FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > So he doesn't wanna sleep with me..

So he doesn't wanna sleep with me..

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

In a nutshell met an incredible guy on a night out, were in seperable.. he went back home to Switzerland.. we have chatted every day for around 4 hours every night and text inbetween. He is back in the UK to see me Saturday and Sunday..

He's suggested we dont spend the nights together..

I was feeling anxious about it as its been years since i've had anything sexual with anyone,, and i kinda like the 'no pressure' thing. Equally i know id wanna rip his clothes off though..

Id have liked to be able to have cuddles and wake up beside him.

Naturally its impossible to actually know why he's suggested that... but whats your take on that?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

hope you get yer cuddles

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That he respects you and doesn't want you to feel you have too?

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

See how the first night goes he might want to the second night.

He sounds sweet though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm thinking he's being a total gentleman and waiting for signals you give him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He is in a relationship maybe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have you asked him why?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"See how the first night goes he might want to the second night.

He sounds sweet though."

Yeah he truly is lovely.

Guess thinking about it a bit more, its good to just re confirm everything we felt about each other that original night we met, and that everything we've learnt about each other over the past 4 weeks is true and real..

If we both wanted it then your right we do have Sunday night

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I meet a lady on here over a year ago.we have been shopping been out for meals and even enjoyed a few films and plays etc. Been to her house for a few meals. We mail every day. But I don't think we will ever have sex. We just need the company of someone who is just happy to spend time without worrying about having sex.

Does this makes sense ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm thinking he's being a total gentleman and waiting for signals you give him. "

He is a gent..

We've spoken about sex in great detail and we appear to be on the same wavelengths.

It might just be we need to confirm those feelings in person before making set in stone plans

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Talk to him.

Spending a whole night with someone is a big undertaking and maybe he doesn't want to rush it or has bed sharing issues (I really have to KNOW someone before I expose them to my snoring).

Talk and find out if it's ever going to be on the table, perhaps by starting with the "I'd like to snuggle up to you" angle?

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I suppose it depends on how he said it? You do know the saying:

'Men don't think enough and women think to much'

Maybe don't try to interject what you 'think' he means, only you know how the conversation led to him saying it

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I meet a lady on here over a year ago.we have been shopping been out for meals and even enjoyed a few films and plays etc. Been to her house for a few meals. We mail every day. But I don't think we will ever have sex. We just need the company of someone who is just happy to spend time without worrying about having sex.

Does this makes sense ?"

As long as you are both happy x x

Sounds like your both having a great time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ah I know what that is, you've got what we call in the trade a nice decent fella who values you as a person rather than just your bits, there's only 23 of them left in the wild, the rest are breeding in captivity

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm thinking he's being a total gentleman and waiting for signals you give him. "

I'd say this

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Have you asked him why?"

This sounds like a sensible suggestion.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In a nutshell met an incredible guy on a night out, were in seperable.. he went back home to Switzerland.. we have chatted every day for around 4 hours every night and text inbetween. He is back in the UK to see me Saturday and Sunday..

He's suggested we dont spend the nights together..

I was feeling anxious about it as its been years since i've had anything sexual with anyone,, and i kinda like the 'no pressure' thing. Equally i know id wanna rip his clothes off though..

Id have liked to be able to have cuddles and wake up beside him.

Naturally its impossible to actually know why he's suggested that... but whats your take on that?

"
maybe hes nursing an injury ( football) or on medication

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Talk to him.

Spending a whole night with someone is a big undertaking and maybe he doesn't want to rush it or has bed sharing issues (I really have to KNOW someone before I expose them to my snoring).

Talk and find out if it's ever going to be on the table, perhaps by starting with the "I'd like to snuggle up to you" angle?"

This is the thing it was all very much his idea.. then today he suggested we just have both night outs together but return home after..

I was the one feeling anxious about it, but dont think he was aware i was nervous about it.

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By *alcon43Woman over a year ago

Paisley

I like sleepovers but I am up during the night a couple of times to the toilet.

He may have something that he's not shared with you yet.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

That he is waiting for the special moment when it all just clicks into place and the fireworks erupt and you make the most amazing love ever...cute don't over think things..

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

So he didn't give you an explanation as to why not? Not sure how I'd feel about that myself to be honest

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By *r_BBW_LoverMan over a year ago

Swindon

'Men don't think enough and women think to much'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You met him away from here.

Which means things are different

He sounds respectful.

Don't overthink it .

Enjoy it,let it blossom.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman over a year ago

stourbridge area

Hes in a relationship ....wait for the its not you .... its me ...

You need to ask him outright .... dont let him waste your time .

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman over a year ago

your imagination

He's travelling from another country to spend time with you... You've nothing to worry about

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To me its saying he really like and respects you and taking his time to get to know you ..... I think its lovely and I am really liking the sound of this man .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That could just be his way of showing that he's not expecting anything to be fair.

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By *r_BBW_LoverMan over a year ago

Swindon

"I like sleepovers but I am up during the night a couple of times to the toilet.

He may have something that he's not shared with you yet. "

Oh, maybe it's like this...

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/nov/12/gayle-newland-sentenced-eight-years-prison-duping-friend-having-sex.

j/k I'm sure he's just being a nice guy really

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So he didn't give you an explanation as to why not? Not sure how I'd feel about that myself to be honest"

He did say that it was just to remove pressure so that we could just enjoy each others company without having to focus on sex and 'performance'..

Guess i'm thinking its maybe because he's having second thoughts on me..

