FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Belonging
Belonging
Jump to: Newest in thread
 | |||
| |||
| |||
"No I think of myself as transient. For a time I belong somewhere, with someone ect Then the time takes me elsewhere" You don't think anything is permanent that it will always change? I feel like that about some things  | |||
 | |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
"Anxiety is a wonderful thing isn't it. I actively avoid social situations as I just tend to feel awkward and out of place. I find it especially harder if I'm around loud people. I constantly stress I will say the wrong thing, look awkward in general or do something to make myself look stupid. So much easier to avoid unless I'm going somewhere I'm familiar, and comfortable with. " Do you think you miss out on things because of it? x | |||
"Anxiety is a wonderful thing isn't it. I actively avoid social situations as I just tend to feel awkward and out of place. I find it especially harder if I'm around loud people. I constantly stress I will say the wrong thing, look awkward in general or do something to make myself look stupid. So much easier to avoid unless I'm going somewhere I'm familiar, and comfortable with. " ^ ^ ^ This 100 % | |||
"Since I stopped drinking I must admit I now find I'm out of my depth being involved in big piss up occasions...don't know what the answer is but having a drink to get on everyone's level is not a option "That's a good example of belonging being transient. Your circumstances change and you feel you don't belong in an environment any longer | |||
"When I'm doing my martial arts training I feel like I don't belong there, mainly cause I'm the oldest active member and everyone else is in their late teens or early 20s "Would you let that prevent you from doing something you enjoy? | |||
| |||
"I had a pm this morning that has made me think about it. Belonging isn't something that worries me I just arrive in an environment I choose to be in and go with it. I actually get excited about meeting new ppl and new situations. I know that isn't the case for some and I would always try and make it easier for someone else in that situation. The forthcoming lounge social is a source of great anxiety for some and I know it's taking a lot of courage for them to go. Is belonging a concept that you struggle with? Do you regularly feel that you don't belong in an environment, like Fab for example? Do you see others and think they clearly belong and I'm not like them? I often wonder about a person's perception of if they belong somewhere or not. What is it that makes them believe they don't belong? Why is it they have chosen to be somewhere yet they have overwhelming thoughts making them doubt their decision? Is it others in the environment that are the problem for them? I know it's Friday sorry "Yes. | |||
| |||
 | |||
"Anxiety is a wonderful thing isn't it. I actively avoid social situations as I just tend to feel awkward and out of place. I find it especially harder if I'm around loud people. I constantly stress I will say the wrong thing, look awkward in general or do something to make myself look stupid. So much easier to avoid unless I'm going somewhere I'm familiar, and comfortable with. Do you think you miss out on things because of it? x" Oh definitely. It must be liberating to be able to walk into somewhere and genuinely not give a shit what anyone thinks. The amount of times I've been on socials and hidden on the outside to avoid being looked at or spoken to, so as not to run the risk of embarrassing myself is ridiculous. It's why I don't do them, but yes, I probably am missing out on a lot by not being able to overcome the completely irrational thought that everyone is judging me. | |||
| |||
"I don't think I've ever felt that I truly belong to something, whether that be family, work or fab. I tend to perceive myself as floating on the outskirts somewhere. It's hard to explain. It used to be a source of anxiety; not so much anymore, although I do worry a lot and I wonder if this may be a source. " You don't think you penetrate the inner circle? | |||
"Belonging is an important value for me. If I don't feel I belong somewhere I don't stay, however that is a very rare situation as I'm a bit chameleon-like in my ability to adapt to my environment. I also like to help others to feel included as well if that is what they want." Are you describing belonging or feeling wanted? | |||
| |||
"I never 'fit' anywhere.. I've become more ok with that as times gone on though. I'm aware I'm not the usual in most scenario's, and that's alright mostly" What makes you think you don't fit in? | |||
"Deep and meaningful Pink. The only place I feel like I truly belong is with my family. I'm happy, comfortable and content. Social situations are difficult for me. I'm shy, I'm socially awkward, I giggle and I think perhaps sometimes that can be misconstrued. It's a curse at times. It has prevented me from doing many things in my life. Other times I put my big girl pants on and dive into something that I want to do. As I've got older I've tried to push myself a bit more to try things, perhaps put myself in situations that I have avoided previously. I can't really relate to feelings of belonging to anything as such, other than with family. " I thought I'd make you think  | |||
