only sport in the world where the faster a man is the worse he is,im mean really its not my fault ive been practising by myself since i was a kid and am now so good at it, it only takes me 4 min 22sec.
Come on ladies, you have to start putting in the practice you cant expect us to carry you in the bedroom.
like the other night after sex i got outta bed and she turned to me and said that was crap, i pointed out to her that the white stuff on the sheets (and her hair) was the mark of sucess, i told her give me 4 hours and acup of tea and id dish out the love pump for the second time! thats right twice! thats over 9 minutes of sex! needless to say i feel asleep and didnt do her the second time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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oh another thing ladies stop pretending you get orgasms, i tried for literally minutes last night and nothing happened, i even tried the back door too. i mean if me tea bagging ya after ive been to the gym doesnt do it for you nothing will, am i right ladies or am i right
P.S. ive mannaged to have sex by myself twice while typing this, now what you think of that, thats right im basically a sperm delivery system. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP, you'll learn one day, some women are simply never satisfied.
Look, we already been told the site full of twats. 
there aint no pleasing you,s  "
Tut, I was being nice then n all, I said 'some' women, not all.
you blummin women and your girl power sticking together. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP, you'll learn one day, some women are simply never satisfied.
Look, we already been told the site full of twats.
there aint no pleasing you,s
Tut, I was being nice then n all, I said 'some' women, not al
you blummin women and your girl power sticking together."
Its alright lad, shes probably just all hot n bothered over my post, most likely jealous of me woman.
This TWAT gathering is really getting somewhere, i mean weve proved that women dont orgasm, im great im bed and 3 inches is the biggest penis any woman wants or needs, 3.5 if i push the ruler into my pelvic bone. I mean 5 inches, surely youd get your own parking space outside tesco for being disabled |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is why vibrators were invented lol"
oh that's my favourite part, when I've put a good 5 minutes in then roll over to sleep, the secret is I'm not sleeping I'm listening to her play with her toy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is why vibrators were invented lol"
there completely useless, tried 1 but couldnt get any enjoyment out of it so just gave it to the cat to play with.
I mean really why would any women and to put a freakishly and probably dangerous, penis shaped object into there vagina, and let it vibrate there clit (also doubt it exists, could be a russian spy trick from the eighties to distract the americans), women want speed, ease of entry, the taste of sperm and warm sweaty balls on there chin.
P.S. i have sex with myself again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is why vibrators were invented lol
oh that's my favourite part, when I've put a good 5 minutes in then roll over to sleep, the secret is I'm not sleeping I'm listening to her play with her toy. "
Who you tryn to impress with your 5mins?
Your no longer a TWAT for lying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is why vibrators were invented lol
oh that's my favourite part, when I've put a good 5 minutes in then roll over to sleep, the secret is I'm not sleeping I'm listening to her play with her toy.
Who you tryn to impress with your 5mins?
Your no longer a TWAT for lying."
I can manage 5 minutes, I think of her Mum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is why vibrators were invented lol
there completely useless, tried 1 but couldnt get any enjoyment out of it so just gave it to the cat to play with.
I mean really why would any women and to put a freakishly and probably dangerous, penis shaped object into there vagina, and let it vibrate there clit (also doubt it exists, could be a russian spy trick from the eighties to distract the americans), women want speed, ease of entry, the taste of sperm and warm sweaty balls on there chin.
P.S. i have sex with myself again."
Mrs Cosy sure is a lucky lady |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is why vibrators were invented lol
there completely useless, tried 1 but couldnt get any enjoyment out of it so just gave it to the cat to play with.
I mean really why would any women and to put a freakishly and probably dangerous, penis shaped object into there vagina, and let it vibrate there clit (also doubt it exists, could be a russian spy trick from the eighties to distract the americans), women want speed, ease of entry, the taste of sperm and warm sweaty balls on there chin.
P.S. i have sex with myself again.
Mrs Cosy sure is a lucky lady"
yes she is, and i hope youve done your chores for today and not just on here, now theres a good girl, you may dream of my 3 inches(3.5 when is push the ruler in) tonight i will allow it this once. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is why vibrators were invented lol
there completely useless, tried 1 but couldnt get any enjoyment out of it so just gave it to the cat to play with.
I mean really why would any women and to put a freakishly and probably dangerous, penis shaped object into there vagina, and let it vibrate there clit (also doubt it exists, could be a russian spy trick from the eighties to distract the americans), women want speed, ease of entry, the taste of sperm and warm sweaty balls on there chin.
P.S. i have sex with myself again.
Mrs Cosy sure is a lucky lady
yes she is, and i hope youve done your chores for today and not just on here, now theres a good girl, you may dream of my 3 inches(3.5 when is push the ruler in) tonight i will allow it this once."
always add in couple of inches to include thrust |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is why vibrators were invented lol
there completely useless, tried 1 but couldnt get any enjoyment out of it so just gave it to the cat to play with.
I mean really why would any women and to put a freakishly and probably dangerous, penis shaped object into there vagina, and let it vibrate there clit (also doubt it exists, could be a russian spy trick from the eighties to distract the americans), women want speed, ease of entry, the taste of sperm and warm sweaty balls on there chin.
P.S. i have sex with myself again.
Mrs Cosy sure is a lucky lady
yes she is, and i hope youve done your chores for today and not just on here, now theres a good girl, you may dream of my 3 inches(3.5 when is push the ruler in) tonight i will allow it this once."
Down boy.
No slobbering on the keyboard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is why vibrators were invented lol
there completely useless, tried 1 but couldnt get any enjoyment out of it so just gave it to the cat to play with.
I mean really why would any women and to put a freakishly and probably dangerous, penis shaped object into there vagina, and let it vibrate there clit (also doubt it exists, could be a russian spy trick from the eighties to distract the americans), women want speed, ease of entry, the taste of sperm and warm sweaty balls on there chin.
P.S. i have sex with myself again.
Mrs Cosy sure is a lucky lady
yes she is, and i hope youve done your chores for today and not just on here, now theres a good girl, you may dream of my 3 inches(3.5 when is push the ruler in) tonight i will allow it this once.
Down boy.
No slobbering on the keyboard."
#
Mate, do as she says, she's one of those fiery red head types. |
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"sex is the only sport in the world where the faster a man is the worse he is,im mean really its not my fault ive been practising by myself since i was a kid and am now so good at it, it only takes me 4 min 22sec.
Come on ladies, you have to start putting in the practice you cant expect us to carry you in the bedroom.
like the other night after sex i got outta bed and she turned to me and said that was crap, i pointed out to her that the white stuff on the sheets (and her hair) was the mark of sucess, i told her give me 4 hours and acup of tea and id dish out the love pump for the second time! thats right twice! thats over 9 minutes of sex! needless to say i feel asleep and didnt do her the second time. "
funny stuff, you might be joking about your size and stamina but it's really how things are in our house hahaha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh right so, sorry.
BTW to late keyboard fucked, splash proof me arse.
Your arse is splashproof?
eh hem! thats never been tested thank you"
Yet.
The night is young |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh right so, sorry.
BTW to late keyboard fucked, splash proof me arse.
Your arse is splashproof?
eh hem! thats never been tested thank you
Yet.
The night is young "
Right im closing this thread |
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