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Honeys helpline
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sickeningly happy currently and I'm worried it's making me... soft. Me. Soft. What should I do? "
Go soft around someone and post simultaneously on the forum!! Mmm that still works better as a concept if you're a guy.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sickeningly happy currently and I'm worried it's making me... soft. Me. Soft. What should I do? "
What she said except the soft bit. I'm embracing that bit |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I'm sickeningly happy currently and I'm worried it's making me... soft. Me. Soft. What should I do?
Go soft around someone and post simultaneously on the forum!! Mmm that still works better as a concept if you're a guy. "
I know! It's not fair.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it okay to have a washing line? It's not old ladyish is it? 
very ok - i have a whirlygig but thats cos it was here when i moved in"
Phew I was called weird cos I have a washing line, how else would I dry my clothes in the summer! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm sickeningly happy currently and I'm worried it's making me... soft. Me. Soft. What should I do?
Go soft around someone and post simultaneously on the forum!! Mmm that still works better as a concept if you're a guy.
I know! It's not fair. "
stay bi |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I'm sickeningly happy currently and I'm worried it's making me... soft. Me. Soft. What should I do?
Go soft around someone and post simultaneously on the forum!! Mmm that still works better as a concept if you're a guy.
I know! It's not fair.
stay bi "
Hmm. That might be the answer to a lot of my current ponderings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm sickeningly happy currently and I'm worried it's making me... soft. Me. Soft. What should I do?
Go soft around someone and post simultaneously on the forum!! Mmm that still works better as a concept if you're a guy.
I know! It's not fair.
stay bi
Hmm. That might be the answer to a lot of my current ponderings. "
yup - you mentioned the other day - i remember some stuff off here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't faf or a lady wank. What's gone wrong?
I can't answer this question my vagina is also in a coma "
My vagina is in mourning, maybe we need some help with this one! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What the potentially damaging effects of a moth on the human digestive system.
You could get real bad spleen problems  "
((Thank you for mentally filling in the "are")).
Will I need a buttery net when I take a poo? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What the potentially damaging effects of a moth on the human digestive system.
You could get real bad spleen problems
((Thank you for mentally filling in the "are")).
Will I need a buttery net when I take a poo? "
Imagine that said butterfly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What the potentially damaging effects of a moth on the human digestive system.
You could get real bad spleen problems "
might tickle your arse as you poo it out |
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"I don't faf or a lady wank. What's gone wrong?
I can't answer this question my vagina is also in a coma
My vagina is in mourning, maybe we need some help with this one! "
As is mine. It is wearing black. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"Good evening Fab folk and welcome to my helpline
I will try and give advice or provide a solution to your problems. (Disclaimer it may not be much use at all)
Tell me, how may I help you? "
Can you advise what to do. I want to dip my cock in honey but I am don't want to get it to
Sticky   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good evening Fab folk and welcome to my helpline
I will try and give advice or provide a solution to your problems. (Disclaimer it may not be much use at all)
Tell me, how may I help you? "
Does tree bark grow from the inside or outside?
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm sickeningly happy currently and I'm worried it's making me... soft. Me. Soft. What should I do?
Go soft around someone and post simultaneously on the forum!! Mmm that still works better as a concept if you're a guy.
I know! It's not fair. "
Hahahaha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've spatchcocked my chicken, lit the bbq 30 mins ago. When will it be the right temperature to cook my chicken perfectly?
In 8 minutes "
From now or when I posted?  |
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"What the potentially damaging effects of a moth on the human digestive system.
You could get real bad spleen problems
((Thank you for mentally filling in the "are")).
Will I need a buttery net when I take a poo? "
No, that's a myth. |
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"Good evening Fab folk and welcome to my helpline
I will try and give advice or provide a solution to your problems. (Disclaimer it may not be much use at all)
Tell me, how may I help you?
Can you advise what to do. I want to dip my cock in honey but I am don't want to get it to
Sticky "
I'll wash it after |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't faf or a lady wank. What's gone wrong?
I can't answer this question my vagina is also in a coma
My vagina is in mourning, maybe we need some help with this one!
As is mine. It is wearing black. "
(( I thought that was the other hole.... ) |
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"Good evening Fab folk and welcome to my helpline
I will try and give advice or provide a solution to your problems. (Disclaimer it may not be much use at all)
Tell me, how may I help you?
Does tree bark grow from the inside or outside?
"
I couldn't tell you it was so good my eyes closed in delight  |
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"I don't faf or a lady wank. What's gone wrong?
I can't answer this question my vagina is also in a coma
My vagina is in mourning, maybe we need some help with this one!