I absolutely over think everyyyyy god damm thing

He's incredible and i dont wanna fuck up

Hense my ramblings to you lot and not him

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

The only person who can tell you is him.

It could be one of many reasons ranging from he doesn't want a physically sexual relationship with you to he doesn't have sex with people until he knows them well.

Ask him.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Just stop thinking and enjoy life and go with the flow I'm going to kick your arse in a minute

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He sounds as though he's being a perfect gent and wants your first time to be perfect and special. X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He's suggested we dont spend the nights together..

I was feeling anxious about it as its been years since i've had anything sexual with anyone,, and i kinda like the 'no pressure' thing. Equally i know id wanna rip his clothes off though..

Id have liked to be able to have cuddles and wake up beside him.

Naturally its impossible to actually know why he's suggested that... but whats your take on that?

He's taking his time, it's a good thing x

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

my take on it is he's isn't coming over for sex. do you want him to be?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hes in a relationship ....wait for the its not you .... its me ...

You need to ask him outright .... dont let him waste your time .

He's not.. when we did meet his said he was in a relationship.. but that wasnt the truth.

She ended with him.. when he returns to live in the UK (6 months ish) they were gonna try again... but he never expected to meet me...

Its just been an absolute blast every day that ive known him.

Guess ultimately we need to confirm how we feel about each other before anything is 'official'

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By *edLionScotMan over a year ago

Edinburgh

I've been reading all the lovely, sweet comments, and don't want to spoil the moment, but I can't stop myself...

"He may have something that he's not shared with you yet. "

Yeah! Like an STI!

I'll get my coat!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Just stop thinking and enjoy life and go with the flow I'm going to kick your arse in a minute

Haha

You'll see more gush status's on book face and no doubt soppy ass pics of us over the weekend..

get your vomit emoji at the ready lover

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Cute I'm going to remind you of the "text"

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Just stop thinking and enjoy life and go with the flow I'm going to kick your arse in a minute

Haha

You'll see more gush status's on book face and no doubt soppy ass pics of us over the weekend..

get your vomit emoji at the ready lover

You deserve it more than anyone to be happy and to be loved

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Cute I'm going to remind you of the "text"

ahhh yes... that text

to be fair its like that everyyyy day with him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

cute its lovely too see you so happy. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"cute its lovely too see you so happy. x"

awww thanks Jo..

i truly am walking on Sunshine and i've been counting down the days til i'm in his arms again x x

Guess i just need to pinch myself that this is real and this insecurity is just because im used to being hurt and potentially im trying to read the signs early..

oh i dunno ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

he wants you in bed and by saying wait he hopes a good kiss will lead to bed.. also to be sure have a feel and make sure hes got a big ben them swiss are cunning buggars

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He might fart in his sleep and he doesn't want you to die a horrible choking death.

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

He is being the proper gent, and sounds like he does not want to spoil things by rushing in to bed.

That's the way I played it and we have been together 6yrs now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"cute its lovely too see you so happy. x

awww thanks Jo..

i truly am walking on Sunshine and i've been counting down the days til i'm in his arms again x x

Guess i just need to pinch myself that this is real and this insecurity is just because im used to being hurt and potentially im trying to read the signs early..

oh i dunno ...

"
on a serious not a wish you well and glad things are turning well in your life xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd just ask him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Erectile disfuntion / gay

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hes in a relationship ....wait for the its not you .... its me ...

You need to ask him outright .... dont let him waste your time .

He's not.. when we did meet his said he was in a relationship.. but that wasnt the truth.

She ended with him.. when he returns to live in the UK (6 months ish) they were gonna try again... but he never expected to meet me...

Its just been an absolute blast every day that ive known him.

Guess ultimately we need to confirm how we feel about each other before anything is 'official' "

Maybe he is really nervous too and is worried about it? We aren't all dashing swordsmen.

He might be overthinking things and wondering if he will be good enough, will it spoil things if you have this great rapport but he is disappointing when it gets to the bedroom.

You could both be eager to go at it but holding back through uncertainty.

Or he might just want to take time to get to know you, to build that connection mentally with you before making that step. Possibly wants to get to know Cute before he encounters your Sassy

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By *r_BBW_LoverMan over a year ago

Swindon

"he wants you in bed and by saying wait he hopes a good kiss will lead to bed.. also to be sure have a feel and make sure hes got a big ben them swiss are cunning buggars

Is that a Toblerone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Hes in a relationship ....wait for the its not you .... its me ...

You need to ask him outright .... dont let him waste your time .

He's not.. when we did meet his said he was in a relationship.. but that wasnt the truth.

She ended with him.. when he returns to live in the UK (6 months ish) they were gonna try again... but he never expected to meet me...

Its just been an absolute blast every day that ive known him.

Guess ultimately we need to confirm how we feel about each other before anything is 'official' "

Be very careful. He started with a lie. I don't want to take the wind out of your sails but you should take a step back and try a view this without rose tinted glasses on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hes in a relationship ....wait for the its not you .... its me ...

You need to ask him outright .... dont let him waste your time .

He's not.. when we did meet his said he was in a relationship.. but that wasnt the truth.

She ended with him.. when he returns to live in the UK (6 months ish) they were gonna try again... but he never expected to meet me...

Its just been an absolute blast every day that ive known him.

Guess ultimately we need to confirm how we feel about each other before anything is 'official' "
be careful he dont have you here and her over ther like a double life i would ask to visit for a few days to show you his home town if he refuses then he lying

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"He might fart in his sleep and he doesn't want you to die a horrible choking death. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hes in a relationship ....wait for the its not you .... its me ...

