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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"Lol i think the fail should be laid on the barber. Everytime i leave one, i walk down the street fixing my mop in every shop window!!"
She came at me like Edward Scissorhands and I've never seen her again but they were at right angles to my head - people honestly talked differently for a month. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I noticed my friend in Azda so I walked up behind her and slapped her bum and said hello bitchface.
Then the woman turned around and it wasn't my friend  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me after my FWB showed me some wind turbines to the side of the A road, half an hour later further down the road we saw some more and I said...."Are those the ones we saw just now" The look he gave me was priceless and I realized my silly gaff straight away XXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Took my dog on a long walk a while back. While I went into a cafe to buy lunch, my dog saw a bird fly over a bush into the back garden. Out of the blue, she jumped 5 feet in the air after the bird. She ended up stuck in the bush on her leash (which Marc was holding).  |
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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago
Traffic land |
"Went to the barbers and asked for a two back and sides, I came out with a haircut like Jim Carrey from Dumb and Dumber. "
Hmmm, I had something similar when my hairdresser went on maternity leave, replacement cut my fringe so short I looked like Dave Hill from Slade 
I face planted in front of the whole company during our Christmas do... I was sober!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Went to the barbers and asked for a two back and sides, I came out with a haircut like Jim Carrey from Dumb and Dumber.
Hmmm, I had something similar when my hairdresser went on maternity leave, replacement cut my fringe so short I looked like Dave Hill from Slade
I face planted in front of the whole company during our Christmas do... I was sober!
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was going to a concert, looking pristine and well turned out. Walking around the City centre, two seagulls decided to shit on my head and part of my face. Two elderly men from the local Legion saw it and ushered me inside and proceeded to wipe me down with napkins.... Suffice to say, a metal concert would have been more apt, by the time they wiped it off. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was going to a concert, looking pristine and well turned out. Walking around the City centre, two seagulls decided to shit on my head and part of my face. Two elderly men from the local Legion saw it and ushered me inside and proceeded to wipe me down with napkins.... Suffice to say, a metal concert would have been more apt, by the time they wiped it off. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was 18 and desperately, desperately in love with a girl. Invited her down to London. Planned to take her to ChinaTown because she loved genuine chinese food.
For some daft reason I decided to borrow the parents' car and drive up, perhaps to add to the cool impression I was trying to generate.
Got lost in a crowded Soho street market and suddenly became aware of a woman on the pavement screaming. I wound down the window. You're on my husband's foot' she shouted. A brief glance at the guy next to her, his face wreathed in agony, told me that she wasn't exaggerating.
I rolled the car forward a bit and she screamed again. By this time I was very flustered. Thinking I had somehow driven onto his other foot, I reversed. I felt the car lift slightly as I rolled over his foot again.
I apologised profusely but he was in so much pain that he was unable to speak. He just waved me away. Prospective girlfriend was looking shocked.
10 minutes later, some composure had been regained. I had extracted us from Soho and was driving up Tottenham Court Rd. Thinking I now had everything back under control, I turned to give her my impression of a suave confident smile. But all I saw was her looking forward with her eyes wide open in horror. I turned back, just in time to see us bash into the car in front.
Never saw her again after that day. Can't think why. |
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