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you know your totally fucked when,...?

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

take it away fabbers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"take it away fabbers "

Your dead

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"take it away fabbers

Your dead

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The lady you are with completely drains your balls

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

When they say "i was slightly concerned when you stopped breathing"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you can feel that "just fucked" feeling.

Love it

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When they say "i was slightly concerned when you stopped breathing""

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"The lady you are with completely drains your balls

with a syringe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You wake up dead... worst things in the world are waking up dead or being killed to death. You know you're fucked if that happens

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By *eady and Willing 9Man over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

"You wake up dead... worst things in the world are waking up dead or being killed to death. You know you're fucked if that happens

PMSL @ this

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By *ighland gentlemanMan over a year ago

Ardgay

When your wife asks to borrow your phone

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When you can feel that "just fucked" feeling.

Love it

yes that's a nice feeling but this is about being totally fucked

you no like when the zombie apocalypse is in full swing and your trapped on the roof of a car out of fuel surrounded by the undead with no way out and only one bullet left in the chamber .... or when the wife comes home and catches having a three way with her two sisters .

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When your wife asks to borrow your phone "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You wake up dead... worst things in the world are waking up dead or being killed to death. You know you're fucked if that happens

PMSL @ this"

There will always be someone who asks if it was something serious. Of course it was you're dead lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When a girl in her early twenties asks you.

A, did you drink in the red lion around 95/96

B, did you know a woman name.......

C, can you spit in this little bottle please

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Or if you're playing I spy on an airline and their answer is loose rivet

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When a girl in her early twenties asks you.

A, did you drink in the red lion around 95/96

B, did you know a woman name.......

C, can you spit in this little bottle please

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Or if you're playing I spy on an airline and their answer is loose rivet

or the air stewardess discreetly goes from passenger to passenger saying you wouldn't by any chance know how to fly a plane

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The lady you are with completely drains your balls

with a syringe

Never tryed that one that would be good to see

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

When I'm told to get fucked!

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When I'm told to get fucked!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

She says "I'm pregnant" and you are infertile!!

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

When you try to deepthroat with a blocked nose

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"She says "I'm pregnant" and you are infertile!!"

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When you try to deepthroat with a blocked nose"

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By *essandpatCouple over a year ago

chester

When you fall asleep x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You go to a fancy dress party in blue and white pyjamas and they direct you straight to the showers.

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When you fall asleep x"

is that on the job

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"You go to a fancy dress party in blue and white pyjamas and they direct you straight to the showers."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You got d*unk and come home quietly, sneak under the covers to give your missus oral while shes sleeping. Then go to the bathroom where your missus is brushing her teeth and she says: "shhhhh you will wake my mum"

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"You got d*unk and come home quietly, sneak under the covers to give your missus oral while shes sleeping. Then go to the bathroom where your missus is brushing her teeth and she says: "shhhhh you will wake my mum""

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That hot girl you've finally managed to sleep with turns out to be your sister.

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By *essandpatCouple over a year ago

chester

"When you fall asleep x

is that on the job

Yes x

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"That hot girl you've finally managed to sleep with turns out to be your sister."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The only person left to give you a hand job is Edward scissorhands

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By *essandpatCouple over a year ago

chester

When you find that your patents are on here x

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When you fall asleep x

is that on the job

Yes x"

I know someone who did that for real

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The only person left to give you a hand job is Edward scissorhands"

But you do it anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When you find that your patents are on here x"

Patients or parents? either way you are pretty fucked

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By *anky_PankyWoman over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

When my mouth is so dry that my tongue sticks to it and I just can't speak.....

Been there a few times!

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"The only person left to give you a hand job is Edward scissorhands"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You get back to hers after hooking up in the club and see her school uniform.

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By *ighland gentlemanMan over a year ago

Ardgay

Beep, beep, beepppppppppppppp

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The police turn up and think you are burying a body, only to find you with your cock out

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"You get back to hers after hooking up in the club and see her school uniform."

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By *.gerri.xTV/TS over a year ago

North west

Cottonmouth

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The police turn up and think you are burying a body, only to find you with your cock out

Even worse if they find you with your cock in though, lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

...you've been flirting hard with the oh all morning but the kids are home...then they go out and he turns round and says 'bedroom. Now'

I am totally fucked

Peach x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"...you've been flirting hard with the oh all morning but the kids are home...then they go out and he turns round and says 'bedroom. Now'

I am totally fucked

Peach x"

Good man penfold

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By *essandpatCouple over a year ago

chester

"When you fall asleep x

is that on the job

Yes x

I know someone who did that for real

No that's bad x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When the only thing left for a sex toy is a pineapple

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When you fall asleep x

is that on the job

Yes x

I know someone who did that for real

No that's bad x"

for him it was he's never lived it down even to this day

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By *essandpatCouple over a year ago

chester

"When you find that your patents are on here x

Patients or parents? either way you are pretty fucked"

Parents sorry I should read it before I send it lol x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"...you've been flirting hard with the oh all morning but the kids are home...then they go out and he turns round and says 'bedroom. Now'

I am totally fucked

Peach x

Good man penfold

I can't sit down

Peach x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"...you've been flirting hard with the oh all morning but the kids are home...then they go out and he turns round and says 'bedroom. Now'

I am totally fucked

Peach x

Good man penfold

I can't sit down

Peach x"

It wasn't me

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By *essandpatCouple over a year ago

chester

When you go to her house and she's being evicted and all her stuff is is in the garden including the bed x

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When you go to her house and she's being evicted and all her stuff is is in the garden including the bed x

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By *iss.RedWoman over a year ago

somewhere

You can't feel your face after you've just cum

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"You can't feel your face after you've just cum

the scientific name for that is Botox cramp

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By *iss.RedWoman over a year ago

somewhere

"You can't feel your face after you've just cum

the scientific name for that is Botox cramp

Is it? When it first happened I thought i was having a stroke!