You need to ask him outright .... dont let him waste your time .

He's not.. when we did meet his said he was in a relationship.. but that wasnt the truth.

She ended with him.. when he returns to live in the UK (6 months ish) they were gonna try again... but he never expected to meet me...

Its just been an absolute blast every day that ive known him.

Guess ultimately we need to confirm how we feel about each other before anything is 'official'

Be very careful. He started with a lie. I don't want to take the wind out of your sails but you should take a step back and try a view this without rose tinted glasses on."

This

If he's lied once, then he's capable of lying again.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He sounds lovely. I think he's being a gentleman and is saying there is no pressure so that you both can just enjoy each other's company. You are definitely overthinking it but I would be exactly the same!

I want an update after the weekend.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So he lied when he met you....you've spoke about sex but haven't had sex (I'm not sure) and he has stated that he doesn't want you to stay over. Think it's time to be a bit more realistic x

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By *ingle Beds LassWoman over a year ago

Bedfordshire

You're giving it way too much thought. Enjoy your time together and go with the flow. And definitely keep smiling xx

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By *aul1973HullMan over a year ago

East Hull

"Hes in a relationship ....wait for the its not you .... its me ...

You need to ask him outright .... dont let him waste your time .

He's not.. when we did meet his said he was in a relationship.. but that wasnt the truth.

She ended with him.. when he returns to live in the UK (6 months ish) they were gonna try again... but he never expected to meet me...

Its just been an absolute blast every day that ive known him.

Guess ultimately we need to confirm how we feel about each other before anything is 'official' be careful he dont have you here and her over ther like a double life i would ask to visit for a few days to show you his home town if he refuses then he lying"

Good suggestion! He may not even live abroad! He may have a loving wife an kids at home in the next town? Try to confirm his address somehow... If you don't want to ask him straight out for proof suggest him send you a postcard from where he lives or a love letter??

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

lol he certainly is not cheating.. he doesnt have a wife/gf and he most certainly lives in Switzerland..

i am 100% confident he is genuine as he was my best friends best man at their wedding,,

so i know LOTS of people who know him.. we are friends on facebook etc and like i say we chat for 4/5 hours solidly on the phone daily and message inbetween x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"lol he certainly is not cheating.. he doesnt have a wife/gf and he most certainly lives in Switzerland..

i am 100% confident he is genuine as he was my best friends best man at their wedding,,

so i know LOTS of people who know him.. we are friends on facebook etc and like i say we chat for 4/5 hours solidly on the phone daily and message inbetween x

"
you left all that part out so most of the above will now be irrelevant

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Cute I totally get why you are questioning his motives but I think that you are over thinking things.

People here have given some great advice and cautionary tales here but only you know the full story behind your times together so far.

I don't necessarily think he lied to you about being in a relationship as he thought he had plans to vet back with his ex.

Take it as it come but talk to each other. You are a sensible woman but I also know you sometimes shut yourself off very early on for fear of getting g hurt x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So he didn't give you an explanation as to why not? Not sure how I'd feel about that myself to be honest

He did say that it was just to remove pressure so that we could just enjoy each others company without having to focus on sex and 'performance'..

Guess i'm thinking its maybe because he's having second thoughts on me..

I absolutely over think everyyyyy god damm thing

He's incredible and i dont wanna fuck up

Hense my ramblings to you lot and not him

You could just believe him when he says it's to remove pressure. I like seeing the night takes me with a date. I never plan to go home with someone afterwards, sometimes I plan not to that and the plan changes. It's nicer when it happens naturally rather than the pressure of it definitely happening.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Cute I totally get why you are questioning his motives but I think that you are over thinking things.

People here have given some great advice and cautionary tales here but only you know the full story behind your times together so far.

I don't necessarily think he lied to you about being in a relationship as he thought he had plans to vet back with his ex.

Take it as it come but talk to each other. You are a sensible woman but I also know you sometimes shut yourself off very early on for fear of getting g hurt x "

Yeah i totally understand why he said he was in a relationship as at that time he wanted to make a go of things again with her when he returned.

Over the few weeks he's said that he cant imagine a life without me now..

he is a proper slushy sod and truly amazeballs.

Your right i do put barriers up as i'm afraid of being hurt. Guess i will just have to wait til Saturday..

only 4 days to go

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

Girl just go with the flow.

You know if it feels right or not. He is probably nervous too, it sounds like you are really into each other x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wait wait wait, right so have I got this right, you met a guy on a night out so both of you have given each other the once over in the flesh. You've spoken every night for up to 4 hours at a time and text throughout the day. Conversation has been of a sexual nature too, he's coming to see you for the weekend but has said he's not going to spend the night with you?

I don't get it? Surely you'd both be wanting to have sex.

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By *aul1973HullMan over a year ago

East Hull

"lol he certainly is not cheating.. he doesnt have a wife/gf and he most certainly lives in Switzerland..

i am 100% confident he is genuine as he was my best friends best man at their wedding,,

so i know LOTS of people who know him.. we are friends on facebook etc and like i say we chat for 4/5 hours solidly on the phone daily and message inbetween x

Thats all good then! Try no to worry about it too much then and make the most of the enjoyment you get from each other and keep it fun

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"Wait wait wait, right so have I got this right, you met a guy on a night out so both of you have given each other the once over in the flesh. You've spoken every night for up to 4 hours at a time and text throughout the day. Conversation has been of a sexual nature too, he's coming to see you for the weekend but has said he's not going to spend the night with you?

