FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Feelings for someone in a relationship.
Feelings for someone in a relationship.
Jump to: Newest in thread
Okay so there's been someone I've been talking to for months and we've met twice. He's in a relationship etc. He started flirting with me a while back and I wasn't interested. Then started up again and this time for some reason I've flirted back.
First time we met was at cinema 2 weeks ago then he came to mine 2 days later and done stuff but not sex.
I like him, a fucking lot. And apparently he feels the same way but won't end things with his gf.
Do I just walk away? It's fucking with my head tbh. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Walk away... It's the thrill of the chase and the whole "naughtiness" for him. You profess your feeling and insist he dumps his girlfriend, he will be gone. He won't dump her but wants his cake and not only eat it, but wants a sparkly candle on the top! And yes, as you know from your OP, you shouldn't be having anything to do with someone in a relationship!" I usually don't go anywhere near anyone if they're in a relationship, but he knows I'm vunerable atm so maybe been playing on that... | |||
| |||
"I'm probably gonna get judged for this but ya know. Kiss my arse.
Okay so there's been someone I've been talking to for months and we've met twice. He's in a relationship etc. He started flirting with me a while back and I wasn't interested. Then started up again and this time for some reason I've flirted back.
First time we met was at cinema 2 weeks ago then he came to mine 2 days later and done stuff but not sex.
I like him, a fucking lot. And apparently he feels the same way but won't end things with his gf.
Do I just walk away? It's fucking with my head tbh."Ok no judging but, he's clearly said he's not going to give his girlfriend up. So can you cope with the jealousy, and the backlash If she finds out. Can you be the other woman who gets snippets of his time and the excuses if he can't get away. That is the decision x | |||
 | |||
| |||
"Shag him first" Why?! | |||
"I'm probably gonna get judged for this but ya know. Kiss my arse.
Okay so there's been someone I've been talking to for months and we've met twice. He's in a relationship etc. He started flirting with me a while back and I wasn't interested. Then started up again and this time for some reason I've flirted back.
First time we met was at cinema 2 weeks ago then he came to mine 2 days later and done stuff but not sex.
I like him, a fucking lot. And apparently he feels the same way but won't end things with his gf.
Do I just walk away? It's fucking with my head tbh.
Ok no judging but, he's clearly said he's not going to give his girlfriend up. So can you cope with the jealousy, and the backlash If she finds out. Can you be the other woman who gets snippets of his time and the excuses if he can't get away. That is the decision x "That's what it's like atm. It does annoy me... | |||
"He is not being fair to you so walk away would be my advice ..if he wants you he'll end his relationship and come calling ..at the moment he doesnt need to do anything and wont aslong as he has you dangling on a string "True. | |||
"Don't just walk away! Run! You deserve better than that! " I do and thanks | |||
| |||
| |||
"Shag him first Why?!" May as well get something out of it. | |||
"Shag him first Why?! May as well get something out of it. " Preach my brother. | |||
| |||
| |||
"Walk away... It's the thrill of the chase and the whole "naughtiness" for him. You profess your feeling and insist he dumps his girlfriend, he will be gone. He won't dump her but wants his cake and not only eat it, but wants a sparkly candle on the top! And yes, as you know from your OP, you shouldn't be having anything to do with someone in a relationship! I usually don't go anywhere near anyone if they're in a relationship, but he knows I'm vunerable atm so maybe been playing on that..." Classy guy. Divest yourself and find someone who wants to be with you because YOU and not an for an ego stroke or spicy sex in the side. | |||
| |||
"Walk away. If it were the other way around and you found out your partner cheated on you how would you feel." Been there. | |||
| |||
"Walk away... It's the thrill of the chase and the whole "naughtiness" for him. You profess your feeling and insist he dumps his girlfriend, he will be gone. He won't dump her but wants his cake and not only eat it, but wants a sparkly candle on the top! And yes, as you know from your OP, you shouldn't be having anything to do with someone in a relationship!" What these guys said  wise words of wisdom | |||
| |||
| |||
"Wait a minute.. this is not a "dating site" is it? if you like him .fuck him. if you want a Partner, your looking in the wrong place. least the bloke is been upfront. you sound like a nice girl. my advice? use this site for Fun. and the other dating site for potential partner. "As I've mentioned above. Did I say it was? Hmm? This site is how I deemed fit. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"I'm probably gonna get judged for this but ya know. Kiss my arse.
Okay so there's been someone I've been talking to for months and we've met twice. He's in a relationship etc. He started flirting with me a while back and I wasn't interested. Then started up again and this time for some reason I've flirted back.
First time we met was at cinema 2 weeks ago then he came to mine 2 days later and done stuff but not sex.
I like him, a fucking lot. And apparently he feels the same way but won't end things with his gf.
