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Paranoia
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"What makes women so paranoid and insecure? Is it in their DNA?"
don't want to sound like a 'loony leftie' but society and the media telling them from being kids that they have to be a certain way cant help |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I don't understand it though, she has all the fun, but yet still paranoid about what I'm looking at on the internet (twitter) bloody ridiculous and annoying |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way"
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship"
Why are you messaging about your partner in the forums? Does she not have the ability to log into the forums? If she exists then she does and will see all this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand it though, she has all the fun, but yet still paranoid about what I'm looking at on the internet (twitter) bloody ridiculous and annoying"
Ah, you mean why is your wife so paranoid.
I wasn't paranoid about my husband; I didn't know where he went or looked at his phone. Until he made it obvious that he was seeing another woman, and had been for years. Maybe I should have followed him about and checked his phone.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship"
You asked what makes women paranoid. But you have just acknowledged where your lady's paranoia springs from. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
Why are you messaging about your partner in the forums? Does she not have the ability to log into the forums? If she exists then she does and will see all this "
No she doesn't log in alone, but I show her all conversations |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Normally it's because we know that our other half is up to something despite their best attempts "
Men can be really crap at hiding stuff from us. I know loads more men that have cheated than women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
Why are you messaging about your partner in the forums? Does she not have the ability to log into the forums? If she exists then she does and will see all this
No she doesn't log in alone, but I show her all conversations"
So you'd show her this? If I was her I'd be very cross |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
You asked what makes women paranoid. But you have just acknowledged where your lady's paranoia springs from. "
Yes but why does it carry over to another relationship. Is it once scarred, scarred forever? If that's the case then surely every women with a bad experience is ruining any chance of a normal relationship further down the line? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if you are talking about the f half of the couple and you are the m - maybe chat to her first
Pfft you've got to be kidding "
i was being deadly serious actually - if you cant talk through stuff and all that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
Why are you messaging about your partner in the forums? Does she not have the ability to log into the forums? If she exists then she does and will see all this "
This.
It end in tears when she finds out he's been moaning about her to the whole site.
Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Ha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
Why are you messaging about your partner in the forums? Does she not have the ability to log into the forums? If she exists then she does and will see all this
No she doesn't log in alone, but I show her all conversations
So you'd show her this? If I was her I'd be very cross "
Yeah she will see this, why would you be cross? She knows she's paranoid and acknowledges this |
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"Normally it's because we know that our other half is up to something despite their best attempts
Men can be really crap at hiding stuff from us. I know loads more men that have cheated than women. "
That might be your experience but statistically there's no difference between the rate at which men and women cheat. Which makes initiative sense unless you believe unmarried women have a preference for married men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
You asked what makes women paranoid. But you have just acknowledged where your lady's paranoia springs from.
Yes but why does it carry over to another relationship. Is it once scarred, scarred forever? If that's the case then surely every women with a bad experience is ruining any chance of a normal relationship further down the line?"
works the other way round as well as some fellas have been treated badly and just takes time and understanding from the new other half |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Psychologically it's known as transference in this case. Bringing an event that happened in the past and behaving as if it's happening in the present. It happens because something in the present reminds you of the experience and triggers the behaviour that belongs in the past, in the present.
To deal with it, the first stage is to recognise and name what's happening, then to see how what's happening in the present is not like the experience in the past. To help her you need to be understanding because the emotions on the presentare real, although the experience is in the past. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
Why are you messaging about your partner in the forums? Does she not have the ability to log into the forums? If she exists then she does and will see all this
This.
It end in tears when she finds out he's been moaning about her to the whole site.
Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Ha"
This.
As per OP's other message he sees nothing wrong in sharing his partners personal matters with a bunch of complete strangers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if you hadnt written that it was ridiculous and foolish id think you were trying to understand her - is it such a big deal for you not to look on twitter if it bothers her |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
Why are you messaging about your partner in the forums? Does she not have the ability to log into the forums? If she exists then she does and will see all this
This.
It end in tears when she finds out he's been moaning about her to the whole site.
Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Ha
This.
As per OP's other message he sees nothing wrong in sharing his partners personal matters with a bunch of complete strangers "
As oppose to having sec with a bunch of strangers  |
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"if you hadnt written that it was ridiculous and foolish id think you were trying to understand her - is it such a big deal for you not to look on twitter if it bothers her "
First twitter, but what next? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
Why are you messaging about your partner in the forums? Does she not have the ability to log into the forums? If she exists then she does and will see all this
This.
It end in tears when she finds out he's been moaning about her to the whole site.
Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Ha
This.
As per OP's other message he sees nothing wrong in sharing his partners personal matters with a bunch of complete strangers
As oppose to having sec with a bunch of strangers "
Yeah just read your profile, it's very you orientated isn't it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"if you hadnt written that it was ridiculous and foolish id think you were trying to understand her - is it such a big deal for you not to look on twitter if it bothers her "
Yes it is a big deal, where does it stop? Not watching tv because someone good looking is on? Not reading a paper because there is a page 3? Not looking at anybody in the street? Never working with a female? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From a mans perspective I can see what you are saying .. alot of men think the same. But that said, we cant be that bad or every man would turn gay or stay celibate.
All i know as a woman I over analyse, I think too much and im pretty sure alot of women do.
But paranoid? no. Insecure.. No.
Could you elaborate OP?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
Why are you messaging about your partner in the forums? Does she not have the ability to log into the forums? If she exists then she does and will see all this
This.
It end in tears when she finds out he's been moaning about her to the whole site.
Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Ha
This.
As per OP's other message he sees nothing wrong in sharing his partners personal matters with a bunch of complete strangers
As oppose to having sec with a bunch of strangers
Yeah just read your profile, it's very you orientated isn't it "
Nope I disagree, it's very female orientated but written from my perspective |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"From a mans perspective I can see what you are saying .. alot of men think the same. But that said, we cant be that bad or every man would turn gay or stay celibate.
All i know as a woman I over analyse, I think too much and im pretty sure alot of women do.
But paranoid? no. Insecure.. No.
Could you elaborate OP?
"
Sounds the same, overthinks a lot of things. |
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"What makes women so paranoid and insecure? Is it in their DNA?"
I think it's the fact they over think more or less everything and usually attach feelings to their everyday life. Insecure is from past experiences and learnt behaviour. The more you Think,the worse it usually gets because they basically have conversations with themselves and wind themselves up to the point,then they blow. Quick run!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if you hadnt written that it was ridiculous and foolish id think you were trying to understand her - is it such a big deal for you not to look on twitter if it bothers her
Yes it is a big deal, where does it stop? Not watching tv because someone good looking is on? Not reading a paper because there is a page 3? Not looking at anybody in the street? Never working with a female?"
if its that bad she needs help then - not this which will add fuel to the fire - if youre talking here who else are you talking to - will be what shes thinking |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"if you hadnt written that it was ridiculous and foolish id think you were trying to understand her - is it such a big deal for you not to look on twitter if it bothers her
Yes it is a big deal, where does it stop? Not watching tv because someone good looking is on? Not reading a paper because there is a page 3? Not looking at anybody in the street? Never working with a female?
if its that bad she needs help then - not this which will add fuel to the fire - if youre talking here who else are you talking to - will be what shes thinking "
Understand that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What makes women so paranoid and insecure? Is it in their DNA?"
Ladies are paranoid when you give them something to be paranoid about. Stop doing shady shit and they wont have a reason to be paranoid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What makes women so paranoid and insecure? Is it in their DNA?
Ladies are paranoid when you give them something to be paranoid about. Stop doing shady shit and they wont have a reason to be paranoid"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From a mans perspective I can see what you are saying .. alot of men think the same. But that said, we cant be that bad or every man would turn gay or stay celibate.
All i know as a woman I over analyse, I think too much and im pretty sure alot of women do.
But paranoid? no. Insecure.. No.
Could you elaborate OP?
Sounds the same, overthinks a lot of things. "
Yes and rather than talk about it we might bottle it up and then it all comes out in a heated argument.
Plus we never forget and bring up the same old issues from before.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What makes women so paranoid and insecure? Is it in their DNA?
Ladies are paranoid when you give them something to be paranoid about. Stop doing shady shit and they wont have a reason to be paranoid"
Errmmm who's doing shady shit? |
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"That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship"
Can I just say - wow. What a nice caring and understanding man you seem to be.  /sarcasm
My exes were all horrible. Controlling, violent and suspicious of everything I did. I tell my friends I love them - one of my exes accused me of being a "dirty lesbian" because of this.
All of these issues have stayed with me through my current relationship. Fortunately my other half is kind, gentle and understanding. It took a long time, and a lot of patience on his part, but I now feel comfortable telling him about what's has happened in my day, including talking about my male colleagues. I could never do that with my previous partners.
Now when he asks me who someone is, or who I was in the phone to, I know he's just interested in my life and he's not checking up on me. I used to think he was but that was because of the way I was treated in previous relationships.
