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You know you are a swinger when...

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By *i tor and the snowdog OP Couple over a year ago

walsall/coventry

You chat to people about cities around the country and you relate them to the name of a swingers club in the town

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is there a swingers club in every main city these days ? I think there probably is, with the help of Fab you can probably find a swinger in every town

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

..when you look down on anyone that doesn't think about sex 24/7 and anyone that won't shag anything with a pulse.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You snigger when you say fab or fabulous lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A bloke you met 10 mins ago is balls deep in your Mrs?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A bloke you met 10 mins ago is balls deep in your Mrs?"

Lol

I cant see the DP sign for Dorothy Perkins now without a smile

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you turn for a meeting and realise the house is minging and the photos are 20 years old and there are dog hairs on the sofa.

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By *cutebum9Couple over a year ago

wallsend

All you do all day is check fab for meets

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you buy condoms in bulk and love honey pops up with deals

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All you do all day is check fab for meets "
Is that Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When you buy condoms in bulk and love honey pops up with deals

When you have said condoms and they have gone by the use by date

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You set a small contained fire in the hope that *that* fireman turns up....?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You set a small contained fire in the hope that *that* fireman turns up....?"
is that not pyromania?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You've finally learned that it is possible to be straight and like trannies. You checked the Gay Man's Handbook and failed to find anything about being attracted to the female form.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you walk all day looking for a ankle bracelets.

When somebody says Fab in general conversation and you think they are trying to drop you a hint.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You stop chatting up women for you and instead find yourself chatting up men for your missus!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When every female you chat to you wonder if she would like going to a club with you

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By *ushandkittyCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

"A bloke you met 10 mins ago is balls deep in your Mrs?

Lol

I cant see the DP sign for Dorothy Perkins now without a smile

They did have to rethink their twitter advertising after using #lovedp

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No there is definitely not

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By *ushandkittyCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

When you go to a spa and giggle when asking for a facial

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

When you more easily recognise some friends when they are naked.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When married men find it hard to get an erection at home unless they walk around dressed in a towel with a locker key wrist band holding a condom and a bottle of water?

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

When there are 100 people in you phone, and half of them you have no idea what their surnames are.

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

When on holiday, you have to get dressed to be able to be in pics that you can show friends and family.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When married men find it hard to get an erection at home unless they walk around dressed in a towel with a locker key wrist band holding a condom and a bottle of water?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You have a lost property box . for items left behind at parties

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When your interpretation of Athletic, Average and Curvy have no apparent meaning!

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

When you have been to more "anniversary" "birthday" "engagement" and "wedding" parties in the last 6 months than most people go to in years.

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

When you wife has had more female sexual partners than you have.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When youre babysitter asks if you'll be staying out all night again.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When the profiles on FAB and a certain fishing site are one and the same.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you have to keep coming up with new stories when introducing new swing friends to vanilla friends. "So, how did you guys meet?......erm"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When you turn for a meeting and realise the house is minging and the photos are 20 years old and there are dog hairs on the sofa."

Had a few of them made an excuse and left

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

When you have to look twice because you don't recognise some people with their clothes on

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By *ounce-N-BoomCouple over a year ago

London

When auto correct changes innocent words into filthy ones and not noticing until too late.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you hear other people talking about their weekend and you answer with the usual, but usual in your head means having gone to a swingers party

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you are at a concert and wondering how many people are going to be going home to a threesome

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By *cd and scruffCouple over a year ago

Rochester

When you recognise someone but can't remember where from and you daren't say hi.

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By *ild_oatsMan over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

When you have to explain to your neighbours why you get so many visitors....

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By *eneral HysteriaMan over a year ago

Newcastle

When BBC no longer means Aunty Beeb

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By *i tor and the snowdog OP Couple over a year ago

walsall/coventry

"When auto correct changes innocent words into filthy ones and not noticing until too late."

Last year I asked my kids if they wanted to come over for a bbw !!!!

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By *ild_oatsMan over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

"When auto correct changes innocent words into filthy ones and not noticing until too late.

Last year I asked my kids if they wanted to come over for a bbw !!!!"

Now that is one text I would like to receive...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When the first thing in the morning & last thing at night you look at is Fab

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By *rueone71Man over a year ago

Hiding in the Barnes

"When BBC no longer means Aunty Beeb "

British Broadcasting Corporation

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Trying to keep a straight face when a friend keeps talking about watersports at the beach.

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

You spot number plates with swinging related abbreviations in them such as MFF

You chuckle at the local shopping centre's advert for ladies night knowing full well it won't be as fun as ladies night at a swingers club

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple over a year ago

home sweet home

"You snigger when you say fab or fabulous lol"

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple over a year ago

home sweet home

"Trying to keep a straight face when a friend keeps talking about watersports at the beach."

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple over a year ago

home sweet home

"You spot number plates with swinging related abbreviations in them such as MFF

You chuckle at the local shopping centre's advert for ladies night knowing full well it won't be as fun as ladies night at a swingers club

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By *esicupidsCouple over a year ago

Manchester

"A bloke you met 10 mins ago is balls deep in your Mrs?

Lol

I cant see the DP sign for Dorothy Perkins now without a smile

Even worse DP for Disney Princess has lost its meaning too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you are using the forum

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By *eneral HysteriaMan over a year ago

Newcastle

Tool.

That's all.