"Anxiety is a wonderful thing isn't it. I actively avoid social situations as I just tend to feel awkward and out of place. I find it especially harder if I'm around loud people. I constantly stress I will say the wrong thing, look awkward in general or do something to make myself look stupid. So much easier to avoid unless I'm going somewhere I'm familiar, and comfortable with. Do you think you miss out on things because of it? x Oh definitely. It must be liberating to be able to walk into somewhere and genuinely not give a shit what anyone thinks. The amount of times I've been on socials and hidden on the outside to avoid being looked at or spoken to, so as not to run the risk of embarrassing myself is ridiculous. It's why I don't do them, but yes, I probably am missing out on a lot by not being able to overcome the completely irrational thought that everyone is judging me. " You need a social buddy and you should go xxx | |||
"Although I loath change or new situations if needs be I adapt quickly and soon become emersed in the new environment and shed off the previous." I think that's a natural way of dealing with it | |||
 | |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
"Belonging is an important value for me. If I don't feel I belong somewhere I don't stay, however that is a very rare situation as I'm a bit chameleon-like in my ability to adapt to my environment. I also like to help others to feel included as well if that is what they want. Are you describing belonging or feeling wanted? "Belonging- feeling part of something- be it a team, a community, an organisation etc... | |||
"No I think of myself as transient. For a time I belong somewhere, with someone ect Then the time takes me elsewhere You don't think anything is permanent that it will always change? I feel like that about some things "I have no confidence in anything, bar my mum will always have my back. X | |||
"I had a pm this morning that has made me think about it. Belonging isn't something that worries me I just arrive in an environment I choose to be in and go with it. I actually get excited about meeting new ppl and new situations. I know that isn't the case for some and I would always try and make it easier for someone else in that situation. The forthcoming lounge social is a source of great anxiety for some and I know it's taking a lot of courage for them to go. Is belonging a concept that you struggle with? Do you regularly feel that you don't belong in an environment, like Fab for example? Do you see others and think they clearly belong and I'm not like them? I often wonder about a person's perception of if they belong somewhere or not. What is it that makes them believe they don't belong? Why is it they have chosen to be somewhere yet they have overwhelming thoughts making them doubt their decision? Is it others in the environment that are the problem for them? I know it's Friday sorry "The feeling of belonging or not belonging can be down to a number of factors... how out going someone is... other people's reaction to New people and how clicky groups are.. if drugs have been consumed this can send the user either way.. also medical conditions can be a factor such as autism... personally I put myself out there to fit in to begin with but this is different to belonging I guess... this could be a level up... i go away on business a lot... I go out by myself and can strike up conversation with anyone.. | |||
"I never 'fit' anywhere.. I've become more ok with that as times gone on though. I'm aware I'm not the usual in most scenario's, and that's alright mostly What makes you think you don't fit in?" I'm that person that floats, that rarely makes proper friends.. people pre judge me based on appearance and it creates either barriers or alterior motives. A great example is uni, I briefly got ok with a girl from my course who told me apparently everyone knows my name... But nobody actually talks to me! | |||
"Urrgghh - this is a huge thing for me. I have only ever very very rarely felt that I've 'belonged' or 'fitted in', be that in a workplace, a social situation, a friendship group or even family. My natural, knee jerk reaction to different environments, sensations, people and/or situations is very often quite different to those of the majority and therefore I usually have to concentrate extremely hard - based on what I've learned is the socially acceptable way of doing things - to fit in and not be considered odd, weird, insensitive, rude, stand offish and similar. This is often such hard work, quite exhausting trying to keep up, that it's easier just to withdraw ... which of course then makes any concerns about not belonging even more accute, and ramps up anxiety. The irony is that I do like my own company a lot of the time and often prefer to do things on my own. But short of becoming a hermit you inevitably have to fit in with other people in some way sooner or later, and every so often I would quite like to join in (because people look nice/interesting or something looks fun) and feel accepted