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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I've decided to take time out from my kink Dom/ sub choice world and recently entered into a vanilla relationship. It's a new thing as I've found in my chosen life choices Dom/ sub relationships tend not to be so good. Don't get me wrong the few ( about 4) Doms I've had BDSM relations with ( all longer term) don't actually seek a real relationships. I've decided that growning old alone not to be overly appealing hence my new choice.
I've met an amazing new man. What I'm sure should be every girls dream but I'm struggling to cope. I miss the pervy me ( this is very not him) and all that goes with it.
I've never been one to judge people who play away from home as we live in the real world and people do for their own reasons, but for myself I've never once been unfaithful to another but will put my hands up to playing with other people's men ( yeah yeah shot me!) when I've been single.
I'm now wondering how long I'll last faithful or other wise. What a shite predicament I've gone and got myself into . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Talk to him...?
He knows what I am( was) 
And he's not keen?"
You can't make someone they're not. Don't get me wrong he's a great person. But he's not a Dominant in Any shape or form. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Talk to him...?
He knows what I am( was)
And he's not keen?
You can't make someone they're not. Don't get me wrong he's a great person. But he's not a Dominant in Any shape or form. "
I reckon you'll get bored quite easily  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Talk to him...?"
+ 1 
I'm sure people are going to be aware that people have a past in their 30's and 40's - so just talk to him. May not have to go into graphic detail, but hint you like to be spicy now and again and I'm sure you'll find him receptive!
Start slow and see where it goes! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've decided to take time out from my kink Dom/ sub choice world and recently entered into a vanilla relationship. It's a new thing as I've found in my chosen life choices Dom/ sub relationships tend not to be so good. Don't get me wrong the few ( about 4) Doms I've had BDSM relations with ( all longer term) don't actually seek a real relationships. I've decided that growning old alone not to be overly appealing hence my new choice.
I've met an amazing new man. What I'm sure should be every girls dream but I'm struggling to cope. I miss the pervy me ( this is very not him) and all that goes with it.
I've never been one to judge people who play away from home as we live in the real world and people do for their own reasons, but for myself I've never once been unfaithful to another but will put my hands up to playing with other people's men ( yeah yeah shot me!) when I've been single.
I'm now wondering how long I'll last faithful or other wise. What a shite predicament I've gone and got myself into ."
Why not seek a relationship with a D type who does want more than just D/s?
I met my Master on FL nearly five years ago. We're bonkers in love as well as having an M/s dynamic and got married a couple of years ago.
If your relationship isn't satisfying you show the guy some respect and talk to him instead of cheating. |
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"So I've decided to take time out from my kink Dom/ sub choice world and recently entered into a vanilla relationship. It's a new thing as I've found in my chosen life choices Dom/ sub relationships tend not to be so good. Don't get me wrong the few ( about 4) Doms I've had BDSM relations with ( all longer term) don't actually seek a real relationships. I've decided that growning old alone not to be overly appealing hence my new choice.
I've met an amazing new man. What I'm sure should be every girls dream but I'm struggling to cope. I miss the pervy me ( this is very not him) and all that goes with it.
I've never been one to judge people who play away from home as we live in the real world and people do for their own reasons, but for myself I've never once been unfaithful to another but will put my hands up to playing with other people's men ( yeah yeah shot me!) when I've been single.
I'm now wondering how long I'll last faithful or other wise. What a shite predicament I've gone and got myself into ."
You are sort of blaming yourself for meeting what you call an amazing man that any woman would dream of .... but would they? Dont compromise your fear of a lonely old age, you will end up lonelier with him than without |
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Personally if I'm in a relationship and not getting what I want/need and consider straying I generally end it as I think it's unfair to stay with someone and end up resenting them. As much as I would of liked to have my cake and eat it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok I see from the other posts that he already knows about your past. So at least it's not a surprise.
I'd still just start talking and seeing if there are parts you can bring into your sex life and take it from there |
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"Talk to him...?
He knows what I am( was)
And he's not keen?
You can't make someone they're not. Don't get me wrong he's a great person. But he's not a Dominant in Any shape or form. "
That's not really the central issue though, the real question is whether he would be interested in a form of ethical non-mongamy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've decided to take time out from my kink Dom/ sub choice world and recently entered into a vanilla relationship. It's a new thing as I've found in my chosen life choices Dom/ sub relationships tend not to be so good. Don't get me wrong the few ( about 4) Doms I've had BDSM relations with ( all longer term) don't actually seek a real relationships. I've decided that growning old alone not to be overly appealing hence my new choice.
I've met an amazing new man. What I'm sure should be every girls dream but I'm struggling to cope. I miss the pervy me ( this is very not him) and all that goes with it.
I've never been one to judge people who play away from home as we live in the real world and people do for their own reasons, but for myself I've never once been unfaithful to another but will put my hands up to playing with other people's men ( yeah yeah shot me!) when I've been single.
I'm now wondering how long I'll last faithful or other wise. What a shite predicament I've gone and got myself into ."
I'm sure others will disagree...
But personally we never find the full package in someone, they rarely exist... So something ( ie your kinky side) either has to give...
Or you have the best of both worlds... And have your kinky fix on the side..
Or just talk to him and tell him how you feel and that's a part of you that you miss.
Life's too short at the end of the day so just enjoy it however YOU want to.
As for all the judgemental people in life, they will always be there and at the end of the day ... It's none of their bloody business!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Talk to him...?
He knows what I am( was) "
I'm not saying asking him to do anything he's not interested in. I mean talk to him. Say exactly what you've said here. Who knows what solutions may be out there and likewise, it will help you both decide if this is what you should pursue.
He may be open to you swinging to get full needs met, he may have other ideas...you may uncover ideas to get the answers you want. And sometimes talking through a problem and being able to talk about it removes the problem being a problem. You may reach the conclusion this isn't right and allow him the ability to see that too.
If you're in a relationship, you really should be talking about how that relationship is working for you, or not.
Good luck. |
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