I don't get it? Surely you'd both be wanting to have sex. "

Oh hello

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"Cute I totally get why you are questioning his motives but I think that you are over thinking things.

People here have given some great advice and cautionary tales here but only you know the full story behind your times together so far.

I don't necessarily think he lied to you about being in a relationship as he thought he had plans to vet back with his ex.

Take it as it come but talk to each other. You are a sensible woman but I also know you sometimes shut yourself off very early on for fear of getting g hurt x

Yeah i totally understand why he said he was in a relationship as at that time he wanted to make a go of things again with her when he returned.

Over the few weeks he's said that he cant imagine a life without me now..

he is a proper slushy sod and truly amazeballs.

Your right i do put barriers up as i'm afraid of being hurt. Guess i will just have to wait til Saturday..

only 4 days to go

And again, knowing you as I do, I completely get why you put those barriers up but you have to accept that he is not your past experiences.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't get it? Surely you'd both be wanting to have sex.

Oh hello

Hello, do I know you?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Go out and enjoy the moment. There's now no pressure on either of you to think it's got to lead to sex. Just have fun in each other's company and if anything does lead to more, you have the next day! happy days!

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I don't get it? Surely you'd both be wanting to have sex. "

Welcome back.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I don't get it? Surely you'd both be wanting to have sex.

Welcome back.

Never knew she went...I blinked

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

I don't get it? Surely you'd both be wanting to have sex.

Oh hello

Hello, do I know you?

Your nipple looks familiar

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Go out and enjoy the moment. There's now no pressure on either of you to think it's got to lead to sex. Just have fun in each other's company and if anything does lead to more, you have the next day! happy days!

Yeah im absolutely going too..

i over think stuff and most times get it wrong. i know he is decent and has my interests at heart.

We are adults, if wee'd up ridiculously frustrated can always get a room

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By *wisted999Man over a year ago

North Bucks

So many ifs and buts. Truth is no one knows apart from him.

Ask him.

Hope it works out he way you both want it to.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So he didn't give you an explanation as to why not? Not sure how I'd feel about that myself to be honest

He did say that it was just to remove pressure so that we could just enjoy each others company without having to focus on sex and 'performance'..

Guess i'm thinking its maybe because he's having second thoughts on me..

I absolutely over think everyyyyy god damm thing

He's incredible and i dont wanna fuck up

Hense my ramblings to you lot and not him

Performance

Maybe he wants you to fall kn love with him before you find out he has a micro penis or that he cant function sexually but by that time you will be too far in emotionally to bail

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Performance

Maybe he wants you to fall kn love with him before you find out he has a micro penis or that he cant function sexually but by that time you will be too far in emotionally to bail

Oh i may have had a sneeky feel/rub through his jeans on several occassions we kissed on that first night we met..

so ive no issues there

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hes in a relationship ....wait for the its not you .... its me ...

You need to ask him outright .... dont let him waste your time .

He's not.. when we did meet his said he was in a relationship.. but that wasnt the truth.

She ended with him.. when he returns to live in the UK (6 months ish) they were gonna try again... but he never expected to meet me...

Its just been an absolute blast every day that ive known him.

Guess ultimately we need to confirm how we feel about each other before anything is 'official'

Be very careful. He started with a lie. I don't want to take the wind out of your sails but you should take a step back and try a view this without rose tinted glasses on."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Right ive figured it out he doesn't want to sleep with you so its good news surely he wants to stay awake and rattle your brains

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry, must be gay. No normal guy wants to talk 4 hours each night.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sorry, must be gay. No normal guy wants to talk 4 hours each night.....

he's straight.. but cheers for the input

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By *edLionScotMan over a year ago

Edinburgh

Maybe he has a strong faith, and that's important to him.

Good luck OP.

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

"Sorry, must be gay. No normal guy wants to talk 4 hours each night.....

yes they do,

we did

we would spend 4-5 hrs on messenger while we were apart (175miles)

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

Either he's a gentleman or he's got other plans for the nights.

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By *edLionScotMan over a year ago

Edinburgh

Or he's a Vampire.

Or worse, he thinks he is!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Sorry, must be gay. No normal guy wants to talk 4 hours each night.....

I used to when I was going out with my now ex husband who was stationed in Germany

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"Sorry, must be gay. No normal guy wants to talk 4 hours each night.....

Define normal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How interesting it is that people talk about "respecting" a woman and "not pressuring her into sex" as if sex were something dirty and nasty that women have to be duped into by men.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Sorry, must be gay. No normal guy wants to talk 4 hours each night.....

Being gay "is" normal.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There's something he wants to tell you but don't know how to.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"How interesting it is that people talk about "respecting" a woman and "not pressuring her into sex" as if sex were something dirty and nasty that women have to be duped into by men.

Yes I found that interesting and wonder if the fact that lots of us will consider having sex almost straight away makes us not worthy of respect.

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"How interesting it is that people talk about "respecting" a woman and "not pressuring her into sex" as if sex were something dirty and nasty that women have to be duped into by men.

Yes I found that interesting and wonder if the fact that lots of us will consider having sex almost straight away makes us not worthy of respect. "

do you not both think it more reflects just how many men do pressure women into having sex or don't respect them so it's actually commentable when that doesn't happen?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How interesting it is that people talk about "respecting" a woman and "not pressuring her into sex" as if sex were something dirty and nasty that women have to be duped into by men.