In fact, almost every time I mention someone I'm friends with or work with, he usually asks me who it is, even if I've spoken about them before. It's because his memory is rubbish!
Perhaps you could be a little more understanding to your partner? Ask her about her issues (we all have them) and give her a safe, comfortable space to explore them with your full support.
S x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"this works both ways - men can be so much so as well"
Maybe it's because I'm so laid back and take things as they come. Maybe that's why I don't understand it or not as sympathetic adidas should be. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
Can I just say - wow. What a nice caring and understanding man you seem to be. /sarcasm
My exes were all horrible. Controlling, violent and suspicious of everything I did. I tell my friends I love them - one of my exes accused me of being a "dirty lesbian" because of this.
All of these issues have stayed with me through my current relationship. Fortunately my other half is kind, gentle and understanding. It took a long time, and a lot of patience on his part, but I now feel comfortable telling him about what's has happened in my day, including talking about my male colleagues. I could never do that with my previous partners.
Now when he asks me who someone is, or who I was in the phone to, I know he's just interested in my life and he's not checking up on me. I used to think he was but that was because of the way I was treated in previous relationships.
In fact, almost every time I mention someone I'm friends with or work with, he usually asks me who it is, even if I've spoken about them before. It's because his memory is rubbish!
Perhaps you could be a little more understanding to your partner? Ask her about her issues (we all have them) and give her a safe, comfortable space to explore them with your full support.
S x"
That's the thing I don't question anything she does or try to control her in any way shape or form. |
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"That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
Can I just say - wow. What a nice caring and understanding man you seem to be. /sarcasm
My exes were all horrible. Controlling, violent and suspicious of everything I did. I tell my friends I love them - one of my exes accused me of being a "dirty lesbian" because of this.
All of these issues have stayed with me through my current relationship. Fortunately my other half is kind, gentle and understanding. It took a long time, and a lot of patience on his part, but I now feel comfortable telling him about what's has happened in my day, including talking about my male colleagues. I could never do that with my previous partners.
Now when he asks me who someone is, or who I was in the phone to, I know he's just interested in my life and he's not checking up on me. I used to think he was but that was because of the way I was treated in previous relationships.
In fact, almost every time I mention someone I'm friends with or work with, he usually asks me who it is, even if I've spoken about them before. It's because his memory is rubbish!
Perhaps you could be a little more understanding to your partner? Ask her about her issues (we all have them) and give her a safe, comfortable space to explore them with your full support.
S x"
I find it suspicious when someone says "all my ex's are horrible" - you are the common denominator. At the least you are a poor judge of character. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get the feeling neither is really happy deep down and their just both going through the motions. 
Speaking from experience?"
No just the vibe i'm picking up.
Are you a married couple.? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
Why are you messaging about your partner in the forums? Does she not have the ability to log into the forums? If she exists then she does and will see all this
No she doesn't log in alone, but I show her all conversations"
Does she choose not to log in alone and just let you show her? How can you be sure she won't? I wouldn't be happy with that, nor would G, does sound a little like she's passive in this so maybe there is suspicion there.
Separately I'd be furious if G came on the forum talking about me like that. It's pretty disrespectful to be talking behind her back, talk to her about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Women these days are insecure because they are expected to compete with and compare themselves to men. They are expected to be able and willing to do what men historically have always done.
It was never going to end well  |
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Just another point OP, it's not just women who have issues...
Because of the experiences from one (of many) of his past relationships, it took my OH THREE YEARS to tell me that he loved me. When he did, he broke down crying and apologised for it taking so long.
I understand, because I loved him but because above all else - we'd communicated. I knew it was going to take a long time but most importantly, I knew and understood why.
S x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
Why are you messaging about your partner in the forums? Does she not have the ability to log into the forums? If she exists then she does and will see all this
No she doesn't log in alone, but I show her all conversations
Does she choose not to log in alone and just let you show her? How can you be sure she won't? I wouldn't be happy with that, nor would G, does sound a little like she's passive in this so maybe there is suspicion there.
Separately I'd be furious if G came on the forum talking about me like that. It's pretty disrespectful to be talking behind her back, talk to her about it."
No not passive so please don't project your relationship hangovers onto mine too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What makes women so paranoid and insecure? Is it in their DNA?
don't want to sound like a 'loony leftie' but society and the media telling them from being kids that they have to be a certain way cant help"
Boys face the same pressure - to be anything but what they really are which is male and all that naturally goes with it. |
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"I find it suspicious when someone says "all my ex's are horrible" - you are the common denominator. At the least you are a poor judge of character. "
Again - wow. *shakes head in disbelief*
You're effectively saying that it's my fault (common denominator) that my exes were violent and controlling with me?! 