for who I am rather than my funny ways being tolerated. I do spend a lot of time observing others, wherever I am, because how people tick really interests me but I'm ashamed to say I often end up feeling envious and frustrated by the ease with which most others seem to 'belong' in a given situation or group. And I literally don't understand how they manage to do that?? ... I can 'learn' the expected social conventions most people expect but life is fluid, as are people and conversations, so the things I rehearse in my head are easily rendered useless anyway within seconds. Though other people seem to navigate all of that naturally. I just perpetually feel my brain works differently when it comes to most interaction, and have felt like that my whole life so I'm not sure it's ever going to change. God, that got a bit deep - sorry. What I would say, in relation to the original question, is that I was hugely anxious - to the point of shaking and almost being sick - before I went to the London Tea Party social back in March ... because of all the aforementioned stuff. I feel sure I talked a load of rubbish and may have come across as a bit awkward but the vast majority of people I met seemed pleasant and inclusive, and the overall experience, in retrospect, wasn't quite the ordeal I'd imagined beforehand, though I still found it tiring and a bit overwhelming from having to consciously *think* so hard before I opened my mouth and said something stupid or weird. What I'm trying to convey is that I'm sure, as in London, the Lounge Social organisers would make efforts to include everyone, greet them, introduce them and so on. I didn't feel I 'belonged' there but that was no reflection on anyone else because I never do, however, I was pleasantly surprised at how lovely some of those I met were and for anyone feeling anxious about such things, bear in mind you can leave at any time - there's no rule about how long you have to stay if you're feeling uncomfortable. " Thank you for your post, I'm so glad you enjoyed the social. That's wonderful advice to everyone attending or organising future events xxx | |||
"But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. "You belong anywhere there is a group of ppl | |||
"I no I don't belong on hear but..... The forum is addictive "You're here, therefore you belong don't let anyone including yourself tell you otherwise. You certainly belong on the forum, it's a better place with you here x | |||
"I had a pm this morning that has made me think about it. Belonging isn't something that worries me I just arrive in an environment I choose to be in and go with it. I actually get excited about meeting new ppl and new situations. I know that isn't the case for some and I would always try and make it easier for someone else in that situation. The forthcoming lounge social is a source of great anxiety for some and I know it's taking a lot of courage for them to go. Is belonging a concept that you struggle with? Do you regularly feel that you don't belong in an environment, like Fab for example? Do you see others and think they clearly belong and I'm not like them? I often wonder about a person's perception of if they belong somewhere or not. What is it that makes them believe they don't belong? Why is it they have chosen to be somewhere yet they have overwhelming thoughts making them doubt their decision? Is it others in the environment that are the problem for them? I know it's Friday sorry "this is an interesting question!. I think that when people meet on the swinging scene, they tend to talk more openly and honestly, sharing our desires much more openly than we would in Vanilla Land. I think that this helps give a sense of belonging. Something that I don't always feel on the outside | |||
"Belonging - that's a tricky one. Something I fight with on a regular basis. I'm a fully paid up introvert. Group situations can be a nightmare. Approaching the door, a wall of worry and doubt pops up and getting through it can be a struggle. Will they like me? What if I say the wrong thing? What if they all think I'm weird and just ignore me? Once I am in and settled then it's easier. Not easy but easier. Manchester does worry me in that regard even though I know familiar faces will be there. Fab had all manner of confusions for me. As ridiculous as it sounds, Friday's used to be a real day of doubt for me. People would be buzzing around the forum talking about the club they were going to or the 'hot meet' they were having while I sat there pondering whether I needed a new blade for my tile cutter or some other mundane DIY related pondering. The black fog that would come over me made me doubt whether Fab was for me - did I really belong here? There are still moments where I wonder whether life would be different/better if I wasn't around. I've only been in the forums around 10 months in all and I still feel like an outsider sometimes. " Your presence has been missed over the past few days and I'm so glad you've chosen to return. You make me smile I'm always drawn to your threads just to have a chuckle. I don't always post on them but always feel uplifted after having a peek. You're definitely not an outsider and you really do belong x | |||