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

When you walk around a supermarket classifying women as curvy, athletic, fabulous etc. And imagining what their pics might look like.

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By *rueone71Man over a year ago

Hiding in the Barnes

You check "who's mobile nearby" on a Friday night / Saturday morning as you see a Couple in a McDonald, in Central London, speaking with an Irish accent!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You're at the kids sports day and you're checking your messages on fab whilst missing your daughter win the 600 metre race... guilty...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You start looking down on how other people conduct their swinging lives.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you go to collect something you have bought on gumtree and wonder if you have seen their bare arse on here

Or when you see them in person, hope they are!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you skip straight past the slide and roundabout

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By *opular PoppyCouple over a year ago

Herts

Absolutely LOVE this thread... Cannot stop laughing!

Soooooooooo...

When the other mums at the school gates ask you what your plans are for the weekend... "going to a party or two..."

And images flash across your mind of being spit roasted and spunked on... Being a complete pig with as many people as possible... And you know it will happen...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

when bantering with non fab friends constantly having to say - oh was chatting with a friend about blah blah blah and all the while was stuff id been chunnering on about in the forums

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You're at the kids sports day and you're checking your messages on fab whilst missing your daughter win the 600 metre race... guilty..."

Ooops!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You used to like porn, but since becoming a swinger you find it boring

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By *opular PoppyCouple over a year ago

Herts

"You used to like porn, but since becoming a swinger you find it boring

Hahahahahaha love it!

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By *eneral HysteriaMan over a year ago

Newcastle

"Absolutely LOVE this thread... Cannot stop laughing!

Soooooooooo...

When the other mums at the school gates ask you what your plans are for the weekend... "going to a party or two..."

And images flash across your mind of being spit roasted and spunked on... Being a complete pig with as many people as possible... And you know it will happen...

Noo ya' taalkin'

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By *eneral HysteriaMan over a year ago

Newcastle

... when you watch a news article about the fitness of jousters and you're not thinking of a medieval sport

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By *layful Couple For YouCouple over a year ago

Lust

When you have a 'back up story' to relate to family and vanilla friends when they ask 'so, how was your weekend?'

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By *exyfuncouple-40Couple over a year ago

Bloxham

When your overnight bag contains normal stuff and a 16 inch double ender

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By *ild_oatsMan over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

Hanging out your washing and your neighbour asks if you go to a lot of fancy dress parties...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You're at the supermarket and playing 'definitely a swinger' with the other shoppers.

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By *uckOfTheBayMan over a year ago

Mold

"You chat to people about cities around the country and you relate them to the name of a swingers club in the town "

I do that with pubs!

Does that make me an alcoholic?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You're at the supermarket and playing 'definitely a swinger' with the other shoppers."

Restaurants ... cafes ... shops . ..

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By *ddit...Man over a year ago

Land of the giants... ;-)

You walk into the office and shout..

"Morning Fabbers"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you as a bunch of strangers advice how to take a good picture of your cock

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You're at the supermarket and playing 'definitely a swinger' with the other shoppers.

Restaurants ... cafes ... shops . .. "

lol absolutely

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You stop chatting up women for you and instead find yourself chatting up men for your missus!"

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By *eneral HysteriaMan over a year ago

Newcastle

"You're at the supermarket and playing 'definitely a swinger' with the other shoppers.

Restaurants ... cafes ... shops . .. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When you as a bunch of strangers advice how to take a good picture of your cock

They don't like it when I ask them at the bus stop

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By *ild_oatsMan over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

When you are in Costa Coffee and you read on the tray "Roasted in London since 1971" and its not coffee beans you immediately think of.....

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By *uriousduosCouple over a year ago

St Leonards

"When you have been to more "anniversary" "birthday" "engagement" and "wedding" parties in the last 6 months than most people go to in years."

Hahaha love this one... were just starting out and as we rely on the inlaws to look after the doggies we're having to make these kind of excuses! Lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I work at Heathrow and constantly see an airline logo, ANA, all I think of when I see it is bum sex

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You snigger when you say fab or fabulous lol"

This

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

When any discussion amongst non-swinging friends about sex is a time to keep quiet as you probably knows more about unusual sex etc than anyone else

You delete and block your boss for just sending short messages at work that don't mention your interests etc

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When you stopped counting how many people you have shagged around 10 years ago you no longer know all there last names and occasionally when getting carried away in a group situation you may have to ask for first name rather awkwardly afterwards

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When simple things make you blush slightly.

This morning our children were playing a party game and one of them says 'it's your birthday and I got you your favourite, a rabbit'

Just like their mum

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By *adja_lazloCouple over a year ago

Solihull

when you go past a beauty salon and chuckle when you see full facial advertised

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When any discussion amongst non-swinging friends about sex is a time to keep quiet as you probably knows more about unusual sex etc than anyone else

You delete and block your boss for just sending short messages at work that don't mention your interests etc"

And every word that they say can be a sexual innuendo.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You chat to people about cities around the country and you relate them to the name of a swingers club in the town "
can't say ive done that but maybe a woman ha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You have a lost property box . for items left behind at parties

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You spend most of the day telling confused fab straight guys that ur not interested ???

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By *od ThrusterMan over a year ago

Newport Pagnell

When you pick up the Sky remote to change channels and wonder if you have time to slip your cock out and take a quick snap!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When someone mentions chameleons or fab

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