Yes I found that interesting and wonder if the fact that lots of us will consider having sex almost straight away makes us not worthy of respect.

do you not both think it more reflects just how many men do pressure women into having sex or don't respect them so it's actually commentable when that doesn't happen?"

No, it's reflective of the belief that nice girls don't "put out" on the first date.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's nice that you're not pressuring him too. Although cuddles are nice, he may want to keep your relationship platonic and not complicate it.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"How interesting it is that people talk about "respecting" a woman and "not pressuring her into sex" as if sex were something dirty and nasty that women have to be duped into by men.

Yes I found that interesting and wonder if the fact that lots of us will consider having sex almost straight away makes us not worthy of respect. "

It is a narrative I still encounter now. I'm 52 but apparently not worthy of respect because I will have casual sex. I am still told that means no man will want a relationship until I hold out and deny my desire for sex.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"How interesting it is that people talk about "respecting" a woman and "not pressuring her into sex" as if sex were something dirty and nasty that women have to be duped into by men.

Yes I found that interesting and wonder if the fact that lots of us will consider having sex almost straight away makes us not worthy of respect.

do you not both think it more reflects just how many men do pressure women into having sex or don't respect them so it's actually commentable when that doesn't happen?"

Yes it probably does reflect that too but I also think it's indicates that lots of people still feel that women who have casual sex are less worthy of respect.

But we digress

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"Sorry, must be gay. No normal guy wants to talk 4 hours each night.....

Being gay "is" normal."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How interesting it is that people talk about "respecting" a woman and "not pressuring her into sex" as if sex were something dirty and nasty that women have to be duped into by men.

Yes I found that interesting and wonder if the fact that lots of us will consider having sex almost straight away makes us not worthy of respect.

do you not both think it more reflects just how many men do pressure women into having sex or don't respect them so it's actually commentable when that doesn't happen?

Yes it probably does reflect that too but I also think it's indicates that lots of people still feel that women who have casual sex are less worthy of respect.

But we digress

Indeed we do, I'm of the belief that if you want to know why someone is doing something, you should ask them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

tell the truth he just nodded alot but couldnt understand a word you said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe he just wants to be friends.

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"How interesting it is that people talk about "respecting" a woman and "not pressuring her into sex" as if sex were something dirty and nasty that women have to be duped into by men.

Yes I found that interesting and wonder if the fact that lots of us will consider having sex almost straight away makes us not worthy of respect.

do you not both think it more reflects just how many men do pressure women into having sex or don't respect them so it's actually commentable when that doesn't happen?

No, it's reflective of the belief that nice girls don't "put out" on the first date."

fair enough. that is a common belief also.

as it more focuses on the guy being 'nice' though i don't see how it relates to women exactly as not being nice. i get the respected part easy enough, a lot of men don't respect women who are 'easy' and it can come across as women who pander to those type of men don't respect themselves.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He's using reverse psychology and really wants to fuck your brains out but the more he says he doesn't want to take things slowly, the more you'll want to have sex with him

I bet you do have sex this weekend and I hope it's freakin' awesome

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"He's using reverse psychology and really wants to fuck your brains out but the more he says he doesn't want to and wants to take things slowly, the more you'll want to have sex with him

I bet you do have sex this weekend and I hope it's freakin' awesome

Didn't read right before

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"How interesting it is that people talk about "respecting" a woman and "not pressuring her into sex" as if sex were something dirty and nasty that women have to be duped into by men.

Yes I found that interesting and wonder if the fact that lots of us will consider having sex almost straight away makes us not worthy of respect.

do you not both think it more reflects just how many men do pressure women into having sex or don't respect them so it's actually commentable when that doesn't happen?

Yes it probably does reflect that too but I also think it's indicates that lots of people still feel that women who have casual sex are less worthy of respect.

But we digress

ok, i will shh now.

i think i'm turning into the kind of person that doesn't really appreciate NSA sex anyway. although it worked for me before now.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

OP, just another thought...

If and when you do have sex, don't load it with so much expectation that it becomes disappointing. Get to know how your bodies work together and improve with practice.

I've seen too many people scupper something good because the first time they had sex it didn't lead to fireworks.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"How interesting it is that people talk about "respecting" a woman and "not pressuring her into sex" as if sex were something dirty and nasty that women have to be duped into by men.

Yes I found that interesting and wonder if the fact that lots of us will consider having sex almost straight away makes us not worthy of respect.

do you not both think it more reflects just how many men do pressure women into having sex or don't respect them so it's actually commentable when that doesn't happen?

Yes it probably does reflect that too but I also think it's indicates that lots of people still feel that women who have casual sex are less worthy of respect.

But we digress

ok, i will shh now.

i think i'm turning into the kind of person that doesn't really appreciate NSA sex anyway. although it worked for me before now."

Interesting discussion though. Double standards, how women feel about themselves and sex etc

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By *ohnaronMan over a year ago

london

Even though he is gay he may know a guy who is prepared to give you one, so my advice is like everyone else, hang in there, one way ir another you may get a seeing to.

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By *orum TrollWoman over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"How interesting it is that people talk about "respecting" a woman and "not pressuring her into sex" as if sex were something dirty and nasty that women have to be duped into by men.

Yes I found that interesting and wonder if the fact that lots of us will consider having sex almost straight away makes us not worthy of respect.

do you not both think it more reflects just how many men do pressure women into having sex or don't respect them so it's actually commentable when that doesn't happen?