As is mine. It is wearing black.
(( I thought that was the other hole.... )"
All of them |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I'm sickeningly happy currently and I'm worried it's making me... soft. Me. Soft. What should I do?
Go soft around someone and post simultaneously on the forum!! Mmm that still works better as a concept if you're a guy.
I know! It's not fair.
stay bi
Hmm. That might be the answer to a lot of my current ponderings.
yup - you mentioned the other day - i remember some stuff off here "
 I'm touched. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've spatchcocked my chicken, lit the bbq 30 mins ago. When will it be the right temperature to cook my chicken perfectly?
In 8 minutes
From now or when I posted?
30 seconds...get it on "
It's in 
Thanks honey |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have five massive (and growing) mozzie bites on leg/ass/midriff/arm. They are so itchy regardless of how much Anthisan I put on them and are now less small red bit and more like hard egg size swollen hard lump of skin pox.
It might be too late for me.
Is there hope? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i haven't seen my husband for over 7 years...can i have him declared dead now, as this will be much cheaper than a divorce?
Yes you can. "
woo hoo!! result!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't faf or a lady wank. What's gone wrong?
I can't answer this question my vagina is also in a coma
My vagina is in mourning, maybe we need some help with this one!
As is mine. It is wearing black. "
Take a razor to it bloody hell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have five massive (and growing) mozzie bites on leg/ass/midriff/arm. They are so itchy regardless of how much Anthisan I put on them and are now less small red bit and more like hard egg size swollen hard lump of skin pox.
It might be too late for me.
Is there hope?"
Take a promethazine, that'll take away the itch xx |
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"I've spatchcocked my chicken, lit the bbq 30 mins ago. When will it be the right temperature to cook my chicken perfectly?
In 8 minutes
From now or when I posted?
30 seconds...get it on
It's in
Thanks honey "
I like those words "it's in" |
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"I have five massive (and growing) mozzie bites on leg/ass/midriff/arm. They are so itchy regardless of how much Anthisan I put on them and are now less small red bit and more like hard egg size swollen hard lump of skin pox.
It might be too late for me.
Is there hope?"
Get someone to piss on them |
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"I don't faf or a lady wank. What's gone wrong?
I can't answer this question my vagina is also in a coma
My vagina is in mourning, maybe we need some help with this one!
As is mine. It is wearing black.
Take a razor to it bloody hell "
Can't. It's not been 40 days |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it true that you were in the Lord of the Rings films and you played the gap of Rohan? (( I heard it from a friend))
Correct "
Nice. I'm going off down the pub to tell them. I know a movie star! |
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"Is it true that you were in the Lord of the Rings films and you played the gap of Rohan? (( I heard it from a friend))
Correct
Nice. I'm going off down the pub to tell them. I know a movie star! "
You are going off down the pub. Have you reached your use by date? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it true that you were in the Lord of the Rings films and you played the gap of Rohan? (( I heard it from a friend))
Correct
Nice. I'm going off down the pub to tell them. I know a movie star!
You are going off down the pub. Have you reached your use by date? "
. You know the answer to that ((damn how do you do a super huge font?)) YES.
* note to self: change username to Mouldyman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have five massive (and growing) mozzie bites on leg/ass/midriff/arm. They are so itchy regardless of how much Anthisan I put on them and are now less small red bit and more like hard egg size swollen hard lump of skin pox.
It might be too late for me.
Is there hope?
Take a promethazine, that'll take away the itch xx"
Dammit, that means going somewhere and buying some! My first aid kit is inadequate. What's the point of it?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have five massive (and growing) mozzie bites on leg/ass/midriff/arm. They are so itchy regardless of how much Anthisan I put on them and are now less small red bit and more like hard egg size swollen hard lump of skin pox.
It might be too late for me.
Is there hope?
Get someone to piss on them "
|
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"I have five massive (and growing) mozzie bites on leg/ass/midriff/arm. They are so itchy regardless of how much Anthisan I put on them and are now less small red bit and more like hard egg size swollen hard lump of skin pox.
It might be too late for me.
Is there hope?
Get someone to piss on them
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Currently in Tesco's(hope no one is looking over my shoulder) Chocolate Digestives or Choc Hob Nobs ? In a dilemma and they shut at 11
hob nobs"
Thanks lovely, But think the Op Miss Honey should decide , think I'm about to get chucked out
Help!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Actually - which brand of knee pads is the most reliable for heavy duty use?
I have some great blowjob knee pads. Is that what you need?"