As for being a poor judge of character, it takes time to get to know someone and when people first meet, they're usually on their best behaviour. Carefully hiding all their faults and issues. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women these days are insecure because they are expected to compete with and compare themselves to men. They are expected to be able and willing to do what men historically have always done.
It was never going to end well "
Maybe some are. Im not at all insecure if anything im the opposite and this site has helped me to be less insecure in fact.
But in general, society has allowed women to become more independant and able to speak out/speak their mind. I think alot of women are stronger and less insecure. Just my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Women these days are insecure because they are expected to compete with and compare themselves to men. They are expected to be able and willing to do what men historically have always done.
It was never going to end well
Maybe some are. Im not at all insecure if anything im the opposite and this site has helped me to be less insecure in fact.
But in general, society has allowed women to become more independant and able to speak out/speak their mind. I think alot of women are stronger and less insecure. Just my opinion."
That's my recent opinion of women too. Women have become more empowered and every women, no matter what shape or form should hold their heads up high and be proud of who they are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women these days are insecure because they are expected to compete with and compare themselves to men. They are expected to be able and willing to do what men historically have always done.
It was never going to end well
Maybe some are. Im not at all insecure if anything im the opposite and this site has helped me to be less insecure in fact.
But in general, society has allowed women to become more independant and able to speak out/speak their mind. I think alot of women are stronger and less insecure. Just my opinion."
I second this the days of women playing the victim are over.
Just look at who holds the 2 top jobs in the country both women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
Why are you messaging about your partner in the forums? Does she not have the ability to log into the forums? If she exists then she does and will see all this
No she doesn't log in alone, but I show her all conversations
Does she choose not to log in alone and just let you show her? How can you be sure she won't? I wouldn't be happy with that, nor would G, does sound a little like she's passive in this so maybe there is suspicion there.
Separately I'd be furious if G came on the forum talking about me like that. It's pretty disrespectful to be talking behind her back, talk to her about it.
No not passive so please don't project your relationship hangovers onto mine too "
I'm not the one worrying about what my OH is up to, we're good thanks. Simply an observation that both what you say here and in your profile make you sound very much in control.
And you asked why women are paranoid, being rude about her when you think she won't see it on here is maybe the sort of thing she fears when you think she's not looking. Looks like she has cause for concern. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
Why are you messaging about your partner in the forums? Does she not have the ability to log into the forums? If she exists then she does and will see all this
No she doesn't log in alone, but I show her all conversations
Does she choose not to log in alone and just let you show her? How can you be sure she won't? I wouldn't be happy with that, nor would G, does sound a little like she's passive in this so maybe there is suspicion there.
Separately I'd be furious if G came on the forum talking about me like that. It's pretty disrespectful to be talking behind her back, talk to her about it.
No not passive so please don't project your relationship hangovers onto mine too
I'm not the one worrying about what my OH is up to, we're good thanks. Simply an observation that both what you say here and in your profile make you sound very much in control.
And you asked why women are paranoid, being rude about her when you think she won't see it on here is maybe the sort of thing she fears when you think she's not looking. Looks like she has cause for concern. "
I'm not worrying either, I think you are missing the point and taking it way too personally. How does she have cause for concern? In what way have I acted to suggest she has any cause for concern? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Normally it's because we know that our other half is up to something despite their best attempts
Men can be really crap at hiding stuff from us. I know loads more men that have cheated than women.
That might be your experience but statistically there's no difference between the rate at which men and women cheat. Which makes initiative sense unless you believe unmarried women have a preference for married men. "
I said I know more men who have cheated, not that women don't cheat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not only women who are paranoid. My husband was extremely paranoid about me cheating, and the woman he had the affair with and his new girlfriend. For him, at least, I think it was his own cheating-and that all his brothers and a lot of his friends cheated -that made him think I was. His paranoia destroyed our marriage. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not only women who are paranoid. My husband was extremely paranoid about me cheating, and the woman he had the affair with and his new girlfriend. For him, at least, I think it was his own cheating-and that all his brothers and a lot of his friends cheated -that made him think I was. His paranoia destroyed our marriage. "
Sounds toxic. |
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"I find it suspicious when someone says "all my ex's are horrible" - you are the common denominator. At the least you are a poor judge of character.
Again - wow. *shakes head in disbelief*
You're effectively saying that it's my fault (common denominator) that my exes were violent and controlling with me?!