"There are many things or places I'm naturally drawn to and many others that I struggle or feel uncomfortable with. On the terraces at my football club - that's a real sense of belonging. Fab? Just a bit of escapism not to be taken too seriously - I feel very much the odd one out when everyone else is saying they're constantly horny or sex is the be all and end all. Most of the time I just prefer a cup of tea to be honest. I don't look at others and think 'ah they belong here and I don't'. I just know what I do and don't like, and accept that others will like different things. If that makes them feel like they 'belong' so be it. " There was no point sending you FAF then? | |||
"There are many things or places I'm naturally drawn to and many others that I struggle or feel uncomfortable with. On the terraces at my football club - that's a real sense of belonging. Fab? Just a bit of escapism not to be taken too seriously - I feel very much the odd one out when everyone else is saying they're constantly horny or sex is the be all and end all. Most of the time I just prefer a cup of tea to be honest. I don't look at others and think 'ah they belong here and I don't'. I just know what I do and don't like, and accept that others will like different things. If that makes them feel like they 'belong' so be it. There was no point sending you FAF then? "Send nudes instead  | |||
"I had a pm this morning that has made me think about it. Belonging isn't something that worries me I just arrive in an environment I choose to be in and go with it. I actually get excited about meeting new ppl and new situations. I know that isn't the case for some and I would always try and make it easier for someone else in that situation. The forthcoming lounge social is a source of great anxiety for some and I know it's taking a lot of courage for them to go. Is belonging a concept that you struggle with? Do you regularly feel that you don't belong in an environment, like Fab for example? Do you see others and think they clearly belong and I'm not like them? I often wonder about a person's perception of if they belong somewhere or not. What is it that makes them believe they don't belong? Why is it they have chosen to be somewhere yet they have overwhelming thoughts making them doubt their decision? Is it others in the environment that are the problem for them? I know it's Friday sorry
The feeling of belonging or not belonging can be down to a number of factors... how out going someone is... other people's reaction to New people and how clicky groups are.. if drugs have been consumed this can send the user either way.. also medical conditions can be a factor such as autism... personally I put myself out there to fit in to begin with but this is different to belonging I guess... this could be a level up... i go away on business a lot... I go out by myself and can strike up conversation with anyone.. "Good points | |||
"I had a pm this morning that has made me think about it. Belonging isn't something that worries me I just arrive in an environment I choose to be in and go with it. I actually get excited about meeting new ppl and new situations. I know that isn't the case for some and I would always try and make it easier for someone else in that situation. The forthcoming lounge social is a source of great anxiety for some and I know it's taking a lot of courage for them to go. Is belonging a concept that you struggle with? Do you regularly feel that you don't belong in an environment, like Fab for example? Do you see others and think they clearly belong and I'm not like them? I often wonder about a person's perception of if they belong somewhere or not. What is it that makes them believe they don't belong? Why is it they have chosen to be somewhere yet they have overwhelming thoughts making them doubt their decision? Is it others in the environment that are the problem for them? I know it's Friday sorry this is an interesting question!. I think that when people meet on the swinging scene, they tend to talk more openly and honestly, sharing our desires much more openly than we would in Vanilla Land. I think that this helps give a sense of belonging. Something that I don't always feel on the outside"Shared thoughts definitely help | |||
"There are many things or places I'm naturally drawn to and many others that I struggle or feel uncomfortable with. On the terraces at my football club - that's a real sense of belonging. Fab? Just a bit of escapism not to be taken too seriously - I feel very much the odd one out when everyone else is saying they're constantly horny or sex is the be all and end all. Most of the time I just prefer a cup of tea to be honest. I don't look at others and think 'ah they belong here and I don't'. I just know what I do and don't like, and accept that others will like different things. If that makes them feel like they 'belong' so be it. There was no point sending you FAF then?
Send nudes instead "You first | |||
"But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here.
You belong anywhere there is a group of ppl "3 is a group. | |||
"But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here.