Yes it probably does reflect that too but I also think it's indicates that lots of people still feel that women who have casual sex are less worthy of respect.

But we digress

ok, i will shh now.

i think i'm turning into the kind of person that doesn't really appreciate NSA sex anyway. although it worked for me before now.

Interesting discussion though. Double standards, how women feel about themselves and sex etc"

yeah it does seem interesting especially after a lot of the discussions that have gone on very recently.

if you or the other couple start a topic i will come have a nosey tomorrow. very tired now so going to sleep. night.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Does this makes sense ?"

Absolutely. I'd be happy with this but sadly, a single guy on fab, stating "It's ok - I don't need the sex, just the companionship", would probably be dismissed as a bullshitter.

Good luck with your weekend, OP - hope it all goes as you'd wish. Nice to read a success story, for a change.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some men arent actual cunts you know?

he is being a gent and waiting for you to make the first move believe me if he wasnt into you he wouldnt be coming to see you so i suggest you get him in your rooom and give him a night he will never forget

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"How interesting it is that people talk about "respecting" a woman and "not pressuring her into sex" as if sex were something dirty and nasty that women have to be duped into by men.

Yes I found that interesting and wonder if the fact that lots of us will consider having sex almost straight away makes us not worthy of respect.

do you not both think it more reflects just how many men do pressure women into having sex or don't respect them so it's actually commentable when that doesn't happen?

Yes it probably does reflect that too but I also think it's indicates that lots of people still feel that women who have casual sex are less worthy of respect.

But we digress

ok, i will shh now.

i think i'm turning into the kind of person that doesn't really appreciate NSA sex anyway. although it worked for me before now.

Interesting discussion though. Double standards, how women feel about themselves and sex etc

yeah it does seem interesting especially after a lot of the discussions that have gone on very recently.

if you or the other couple start a topic i will come have a nosey tomorrow. very tired now so going to sleep. night."

Good night

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

After all that chatting and seeing as you already know him quite well I'd be really disappointed if he told me he didnt want to spend the night with me. I think it's a little odd, but I do hope it works out for you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Perhaps he wants to court you, romance you, make you feel special and treat you right before getting into bed.

Don't over think things and enjoy it. It all sounds really positive so far

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've followed your post OP and remember you meeting him and it was so lovely to read. I hope your ok and he is maybe the one, you seem like a good egg and have a beautiful soul x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Any update?

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By *innamon!Woman over a year ago

no matter

"Any update?

What she said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Any update?

What she said

"
what she say ?

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple over a year ago

Halifax

He sounds like a good guy who wants to do things properly and get to know you .Thats lovely,sending you lots of happiness

Miss

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"Any update?

What she said

what she say ?

It's tonight they are seeing each other.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well he's either got pretences at saintly chastity, or he likes to move in when it's hot and wet and ready and not a moment earlier, or he's gay.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I really hope things are going well. xxx And we get a up date. x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I really hope things are going well. xxx And we get a up date. x

Yep I am wondering how it went! I think on fab we all get used to be people being open for sex without a relationship, its why we joined yes? Or if we are in a relationship to share with others... it can be easy to forget that in the outside world there are peopke that want to "wait" to have sex. They put that closeness and intimacy on a pedestal. And if you are open to that, it can be a beautiful thing no? Hope it is going well anyway

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By *lue9753Man over a year ago

Oldham

Just see what happens when ypu meet up and once you have kissed prpoerly things might change when the flesh as they say

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Any update on this?

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Has he left yet?

I do hope it was a splendid weekend.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He is single, lives alone, maybe he is used to having his own space and doesn't feel ready for the cuddly couple thing. He seems to be in a state of flux and romantic breakfasts might be a step too far.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

OK THE UPDATE

So we didnt book a room for either the Saturday or Sunday night at the point when we were re united on Saturday night.

I felt nervous and sick and was clock watching waiting for him to get off the Train at 21.11..

I saw him walking down the road and ran into the ladies toilets at the pub and gave myself a proper pep talk 'KIM BREATHE.. HE's HERE... BREATHE... YOU CAN DO THIS'

anyways i left the toilets, and walked out and there he was,, my stomach was doing summersaults at this point and soon as i saw his massive smile every single bit of doubt instantly vanished.. we just locked eyes and walked towards each other and just locked lips for THEEEEEE most sensational kiss of my life

My friend who happened to be the landlady of the pub just kindly said we could stay so we could both drink.. we mutually agree'd that no sex would happen (It wouldnt have been right in my eyes to do it in someone else's home... he felt the same).. we were frustrated but the cuddles and kisses were remarkable.. his skin next to mine.

He was kissing parts of my body that i thought were hideous (my 'overhang').. he knew i was self conscious as kept trying to cover up..

That Saturday night he told me he loved me. i asked him to repeat it as wasnt actually sure if thats what he said.. then made him repeat it a further 4 times just to be sure that he actually said it!!

The Saturday morning i suggested we get a room as we both wanted time together but away from our friends (even though i love them dearly).. He arrived 30 mins late (typical him) but sure made up for it.. was a night full of insanely amazing sex.. think i must have cum 15 times in the 18 hours we had in the hotel room. It had the most incredible view of the sea as we were right on Goodrington sea front and had planned a midnight walk on the beach as the moon was bright and the tide was in but soooo calm.

The morning was just more foreplay/cuddles/sex/joint shower/giggles and great conversation.. Time just flew by.

