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bank of dad
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm considering the prospect of making a loan ... I would like the views of a bunch of perverts ... Please respond  "
You want the uninformed views of strangers on a sex site to help you decide if you should lend money to your child?
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"I'm considering the prospect of making a loan ... I would like the views of a bunch of perverts ... Please respond
You want the uninformed views of strangers on a sex site to help you decide if you should lend money to your child?
Yes ... I don't have to follow any advice ... Just wanted to have a debate
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm considering the prospect of making a loan ... I would like the views of a bunch of perverts ... Please respond
You want the uninformed views of strangers on a sex site to help you decide if you should lend money to your child?
Yes ... I don't have to follow any advice ... Just wanted to have a debate
"
Well without any idea how much and how likley your kid is to repay we can't really do much more than be a coin toss.
Im goibg to say no just cause we've had 3 yeses and it needs balance |
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"I'm considering the prospect of making a loan ... I would like the views of a bunch of perverts ... Please respond
You want the uninformed views of strangers on a sex site to help you decide if you should lend money to your child?
Yes ... I don't have to follow any advice ... Just wanted to have a debate
Well without any idea how much and how likley your kid is to repay we can't really do much more than be a coin toss.
Im goibg to say no just cause we've had 3 yeses and it needs balance"
I'll say no as well because I don't think our questions will be answered. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Entirely depends on your circumstances
But I once loaned money to a family member after a heartfelt plea, they actually asked us to be a guarantor at first but we had the money available and didn't charge interest, the next time I saw them they had two new cars. Pissed off would be a understatement as the loan was supposed to be paying debt off to decrease interest payments but they did pay us back |
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Over the years we have lent both of our kids money. We bought one a car and insured and maintained it for a year the other doesn't drive but they've ultimately had roughly equal amounts.
One Christmas we just told both of them we'd written their debts off.
We're of the opinion that if you can afford it give it, if you can't, make a written agreement and ask for an affordable direct debit to be set up before the loan is made.
If we had enough money we would give both of them a house deposit...but we don't. We think that helping your kids out is what parents do and our experience is that doing so hasn't made the less independent or more inclined to keep asking.
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What is it for..Wedding, car, deposit.
Theres money in a seperate account for my son for when he needs it and its up to me to decide when. He doesnt know ive got it.
I bought a whole house full of stuff for my first grandson.
I refuse to lend him money for stupid things.
Next time he will get some is if he gets married |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say yes but attach a couple of conditions, like you have to pay it back in a certain amount of time or there will be penalties...
make them work for it  |
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"I would hate to think I asked my dad for money and he didn't give me it without a second thought. If you have it give it you selfish get x"
Why should he?! I've never asked my parents for anything thankfully I haven't needed to either,but if he's an adult and able to work then he should support himself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have helped my daughter out a few times since she flew the coup after all she's mine no matter what.
But I have sat down and discussed all of the options and if she really need help or can really get by one her own or not.
I never expect it back and usually end up writing it off! But then again it's alway her last resort and not taking the piss.
It's all about striking a ballance really, everyone needs a leg up sometimes  |
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I think it depends on the kids attitude too. Both of ours have worked really hard since they were old enough, sometimes having two jobs when they needed to. I come from an extended family where help of any sort not just financial, is given freely when it's needed. This has had in the main the effect of producing secure and confident people who know that if they make a mistake or need a hand up there will be someone to support them. There are one or two who have taken the piss but financial support is pretty quickly withdrawn as an option when that happens.
It's great to see your children standing on their own two feet but it's also good that they have a family to fall back on.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my dad was crap with money, he handed it all over to my mum when he got paid and she paid all the bills and got the shopping etc...
my son is 12 and has his own bank account, with a contactless debit card, he does his allocated chores and he gets a set amount of money put into his account once a week..
if he sees something he wants to buy then he saves up for it and then gets it himself with this card  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely not - tell him to get a job and earn it himself.
I had to and it's done me no harm.
"
awwww harsh the guy looks like he can afford it but my dad always said if you can't afford to lose it dont lend it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
One Christmas we just told both of them we'd written their debts
Did they get any prezzies that year?
Yep!
I hope they'll be the same if they have children. "
Yep I'm with you on this....if you have it to give I would always give it...why watch them struggle if you can help.
They only get it in the end when we pop off, so might as well get some enjoyment out of the giving |
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"
One Christmas we just told both of them we'd written their debts
Did they get any prezzies that year?
Yep!
I hope they'll be the same if they have children.
Yep I'm with you on this....if you have it to give I would always give it...why watch them struggle if you can help.
They only get it in the end when we pop off, so might as well get some enjoyment out of the giving "
Yep. Not just money though, time is one of the greatest gifts you can give anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
One Christmas we just told both of them we'd written their debts
Did they get any prezzies that year?
Yep!