You have knee pads for blowjobs? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Currently in Tesco's(hope no one is looking over my shoulder) Chocolate Digestives or Choc Hob Nobs ? In a dilemma and they shut at 11
You really need to ask? Hob nobs "
Thank you  I can have a good dunk now  |
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"Actually - which brand of knee pads is the most reliable for heavy duty use?
I have some great blowjob knee pads. Is that what you need?
You have knee pads for blowjobs? "
I have elbow pads for sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am going on a vanilla date tonight. Decided my over the knees boots was a bit too much. Grey dress stockings and heels. What ya think ??
Send a photo "
You have mail |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am going on a vanilla date tonight. Decided my over the knees boots was a bit too much. Grey dress stockings and heels. What ya think ?? "
Sounds lovely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am going on a vanilla date tonight. Decided my over the knees boots was a bit too much. Grey dress stockings and heels. What ya think ??
Sounds lovely."
Lush is the commet I got |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hi Miss Honey,
I am too lazy to start a look at me thread but would like advice on my profile. How can I get advice without resorting to posting a "please look at my profile" post.
my undying gratitude awaits |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am going on a vanilla date tonight. Decided my over the knees boots was a bit too much. Grey dress stockings and heels. What ya think ??
Sounds lovely.
Lush is the commet I got "
Matching underwear? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Might I seek advice on how best to recover from a weekend of excess (of the drinky variety, nothin' naughty) in Newcastle? I am lead on my bed unable to muster my mojo!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Actually - which brand of knee pads is the most reliable for heavy duty use?
I have some great blowjob knee pads. Is that what you need?
You have knee pads for blowjobs? "
Bukkake pads. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Actually - which brand of knee pads is the most reliable for heavy duty use?
I have some great blowjob knee pads. Is that what you need?
You have knee pads for blowjobs?
Bukkake pads."
Do they come with goggles and a swimming cap? |
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"Hi Miss Honey,
I am too lazy to start a look at me thread but would like advice on my profile. How can I get advice without resorting to posting a "please look at my profile" post.
my undying gratitude awaits "
Don't bother. |
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"Might I seek advice on how best to recover from a weekend of excess (of the drinky variety, nothin' naughty) in Newcastle? I am lead on my bed unable to muster my mojo! "
You need me to sit on your face |
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"Actually - which brand of knee pads is the most reliable for heavy duty use?
I have some great blowjob knee pads. Is that what you need?
You have knee pads for blowjobs?
Bukkake pads."
Party essential |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi Miss Honey,
I am too lazy to start a look at me thread but would like advice on my profile. How can I get advice without resorting to posting a "please look at my profile" post.
my undying gratitude awaits
Don't bother."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I found a bramble in the back garden almost two inches across. How does one safely tell if the bramble is actually a triffid?"
Has it tried to kill you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good evening Fab folk and welcome to my helpline
I will try and give advice or provide a solution to your problems. (Disclaimer it may not be much use at all)
Tell me, how may I help you? "
find me a hairy pussy  |
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By *rrol.BMan
over a year ago
Wrexham |
"I found a bramble in the back garden almost two inches across. How does one safely tell if the bramble is actually a triffid?
Has it tried to kill you?"
Yes!
Admittedly, I had set upon it with secateurs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Might I seek advice on how best to recover from a weekend of excess (of the drinky variety, nothin' naughty) in Newcastle? I am lead on my bed unable to muster my mojo!
You need me to sit on your face "
Mmmmff-mmffmmm!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Might I seek advice on how best to recover from a weekend of excess (of the drinky variety, nothin' naughty) in Newcastle? I am lead on my bed unable to muster my mojo!
Man up self inflicted  "
So not true!! I'm soooo tired! My roomy snored constantly! |
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"Might I seek advice on how best to recover from a weekend of excess (of the drinky variety, nothin' naughty) in Newcastle? I am lead on my bed unable to muster my mojo!
You need me to sit on your face
Mmmmff-mmffmmm!!! "
Sorry what? |
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"Good evening Fab folk and welcome to my helpline
I will try and give advice or provide a solution to your problems. (Disclaimer it may not be much use at all)
Tell me, how may I help you? "
My ball sack is full, can you empty it for me miss honey |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Miss Honey
Please could you knock 50 years off my age and add 9 inches on my willy.
Thanking you in anticipation.
John
Sorry but no
This site is full of nice buts."
FIFY |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"Good evening Fab folk and welcome to my helpline
I will try and give advice or provide a solution to your problems. (Disclaimer it may not be much use at all)
Tell me, how may I help you?
Can you advise what to do. I want to dip my cock in honey but I am don't want to get it to
Sticky
I'll wash it after "
Mmmmmm deal |
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