You belong anywhere there is a group of ppl
3 is a group. "So is 42 | |||
"I no I don't belong on hear but..... The forum is addictive
You're here, therefore you belong don't let anyone including yourself tell you otherwise. You certainly belong on the forum, it's a better place with you here x" | |||
| |||
"I don't think I've ever felt that I truly belong to something, whether that be family, work or fab. I tend to perceive myself as floating on the outskirts somewhere. It's hard to explain. It used to be a source of anxiety; not so much anymore, although I do worry a lot and I wonder if this may be a source. You don't think you penetrate the inner circle? " I don't think I'd even recognise the inner circle  | |||
| |||
| |||
"I went to a fab social a few months ago, It was in a normal club but on the second floor and only for fab members, From where I was standing I must of counted at least 5-6 single Men standing on there own, They didn't look like they was enjoying themselves, I didn't see anyone approach them or see them talk to anybody and I thought I wouldn't put myself in that situation, I did briefly chat to another single male as he was walking around chatting with a lot of people, It was the same when I last went to a club as well, My advice for singles is, If you're not good at mingling with strangers make sure you either arrange to meet people or get chatting on here so at least you know someone at the club/social " Good advice in principle but guys struggle to get chatting on here and are told to go to socials, catch 22 | |||
"I really struggle to feel that sense of belonging anywhere. I feel most uncomfortable in a group. I find myself constantly feeling left out or unwanted and have the fear that im just annoying people. Physically I dont feel the need to belong. Im happy enough in any place, I dont form attachments to a place or building. Wherever I lay my hat is my home! On fab i struggle with feeling accepted. I constantly question myself and compare myself to other people. I do feel a wee bit like I belong when people send nice things about posts Ive made or how I come across although I do feel embarrassed by it. I think it makes me go out of my way to make others feel accepted though, fab is a hard place for newbies and I dont like to think of anyone questioning their place. " You definitely belong misses, just do your thing and that's perfect x | |||
"I don't think I need to belong to anything though I love connections with individuals - it's probably unlikely that I'd establish the types of connections I like with a huge volume of people in a group. I tend to be a mixer but also form new groups that are of my design and reflective of people that I value. I prefer quality and not quantity when it comes to hoe I'll spend my time with people " Forming your own group I like that | |||
| |||
| |||
"Belonging is something I'm not good at, I struggle with it in every situation. I constantly compare myself to others and feel i come up short. Eve n with a group of friends I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in. If you met me you wouldn't know that inside I feel lonely in a room full of people, I've just gained good skills at projecting a confident exterior. And on here I constantly question do I belong, so many people meeting others. Lots of single people having carefree lifestyles. I don't think I feel I fit in anywhere, but try my best to make sure others always feel comfortable in my company. I know the lounge social will be a big trial for me though a few familiar faces and friends will be there, but those first moments of walking into a room and not knowing everyone makes my stomach knot already. X " Don't you worry one of my hugs and you'll be fine. We'll all look after you xxx | |||
"I went to a fab social a few months ago, It was in a normal club but on the second floor and only for fab members, From where I was standing I must of counted at least 5-6 single Men standing on there own, They didn't look like they was enjoying themselves, I didn't see anyone approach them or see them talk to anybody and I thought I wouldn't put myself in that situation, I did briefly chat to another single male as he was walking around chatting with a lot of people, It was the same when I last went to a club as well, My advice for singles is, If you're not good at mingling with strangers make sure you either arrange to meet people or get chatting on here so at least you know someone at the club/social Good advice in principle but guys struggle to get chatting on here and are told to go to socials, catch 22 "That's why I said "If you're not good at mingling with strangers make sure you either arrange to meet people or get chatting on here so at least you know someone at the club/social" Let people know you are attending on the same night as them and explain that it will be your first time going and it would be nice to say hello and have a little chat, In most cases I'm not the sort of person people approach and in my opinion I don't make a good first impression so that's why I don't go often or alone, If you're just going to go and stand in a corner looking unapproachable you will be wasting your time and it will put you off attending again | |||