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"You can't feel your face after you've just cum

the scientific name for that is Botox cramp

Is it? When it first happened I thought i was having a stroke!

a stroke of what

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By *iss.RedWoman over a year ago

somewhere

"You can't feel your face after you've just cum

the scientific name for that is Botox cramp

Is it? When it first happened I thought i was having a stroke!

a stroke of what

Haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"take it away fabbers "
when your mother calls you by your proper name

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"take it away fabbers when your mother calls you by your proper name

to true

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By *arksMan over a year ago

in the centre

When you create another account and answer yourself a few posts down a thread

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When you create another account and answer yourself a few posts down a thread

I bit like painting a smiley face on your right hand

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you take off what you think is a ball gag so she can give you oral, then find out too late it was actually a muzzle

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When you take off what you think is a ball gag so she can give you oral, then find out too late it was actually a muzzle"

harsh by still

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When today is national orgasm day and you are stuck on a boat in the middle of the north sea, with not a woman in sight

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you are walking the dog on the Salisbury plain in the middle of nowhere with no coat and the wind picks up and the sky goes darker and darker.

Then the thunder starts and the rain starts and you have to accept that by the time you get back to the car you will be ringing your knickers out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When the dark room isn't for printing photographs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you are at work in your tower block, looking across to the neighbouring one and you can see the smile on the face of a pilot of a passenger aircraft coming right at you.

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By *onestjohn1962Man over a year ago

Sheffield

When your dick is in the office cleaner's mouth and the boss walks in.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When your dick is in the office cleaner's mouth and the boss walks in.

Henry is a hoover don't dress this up.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"...you've been flirting hard with the oh all morning but the kids are home...then they go out and he turns round and says 'bedroom. Now'

I am totally fucked

Peach x

Good man penfold

Fuzz

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your legs are like jelly and walking is a no go

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"take it away fabbers "

When the rozzers are smashing your front door in

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its been 30mins after your 3rd round & your cock has called it a day

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you get to the vinegar stroke an you want to prolong it but you either go past the point of no return an cum or you lose all sensation and have to start again

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By *100Man over a year ago

Essex

When you've been at it for 8 hours and you can't take a deep breath cause your chest muscles are ready to explode and can't stand straight, omg that was the best night ever with a nurse more than twice my age I was 17 and she was gorgeous I wish I had got her number I didn't even know her name lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When you are walking the dog on the Salisbury plain in the middle of nowhere with no coat and the wind picks up and the sky goes darker and darker.

Then the thunder starts and the rain starts and you have to accept that by the time you get back to the car you will be ringing your knickers out."

We are waterproof, knickers are not. It's only logical for you not to wear any

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"take it away fabbers

When the rozzers are smashing your front door in

Not so bad as when they are smashing your back door in

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nightmare scenario is when handcuffed to the bed the key out of reach and your meet has a heart attack...

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By *eady and Willing 9Man over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

"You wake up dead... worst things in the world are waking up dead or being killed to death. You know you're fucked if that happens

PMSL @ this

There will always be someone who asks if it was something serious. Of course it was you're dead lol"

Haha. #Dead

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By *eady and Willing 9Man over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

"Its been 30mins after your 3rd round & your cock has called it a day

Definitely this lol

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By *eady and Willing 9Man over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

"When you try to deepthroat with a blocked nose"

I've heard that's a bitch! Lol

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By *essandpatCouple over a year ago

chester

When your the only woman left on the planet x

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By *ust PeachyWoman over a year ago

Prestonish

"take it away fabbers "

When you're led side to side, knackered and slightly tender, with bloody huge grins on your faces!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Your body defrosts from its cryogenically frozen state because of power cuts

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When you are walking the dog on the Salisbury plain in the middle of nowhere with no coat and the wind picks up and the sky goes darker and darker.

Then the thunder starts and the rain starts and you have to accept that by the time you get back to the car you will be ringing your knickers out."

all my social meets must feel totally fucked then because I always leave them squirming in there soaking when panties to guarantee a second more adventuress meet

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When your the only woman left on the planet x"

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By *axandbooCouple over a year ago

Bristol

Your totally fucked when you plan for a 4 week month but its 5 weeks and your account is in negative numbers

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Nightmare scenario is when handcuffed to the bed the key out of reach and your meet has a heart attack... "

and the passer by who kindly answers your cries for help takes one look at you and decides to rob the place leaving you as you are

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Your body defrosts from its cryogenically frozen state because of power cuts"

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Your totally fucked when you plan for a 4 week month but its 5 weeks and your account is in negative numbers "

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By *quirtyMcSquirtyWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

When you've been left in such an orgasmic state that you don't know what day it is or what to do xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I log in..

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When I log in.."

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

You're broke and have no organs left to sell

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"You're broke and have no organs left to sell"

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By *alcon43Woman over a year ago

Paisley

When you're so frazzled after your Domme has forced you to cum several times and you've soaked the bed by squirting that you need a cup of tea and a Swiss roll for a sugar boost!

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By *enmidsguyMan over a year ago

birmingham

"When they say "i was slightly concerned when you stopped breathing""

love it!

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When you're so frazzled after your Domme has forced you to cum several times and you've soaked the bed by squirting that you need a cup of tea and a Swiss roll for a sugar boost! "

and he only got down to business 20 minutes early

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By *essandpatCouple over a year ago

chester

When you favourite toy has broken and you only have the tv remote button to press lol x

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By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"When you favourite toy has broken and you only have the tv remote button to press lol x"

have you tried the washing machine on a spin cycle

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By *essandpatCouple over a year ago