I hope they'll be the same if they have children.
Yep I'm with you on this....if you have it to give I would always give it...why watch them struggle if you can help.
They only get it in the end when we pop off, so might as well get some enjoyment out of the giving
Yep. Not just money though, time is one of the greatest gifts you can give anyone."
Oh I give plenty of that to mine |
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"Definitely not - tell him to get a job and earn it himself.
I had to and it's done me no harm.
awwww harsh the guy looks like he can afford it but my dad always said if you can't afford to lose it dont lend it "
Not harsh. He won't always be there to dish out money as and when.
I have always stood on my own two feet and it's made me what I am plus I appreciate what I work for.
Daddy won't always be around so what happens then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm considering the prospect of making a loan ... I would like the views of a bunch of perverts ... Please respond
You want the uninformed views of strangers on a sex site to help you decide if you should lend money to your child?
"
That's exactly what I was thinking - lol |
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"
One Christmas we just told both of them we'd written their debts
Did they get any prezzies that year?
Yep!
I hope they'll be the same if they have children.
Yep I'm with you on this....if you have it to give I would always give it...why watch them struggle if you can help.
They only get it in the end when we pop off, so might as well get some enjoyment out of the giving
Yep. Not just money though, time is one of the greatest gifts you can give anyone.
Oh I give plenty of that to mine "
I'm sure you do . Apologies, I didn't want to imply that you didn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
One Christmas we just told both of them we'd written their debts
Did they get any prezzies that year?
Yep!
I hope they'll be the same if they have children.
Yep I'm with you on this....if you have it to give I would always give it...why watch them struggle if you can help.
They only get it in the end when we pop off, so might as well get some enjoyment out of the giving
Yep. Not just money though, time is one of the greatest gifts you can give anyone.
Oh I give plenty of that to mine
I'm sure you do . Apologies, I didn't want to imply that you didn't."
It wasn't taken that way....cheers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely not - tell him to get a job and earn it himself.
I had to and it's done me no harm.
awwww harsh the guy looks like he can afford it but my dad always said if you can't afford to lose it dont lend it
Not harsh. He won't always be there to dish out money as and when.
I have always stood on my own two feet and it's made me what I am plus I appreciate what I work for.
Daddy won't always be around so what happens then?"
but of course you've stood on your own two feet if you stood on one you'd be hopping and if you stood on mine you'd know all about it ha  |
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"Definitely not - tell him to get a job and earn it himself.
I had to and it's done me no harm.
awwww harsh the guy looks like he can afford it but my dad always said if you can't afford to lose it dont lend it
Not harsh. He won't always be there to dish out money as and when.
I have always stood on my own two feet and it's made me what I am plus I appreciate what I work for.
Daddy won't always be around so what happens then?but of course you've stood on your own two feet if you stood on one you'd be hopping and if you stood on mine you'd know all about it ha "
You would more my dear lol.... |
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"Thanks for all the responses ..the serious and the not so serious ... Plenty of food for thought .. as someone said I'm only here a short while and my time and money couldn't go to a better use "
I agree. Also your kids follow your lead and there's no harm in having a giving nature |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"It depends on a lot of things...mainly have you lent before and got it back?"
No answer came the reply so I will answer without.
If our children needed something we would lend / give as they are hardworking and sometimes people need a helping hand.
However, I also think it would depend on what it was for, if it was say for a £5000 holiday then I would say no as I don't believe in getting into debt for a holiday, but if it was £5000 for a car to get them to and from work as the other has gone kapputt then I would say yes.
Even though ours are all grown up now, we still treat them now and then anyway as we can't take it with us and they would end up with it anyway.
So yes, if you have it spare and they are not taking the piss then I would |
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Shouldn't 'kids' be encouraged to stand on their own two feet though?
Yes we all have struggles in life I understand that but parents are not going to be around forever hence what would the 'kids' do then? Remember we are talking about adults here.
We still don't know why Daddy has been asked for a loan, perhaps if we know it would change the tone of advice. Over to you OP  |
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"Shouldn't 'kids' be encouraged to stand on their own two feet though?
Yes we all have struggles in life I understand that but parents are not going to be around forever hence what would the 'kids' do then? Remember we are talking about adults here.
We still don't know why Daddy has been asked for a loan, perhaps if we know it would change the tone of advice. Over to you OP "
glad im not your kids. I would give my son money for big things but wouldnt for everyday things. Yes they should stand on their feet but its a bit sad if you dont ever help them out |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Shouldn't 'kids' be encouraged to stand on their own two feet though?
)"
Yes. Helping them out if they need it doesn't mean they are not encouraged to stand on their own two feet, it just means at times they may need help.
If they were kids that don't stand on their own two feet and asked us for loans every week then that would be a different matter altogether.