Do I just walk away? It's fucking with my head tbh."You have amswered your own question by saying he wont emd things with his gf He just wants to have his cake and be able to eat it He and people like him (girls like this as well) are not worth the oxogen it takes to tell them to fuck off | |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
" Do I just walk away? It's fucking with my head tbh." To OP clearly. Right so something happened to us recently that made me rethink again about this stuff. A potentially great play partner admitted he wasn't single before meeting. Before anyone asks, We've explained our position and are no longer willing to play at all, and he respects this. Seemed like a lovely guy tbh, but obviously he'll be villified for being here without her knowledge, and that's to be expected. However, the reasons he gave we're very understandable, even if we don't agree with his actions. He explained that his relationship lacked just one great aspect, sexual thrill and excitement. He said he's floated the idea of swinging with his gf, and she flat out wants nothing to do with it, and that he's too interested to not try without her. So I sooorrta see his point. Everything else is there for him with her, she's fun, makes him laugh, smile and be happy, im assuming she's attractive and he feels like he loves the girl. But deep down, on the sex level, she's not fulfilling his apparent wants / needs. Now where I don't like this is based on my own experiences. I've dated a fair few girls in my time, and sometimes the sex was good, and sometimes it wasn't, sometimes I said I loved them and meant it, sometimes I didn't ever say it (I've never lied about loving someone). But I've also cheated in the past when I wwas still a little bit more immature, because I couldn't keep my wants under control very well, and never felt fulfilled somehow. I ended up subconsciously seeking other women, a lot like what I'd imagine this guy who spoke to us is doing now, and possibly the guy talking to you. I eventually figured out why though, and it was all about compatibility. All of these girls I'd been seeing had seemed awesomee, and fulfilled around 80-90% if what I was looking for. I knew there was just something missing, but you don't hit on 19 do you? That is, until you realise what 21 looks like. I didn't even know what was even missing until I actually found it either. What I'd been after the whole time that was just someone who had all of those earlier things I found attractive, but also thought a lot like me on how I view love and relationships in general in regards to sex. To me, love isn't pretending you'll never look at another person and have a naughty urge, be it biological or otherwise, to want to sleep with them. Sex to me was fun, it was a hobby almost, and I loved being able to be open and have as much fun as possible. That didn't mean I needed a mug who'd let me sleep around though, it meant I needed someone who would want to be exactly the same with me and follow her own urges too, and hopefully find some fun to be had in each others desires. Someone who would treat me more like a best friend, be there for each other through thick and thin, someone who'd make me laugh, someone to be an idiot with and someone who I could always be open and speak my mind with about my own naughty sexy side, and who would never hold her tongue about hers either. Do you get mad when your best friend gets laid? No you, ask if it was fun and to give you the juice details and have fun talking to someone on the same wavelength about it all. Since I've found that, I'm muuuuuuch happier, even though swinging wasn't something we just dived head first into and we've continued to tread lightly, figuring out what we want together, and being cool with each other when we cross a line and just discussing it like adults. We've become a better couple because of it. The guy your seeing could be what all these girls say and have his cake and eat it, he could just be a fuckboy who wants to fuck about as much as possible, or he may just be afraid to hit on that 19 he has at home. If he's unwilling to do that though, he may never actually be happy. My advice, leave this one, at least for now, and continue looking for what you want. He might just grow up one day, but it's likely not now, especially if you're fulfilling the role she's not, and you may end up being to preoccupied to spot your own 21 if it crosses your path. **For those wondering 19 and 21 are blackjack references.** | |||
"one thing. If he has done it with you he may have done it before so be under no illusion you are his 1st or maybe wont be his last a cheat will always be one "This | |||
"Walk away... It's the thrill of the chase and the whole "naughtiness" for him. You profess your feeling and insist he dumps his girlfriend, he will be gone. He won't dump her but wants his cake and not only eat it, but wants a sparkly candle on the top! And yes, as you know from your OP, you shouldn't be having anything to do with someone in a relationship! I usually don't go anywhere near anyone if they're in a relationship, but he knows I'm vunerable atm so maybe been playing on that..." In other words, he neither respects you nor his girlfriend, is that all you think you're worth? | |||
| |||
Good luck | |||
| |||
"If I were you I'd be looking to meet other guys on here and be flirting outrageously with the guy you mention. But only if you can handle the fact he has a gf he has no intention of leaving. Put your feelings in a box and have fun! "Sorry No i disagree. that means leading him on with flirting. personally keeping feelings in a box doesnt always work as they do spill out | |||
"The more you spend time with him, flirt with him etc the stronger your feelings will get. He won't leave his girlfriend so try and forget about him. His girlfriend is the innocent party here too so try and put yourself in her situation and how you'd feel if someone was trying to shag your boyfriend, I know he's being a dick head by cheating but don't bring that sort of bad karma on yourself. " Yup this. It's not worth getting involved with someone who's heart already belongs to someone else, run, before you get any deeper! | |||
"He's not on this site btw. I need to see him face to face to end what's going on because I know what we're doing is wrong. Maybe because he's the first person to show me any attention and I loved it. But I deserve better than second best. " You've said it yourself. If you can't be number one, why should you be number two. You deserve better.  | |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
"I'm probably gonna get judged for this but ya know. Kiss my arse.