He gave me a card and said 'Made for each other. Happy Anniversary'.. it was 2 jigsaw pieces holding hands... We are 'official' now.. but the 'anniversary' was to mark just one month of knowing each other to the day which i thought was amazing. The message inside read 'Cant believe how everything had just changed that one night, love you'

So yeah i'm ridiculously high on lurve right now

Oh and he even told him mum about me and my 7 year old.. which according to our mutual friends is a massive deal for him 3

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yayyyyyy!! xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OK THE UPDATE

So we didnt book a room for either the Saturday or Sunday night at the point when we were re united on Saturday night.

I felt nervous and sick and was clock watching waiting for him to get off the Train at 21.11..

I saw him walking down the road and ran into the ladies toilets at the pub and gave myself a proper pep talk 'KIM BREATHE.. HE's HERE... BREATHE... YOU CAN DO THIS'

He was kissing parts of my body that i thought were hideous (my 'overhang').. he knew i was self conscious as kept trying to cover up..

The morning was just more foreplay/cuddles/sex/joint shower/giggles and great conversation.. Time just flew by.

So yeah i'm ridiculously high on lurve right now

Oh and he even told him mum about me and my 7 year old.. which according to our mutual friends is a massive deal for him 3

Oh wow that's lovely xx

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

FANTASTIC!

Now, concentrate on building the relationship and getting to know each other.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

Perfect

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By *s_macWoman over a year ago

Traffic land

"OK THE UPDATE

So we didnt book a room for either the Saturday or Sunday night at the point when we were re united on Saturday night.

I felt nervous and sick and was clock watching waiting for him to get off the Train at 21.11..

I saw him walking down the road and ran into the ladies toilets at the pub and gave myself a proper pep talk 'KIM BREATHE.. HE's HERE... BREATHE... YOU CAN DO THIS'

He was kissing parts of my body that i thought were hideous (my 'overhang').. he knew i was self conscious as kept trying to cover up..

The morning was just more foreplay/cuddles/sex/joint shower/giggles and great conversation.. Time just flew by.

So yeah i'm ridiculously high on lurve right now

Oh and he even told him mum about me and my 7 year old.. which according to our mutual friends is a massive deal for him 3

Oh wow! How lovely!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"FANTASTIC!

Now, concentrate on building the relationship and getting to know each other.

Absolutely.. just continue with what we were already doing. We both were just concerned that we were feeling strongly for each other having only spent 5 hours that initial night out.. so this weekend was just confirming that it truly was as incredible as we thought. Therefore all the conversations we had were/are real.. xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Congrats

So many cute new relationships

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"FANTASTIC!

Now, concentrate on building the relationship and getting to know each other.

Enjoy it. Long distance isn't easy and, in time, he'll need to win over your daughter too. It's heartening to know he told his mother so there is a good basis to build from and grow into being together.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hes in a relationship ....wait for the its not you .... its me ...

You need to ask him outright .... dont let him waste your time .

I have to agree... my take would be that he's in a relationship. Maybe offer to visit him sometime in Switzerland and see his reaction.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm well chuffed for you Maoam!! You deserve to be happy. Glad it was a fab weekend.

I'd be honest. When I read the initial post, it didn't seem like good news to me. But, I'm over the moon to be proved wrong!

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By *ink Panther.Woman over a year ago

Preston

And where was the warning before that update to say I'd need tissues, so happy for you sweetie xxx

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Sounds like the stuff of fairy tales

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sounds like the stuff of fairy tales

Im still waiting to wake up x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Aww, perfect. So happy for you. He sounds lovely. And congratulations x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"FANTASTIC!

Now, concentrate on building the relationship and getting to know each other.

Long distance can work if you're prepared to do the work so don't be too concerned. Enjoy the moments shared and look forward for the next one.

Mrs N and I spent the first year and a bit at opposite ends of the country. Saw each other maybe 4-5 times.

Sounds like you've found your 'one'. Fantastic news for a fantastic young woman.

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By *issy and hotCouple over a year ago

middlesbrough

Maybe he feels if you sleep together it means he is making commitment and doesn't know if he's ready for that ...and if you did sleep together and it doesn't go any further you will accuse him of just using you for sex

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And where was the warning before that update to say I'd need tissues, so happy for you sweetie xxx"

I'm not sure that was lady wank material

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By *ink Panther.Woman over a year ago

Preston

"And where was the warning before that update to say I'd need tissues, so happy for you sweetie xxx

I'm not sure that was lady wank material

Punishment

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Maybe he feels if you sleep together it means he is making commitment and doesn't know if he's ready for that ...and if you did sleep together and it doesn't go any further you will accuse him of just using you for sex "

That's a catch 22 isn't it?

. This is alsorts of complicated. Op, just ask him. He'll probably tell you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's a bit late, read the update.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Love is in the air...

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By *innamon!Woman over a year ago

no matter

Squeals of excitement for you.I really hope you have found happiness at last.

Dammit you could be moving to Switzerland though it is bloody expensive there.

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By *ink Panther.Woman over a year ago

Preston

That's a catch 22 isn't it?

. This is alsorts of complicated. Op, just ask him. He'll probably tell you. "

It appears profiles aren't the only thing you don't read

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's a catch 22 isn't it?

. This is alsorts of complicated. Op, just ask him. He'll probably tell you.

It appears profiles aren't the only thing you don't read

Why. What did I miss?

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By *ink Panther.Woman over a year ago

Preston

That's a catch 22 isn't it?