"I went to a fab social a few months ago, It was in a normal club but on the second floor and only for fab members, From where I was standing I must of counted at least 5-6 single Men standing on there own, They didn't look like they was enjoying themselves, I didn't see anyone approach them or see them talk to anybody and I thought I wouldn't put myself in that situation, I did briefly chat to another single male as he was walking around chatting with a lot of people, It was the same when I last went to a club as well, My advice for singles is, If you're not good at mingling with strangers make sure you either arrange to meet people or get chatting on here so at least you know someone at the club/social Good advice in principle but guys struggle to get chatting on here and are told to go to socials, catch 22
That's why I said "If you're not good at mingling with strangers make sure you either arrange to meet people or get chatting on here so at least you know someone at the club/social"
Let people know you are attending on the same night as them and explain that it will be your first time going and it would be nice to say hello and have a little chat, In most cases I'm not the sort of person people approach and in my opinion I don't make a good first impression so that's why I don't go often or alone,
If you're just going to go and stand in a corner looking unapproachable you will be wasting your time and it will put you off attending again
" | |||
| |||
| |||
" Maybe we're naturally drawn to the environment that suits us, and includes the people we can associate with? Perhaps we don't consciously realise that ? New experiences and places will always draw curiosity but they perhaps lack longevity?" Or you may realise that's actually where you belong | |||
"Anxiety is a wonderful thing isn't it. I actively avoid social situations as I just tend to feel awkward and out of place. I find it especially harder if I'm around loud people. I constantly stress I will say the wrong thing, look awkward in general or do something to make myself look stupid. So much easier to avoid unless I'm going somewhere I'm familiar, and comfortable with. " This is pretty much me. | |||
| |||
"I don't feel I have to belong to anything or any click, but I have been to some socials where I have been made to feel unwanted...... I'm fairly good at mixing with strangers and environments of different folk, but certainly at some socials I've left early or gone away thinking twice about doing it again." I'm sorry to here that and I sincerely hope everyone will feel welcome at the lounge social with lots of hugs and smiles x | |||
"I never really feel like I belong anywhere. I'm not your typical single mum/32 year old/alternative kinda person/fabber. Whatever situation I'm in I'm usually the weirdo. I think outside the box too much and don't follow the stereotypes. I try to avoid new things and meeting new people and keep myself to myself if I'm out just incase. " Oh outside the box is where more ppl need to venture, maybe those in their comfort zone are actually the "weirdos" x | |||
| |||
"Oh I've accepted a long time ago that I don't 'belong' as such anywhere. I don't possess the neurotypical way of viewing the world and I trained myself to be more societally acceptable a long time ago. Even recently, there was a thread asking how well you fitted into a standard response. The amount of people who have said previously they don't fit in but said the response was accurate? On the other hand, I with my usual charm and understanding called it for what it was. That reinforced the idea that I don't belong with fab folk. I was another who was genuinely nervous about the Tea Party. Those who I spoke to were genuinely lovely welcoming but I still didn't feel like I belong. I'd go so far as to say I felt more accepted later in the night. Meh, I don't know. Vague stream of consciousness few." But aren't Fab folk all different? Although depending on what kind of interaction you want with folk besides the obvious, maybe belonging is irrelevant? | |||
"Oh I've accepted a long time ago that I don't 'belong' as such anywhere. I don't possess the neurotypical way of viewing the world and I trained myself to be more societally acceptable a long time ago. Even recently, there was a thread asking how well you fitted into a standard response. The amount of people who have said previously they don't fit in but said the response was accurate? On the other hand, I with my usual charm and understanding called it for what it was. That reinforced the idea that I don't belong with fab folk. I was another who was genuinely nervous about the Tea Party. Those who I spoke to were genuinely lovely welcoming but I still didn't feel like I belong. I'd go so far as to say I felt more accepted later in the night. Meh, I don't know. Vague stream of consciousness few. But aren't Fab folk all different? Although depending on what kind of interaction you want with folk besides the obvious, maybe belonging is irrelevant?" Yes, all people are different. Not just the fab folk. My point was more that when you get lots of people saying one thing and you something else - you don't feel like you are 'part of it'. Do I think it's irrelevant? I'm not sure. I don't only interact with those I want to fuck. I also do with those I like. I guess with those I don't it's not important. Even the response now - the irrelevance point wasn't brought up with other posters. Or that everyone is different. Meh! | |||