As for being a poor judge of character, it takes time to get to know someone and when people first meet, they're usually on their best behaviour. Carefully hiding all their faults and issues. "
No I'm just pointing out that the probability of that happening by chance alone is extremely low. Alcohol plays a role in 53% of domestic abuse (ONS stats) so there's one risk factor for you.
The fact that you jump on the 'victim blaming' bandwagon shows your attitude. No i don't blame the victims, i just accept that there will always be bad people out there and everyone needs to minimise their risk of encountering them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's not only women who are paranoid. My husband was extremely paranoid about me cheating, and the woman he had the affair with and his new girlfriend. For him, at least, I think it was his own cheating-and that all his brothers and a lot of his friends cheated -that made him think I was. His paranoia destroyed our marriage. "
A classic case of judging people by your own standards. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not only women who are paranoid. My husband was extremely paranoid about me cheating, and the woman he had the affair with and his new girlfriend. For him, at least, I think it was his own cheating-and that all his brothers and a lot of his friends cheated -that made him think I was. His paranoia destroyed our marriage. "
yes judging others by his own standards kind of thing-seen that one before |
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"Normally it's because we know that our other half is up to something despite their best attempts
Men can be really crap at hiding stuff from us. I know loads more men that have cheated than women.
That might be your experience but statistically there's no difference between the rate at which men and women cheat. Which makes initiative sense unless you believe unmarried women have a preference for married men.
I said I know more men who have cheated, not that women don't cheat. "
And i didn't dispute that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not worrying either, I think you are missing the point and taking it way too personally. How does she have cause for concern? In what way have I acted to suggest she has any cause for concern? "
Believe me I don't take pixels on a screen from a stranger personally.
I'm not going to waste good sleep time on this other than to say starting a thread belittling her for being paranoid is not going to make her less paranoid. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not worrying either, I think you are missing the point and taking it way too personally. How does she have cause for concern? In what way have I acted to suggest she has any cause for concern?
Believe me I don't take pixels on a screen from a stranger personally.
I'm not going to waste good sleep time on this other than to say starting a thread belittling her for being paranoid is not going to make her less paranoid."
*lets out big sigh*
Night night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It takes time to get over problems/paranoia's from a previous relationship. You could be the perfect partner and you still can't trust them as you think the same thing is going to happen again. Depending what happened she may never. Some things you just can't shake....you hear something often enough and you believe it. As for the porn tho do you really need to watch it that badly....it obviously pisses her off I would rather my partner was happy and not fuel her paranoia just for a few minutes titillation x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It takes time to get over problems/paranoia's from a previous relationship. You could be the perfect partner and you still can't trust them as you think the same thing is going to happen again. Depending what happened she may never. Some things you just can't shake....you hear something often enough and you believe it. As for the porn tho do you really need to watch it that badly....it obviously pisses her off I would rather my partner was happy and not fuel her paranoia just for a few minutes titillation x"
Haha whoever said anything about watching porn |
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"i used to be very paranoid - then i divorced the fella who made me that way
That's the point though. She has no need to be, purely a hangover from past relationship
Why are you messaging about your partner in the forums? Does she not have the ability to log into the forums? If she exists then she does and will see all this "
My thoughts too and it wont help her feel any better
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Psychologically it's known as transference in this case. Bringing an event that happened in the past and behaving as if it's happening in the present. It happens because something in the present reminds you of the experience and triggers the behaviour that belongs in the past, in the present.
To deal with it, the first stage is to recognise and name what's happening, then to see how what's happening in the present is not like the experience in the past. To help her you need to be understanding because the emotions on the presentare real, although the experience is in the past."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It takes time to get over problems/paranoia's from a previous relationship. You could be the perfect partner and you still can't trust them as you think the same thing is going to happen again. Depending what happened she may never. Some things you just can't shake....you hear something often enough and you believe it. As for the porn tho do you really need to watch it that badly....it obviously pisses her off I would rather my partner was happy and not fuel her paranoia just for a few minutes titillation x
Haha whoever said anything about watching porn "
I thought Twitter was a code for porn. Like when I'm on fab in work and i say I'm on Facebook lol x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi. Thanks for all the replies on here, but in the end he is right, I have a problem with paranoia and I realise that. My past has tainted my judgement and I'm sorry to him for that.
However for some of you guys to say he hasn't been supportive is wrong, he is kind, caring and loving. I wouldn't be the person I am without him xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I get the feeling neither is really happy deep down and their just both going through the motions. "
You are so wrong, but hey thanks for being a shit psychiatrist xxx |
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