PS ours don't borrow of us but if they did then we would help depending on the reasons as my other post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shouldn't 'kids' be encouraged to stand on their own two feet though?
Yes we all have struggles in life I understand that but parents are not going to be around forever hence what would the 'kids' do then? Remember we are talking about adults here.
We still don't know why Daddy has been asked for a loan, perhaps if we know it would change the tone of advice. Over to you OP "
Well look at this wag standing on thier own two feet your kid could say buy a little 2 bed semi and get on the ladder spend no e.g. jotting it out then in a few years Maybe move ip5 to something else etc.
Or with a little extra help from the patents they could get a nice detached family home so they aren't teying to do up a house at the same time the family is growing.
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"Shouldn't 'kids' be encouraged to stand on their own two feet though?
Yes we all have struggles in life I understand that but parents are not going to be around forever hence what would the 'kids' do then? Remember we are talking about adults here.
We still don't know why Daddy has been asked for a loan, perhaps if we know it would change the tone of advice. Over to you OP "
Kids should be encouraged to stand on their own two feet, ours do. However a parents job is never finished, my father is 90 I've stood on my own two feet snce I was 18 but I know he would give me his last penny if he thought I needed it, same goes for my mum and over the years they've both given me money freely with no strings. It doesn't mean I'd ask them though. Its just nice to have the security of that knowledge and to pass it on to your own kids.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm considering the prospect of making a loan ... I would like the views of a bunch of perverts ... Please respond "
My cosultation fee is 20% of the principle and 85% of the repayments
If you got it and they will repay enough of it why not go for it... |
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"Shouldn't 'kids' be encouraged to stand on their own two feet though?
Yes we all have struggles in life I understand that but parents are not going to be around forever hence what would the 'kids' do then? Remember we are talking about adults here.
We still don't know why Daddy has been asked for a loan, perhaps if we know it would change the tone of advice. Over to you OP
Well look at this wag standing on thier own two feet your kid could say buy a little 2 bed semi and get on the ladder spend no e.g. jotting it out then in a few years Maybe move ip5 to something else etc.
Or with a little extra help from the patents they could get a nice detached family home so they aren't teying to do up a house at the same time the family is growing.
"
Excuse me what do you mean by 'look at this wag'....? What is wag? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surely that's part of being a parent. I bought a couple of apartments off plan a few years back with sole intention to make sure mine have a helping hand. Should either decide to go to uni then I'll be selling them and buying a place wherever they are so they don't have to bother with student digs and the costs, hopefully this will help them concentrate on their studies |
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"Shouldn't 'kids' be encouraged to stand on their own two feet though?
Yes we all have struggles in life I understand that but parents are not going to be around forever hence what would the 'kids' do then? Remember we are talking about adults here.
We still don't know why Daddy has been asked for a loan, perhaps if we know it would change the tone of advice. Over to you OP glad im not your kids. I would give my son money for big things but wouldnt for everyday things. Yes they should stand on their feet but its a bit sad if you dont ever help them out"
We all have our own views and that's what forums are about. I'm also glad you're not my kids... My opinion is that I wouldn't loan my kids money. I didn't rely on my parents for that and it's not harmed me. I have my own home and a good job. If people are happy to loan kids money then it's up to them. I'm only stating my opinion which the OP asked for advice. It's not right that you turn on me with that comment, as this is, after all, a forum! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shouldn't 'kids' be encouraged to stand on their own two feet though?
Yes we all have struggles in life I understand that but parents are not going to be around forever hence what would the 'kids' do then? Remember we are talking about adults here.
We still don't know why Daddy has been asked for a loan, perhaps if we know it would change the tone of advice. Over to you OP
Well look at this wag standing on thier own two feet your kid could say buy a little 2 bed semi and get on the ladder spend no e.g. jotting it out then in a few years Maybe move ip5 to something else etc.
Or with a little extra help from the patents they could get a nice detached family home so they aren't teying to do up a house at the same time the family is growing.
Excuse me what do you mean by 'look at this wag'....? What is wag? "
It's a typo of way
Look at it this way... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I help my daughter out from time to time. When her husband left her for another woman he left her with nothing. I gave her some cash , bought her a half decent second hand car and paid her bills for a short while... But being dad the best thing I gave her was emotional support. A shoulder to cry on and someone she could let all her emotions out on. She's sorted now , works for me and has started to date a nice guy who she has known since childhood. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd say no. Make them stand on their own two feet!
You won't be around to bail them out forever. You'll be doing them a favour in the long run. "
Harsh but fair  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I help my daughter out from time to time. When her husband left her for another woman he left her with nothing. I gave her some cash , bought her a half decent second hand car and paid her bills for a short while... But being dad the best thing I gave her was emotional support. A shoulder to cry on and someone she could let all her emotions out on. She's sorted now , works for me and has started to date a nice guy who she has known since childhood."
I'm with this |
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