Okay so there's been someone I've been talking to for months and we've met twice. He's in a relationship etc. He started flirting with me a while back and I wasn't interested. Then started up again and this time for some reason I've flirted back.
First time we met was at cinema 2 weeks ago then he came to mine 2 days later and done stuff but not sex.
I like him, a fucking lot. And apparently he feels the same way but won't end things with his gf.
Do I just walk away? It's fucking with my head tbh."I'm not going to judge you. Walk away as he is someone else's and everyone will end up getting hurt the longer this goes on. If it's ment to be it will happen when everything can be in the open. | |||
| |||
| |||
"I'm probably gonna get judged for this but ya know. Kiss my arse.
Okay so there's been someone I've been talking to for months and we've met twice. He's in a relationship etc. He started flirting with me a while back and I wasn't interested. Then started up again and this time for some reason I've flirted back.
First time we met was at cinema 2 weeks ago then he came to mine 2 days later and done stuff but not sex.
I like him, a fucking lot. And apparently he feels the same way but won't end things with his gf.
Do I just walk away? It's fucking with my head tbh."What's the alternative to walking away? Do you want that alternative? | |||
"Love when people say a cheat will always be a cheat "Most the time they will be. | |||
| |||
"Love when people say a cheat will always be a cheat
Most the time they will be. "No. Not really. People cheat because of situations. | |||
| |||
| |||
"Ended things with him. I walked away." That's very brave, well done for doing the best thing | |||
"Love when people say a cheat will always be a cheat "Indeed. Its not always that straightforward | |||
"Love when people say a cheat will always be a cheat
Most the time they will be.
No. Not really. People cheat because of situations.
"not always. Some cheat because they need to. To op.. do what is right for you | |||
"Ended things with him. I walked away." Well done  | |||
"I'm probably gonna get judged for this but ya know. Kiss my arse.
Okay so there's been someone I've been talking to for months and we've met twice. He's in a relationship etc. He started flirting with me a while back and I wasn't interested. Then started up again and this time for some reason I've flirted back.
First time we met was at cinema 2 weeks ago then he came to mine 2 days later and done stuff but not sex.
I like him, a fucking lot. And apparently he feels the same way but won't end things with his gf.
Do I just walk away? It's fucking with my head tbh."Say he ends it. You start a relationship. He dumps you because his bit on the side insisted?  x | |||
"Love when people say a cheat will always be a cheat
Most the time they will be.
No. Not really. People cheat because of situations.
not always. Some cheat because they need to.
To op.. do what is right for you"They 'need to' kay... | |||
"Ended things with him. I walked away." Good on ya Stay strong. You'll look back with no regrets. | |||
"Ended things with him. I walked away." Well done you, very brave. You will feel better for it eventually. I find meeting up with some hotties from here always makes me feel ten feet tall and able to face a lot of stuff head on xx | |||
"Love when people say a cheat will always be a cheat
Most the time they will be.
No. Not really. People cheat because of situations.
not always. Some cheat because they need to.
To op.. do what is right for you
They 'need to' kay..."I had a rant about this earlier. | |||
"Ended things with him. I walked away." Good for you! Now you can get on with having some fun on here! | |||
"He's not on this site btw. I need to see him face to face to end what's going on because I know what we're doing is wrong. Maybe because he's the first person to show me any attention and I loved it. But I deserve better than second best. " I think you have answered your own question here. Everyone deserves being better than being the bit on the side. Good luck! | |||
"Ended things with him. I walked away." Just catching up on thread - apologies. Well done, I think you've done the best thing! | |||
| |||
"Ended things with him. I walked away." But you fucked him first, right? | |||
"Ended things with him. I walked away. But you fucked him first, right?" Just to see if he was good or not lol | |||
"Ended things with him. I walked away. But you fucked him first, right? Just to see if he was good or not lol" That's why she walked away. He only lasted 2 minutes. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Lol no I didn't get a chance to fuck him. " Oh i see. He couldn't get it up. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
"Definitely walk away, why allow him to have you as a bit the side?" This | |||
| |||
"OP - You the same as last night? Told him it's over and walked away?" Yep. | |||
"OP - You the same as last night? Told him it's over and walked away? Yep." Good. Get on with your life | |||
"Walk away... It's the thrill of the chase and the whole "naughtiness" for him. You profess your feeling and insist he dumps his girlfriend, he will be gone. He won't dump her but wants his cake and not only eat it, but wants a sparkly candle on the top! And yes, as you know from your OP, you shouldn't be having anything to do with someone in a relationship! I usually don't go anywhere near anyone if they're in a relationship, but he knows I'm vunerable atm so maybe been playing on that..." You're vulnerable. He's in a relationship he's not going to leave. How does your current situation help you, as I can't see any advantage. | |||
"Ended things with him. I walked away." Sounds like the best thing. You were on the road to more pain, you knew it too. Onwards and upwards now! | |||
"Love when people say a cheat will always be a cheat "Absolutely, it could be that they are still looking for the right person. | |||
. Hope what ever road you go down you don't get hurt x | |||