| |||
"Oh I've accepted a long time ago that I don't 'belong' as such anywhere. I don't possess the neurotypical way of viewing the world and I trained myself to be more societally acceptable a long time ago. Even recently, there was a thread asking how well you fitted into a standard response. The amount of people who have said previously they don't fit in but said the response was accurate? On the other hand, I with my usual charm and understanding called it for what it was. That reinforced the idea that I don't belong with fab folk. I was another who was genuinely nervous about the Tea Party. Those who I spoke to were genuinely lovely welcoming but I still didn't feel like I belong. I'd go so far as to say I felt more accepted later in the night. Meh, I don't know. Vague stream of consciousness few. But aren't Fab folk all different? Although depending on what kind of interaction you want with folk besides the obvious, maybe belonging is irrelevant? Yes, all people are different. Not just the fab folk. My point was more that when you get lots of people saying one thing and you something else - you don't feel like you are 'part of it'. Do I think it's irrelevant? I'm not sure. I don't only interact with those I want to fuck. I also do with those I like. I guess with those I don't it's not important. Even the response now - the irrelevance point wasn't brought up with other posters. Or that everyone is different. Meh!" I was just curious if it impacted your experience as you feel you don't belong. I perhaps could have worded it better. I wonder if you've considered that you aren't alone in your thinking, but maybe you're the only one who has the balls to say what you do | |||
| |||
"What Lounge social????!!!!!!! "Oh, Manchester | |||
| |||
"I was just curious if it impacted your experience as you feel you don't belong. I perhaps could have worded it better. I wonder if you've considered that you aren't alone in your thinking, but maybe you're the only one who has the balls to say what you do "Yeah, maybe. I know that I'm an unique poster who needs a different approach when responding to what could be a delicate subject. .
Am I the only one? Doubt it. But the question wasn't whether I'm an unique snowflake with a rare insight, just if I felt I belonged. | |||
"I was just curious if it impacted your experience as you feel you don't belong. I perhaps could have worded it better. I wonder if you've considered that you aren't alone in your thinking, but maybe you're the only one who has the balls to say what you do
Yeah, maybe. I know that I'm an unique poster who needs a different approach when responding to what could be a delicate subject. .
Am I the only one? Doubt it. But the question wasn't whether I'm an unique snowflake with a rare insight, just if I felt I belonged. "I know I got carried away, I've just eaten  | |||
"What Lounge social????!!!!!!!
Oh, Manchester "Did you think you'd missed something? | |||
"What Lounge social????!!!!!!!
Oh, Manchester
Did you think you'd missed something? "Yes  | |||
"What Lounge social????!!!!!!!
Oh, Manchester
Did you think you'd missed something?
Yes "Awwwwww bless, imagine the veris you could get from the social if you were coming. I don't do veris but I'd have ball doing one for you  | |||
"What Lounge social????!!!!!!!
Oh, Manchester
Did you think you'd missed something?
Yes "There's the tea party too | |||
"I often wonder about a person's perception of if they belong somewhere or not. What is it that makes them believe they don't belong? Why is it they have chosen to be somewhere yet they have overwhelming thoughts making them doubt their decision?" It is interesting to me that you specifically put the onus on the person that feels uncomfortable or feels like they don't belong. It is not my thoughts or emotions on belonging that make me a misfit or an outsider. You are very eager to reassure the odd ones out on this thread that they have a right to be here and that they can belong as much as anybody else, but this is simply not how it works for the oddballs of this world. Any coherent collection of people will soon make it clear to you if you are "different", sometimes subtly, sometimes not. When you deviate, part of a group will tolerate you and part will want you out, simply for spoiling the cohesion of the group. It is not a comfortable position to be in, so you tolerate it in return and at some point you get fed up and leave. I am too straight for queer company and too queer for straight, so for most of my life I have been a social drifter, my chosen family excluded. I have found the swinging world hit&miss. On the one hand it is a place where freaks congregate - we break sexual norms, so that's a start. On the other hand, like with any other group the objectives of it can be strict and unbending. When I first joined swinger sites I was told literally every week that I shouldn't be on here - if that's not a clear message that I don't belong I don't know what is. | |||
| |||