. This is alsorts of complicated. Op, just ask him. He'll probably tell you.

It appears profiles aren't the only thing you don't read

Why. What did I miss? "

The update

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Knew a guy wouldn't be able to chat all those hours and message and discuss sexual things without wanting to fuck when you see each other!

Congratulations, he sounds like a good one.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It could be out of respect. Is he Swiss or English. Culturally it's very different. Also communication is critical with anything. No harm in asking him or slipping it in to a conversation. Honesty and being up front is easier at times zx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"He is in a relationship maybe"

This or he has bad relationships in the past or possibly is gay or Bi sexual.

Or he may not like sex or maybe a virgin but I think what the guy I quoted said is most likely to be correct.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Read the update. They fucked.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So much for reading the UPDATE.

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By *icketysplitsWoman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"So much for reading the UPDATE.

That's all the way at the bottom. Reading the OP and then responding to a comment half way down is commitment enough.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

happy days

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So much for reading the UPDATE.

That's all the way at the bottom. Reading the OP and then responding to a comment half way down is commitment enough.

Pah, they call that commitment?

I only ate one of my 4 muffins that I was given. THAT'S COMMITMENT!

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By *ary_ArgyllMan over a year ago

Argyll

Could be many reasons - he may be a Christian and not believe in sex before marriage.

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"Sounds like the stuff of fairy tales

Im still waiting to wake up x "

I can't help but go 'Awwwwwwwwwwwwww'

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By *aul1973HullMan over a year ago

East Hull

I'm really pleased for you!

It like re-reading the love story between Anastasia and Christian.

Keep us all updated x

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By *ustin-SiderMan over a year ago

Belfast

I recently met a lovely women. Travelled so we could go out for dinner together but we didn't put any pressures on the whole thing. I just told her if we didn't click whatever then so be it and her spare room is fine but still nice to get to know someone new, or if there was good chemistry and we ended up banging each others brains out, again, so be it. No expectations, just simply see how it goes.

I think he is being polite or maybe trying to see what your thoughts are on it...... ie, if you were to say something like awwwww but I want cuddles or whatever.

Just tell him that there's no need to decide on a definite outcome and that you both just see how it goes and what happens happens.

PS. Just for those wondering. The chemistry was great and her and I ended up banging each other's brains out. Lol

Have a second date with her once I get back from holidays.

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By *pider-WomanWoman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"To me its saying he really like and respects you and taking his time to get to know you ..... I think its lovely and I am really liking the sound of this man ."

ME too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh I'm so happy for you OP. XX

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's fantastic. I'm glad it worked out for you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OK THE UPDATE

So we didnt book a room for either the Saturday or Sunday night at the point when we were re united on Saturday night.

I felt nervous and sick and was clock watching waiting for him to get off the Train at 21.11..

I saw him walking down the road and ran into the ladies toilets at the pub and gave myself a proper pep talk 'KIM BREATHE.. HE's HERE... BREATHE... YOU CAN DO THIS'

He was kissing parts of my body that i thought were hideous (my 'overhang').. he knew i was self conscious as kept trying to cover up..

The morning was just more foreplay/cuddles/sex/joint shower/giggles and great conversation.. Time just flew by.

So yeah i'm ridiculously high on lurve right now

Oh and he even told him mum about me and my 7 year old.. which according to our mutual friends is a massive deal for him 3

My reactions while reading that was... awwww! Ohhhh! Oooooohhhhhhh filth, awwwwwwwww!

I'm so pleased for you missus

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By *pider-WomanWoman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Wow...you lucky lady

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By *ucyfur77Woman over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"OK THE UPDATE

So we didnt book a room for either the Saturday or Sunday night at the point when we were re united on Saturday night.

I felt nervous and sick and was clock watching waiting for him to get off the Train at 21.11..

I saw him walking down the road and ran into the ladies toilets at the pub and gave myself a proper pep talk 'KIM BREATHE.. HE's HERE... BREATHE... YOU CAN DO THIS'

He was kissing parts of my body that i thought were hideous (my 'overhang').. he knew i was self conscious as kept trying to cover up..

The morning was just more foreplay/cuddles/sex/joint shower/giggles and great conversation.. Time just flew by.

So yeah i'm ridiculously high on lurve right now

Oh and he even told him mum about me and my 7 year old.. which according to our mutual friends is a massive deal for him 3

Yay! Congrats

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh wow I'm so happy for you!

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By *yldstyleWoman over a year ago

A world of my own

Awwww I love this so much!

Congratulations xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Congratulations

I love happy endings

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"OK THE UPDATE

So we didnt book a room for either the Saturday or Sunday night at the point when we were re united on Saturday night.

I felt nervous and sick and was clock watching waiting for him to get off the Train at 21.11..

I saw him walking down the road and ran into the ladies toilets at the pub and gave myself a proper pep talk 'KIM BREATHE.. HE's HERE... BREATHE... YOU CAN DO THIS'

He was kissing parts of my body that i thought were hideous (my 'overhang').. he knew i was self conscious as kept trying to cover up..

The morning was just more foreplay/cuddles/sex/joint shower/giggles and great conversation.. Time just flew by.

So yeah i'm ridiculously high on lurve right now

Oh and he even told him mum about me and my 7 year old.. which according to our mutual friends is a massive deal for him 3

You told your 7 year old about a guy you have known for 4 weeks? X

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

no.. he told his mum about me and my 7yr old.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Made up for you, you deserve this xx

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